


Two Weeks In Hawaii

by ipanicdaily



Series: Two Weeks In Hawaii [1]
Category: Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Drama, F/M, Hawaii, M/M, Vacation, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-01
Packaged: 2017-11-04 16:52:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 112,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ipanicdaily/pseuds/ipanicdaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being left at the alter the night before his wedding to Pete-fucking-Wentz, Ryan cashes in his honeymoon tickets to Hawaii where he finds that maybe not all men are complete assholes. -- features pretty much every relationship ever, tons of characters, a bunch of relationships, and more butthurt and angst than any one story should.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

The curtains were pulled tightly shut, the joining points clipped together so they couldn't stray apart. All around on the carpet and queen sized bed were balls of crumpled tissues, three empty cardboard boxes thrown against the wall once they were empty. The phone was unplugged and laying in a pile of cords on the floor beside the clock whose neon glow provided too much light in the otherwise pitch black room. The bedroom door had been tightly shut as well as the door to the joining bathroom where the contents of the medicine cabinet littered the floor. This was how it's been for about a week. 

Ryan had secluded himself from the world by any and all means he could. The only time he left his bed was to use the toilet, cupping his hands beneath the running faucet when he needed a drink. It was almost a week ago that his fiancé, fucking-Pete-fucking-Wentz, his once boyfriend of five years, told Ryan he had found someone else; the night before their wedding. It was then that Ryan's world collapsed and started on an ever falling downward spiral. He had loved Pete, the words said back to him in the darkest hours of the night as they lay beneath the sheets, and Pete had suddenly fallen in love with someone else, casting Ryan aside like all those years meant nothing.

The first day, the day he was supposed to wed, Ryan cried and cried until he basically shriveled up. It had taken a lot for him to ask Pete to marry him; the thought of permanent commitment a bit overwhelming. Still, he managed, and Pete accepted; why accept if he wasn't in love with Ryan? The second day was anger. Ryan ripped apart his room and anything Pete had owned or used a lot was thrown haphazardly at a wall. Each item Ryan cursed out; imagining Pete standing before him as he angrily pelted the objects forward. He had dented some of the walls but Ryan didn't care. Pete had dented Ryan's heart. 

The third day, Ryan decided to leave the world. He locked the windows and closed the curtains so the light couldn't come in, not wanting to hear anyone in the world outside. Ryan unplugged his phone so the repetitive ring wouldn't disrupt his seclusion, unplugging his clock as well after deciding the large, neon-green numbers were a constant reminder of every minute passing that he was now single. The forth to present day have been depression. Ryan lies in his bed on his stomach, blanket draped loosely over his lower body with one leg sticking out, staring blankly at the blackness around him. He was supposed to be on his honeymoon in Hawaii and already had the time from work. 

It was when Ryan heard the front door slam that he regretted giving his best friends an emergency key. This wasn't an emergency; this was grieving. Wasn't Ryan entitled to that? "George Ryan Ross the third!" Spencer's angered voice echoed outside his room, Ryan cringing at the name. He hates his first name; that's why he goes by 'Ryan'. Footsteps drew closer to the door so Ryan lazily grabbed a pillow next to him, the case thoroughly doused in air freshener to eliminate the smell of Pete, and placed it over his head. "You have ten seconds to open up!" Spencer called through the wood.

Ryan made no effort to move; he just shut his eyes and ignored Spencer's counting. When Spencer reached 'one', Ryan heard the golden handle shake a bit before the door popped open, the atmosphere almost instantly changing to something less heavy. "God Ryan; dark enough?" Spencer asked, his hand sliding along the light blue wall to find the plastic casing to the light switch, his fingers flicking the switch up and the ceiling light instantly bursting on, grateful to once again shine. "This place is a mess."

"Go away, Spin," Ryan mumbled into the pillow beneath him, his warm breath bouncing back at him.

"You're depressed; I get that. Pete's a fucking selfish asshole. But secluding yourself in your room like a fucking vampire is _not_ how you deal with it," Spencer said, ignoring Jon's looks of 'show some sympathy'. "When the last time you ate? Or bathed for that matter?"

"Just leave me alone," Ryan whined, pushing his face into the feathery pillow.

"You had a week of that," Spencer huffed, staring at the lump of Ryan before him. "Now it's time for intervention."

"We just want to help because we're concerned about you," Jon said in a far softer tone. "We care about you and want to see you happy." Spencer rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's 'common friend' speech because this was Ryan and he was much more than a 'common friend'. He was a brother. 

"Bring Pete back," Ryan said. "That'll make me happy."

"That's too bad because next time I see that little bastard, I'm going to rip his balls off and shove them down his throat then bash his fucking face in," Spencer said, Ryan fighting back a smile.

"Spence;" Jon gave him that 'calm down' look, having dealt with Spencer's anger about the whole situation the entire week. "I'm going to make lunch." Jon addressed Ryan again. "I expect you to eat Ryan." His voice was a bit warning as he turned and left. 

"Come on, Ry." Spencer's voice softened considerably as he walked further into the room and towards the opposite side of the bed. "Staying in here like this, letting yourself waste away, it only letting Pete win." He pushed some of the tissues from the bed to the floor. "You have to get up and get out there to show that pompous asshole that you're doing just fine without him." Spencer climbed onto the bed, Ryan shifting as the mattress dipped down a bit beneath his best friend's body. 

"I'm not fine without him," Ryan said miserably. "I loved him, Spin. I loved him and he fucking used me." Tears started to make their way to Ryan's already sore, red eyes. Spencer sighed and lay on his side, facing Ryan, reaching out and removing the pillow from Ryan's head before he suffocated. "He was my world."

"That was your problem," Spencer said cautiously. "You did everything and anything for him. He was only using you, Ryan. And once you were used, he tossed you out to move on." Spencer spoke quietly but truthfully, pushing Ryan's matted hair back to expose his pale face. "It was a one sided love."

"He was going to marry me," Ryan practically whispered, clinging to the fabric of the striped pillowcase beneath his head. He knew Spencer was right, but he really did love Pete and couldn't ever leave him. Ryan just wanted to do whatever it took for Pete to love him back. _Truly_ love him.

"Pete was doing whatever it took to completely use you, Ryan," Spencer answered, still stroking Ryan's hair. "He couldn't actually commit to you. He should have never said 'yes'." 

"It hurts, Spin," Ryan whispered, raising his head to look at Spencer with squinted eyes.

"I know," Spencer calmly replied, laying his arm over Ryan and pulling the older boy towards him. Ryan reluctantly moved his body towards Spencer, letting his best friend's arms envelope him as he began to lightly cry again, laying his head on Spencer's chest. "It'll hurt for awhile but you just have to find a way to help yourself get over that pain. That doesn't mean not eating or bathing or locking yourself in your room without light or human contact. That's just going to make the pain worse." 

"Help me?" Ryan asked, matching his breathing to the steady beating of Spencer's heart.

"Of course," Spencer smiled. "That's what friends are for."


	2. Day One

**Day One**

"This isn't what I had in mind," Ryan muttered under his breath, laying his head against the small glass window, arms folded tightly over his chest. Spencer's grand idea to help Ryan was to actually go to Hawaii for two weeks and cash in the honeymoon tickets. That meant Ryan had to ask for _another_ week off, he hadn't told them he wasn't actually married, and he had to stay in the hotel he was supposed to stay with Pete in. Ryan didn't have a choice though; Spencer basically dragged him to the shower and packed his bags while he bathed. At least Spencer and Jon took the seats meant for Pete and Ryan; the trip paid for but never really given an absolute date. Ryan had to buy his own ticket though. 

He sat next to a quiet boy with shaggy brown hair and extremely long legs. Ryan was glad the man was more involved in his music than Ryan because Ryan was definitely not in the mood for socializing. It was bad enough he had to listen to a baby a few rows up and feel the occasional kick from a bratty child behind him who fought his mother about buckling up. Ryan just bit his lip and stared out the window at the world which was tinted from his sunglasses, debating tightening the scarf around his neck to choke himself to death. He really needed a few more, less spontaneous, friends.

The flight attendant gestured around as the pilot spoke, showing them how to properly wear the oxygen mask should a problem arise during the flight. Ryan could care less if the plane went spiraling down because at least the panicked screams from the passengers would take his mind off Pete. When the blond flight attendant was done flashing her perfect smile and dainty movements, she went to take a seat as the plane slowly began to move. Ryan watched his surroundings slowly begin to blur since he wasn't focusing on anything in particular, imagining Pete laying, forcibly of course, on the runway for the plane to run over. Him and his boy toy; Patrick, was it?

"I hate flying," The once silent man said with a nervous laugh. Ryan rolled his eyes, cursing whoever it was up beyond those clouds that had it in for him. "What about you?"

"Not a hobby," Ryan bluntly answered, head still resting on the window. 

"Helps if you have someone to talk to," The man said. "Someone pretty." Ryan sighed and raised his hand, flashing the little gold band around his finger to the man. Yes, it's a bit pathetic for him to still be wearing it when he was practically left at the altar, but it helps with people who try to hit on him. "That's cool. I technically have a boyfriend." 

"Technically?" Ryan dropped his arms and turned his head towards the man who was smiling, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. Aren't you either taken or single? 

"It's a complex relationship," The man said, his voice hitching a bit as the wheels started to leave the ground. Ryan saw his fingers clasp the handles and yeah, he really didn't like flying. "Gabe, that's his name, is my boyfriend but he does shit with other people when I'm away." The man shrugged.

"And you're ok with that?" Ryan's other eyebrow rose to meet the other, the white rimmed sunglasses sliding down a bit to reveal the top of his brown eyes. 

"Sure," He shrugged again. "We're only human and he's got needs, you know. I do stuff with other people when I'm out too. But in the end, we always have each other to come back to." The man looked to the gray seat in front of him, a smile on his lips. "What I do with Gabe is loving, caring, and makes me feel like we're the only two people in the world. With everyone else, it's just releasing sexual tension." 

"Yeah," Ryan mumbled, adjusting his sunglasses.

"Name's William, by the way," The man looked back to Ryan and stuck his hand out. "But most people call me Will or Bill or sometimes Bilvy." 

"Uh...Ryan," he said, hesitantly placing his hand in Will's. He wished Will/Bill/Bilvy would just go back to his music, turning his head back to the window and watching everything gradually get smaller. 

"So," Ryan took a deep breath filled with frustration, "Are you like on a business trip or something?"

"Vacation," Ryan answered, holding his elbows and turning his shoulders away from William a bit. Will hummed to himself before leaving Ryan alone and fiddling with his iPod. So far, this trip was doing nothing for Ryan. He only prayed Will's battery held out for the next couple of hours.

-#-#-#-#-

"Ryan; Hey, Ryan," Will gently shook Ryan's shoulder until he managed to wake him, Ryan not even realizing he had fallen asleep. "We're going to land in a few minutes, Ryan."

"Wha'?" Ryan sleepily asked, completely forgetting he was on a plane until his mind came around. He yawned, his jaw threatening to break in half, and shifted in the small chair until he was somewhat facing Will. "Are you wearing m' glasses?" Ryan asked, his vision still slightly blurred.

"Hmm?" Will hummed, playing with his seat belt until it clicked around his bony hips.

"My sunglasses," Ryan repeated with annoyance, reaching towards Will's face and removing his shades.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Bill blushed a bit as he sat back up, shaking his head so his bangs weren't completely in his face. "You fell asleep with 'em on and I didn't want you to wake up and have all these strange lines on your face so I took them off. I was only wearing them because I was afraid I would lose them and they're really cool."

"Thanks," Ryan mumbled, wiping them off with the bottom of his shirt. He slid them back onto his face as the pilot started telling them the time and weather, Ryan retuning to staring out the window. He had never removed his seatbelt so Will could have let him sleep until the plane had completely landed. 

As the plane slowly began its descent, the clouds revealed the vast amount of water surrounding the island, the sun reflecting off the shimmering surface. Ryan was grateful they were staying in a less populated area on whichever island it was exactly they were staying. He couldn't be bothered with the details since the very mention of 'Hawaii' made him think instantly of Pete and how that was supposed to be their honeymoon destination so Ryan just let Spencer deal with all of that. 

The view was nice, Ryan decided, as the plane got closer to the ground. There was a mountain, or maybe a volcano, a bit off in the distance and lots of trees. Ryan loved nature and surrounding himself in it. The trees aren't judgmental and the flowers are always there to cheer people up with their entrancing aromas and tantalizing beauty. Nature was peaceful and relaxing. "Ever been to Hawaii?" Will asked, his voice once again slightly hitched, finger digging into the seat.

"No," Ryan answered with no emotion, continuing to stare out the window.

"You'll love it," William beamed. 

"I'm sure," he drawled, the wheels of the plane hitting the ground at long last. 

"My friend lives here so I come a couple of weeks a year to hang with him," Will told Ryan, his body relaxing as the plane began to lose speed. "I always hate leaving."

"Then move here," Ryan said a little bitterly, annoyed by Will again. 

"Then I'd miss Gabe too much and he won't go anywhere they don't have about twenty bars or clubs," he said with laughter. Ryan just replied with some noise produced in his throat, his lips pulled tight together in a straight line. He was happy to have landed so he can get away from Will for a bit and sit in the quietness of his hotel room for the next two weeks. "Well, Ryan, it would seem we have reached our destination at long last."

"Yep," The plane was at a complete step and the passengers were getting ready to get off. Will unbuckled and stood up, stepping into the aisle and grabbing his overhead bag, placing Ryan's in the seat, and looking back to Ryan who had just gotten to undoing his own seatbelt.

"See you around?" Will asked with a hopeful smile.

"I wouldn't count on it," Ryan answered, Will already having moved towards the door without hearing Ryan's answer. People were quick to get off, Ryan stuck waiting in his seat for the aisle to clear, not that he was in much of a hurry anyway. He watched the mothers practically drag their children along, people pushing against each other, wondering what it was they were in such a hurry to get to. Hawaii was more of a vacation spot than somewhere for business meetings and what not. Shouldn't they be trying to relax?

About five to ten minutes later, the plane was pretty much empty so Ryan picked his bag up from Will's seat and slung it over his shoulder, stepping out of the seats and into the cramped aisle, ignoring the attendant's smile as he passed, walking out into the connecting tunnel from the plane to the building. He could hear the people in the airport and the first thing Ryan saw as he rounded the small corner were his friends, both of which who had obtained leis, waiting impatiently for him. "Let's go, Ross," Spencer called. Ryan made no attempt to quicken his pace.

When he reached the end, there was a lady there with leis, one of which she tried to stick on Ryan, but he just headed in the opposite direction because he was already wearing a scarf. A string of fake florescent flowers would only look stupid on top of that. "Were you ok on the plane?" Jon asked as Ryan got close to them, his hand tightly held in his boyfriends.

"I slept most of it," Ryan shrugged, stopping in front of Jon and Spencer. "Now what?"

"We go check into our hotel and get settled then figure out what we're doing tomorrow," Spencer said, making it half way through the sentence before turning and suddenly tugging Jon off towards the luggage claim. Ryan watched them start off before Spencer told him to move it or be sorry so he followed them, taking his own time while walking through the small airport. By the time he made it to the luggage claim, his had already been claimed by Spencer who agreed to carry it if Ryan would move his ass a little faster. Ryan didn't know why Spencer was in such a hurry, they had two weeks, but he gave in because he didn't have to carry his own bag; not that it was filled with much to begin with. 

"Anything particular you want to do while here?" Jon asked as they all got outside, Spencer focusing on obtaining a cab for them. 

"Nope," Ryan said just as blankly as he had talked to William while in the air. "I figured Spin would have every minute planned out perfectly for me anyway." Jon laughed lightly from his spot beside Ryan.

"He has a lot he wants to do," Jon nodded, smiling and watching Spencer bounce on his heels a bit, searching for a ride. "But he wants you to have fun too, Ryan. We both do." 

"So you've said." Ryan looked at his watch, wondering how long it would take Spencer. It's not even that busy. At least not as busy as Vegas or the few times he ended up in New York. 

"The only way you're going to have fun is if you try." Jon frowned at Ryan.

"I am trying," Ryan responded slightly frustrated. "I left my house, didn't I?"

"Come on you two!" Spencer called, having found a cab and was loading bags in already. Jon's eyes hovered on Ryan a moment longer before he silently sighed and headed towards his boyfriend, Ryan shoving his sunglasses against his face, leisurely joining Jon and Spencer in the cab. 

-#-#-#-#-

Ryan lay sprawled across the bed of his hotel room, staring at the ceiling above him, his eyes tracing the bumpy pattern of the small sectioned squares. His bags sat in a pile beside the door where he had lazily dropped them once he was inside his room, telling Spencer and Jon that he was just going to relax for the remainder of the evening. The two had tried to get Ryan to agree to a room with two beds, mainly so they could moderate him, but the idea of being in the same room with a happy couple cashing in on his honeymoon didn't exactly appeal to Ryan, so he settled for a room beside theirs. Ryan only prayed the walls were thick enough. 

Extending from Ryan's room was a little deck with a lawn chair, looking out towards the ocean and vast amount of sand which served as a beach. People were scattered across the land, enjoying the warm sun that poked into Ryan's room but he couldn't be bothered to really do anything. Though he had slept on the plane, he was still exhausted and still didn't feel like facing the world. Instead, he used his thumb to spin the little golden band around his finger, trying to figure out exactly what he did wrong that allowed Pete to move on so quickly. 

He knew that it really wasn't his fault, that Pete was just using him, and that Spencer would kill him if he found out Ryan was blaming himself, but it still hurt. He had done so much for Pete, never really asking much in return, and all it got was him a mutilated heart and a two week stay, pretty much alone, in one of the top vacation spots in the world. Ryan already wasn't a big fan of Hawaii. 

Sighing, he turned to his side and moved up farther on the bed, clutching the pillow firmly beneath his head while staring at the door until he bored himself to sleep.


	3. Day Two

**Day Two**

Spencer decided that for their first full day on the island, they would start simple and go hang out down by the water for the day. Ryan had no interest in going down by the ocean but Spencer once again pretty much dragged him along thus Ryan sat in the sand, watching Spencer and Jon attempt to throw a frisbee back and forth. His sunglasses were hiding his hurt-filled eyes, his knees pulled up towards his chest with a light breeze brushing through Ryan's hair. There weren't many people out yet considering it was roughly noon, but there were still more than Ryan preferred. Still, he knew that he couldn't have the entire island to himself. It was safe to bet though he wouldn't be running into Pete; he left that nightmare back in Vegas. 

"Sure you don't want to play?" Jon asked, walking over to Ryan with the plastic disc clasped in his hand. 

"I'm sure." Ryan answered, pushing his feet a little further into the warm grains of sand all around him. 

"The water's pretty warm." Jon suggested, trying to get Ryan to open up a little more. "I'm debating pushing Spencer's ass in when he least expects it." A very small smile played at Ryan's lips because the thought of Spencer being shoved into the water was quite amusing. Especially since Spencer wouldn't be too happy about that and watching him chase Jon around might brighten his mood a bit. 

"I'm fine sitting here." Ryan lifted his head up towards Jon whose body was outlined by the sun, making him look like a black figure regardless of Ryan's designer sunglasses. "Go have fun with Spence." He gave Jon a small smile, wanting his friends to just leave him alone for a little while. Ryan liked sitting beneath the umbrella, feeling the gentle breeze against his skin and listening to the ocean's waves crash against the shore. It was soothing. 

"Alright..." Jon frowned, not fully convinced but knowing better than to push Ryan because he wasn't Spencer and wouldn't be able to get away with such an action as lightly. "Come join us whenever." Ryan nodded, lowering his head back to his knees as Jon knocked his fist against the frisbee before turning and jogging back out towards Spencer who had been drawing things in the sand with a stick. 

Alone again, Ryan turned his head so his chin rested on his knees rather than his cheek, his eyes directed straight ahead. In the distance, a man on a surfboard caught Ryan's attention and he squinted his eyes a bit to narrow his field of vision, curiously watching the man sit on the board while small waves rocked him gently. From what Ryan could see, he wore a skin-tight blue water suit, his dark hair sticking to his head as though he had been beneath the surface a few times already. It's not like Ryan hadn't seen people surfing out here already; but something about this man just kept Ryan's attention. 

When a larger wave came and the man pulled himself to his knees while watching it draw closer, Ryan moved his sunglasses down a bit, peering over the top to get a clearer view. The man stood up, shifting his legs along the long board beneath his feet, balancing himself, ready to embrace the wave. Ryan didn't realize his jaw dropped slightly as he watched the man surf, the stranger's slim body moving perfectly as he guided the board along the water, letting the ocean move him. Surfing had always been just another sport to Ryan, but watching this man surf in the distance, Ryan found himself thinking of it as a dance or perhaps a way of life; the man's body working with the water.

It didn't last long, Ryan just imagining the act in slow motion, and the man became too far away for Ryan to really have a good view at. Frowning, Ryan slid his glasses back up all the way, turning his head again to find Jon and Spencer coming back towards him; William following them. "Ryan!" Will beamed, running past the other two to where he sat on the ground. "How awesome is that we are together again?"

"It's a miracle." Ryan sarcastically answered though Will wasn't paying much attention. 

"You two know each other?" Spencer asked, head tilted to the side as he approached. 

"Ryan and I sat beside each other on the plane." Will answered, falling down to the sand beside Ryan. "Why are you just sitting here all alone?" 

"I like being alone," Ryan said, trying to hint to Will to go away. Sadly, it didn't work.

"Will was playing frisbee with us then invited us to a cook out or something that his friend's having tonight," Jon said, sitting down in front of Ryan and somewhat mirroring his position. Ryan wished the surfer wasn't gone because he was a good distraction for him and a far better sight than Jon's beaming face. 

"Will said his friend lives here and would probably show us all the cool spots!" Spencer chimed as he dropped down to the sand as well, laying his head on Jon's shoulder. "Isn't that awesome Ryan?!"

"I think I'll pass," he said, avoiding any direct contact with anyone. 

"You're not getting out of this, Ross," Spencer said. "We've gone over the whole secluding yourself like a vampire thing. You're coming with us tonight; even if I have to drag you there forcibly." 

"Brendon, that's my friend, is really fun. I think you'll like him." William told Ryan with a smile. "He knows all the best places to go here and the most fun things to do. He's a tour guide during the day which is probably why and-" he stopped himself as he looked off in the distance, smiling widely. "There! That's him!" Will's arm shot out, almost smacking Ryan right in the face, a long finger stretched out to point. Everyone's eyes followed the path Will created and Ryan almost let his jaw fall down again. "The one surfing. That's Brendon. He does that a lot and he's really good at it." No, the person Ryan was somewhat ogling earlier could _not_ be who William was talking about. That's just too...no.

"He's cute..." Spencer smiled, looking back to Ryan with that gleam in his eye. Jon had a bit of an annoyed huff to the comment but he didn't say anything, looking back towards his friend as well with a hinting smile. Ryan rolled his eyes behind the sunglasses, leaning forward onto his legs more so the tips of his fingers touched the sand, flicking the little grains absently. "See Ryan? It's _definitely_ worth going. This is _exactly_ what you need to get your mind off that fucktard in Vegas." 

"I wasn't thinking about Pete..." Ryan mumbled with a small sigh. "But thanks to you, now I am."

"Who's Pete?" Will inquired, already having decided his new friends were his best friends. 

"Ryan's ex-fiancé and the world's biggest asshole," Spencer said with anger. Ryan bit his lip and shut his eyes, feeling the scratchy sand against the once sensitive tips of his fingers. His guitar had taken away the majority of feeling they once held. But the scratchy sand; that's still there. 

"I thought you were married..." Bilvy cocked his head and looked at Ryan, frowning slightly. 

"Not exactly..." Ryan answered into his legs. 

"Point is," Jon saw his friend breaking down again, "Ryan's here to have a good time and forget about that jerk because he's so much better than Pete in every way." Ryan hated Jon at first because Spencer used to hang out with Ryan a lot more before Jon came around, but he loves Jon because the man is very sensitive to how others are feeling and tends to be the one to help. Like now. 

"I'll make a deal with you," Spencer said, moving himself to his knees and crawling in the sand towards Ryan, lifting his face up. "Go tonight to this cookout thing. If you have a bad time, I won't make you do a single thing for the next two weeks. You have a good time, well that's pretty self explanatory." Spencer's eyes sparkled a little, almost as though he was saying _I dare you_ , and Ryan can't decline a dare.

"Fine." he huffed, releasing his knees. "We have witnesses too, Spin." Spencer smiled and sat back, sticking his hand out. Ryan lazily gave Spencer his hand and they shook on the 'bet', Ryan frowning at the way Spencer looked at him. It was a look of _I know I'm going to win_ , since he does that a lot to Ryan. But Ryan is miserable as hell and there really isn't anything that can change that. 

"Yay!" Will beamed, throwing his long, bony arms around Ryan's body and squeezing him a little too tightly. Ryan frowned, Bill far to close and comfortable for his liking, but bit on the inside of his lip until he was released. "I'll come pick you guys up at around seven, ok?" He let go of Ryan and stood up, waving as he jogged through the sand towards his friend in the distance. Ryan continued to pout as he watched the lengthy man grow smaller, reaching the wet-suit-wearing-semi-hot (ok maybe more than semi, but Ryan wasn't going to let that slip) man as he carried the surfboard from the water.

"That leaves you," Spencer looked down at the little watch hanging loosely around his wrist, "Five and a half hours to get ready, your majesty." he teased Ryan, earning a light smack on the arm from Jon. 

"Fuck off Spin," Ryan mumbled, trying not to let his eyes glance off in the direction Will had gone to; failing in the end. He looked and saw them talking, Will gesturing back and the surfer, Brendon?, looking out as well, giving a casual wave of his hand as though he knew Ryan was looking. As the blush quickly flooded to Ryan's cheeks, he turned his head in the opposite direction and cast his eyes to the sand, not that anyone could see them from behind the glasses. He most definitely wasn't trying to check Brendon out from far away because one, that's creepy, two, Ryan's not like that, and three, he's just getting over a very painful and failed attempt at a relationship; a marriage. It's far too soon to be checking hot Hawaiian natives out. Even ones wearing skin tight body suits and having bodies that glide along the water so effortlessly with-no. Just, no. 

"How about a little more frisbee?" Jon suggested, changing the topic and saving Ryan once again. 

"No thanks." Ryan sighed to himself and looked back to their hotel. "I'm kinda hot. I think I'm going to head back."

"Don't forget your make up." Spencer smiled, Jon tugging him from the sand. Ryan just glared at his friend, watching them head off towards the vacant part of the beach again before glancing back to where William and the surfer had been. They were gone now, Ryan's face dropping a little more, so he pushed himself from the warm of the sand, brushing the grains off, and started back towards the building where his clothes were. He could hear Spencer and Jon faintly laughing from the beach, the hotel wasn't far from the water after all, and sighed heavily as his feet sunk into the earth.

It was going to be a very long night. 

■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□

It wasn't until about a quarter after seven that William arrived in a silver jeep decorated in hand-painted flowers of pale colors. Ryan stood by the drive to the hotel with Spencer and Jon, arms crossed over his chest and a bitter frown on his face. He wasn't late; even after spending a long time going through all of his clothes which were now thrown all over the hotel room. He had been at the door at seven, six fifty-nine even, like he had been told. Will was late and that annoyed Ryan. "I'm not getting in that." Ryan stated firmly, raising a weary eyebrow while glancing over the vehicle, if you can call it that, Will drove.

"It's really safe," Will said, frowning some himself. "I'm a good driver too; I swear." 

"There aren't any doors." Ryan pointed out, not budging from his stationary spot on the edge of the road. "Therefore that can't possibly be safe." 

"There's seatbelts, you idiot," Spencer said, already pulling himself into the back. There wasn't even a roof to the jeep-thing. Just a metal frame where a roof _should_ be; lights on top for when it's dark. There wasn't a trunk either; just a line of padded cushion where it belonged, serving as back seats. 

"Trust me Ryan; Brendon's done some crazy shit with this, stuff I would never attempt, and is perfectly fine." Bill tried to coax Ryan out of his paranoia over the vehicle. Ryan scoffed, already thinking down on this Brendon person, cute or not, because it's just plain idiotic to do stupid things with a vehicle; especially one lacking doors and a roof. "B really wants to meet you so can we please go?"

"Get your ass in Ross or you forfeit the bet." Spencer called while pulling the safety belt over his body and snapping the little metal clasp in its holder; Jon climbing into the back as well. 

"I think losing a bet is minor compared to losing my life," Ryan said, Spencer rolling his eyes.

"Just get in, Ryan," he said with annoyance, giving Ryan a warning look. And best friend or not, Spencer can be very scary at the best of times, Ryan not wanting to make Spencer blow. He saw Spencer get really mad once and Ryan swore that he would never let that happen again. 

"You're not allowed at my funeral." he mumbled, uncrossing his arms and forcing his legs forward. 

"That's ok," Spencer said as Ryan climbed into the cushioned seat beside Will, moving away from the edge but being careful of how close he got to the driver as well. Being a very thin person has its advantages at times. "I didn't plan on having one for you anyway." he teased. 

"Spin;" Jon's tone was low and warning as he gave Spencer a 'back off' kind of look while Ryan pulled the seatbelt over his own body, wishing there was another one. Spencer slumped down a bit but kept his mouth shut because an angry Jon didn't bode well for anyone either. 

"Alright, so, um, just hold onto the frame or something if you get too scared," Will said with a smile, waiting for Ryan to buckle up and settle before shifting the car into drive. "Everyone all set?" 

"Yep," Spencer said, nodding, eager to meet the infamous Brendon and get him to give them a tour.

"No." Ryan mumbled at the same time as Ryan spoke, too quiet for anyone to hear. He crossed his arms over his body again, wrapping his hands around his sides, and pulling his legs up against the seat while slouching down. He didn't like the fact that there were no doors because his body moved on the seat some and the idea of sliding from the seatbelt to the ground, even if Will wasn't driving all that fast, just wasn't too appealing. 

A disadvantage to being so small. 

The scenery was nice, passing by in a blur of colors since Ryan wasn't focusing on anything specific other than survival, as Bill drove down the vacant road. It was like the country, but prettier and cow-less. Will's long legs were bent pretty hard because he had to leave room for Spencer to sit behind him and he glanced occasionally at Ryan to make sure the other man was ok. He didn't view the jeep as dangerous but enjoyable because the lack of metal allowed the wind to flow freely around and keep the body cool. "So," Will tried to break the silence, "Do any of you do any sports?"

"Not really," Spencer said from behind.

"Nothing outside of a gym." Jon replied, intrigued by the beautiful scenery. He definitely had to get his camera out and around the island at some point. It was too amazing to pass up. 

"Can't be bothered," Ryan said, staring at his feet now. The wind was really blowing against him, making him cold, so he curled up a bit more on the seat. 

"The most I do is the stuff out on the ocean that Brendon always drags me into." William smiled, turning the wheel a bit. "He likes to surf mainly, but also likes scuba diving, jet skiing, and sometimes manages to get his boat out. Oh, and Brendon plays a mean game of beach volleyball." he said happily. 

"Ryan's really good at beach volleyball too!" Spencer suddenly chimed; anything to try and get Ryan to be a little more social, even if he knows his friend prefers to be on his own for the most part. "He was the winner of the tournament at summer camp in eleventh game." 

"Shut up, Spin." Ryan half-hissed because the last thing he wants is for William to be encouraged. 

"You should totally play with Bdon then!" Too late. "He's always looking for people but since no one can beat him, those who haven't played don't even bother. I'd _love_ to see his ass handed to him." Will laughed, turning onto a dirt road engulfed by trees and going uphill.

"If no one else can beat him then I'm sure I can't," Ryan said, really not liking the fact that the road wasn't much of a road at all because the dirt and rocks made the jeep rock back and forth. It made him move a little closer towards Will, just so he wouldn't fall out the side, not to mention the trees attacking them as well. At least William wasn't driving quite as fast, not that he was speeding before, driving farther and farther into the wooded area. It kind of made Ryan think that he was going to be murdered and left there, forever lost among the trees, but William is too nice for that which means Brendon probably wasn't going to kill him either. Hopefully. Ryan may be depressed, but he likes being alive.

At the end of the winding dirt road was a large clearing that nearly floored the three visitors within seconds. Brendon's house was more like the white house of Hawaii. Well, ok, it wasn't really. It was just really big, a log cabin like house, with a large porch and a balcony above extending out from the second floor. Will directed the jeep off to the side on a path of murdered grass where there were a few other vehicles, an actual car and even a motorcycle of some sort, parked in waiting. "Holy shit..." Spencer was the first to actually find his voice, eyes glued on the home of the stranger he more or less was already in love with. Not the kind of love he has for Jon, of course, but love nonetheless. 

"Welcome to the trashiest house you'll ever see." Will smiled, turning the car off and removing the keys; undoing his seatbelt and sliding out. 

"How on earth can this place be trashy?" Spencer asked because Jon was busy contemplating how many different angles of the house he could take pictures of for a new portfolio all about Hawaii and Ryan most definitely wasn't staring with his jaw hanging pretty far down. 

"Brendon doesn't spend much time in his house so he like, never cleans," Bill said as he shook out his soft hair which had been blown about by the wind. "So excuse the mess if you would, please. I tried to convince him to clean but getting him away from the water is near impossible." Ryan definitely wasn't wishing that he lived somewhere like that, just to shove it in Pete's face. Not at all. "This way," William said as he started walking towards the large house. 

It took a moment, but all three instantly threw their seatbelts out and left the jeep, quickly falling into step behind Will, eager to see the inside; in Ryan's case, a little eagerness to see exactly who lived owned such a nice home but hardly spent any time there. Who wouldn't want to spend all their time in such a nice, big house, where there's just endless halls of solitude? It was beyond him. There were four long steps, easily able to fit four people shoulder to shoulder across them, leading to the porch which stretched almost all across the front. The railing was cleanly cut and finished, keeping anyone from accidentally straying off the nicely kept wooden flooring. A few lawn chairs sat on the porch, a small two-person swing, and a glass coffee table with coasters. Ryan definitely wasn't jealous. 

Will pulled back the screen door for them, the wooden door already pushed open, ushering them inside before following. Ryan's jaw was almost at the point of breaking, his eyebrows pretty much in his hair, eyes wide because damn, this guy had money. The floor was wooden like the porch, only shinier with a finer finish. There really weren't walls separating the rooms, just a vast open space. The wall of what Ryan assumed was the living was practically all window, looking out over a good portion of the island they stayed on, the ocean very visible. There were a couple of couches facing each other with a coffee table in the middle, a fireplace, a computer on a desk by the wall, a large plasma television sitting on the ground, and the largest collection of CDs Ryan has ever seen. It was so beautiful; the CDs, at least. Not that the rest of the living room wasn't either. But music is Ryan's one true love that he knows will always be there for him and will never leave him. He had never seen so many square plastic cases in one place before; stores don't count. 

"Brendon!" William suddenly yelled, his voice echoing throughout the large home. The ceiling was really tall; it could fit about seven or so Ryan's on top of each other. "Get your ass out here! We have visitors!" he nearly squealed, dropping the keys into a glass dish on a table near the door. 

"I'll be down in a few minutes; show them around!" A voice called back, coming from the second floor, making Ryan's head fall back so his eyes would wander up. He couldn't see stairs, but he could see a railing to the second floor that stuck out about half way over the living room; bearing more furniture in a living-room like set up. Only, that seemed to be some bright neon color, maybe pink, instead of the cool, relaxing colors the main living room was dressed in. 

"Hurry up!" Will called up to the voice before rolling his eyes and looking back at the other three. "He's probably making a mess of his room trying to find something to wear. He gets all picky when he's meeting someone new and tends to act like a woman in a mall, having to try on absolutely _everything_." he smiled, brushing his hair from his face. 

"You two have so much in common!" Spencer teased Ryan, lightly nudging him with his elbow. Ryan loosely backhanded Spencer then went back to being lost in the beauty of the music collection. Really, it was gorgeous. From what Ryan could read too, they were a lot of bands he liked. "Seriously, stop looking at the CDs like you want to sleep with them." Spencer waved his hand in front of Ryan's face.

"That's nothing." Will smiled, Spencer drawing his attention to Ryan's dreamy look. Jon laughed to himself, wandering over to the window to scope out the land for opportune photo areas. His camera was like Ryan's music; pure, blissful, love. "I'll show you Brendon's favorite room, which is probably the one place he actually spends hours in when he's stuck inside from heavy storms or something." That peeked Ryan's interest because, what can be more amazing than a wall of a hundred, no, definitely more, CDs of music he himself listens to? 

"Music is Ryan's kryptonite." Spencer told William with a smile as he watched Jon take heavy interest in the scenery. He knew that one of Jon's bags was entirely stuff related to his camera, Spencer had to fit some of Jon's clothes in with his own, and he liked that his boyfriend had such interest in the subject. He knew Jon was trying to get his own studio going and Hawaii was really good for making a portfolio. 

"Brendon's too," Bill said, giving Spencer that gaze Ryan had long ago learned was a plotting kind of look. He didn't want to know what they were deciding on, though he had a guess, and went back to trying to read each of the CDs; too afraid to approach them as though he wasn't 'worthy'. "Brendon's got this room in the back entirely dedicated to his music." That definitely pulled Ryan's attention back to the tall, thin man standing with them. "I can show you, if you want?" 

"Yes, please." Ryan instantly spat out like he was a child near a toy. Spencer rolled his eyes but smiled because at least Ryan's mood was lightened by the fact that Brendon, their still-a-mystery-host, had a deep love for music like his older friend did. 

"Awesome. Hey Jon; you know, you can go out back if you want and explore. B's backyard is ridiculously large with a bunch of native plants I can't pronounce for the life of me." Jon's eyes widened some with excitement as he nodded, coming back to the small group of people and grabbing Spencer's wrist, pulling him towards the sliding glass doors at the other side of the room that Will had pointed towards. Spencer opened his mouth to protest because he wanted to see more of the house, but wasn't really in the mood to sleep alone so he just shut it again and stumbled along. "Um, so, the music room is," Bill stopped to think for a moment, "in the back of the house which is around the corner and down the hall." 

"You don't know where it is?" Ryan asked with a bit of a frown to Will's hesitation. 

"I don't go there often because Brendon is always dragging me through the islands," he said, still smiling. It annoyed Ryan, really; the constant happy expression. Can't he be miserable like Ryan for a minute? 

"Sure Brendon won't get upset about you showing me his music room?" Ryan asked, sure that Brendon was probably defensive of it if he had an entire _room_ dedicated to the subject. He hadn't even met their host yet and already decided they would probably be good friends for the next two weeks; if for no other reason than the love of music. 

"I don't much care if he is," Will said with a smirk. "B trusts me and I'm sure you wouldn't destroy anything anyway." Ryan's head whipped back and forth. To bring harm to anything related to the music industry, instrument, CD, player, or otherwise, was like murder to Ryan. Simply unacceptable. "Exactly." Bill reached out and grabbing Ryan's hand suddenly, their bony fingers brushing against each other momentarily as Will locked his around Ryan. "And what he doesn't know won't kill him." Ryan failed in hiding the tiny smile that came to his lips because William seemed very defiant of his friend though considerate at the same time. He reminded Ryan of a mixture of Spencer and Jon; Spencer being defiant and Jon being considerate. Bill was also a little bit of crazy. 

He pulled Ryan through the remainder of the living room space and around the corner to a large open kitchen just as amazing. The counters were marble, an island in the middle, and an oven standing-height so you don't have to bend over. It really was a model home. They continued down the hall, Ryan trying but failing to get his hand from William just because he was invading his _space_ , passing doors that Ryan couldn't help but be curious as to what they held. Like most all people, Ryan too had a sense of curiosity that tended to come out from time to time. "Hold on;" Will suddenly stopped in front of a door with a little pad of numbers next to it. "I have to remember the pass code."

"He locks it?" Ryan asked, a little more in love, because he would do the same thing. Brendon might be a music god in Ryan's eyes. He wasn't that bad looking from what Ryan saw on the beach earlier either. 

"Yeah," Will said, biting his lip in concentration. "It's a really special room and Brendon doesn't want just anyone to end up in there and like destroy anything." he instantly beamed and pressed the buttons, the little red light turning off as a green one turned on, the door unlocking. "If you ask me, installing this was a bit extreme," he pointed to the pad as the door clicked unlocked, "But there's also a lot of money in here so I guess it's worth it; not that anyone around here steals." 

William pulled back the door, holding it open with his foot as he reached around for the light, allowing Ryan inside once it was illuminated. Ryan walked inside and nearly cried because _seriously_ , it was kind of orgasmic. There were a variety of guitars hanging carefully on the wall, a few bearing scribbled signatures that Ryan couldn't quite make out, each in practical perfect condition. There was a baby grand piano, a couple of basses on the wall opposite the guitar, an accordion, a keyboard, a special computer made for music, a microphone, and even a drum set. "Brendon can't play the drums. I have no idea why they're here." Will smiled, leaning against the wall as Ryan acted much like a kid in a store filled with sugary goodness. It was honestly the best thing Ryan had ever seen in his life. "It's like his own mini studio." Ryan was hesitant to walk any further. "He plays around with stuff all the time."

"It's beautiful..." Ryan barely spoke, hands tugging lightly at the ends of the scarf wrapped around his neck to keep himself from reaching out to touch. That's disrespectful. 

"Thanks." Ryan jumped as a voice that wasn't William suddenly filled the little room, turning around quickly as his heart raced to see a man standing in the doorway with a smile. It was the surfer; Brendon. The music-god of the house. He had medium brown hair, large brown eyes, a distinct jaw line, soft looking pink lips that-no, Ryan wasn't going to think about that. "You must be one of the new friends William was telling me about." Ryan nodded, not even realizing it. He was a little lost, staring at Brendon, thinking a variety of things. Definitely nothing perverted. "I'm Brendon." A hand was extended to Ryan for the most common greeting known to man beside 'hello'. 

"R-Ryan." he stuttered, prying a hand from his thin scarf to shake Brendon's hand. As Ryan's new music-god/idol, it was like he was meeting a rock star and was doing his best not to freak out. Ryan had no idea why he felt that way; probably because of Brendon's seemingly vast love of music. 

"Aren't there two more, Bilvy?" Brendon shook Ryan's hand, smiling still, before looking to Will who had obtained that plotting look in his eyes again. 

"Backyard." William replied, titling his head a bit. Brendon nodded then turned back to Ryan.

"I'm sorry if I...Will just told me about this room and...I love music and saw your CDs..." Ryan couldn't manage to get a complete sentence out for the life of him. He really just wanted to take one of the guitars from the wall and let his fingers curve around the neck, slide along the strings, gently strum a sweet melody...

"Nah, its fine." Brendon smiled, sticking his hands into the pockets of his jeans, leaning a shoulder against the wall. "Anyone who has a passion for music is more than welcome in here." Ryan nodded, for what reason he wasn't sure of. He was kind of really infatuated with Brendon; mostly for his music collection. But his body wasn't all that bad. Though Ryan pretty much analyzed that earlier on the beach. He just had a better look now. A more detailed look.

Brendon, like Ryan, and even William, was rather over thin. He wore a plain white tank top (that Ryan definitely didn't want to pull up and see if Brendon had the six-pack he was trying not to imagine) and jeans that cut off just past Brendon's knees. There was a tattoo of piano keys stretching up Brendon's forearm, his feet bare, he was inside after all, and a macramé necklace around his neck with a little seashell in the middle. "So, Ryan, you play anything?" Brendon spoke so casually, like he and Ryan had known each other for years, that Ryan almost didn't know how to respond. William was the same way.

"Uh, yeah." Ryan nodded some more, his neck starting to hurt. "I play guitar a bit." Brendon nodded that time, smiling even more. "You play all of these?" he asked, looking around again just to engrave the glorious site into his mind.

"Not so much the drums, but yeah." Brendon walked farther inside, heading towards the piano off to the side and lifting the protective wooden cover up to reveal the shiny white and black keys. "Some more than others. My favorites are guitar and piano." Brendon's fingers suddenly started dancing across the keys, quick but smooth and flawless, a sweet tune flowing out. 

"Show off." William teased, rolling his eyes at Brendon's playing. Ryan hadn't heard anyone play that good since high school; and that had been his professional music teacher who was wasting her life teaching instead of making money performing. "How about you go greet our other guests?" he suggested as Brendon started to get wrapped up in what he was doing. There was no way he was trying to impress Ryan because damn, the mainlander was kinda really hot. 

"Hmmm?" Brendon stopped and turned towards William who gave him a serious look, thumb bent towards the door. "Oh, right, your friends." he turned back towards Ryan and smiled. "Shall we?" Brendon smiled and waited for Ryan to respond. Ryan stared for a moment, lost in his own world, before snapping back and noticing Brendon staring at him with a bit of a detailed look. He blushed and nodded, throat refusing to work, Brendon saying, "Awesome." Brendon pulled the protective wood over the keys again then went to the door, stepping back into the hall with Ryan following, sad to leave his new favorite place in the world, William following them out and shutting the door. "So, you're here for two weeks or something I think Bill said?" Brendon asked as he led the way back towards Jon and Spencer.

"Yeah. Two weeks." Ryan kept his responses short until his mind got over the fact that Brendon loved music and music is like Ryan's blood so that he could actually hold conversation. Proper conversation. 

"Well if you ever want to jam, just come on over." Brendon gave Ryan a bit of a suggestive look, walking backwards through his home, jerking his head so his long bangs flew out of his face to really show his sparkling brown eyes and somewhat goofy grin. "I'd love to hear you play sometime, if you don't mind."

"I uh...we're...maybe." Ryan decided, once again holding onto the ends of his scarf, following Brendon; glancing over the other mans shoulder occasionally to make sure he wasn't about to walk into anything. 

"When's everyone else supposed to get here?" Bill asked, glancing at the clock in the kitchen as they passed. "It's almost eight and it's starting to get dark."

"Anytime, really." Brendon answered, eyes lingering on Ryan a moment later before turning around to stroll through the house. On the way back was when Ryan noticed the stairs; the wooden steps turning at a ninety degree angle to the second floor that wasn't visible to him. Brendon headed for the glass doors where Ryan could see his friends wandering through the back, Jon practically dragging Spencer, opening it up. "After you," he said with a smile, ushering Ryan through. 

There was no doubt that it would be a very long night.

■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□

Ryan sat awkwardly on a chair in the backyard, watching everyone laugh and talk to each other about things he was clueless on. They all knew each other; though that didn't stop Jon and especially Spencer, from inserting themselves into conversations with all of Brendon's friends. There was, if Ryan remembered right, Alex, Nate, Travis, Andy, Ryland, someone named 'The Butcher' (that kind of scared Ryan), Suarez (who was also really named Alex), and Sisky. Brendon greeted them all with hugs, offering them all beers, and chatting a bit before wandering off. Ryan's mind was back in the music room. 

"Hey Ryro!" Spencer, who Ryan could tell was partially drunk, came over and flopped down in his lap. Ryan winced, not because Spencer is incredibly heavy or anything, but because there was force behind the action and Ryan's practically just bones in a casing of pale skin. "Brendon totally agreed to show us around and everything while we're here! Isn't that awesome?!"

"Amazing, Spin," Ryan said a little emotionlessly, gently pushing Spencer away because he didn't want to smell the alcohol on his friend's breath. It's not that Ryan doesn't drink; he's just afraid he'll drink too much to get himself really pissed and do something he'll regret in the morning. Spencer hummed then dropped his head on Ryan's shoulder, still clutching the green glass bottle half full in his hand. 

"So, what do you think of Brendon, Ryan Ross?" Spencer asked, using Ryan's almost-full name for whatever reason. But Ryan hates his first name so yeah, it was his full in his opinion. 

"He's nice and has amazing taste and talent in music." Ryan answered, trying to keep that dreamy look away from his face. Not so much over Brendon himself, though he was a factor, but overall the guitars that Ryan wanted to try out so desperately. 

"That all?" Spencer lifted his head from Ryan's shoulder to look at his older friend again, a somewhat disappointed look on his face. "You don't think he's ridiculously adorable or stunningly hot?" 

"Do you?" Ryan asked, his tone a little playful and eyebrows raised slightly, used to Spencer being on him now that his legs were rather numb and feeling less. 

"Well yeah." he confessed, drinking a bit more of his alcoholic beverage. "Not like Jon hot or anything but definitely a nice body and everything." Ryan smiled at his friends words because in the end, Spencer could most always get Ryan to smile, years of practice behind them. Jon wandered over and gave Ryan his infamous 'oh really?' look which consisted of a smirk and a raised eyebrow, one hand in his pants and the other holding his drink. "Ryro doesn't like Brendon, Jwalk." Spencer decided to hack their names.

"I never said that." Ryan frowned, looking up at Jon with that 'help?' kind of look. Jon nodded and removed the hand from his pants, bending a bit to take Spencer's hand. 

"Leave Ryan alone, Spence," Jon said, pulling Spencer back up. 

"But he's supposed to think Brendon's super hot and go fuck him and forget about Pete and be all happy again!" Spencer whined, falling against Jon while Ryan choked a little. That was quite a scenario Spencer had developed. Jon looked to Ryan with that 'I'm sorry' kind of look he had mastered long ago when he first started dating Spencer and realized that the younger man sometimes spoke too quickly. 

"I hope no one scared you away." Brendon suddenly showed up, holding two unopened beers. "I told them all to be social with you guys but some things are easier said than done." he laughed lightly, offering one of the drinks in his hand to Ryan. 

"No thanks." Ryan declined, feeling a little nauseous about being around Brendon now because of what Spencer had said; even if it was his own little fantasy or whatever. Sure, a thought or two along those lines had come to Ryan's mind, but he didn't even really know Brendon other than the fact he was hot and had the same love and taste in music. And that he loved the water. Ryan didn't know Brendon's last name or age or birthday or anything. If it was just a one-night-I'll-never-see-you-again kind of thing than yeah, that'd be just fine. But Spencer had decided they were going to spend the next two weeks with the extravagant Hawaiian not to mention William knew where they lived and everything. Plus, Ryan was still getting over Pete. He was wearing the damn ring, after all. 

"Well there's water or soda or something if you don't drink." Brendon tried, wanting to get to know Ryan more, learning that the man wasn't as open as his two friends were. Will didn't mention that. 

"He's just being a prick." Spencer frowned, leaning against Jon. "You know, we do have that bet, Ryan."

"Denying a drink doesn't mean I'm not having a good time," Ryan said, looking back to Spencer.

"Are you?" Brendon asked, hopeful that he wasn't a complete bore or anything. Ryan bit his lip, not wanting to offend Brendon, but not really wanting to lie either. No, he wasn't having all that great of a time; but then again, he wasn't really trying either. He had planted himself on the chair early in the evening and just hasn't really left it. Jon wrapped an arm around Spencer to hold him up because maybe Spencer had more to drink than Ryan expected. 

"I think it's time we leave," he said, looking back towards Spencer to avoid whatever emotion overcame Brendon's eyes. "Spence has had enough to drink and I don't want him to throw up anywhere or anything."

"Nothing I haven't dealt with before." Brendon lightly joked, laughing lightly. Ryan's face just remained blank, silently asking Jon to back him up.

"I can take Spence home, you know, so you don't have to leave." Jon suggested, apparently having been in on Spencer's whole plan to get Ryan with Brendon. Ok, maybe Jon just wanted Ryan to have a good time for at least one night, but no one needed to know that small detail. 

"Yeah but-"

"Really, Ryan." Jon cut him off, giving him a bit of a stern look. "You can stay. I can figure out a way to get Spencer back to the hotel because yes, he has had enough to drink."

"But I'm still thirsty," Spencer said, emptying the glass in his hand.

"Then you can have water." Jon answered him. "Do you think someone can give us a ride back to the hotel?" he asked Brendon, stretching his fingers to take the bottle from Spencer by the neck. 

"Of course," Brendon said with a smile and a little nod. "I'm sure Bilvy wouldn't mind."

"Everyone's been drinking." Ryan interjected because there's no way he's letting his friends get killed in a stupid drunk driving accident. "I think a cab or something would be best."

"Bilvy really doesn't drink." Brendon looked back down to the man on the chair. "Gabe, his boyfriend, kinda, usually gets totally wasted in bars and stuff so Bill's used to having to bring him back home and just kind of adopted the job of designated driver. He's always running people home." 

"That'd be great," Jon said, Spencer pulling away from Jon to sit back down on Ryan's lap. Ryan sighed in defeat and leaned back, hand pressed against Spencer's shoulder to keep him away from him some, biting the inside of his lip. 

"I'll go find him." Brendon turned and headed back towards the crowd of people, leaving the three tourists alone to the side once more. 

"You can try," Jon said, looking down at Ryan with a frown. "Ignore Spencer. He's an idiot."

"Hey!" Spencer frowned at Jon, pouting. "You were totally thinking it too Jonathan Walker." 

"Yeah but I didn't specify a person." Jon answered, finishing the last of his beer before Brendon returned. "We want you to have a good time, Ryan. And before you start arguing, you have to actually try instead of secluding yourself like you did back home. No one knows you here; you can be whoever you want and start all over again. At least for two weeks." 

"I'm not going to lie to someone to get them into bed." Ryan defensively snapped. "I didn't want to come here but you two basically dragged me so I'm going to be as miserable as I damn well please. You both need to just leave me alone and worry about yourselves." he shoved Spencer from his lap to the ground. Jon scowled at Ryan then helped his boyfriend up. "Brendon's really nice and yeah, I love his music assortment, his instruments are gorgeous, but he's a complete stranger who I just met so excuse me for being apprehensive of him or something. I mean, he can be a mass murderer or something! All his friend seem to do is drink and why the fuck does he have this huge ass house if he doesn't ever stay here?! Stop trying to get us in bed or whatever you're trying because it won't ever happen! Sure, he's nice and cute, but he tries way too hard and makes him seem desperate. I see the way he looks at me, ok?! I see your looks and Will's looks and I just want you all to stop!" 

"The house was left to me." A quiet, almost sad, voice drifted to Ryan when he finished practically yelling at his friends. He looked away from the pair to see Brendon standing there, eyes hurt, with William standing silently beside him. "It was my grandmas, built by my grandpa, and they left it to me when they died. I just never had the heart to sell it." He avoided looking Ryan in the eyes, making Ryan feel really bad about what he said. 

"Ryan didn't-"

"No, it's ok. He didn't know." Brendon feigned a smile as he looked to Jon and Spencer. "Bilvy said he'll take you guys back and I'll see you tomorrow at say, ten?" 

"Yeah," Spencer said, drunk but mad at Ryan for what he loudly verbalized, especially with Brendon right there. It didn't take long for their host to find William but no one could get a word in if they tried. 

"Cool. Thanks for coming and have a good night." Brendon beamed a little more, seemingly forgetting the little explosion from Ryan. "I hope you don't get sick or anything, Spencer."

"He'll be fine." Jon smiled, patting Spencer's back. 

"Shall we?" William quietly spoke, turning towards the door.

"Are you staying, Ryan?" Brendon asked, still avoiding direct eye contact. Ryan knows he hurt Brendon but really doesn't know what to say to make him feel better. Nothing's really worked right for awhile now. 

"I...I think I should probably...go..." Ryan said, pushing himself from the chair and adjusting his scarf which really didn't need to be touched at all. It was more of a nervous habit thing. "Thanks...for inviting us..." Brendon nodded, hands shoved in his pockets again, still smiling. No one but William knew how fake it was. 

"It was my pleasure," Brendon said lightly. Ryan couldn't move for a moment, but eventually was able to get his legs to work. His body was against him; it wanted to stay. But he wanted to leave. "You're welcome here any time." Brendon called after Ryan as he followed the other three inside. Ryan looked back to Brendon and just briefly nodded, keeping his head down as he walked through the large house towards the front where the others disappeared too. 

The ride back was dark and silent except for Spencer's occasional mumble about one thing or another, the air really cold against Ryan's body but he ignored it; welcomed the numbing feeling it brought. Will didn't take his eyes from the road the entire time, stopping in front of the doors to the hotel they were staying at. Ryan undid his seatbelt as did Jon and Spencer, going to climb out when William put his hand on Ryan's to stop him. "Brendon's life may look easy, but it's not all it's cracked up to be." 

"I didn't say-"

"I don't know if you meant what you said or not, but just so you know, if you ever say anything like that around him or me or any of our friends, you'll be sorry." Will warned Ryan, Spencer stumbling as Jon helped him towards the door. Ryan didn't like being threatened, but liked that William was standing up for his friend. "Brendon secludes himself by constantly doing something so he doesn't have to think about his life. It's not that different from what you do; his time is just more productive. He doesn't usually let anyone into that music room but me because it's practically his life."

"You let me in, not him." Ryan pointed out a little angrily, wanting to go to sleep and forget the day. 

"But he didn't kick you out," William said quietly. "I know I don't really know you or anything, but if you're set on nothing happening, not that it should, make sure you both know that so neither of you gets hurt. It's been awhile since Brendon's shown interest in anyone so he just needs to be reminded sometimes that just because he likes you doesn't mean you like him like that back."

"How do you know he likes me?" Ryan asked, standing on the ground now. Will smiled and shifted the car back into drive, shifting his long legs a little.

"Brendon's my best friend; he can be quiet with his eyes shut and I'll know exactly what he's thinking." Ryan frowned but knew what Bill meant because Spencer, maybe even Jon now, seem to do the same exact things with him. Ryan's never really been much of a people person so it takes him a bit. "Have a good night, Ryan." Will smiled before driving off, leaving Ryan all alone. 

Ryan watched him disappear before turning to go inside, sighing and keeping his head low. He really didn't mean to upset Brendon, it's just tough for him to open up to anyone new when everything still hurts inside from Pete. He thumbed the ring around his finger as he walked to his room, praying that dreamless sleep would come to him quickly.


	4. Day Three

**Day Three**

"Spin's sick," Jon said, leaning against the door and frowning at Ryan. "He spent all night throwing up and now has a hangover from hell which he deserves for drinking so much." Jon turned his head towards the beds and spoke loudly, earning a groan of complaint from his boyfriend. "I don't think he'll be able to do much today, Ry."

"What about Brendon?" Ryan asked with a hint of annoyance, arms locked in a folded position over his chest as he glared at the slightly older man. "He'll be here soon expecting to do shit with us."

"You can still go with him." Jon smiled, his eyes sparkling with a hinting shine. Ryan glared harder, the corners of his mouth pulling farther towards the floor. "I'm sure Spence will be fine tomorrow so we can go then but today he's basically confined to the bed. Don't keep your miserable self inside all day, Ryan. Hang out with Brendon. He seems nice enough."

"Fine." Ryan didn't feel like arguing because he was tired, having been up tossing and turning all night. "I hate you, Spencer Smith!" he yelled into the room, looking over Jon's shoulder. "You owe me big!"

"Love you too," Spencer called back, voice groggy and blank. "George." he added, just to make Ryan mad.

"Have fun with Brendon," Jon said. "You deserve a distraction from your life; even if only for today."

"It'll be your fault when they find my mangled, murdered body being pecked at by seagulls on the beach." Ryan bitterly told Jon, making him laugh.

"See you tonight, Ry," Jon said before shutting the door, leaving Ryan all alone in the hall. He didn't fully buy the 'Spencer's Sick' excuse. They just wanted Ryan to be alone with Brendon, determined to make the two a couple. Ryan didn't come to Hawaii to find his next heartbreak though; he came because he was pretty much forced to. Jon and Spencer probably just wanted to fuck all day and therefore found a single, cute, local to dump Ryan on for the day.

Sighing, Ryan left them alone and headed down the hallway towards the lobby to wait for Brendon who, for his own sake, better be on time. If he's not, Ryan will only make the day more miserable. Unfortunately, when Ryan walked into the open space of seating and windows, roughly quarter to ten, Brendon was already there; leaning against the desk and talking happily to the woman behind it. Ryan didn't know what bothered him more; Brendon already there or the face that Brendon was just as happy as ever. They both annoyed him though. The early part because it was bonus points towards the native. Ryan took a deep breath and dropped his arms, heading for the desk with the least miserable face he could manage. Brendon was agreeing to show them around regardless of his other obligations therefore Ryan at least owed it to him to _try_ and be happy.

"Ryan!" Brendon merrily greeted him upon sighting Ryan. He had sunglasses on top of his head, a green shirt with some sort of surfing logo, baggy tan capri's, and flip flops for today's outfit; still wearing the shell necklace as well as a variety of bands around one arm. "Aloha, my mainland friend." Brendon smiled brightly, making Ryan cringe.

"Morning," he said in response. Brendon pushed off the desk, uncrossing his ankles, and headed towards Ryan.

"Where are Spencer and Jon?" Brendon asked, glancing past Ryan towards the hall of rooms. It wasn't a big hotel but it was nice.

"They can't, uh, make it." Ryan told him, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Spencer's not feeling good; drank too much last night I guess."

"That sucks," Brendon said whilst frowning. "I can come back tomorrow if you'd rather."

"No, it's okay." Ryan spoke faster than he would have liked, Brendon's lips starting to turn to a smile again. "I could hang with you for the day...if you'd like..." he tried to keep his voice level and as interested as he could, not wanting to sound forced.

"Sure." Brendon shrugged, hooking his thumbs over the top of his pants. "If you want to, that is."

"Yeah." Ryan nodded, swallowing hard. He could do this; he could survive a day with an overly happy man. "I want to."

"Cool," Brendon said before there was a small moment of awkward silence. "Have you eaten?" Ryan shook his head, encouraging Brendon's peppy attitude even more. "Well I know this great little diner we could grab some breakfast or whatever at."

"Sounds good," Ryan said with as much enthusiasm as he could force out, managing a small smile. Brendon hummed a bit to himself as though he was contemplating something before starting towards the doors; Ryan following a moment later once he realized that Brendon was gone. "So...I guess we should...get to know each other more?" Ryan suggested as they walked through the lobby, a few other tourists passing through as well.

"If you want to," Brendon said, flicking his sunglasses down over his eyes and pushing the door open, holding it for Ryan. "My name's Brendon Urie, I'm twenty-four, an Aries, love to surf, can kick anyone's ass at beach volleyball, can play almost any instrument, can sing better than most people I've met, I spend my free time showing tourists such as yourself around, absolutely love Disney, attended college for the hell of it, have a masters in shit you won't care about, and for some strange reason I'm still single." Ryan couldn't help but laugh a little because Brendon spoke so easily and smoothly about himself; almost in a mocking tone. "I also tried feeding a fish a peanut butter sandwich once."

"Why?" Ryan asked as he followed Brendon towards the recognizable death trap vehicle.

"Haven't you ever seen 'Lilo and Stitch'?" Brendon asked, flip flops smacking against the pavement. Ryan was silent for a moment, a little preoccupied studying Brendon's tanned body. "Well Lilo, the little girl, would always bring this fish she named Pudge a peanut butter sandwich because Pudge controls the weather." Ryan snorted (unintentionally) with laughter. "I know it sounds stupid but I didn't want it to rain that day." Brendon smiled as he climbed into the driver's seat. "Oh come on; you've had to of done idiotic things before."

"Yeah," Ryan said, getting into the passenger seat, a little more confident than the previous night. "I fell in love with an asshole and almost married him," he said quietly, no longer smiling as he buckled up. Brendon stared at Ryan through the tinted lenses before shoving the keys into the ignition; the ring full of random toys that distracted Ryan momentarily.

"The world's full of assholes," he said, buckling then backing up. "That's why I love Hawaii."

"There has to be assholes here too," Ryan said, hands wrapped around the safety device.

"There are." Brendon turned the wheel, shifting the vehicle into drive and heading towards the road. "But Hawaii has things that not everywhere else does to deal with assholes."

"Like what?" Ryan asked, shutting his eyes from the wind because Brendon drove faster than Will did.

"Volcanoes," Brendon said, reaching down between the two seats and extracting a pair of white-framed sunglasses, which he offered to Ryan. "Hawaii is a collection of islands; this one doesn't allow assholes." Ryan accepted the glasses and slid them on, his eyes instantly grateful to be protected from the sun and wind. "So Ryan, anything I should know about you now that you know more about me than you wanted?"

"My last name is Ross, I'm a Virgo, I'm twenty-five, I like to play guitar, and I went to college to be an English teacher which is what I do back in Vegas," Ryan said, figuring the little information wouldn't do any harm. It wasn't his address or phone number or anything. Hell, Brendon didn't even know Ryan was his middle name. "And I'm sure I could kick your ass at beach volleyball." he smiled because for whatever reason, he just couldn't find the strength to be miserable.

"Is that a challenge?" Brendon asked, one eyebrow rose, as he flew along the roads. Ryan was still afraid of falling out; especially since Brendon liked going fast.

"Afraid you'll lose?" Ryan asked with a bit of taunting in his voice.

"No one's ever beat me before," Brendon said, the wind streaming through his hair. "I'm invincible."

"I'm not no one," Ryan said, still challenging Brendon. It would give him a reason to gloat because he's unusually good at the sport. It definitely wasn't because he wanted to see if he could Brendon shirtless.

"No," Brendon laughed, turning into the drive to the small building, "you certainly aren't."

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"So what do you think of Hawaii?" Brendon asked, sitting across from Ryan in the little diner.

"It's nice, I guess." Ryan shrugged, lightly sipping on his drink because Brendon decided that smoothies were a morning drink. It was colorful and had a little umbrella along with a chunk of pineapple on a toothpick. He was half expecting a coconut, really. "I've only been here, what? Two days?"

"So?" Brendon gave a small laugh, sunglasses atop his head again, one arm along the top of the booth-bench and legs crossed beneath the table. "It took me roughly two hours to decide what I thought of Vegas the one time I ventured out there."

"And?" Ryan curiously inquired, relaxed around the still-somewhat-stranger.

"Worst place I've ever been." Ryan laughed that time. "Far too busy and crowded. The lights were pretty though."

"You were on the strip," Ryan said, hands resting in his lap, playing with the sunglasses Brendon gave him to wear. "Of course it's super busy there. Everyone's looking to gamble and destroy their lives. They don't call it the 'city of sin' for nothing, you know."

"Well there wasn't anywhere to surf." Brendon stated, frowning a little.

"Ocean's tend to avoid the middle of continents," Ryan said with some amusement as well as sarcasm. "You could have tried surfing on the sand though; there's plenty of that." Brendon lightly snorted, playfully shoving Ryan's leg with his foot as though the two had been friends forever; and for some reason, Ryan was ok with that. He really hated Spencer and Jon now because they had been right; again. Ryan resents that. "How'd you meet William then if you love Hawaii so much?"

"Believe it or not, Bill grew up here," Brendon said with a soft, reminiscing smile. "He's always been my best friend. It was about four years ago I think that Gabe ended up here for some family event and they ran into each other. Will says it was love at first sight, that he belongs with Gabe, so when Gabe left, Bilvy did." his voice quieted a bit with sadness. "He comes to visit a couple times each year though."

"From what he told me, he and Gabe have an interesting relationship." Ryan didn't want silence to overcome the situation. That and Brendon looked really sad when he was sad; like puppy dog said with droopy eyes and a frown that begged for a hug and-yeah, you get it. Brendon laughed weakly, rolling his eyes.

"I've yet to figure that one out," he said. "Bill knows what Gabe does when he's not around, but doesn't seem to mind. He won't touch another person though, regardless of what he may have told you. William's hopelessly devoted to Gabe who's like thirty now; William being twenty-five like yourself." Ryan's eyebrows rose a bit. That was an age difference. Pete was only twenty-seven, almost twenty-eight. "I worry about him, you know?" Brendon removed his arm from the bench and played with the umbrella in his drink. "Bilvy's strong, but he's a little impressionable and all Gabe likes to do is party, drink, and fuck; sorry if that offends you or anything." He looked up to Ryan with shame. Ryan just smiled and shook his head; he's heard and said the word plenty of times before. "I love him like a brother."

"That's how Spin and I work." Ryan nodded with understanding. "That's why I hated Jon at first; it was like he was taking Spencer away from me. But Jon's a really good guy and good friend of mine now."

"Gabe's my friend and everything," Brendon said as though he made it sound like he despised the man. There was some silence after that; both looking at the table, window, anywhere but each other. "Can I ask you a personal question? You don't have to answer."

"I guess," Ryan said, a little afraid of what Brendon would ask.

"I know it's not my business or anything, we still don't really know each other, but why do you wear the ring if you never got married?" Ryan's breath caught in his throat, his thumb instantly going to the gold band and turning it. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have asked. I can be really stupid some-"

"No, it's okay," Ryan cut him off quietly. "It's my own fault. I wear it but I'm obviously lacking someone wearing the other." he continued to play with the ring, staring at the table, telling himself not to cry. "I honestly don't know why I still wear it. I guess...I just haven't been able to convince myself to take it off. It all seems so...unreal still. I mean, I was supposed to get married like a week ago." Ryan laughed dryly, mainly to fool himself into believing the situation wasn't horrible.

"This is probably over stepping boundaries, but, you can't let go or move on if you still wear that." Brendon carefully spoke, trying not to upset Ryan although it didn't work. Ryan got upset anyway; even if Brendon was right.

"That is over stepping boundaries," he coldly replied. "My life is my business." Ryan looked up at Brendon. "I don't ask you why your obnoxiously wealthy grandparents left everything to you instead of your parents or something or why you never take off that necklace since there are tan lines around it." Again Brendon's face fell as Ryan harshly spoke to him; Ryan instantly regretting opening his mouth as Brendon looked almost ready to cry. "Fuck; I'm sorry."

"The necklace was my mothers, given to her by my father as an engagement present, because the shell stands for true love." he reached towards his neck and grabbed a hold of it. "The house was left to me because my parents were killed in a car crash when I was four and living with them in Florida. My grandparents raised my sister and I here in Hawaii." Ryan bit his tongue before he said anything else stupid. "I wear the necklace to remind myself that true love does exist out there for everyone if we just believe."

"I'm really sorry." Ryan practically whispered, voice drowning in regret. "I feel like I should go walk into a volcano or something now."

"Why?" Brendon dropped his hand back down.

"Because I'm an asshole," he said, leaning back and sighing.

"No you're not." Brendon smiled a little again. "You're just feeling a lot of pain right now. I've had twenty years to come to terms with my parents deaths; you've had a week."

"Yeah but Pete didn't exactly die."

"Doesn't mean you can't be as upset." Ryan shut his eyes and exhaled slowly because Brendon was really too good to be true. Twice now Ryan's really upset him, in a span of twenty four hours, not even, yet Brendon still manages to smile and be nothing but kind. "Then again, I've never really been in love."

"Trust me; it's not all that great," Ryan said as the waitress arrived with their food.

"Clearly you and I have different definitions of love." Brendon told Ryan before thanking the waitress. "That or maybe you just fell in love with the wrong person." Ryan scoffed silently, opening his eyes and grabbing a fork, staring at the stack of pancakes. He's not a big eater. "So," Brendon exhaled and smiled more, starting fresh again, "Ever been surfing?"

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"The key is obviously to keep your balance." Brendon stood on the long board, facing Ryan, legs spread and body turned. "To do so, you have to move along with the water and guide the board." Ryan stood a few feet away in the sand, arms crossed over his chest and the borrowed sunglasses over his face as the warm afternoon sun shone down.

"I can't keep my balance in the sand," Ryan said with a slight frown. "There's no way I'll be able to on water."

"Well at first you'll fall all the time." Brendon dropped his arms back to his sides. "But when you get the hang of it then it's rather easy." he stepped off the board and into the sand. "You try."

"On the sand?" Ryan raised an eyebrow. "I'll look like a retard."

"It's ten times harder to do it on the water if you don't know what you're doing," Brendon said, beckoning Ryan towards him and the two boards laying in the warm sand. "I give lessons and I have people who think they can manage by just going out. All they do is basically drown themselves. Now come here." Ryan sighed but gave in, walking slowly towards Brendon with a small scowl. "Now, shoes off and on the board."

"I don't like water," he mumbled, bending down to undo his sandals.

"If William can do it, anyone can," Brendon said with a joking tone, watching Ryan.

"I heard that!" Will called from farther up the beach where he sat beneath a large umbrella, phone in hand, texting Gabe. Brendon had taken Ryan to the little private section of beach down the hill from his backyard and William decided to just tag along with them.

"Okay; stand like I was." Brendon instructed Ryan as the older boy got onto the board, the surface sleek with wax. He spread his legs a bit, sticking his arms lazily out, an annoyed look on his face. "Almost." Brendon smiled, stepping closer to Ryan. He put his hands on Ryan's hips, turning him a little more, Ryan trying his hardest not to blush. Next, Brendon bent down, Ryan cheeks really trying to burn, and grabbed Ryan's left ankle to pull it forward so his legs spread more.

"Way to frisk him, B!" Bill called with a smile as Brendon stood back up.

"I'll banish you to the house if you don't stop!" Brendon answered, pointing at Will warningly. "Ignore him," he said to Ryan after. "If you don't want me to touch you then tell me. I just find it easier than repeatedly telling you how to do it because you're obviously not getting it right for a reason."

"I-it's okay," Ryan said, hoping Brendon didn't notice his cheeks that he could feel were red. And he was wearing plenty of sunscreen so it wasn't sunburn.

"This is the easiest stance to control the board with." Ryan nodded, swallowing and shutting his eyes as Brendon put his hands back on Ryan's waist. "This," he lightly shook Ryan, "is where the control is; your core." Again Ryan nodded, not trusting words to come out. "You just bend your knees a little and try to keep your upper body still, using your waist to control the board."

"Not all you use it for." William spoke loud enough for them to hear, bent over the phone again.

"One more comment Bill and you can walk everywhere the remainder of your stay!" Brendon reprimanded him. "I have no idea what his problem today is." Brendon muttered, releasing Ryan (to Ryan's slight disappointment). "Want to try some small waves?" Ryan shook his head. "Come on Ry; the only way you'll learn is to try."

"I never asked to learn," Ryan said, dropping his tired arms and standing straight.

"Surfing's a really good way to relieve stress and clear you mind." Brendon hinted. "At least get a feel for how the board feels against the water."

"I think I should watch you do it first," Ryan tried to save himself. "You know, see exactly how it works."

"I suppose," Brendon said, disappointment filling his face. He reached his hand out and helped Ryan off the board (not that stepping to the side would have been a difficult task), walking alongside him up the beach towards William who's fingers were flying rapidly over the small keypad of his phone.

"Gabey says 'hi'," Will said as they approached, smiling proudly. "He also says not to kill Ryan before you fuck him." Brendon kicked him.

"You're being a brat," Brendon said to his friend as Ryan bit his lip.

"I try," Bill said with a happy grin. He took Brendon's sunglasses as Brendon removed them, sliding them onto his face for 'safe keeping'.

"Sure you don't want to try it?" Brendon asked, peeling off his shirt to reveal the best abs that Ryan had ever seen; defined muscles beneath perfectly tanned skin. Ryan definitely wasn't trying to keep himself from getting hard.

"Y-yeah," Ryan said eventually, mouth dry from hanging open a bit. William smiled to himself and lightly pushed his foot into Ryan's leg to tell him that Ryan was staring and potentially drooling. "I...it'll be better for me to watch..." Ryan's pants helped keep himself. "You know...to see how to do it...right."

"Sure." Brendon smiled, pulling his pants off. "I'll try to stay close enough to shore for you to see." he tossed his clothes behind Will's chair, adjusting his swim trunks which already rested low on his body. "Be nice to him, Bill." Brendon teasingly pushed Will's head to the side, looking back to Ryan. "Anything particular you want to see?"

Ryan had to bite back a comment.

"Uh...whatever you want..." Ryan looked down, nervously clawing at his arms. He shouldn't be having these or any thoughts about Brendon because he hadn't even known him an entire day.

"Tell him that and he'll just show off more," William said with amusement. Brendon shoved Will again as Ryan looked back up. "Brendon's very conceded and loves showing off for the attention." Bill joked.

"Shut your mouth." Brendon told Will, unable to keep himself from laughing. "If he annoys you just smack him." Brendon looked back to Ryan. "Or take away his cellphone." Ryan absently nodded as Brendon ran his hand through his hair.

"Oh just go impress him already." Will frowned, protecting his phone from any possible danger that could prevent him from texting his boyfriend who he was amazed was even up. "Come sit down, Ryan!" he beamed after, patting the chair beside him. Ryan walked through the sand towards the chair and sat down, crossing his ankles, arms hugging himself. Brendon jogged back down towards the water where the boards sat, bending down to grab one, glancing back at Ryan and smiling before stepping into the ocean. "He really likes you."

"Oh...uh..."

"You like him too." Will smiled, glancing away from the screen towards Ryan. "You stare at him, you know. And last night when I got back to the house he kept asking about you."

"R-really?" Ryan refused to look at Will, his cheeks coated in blush because he's never been told someone who likes him asks about him; not that he's ever been told someone liked him. "Why?" his eyes were glued to Brendon who sat on his knees on the board, arms cutting through the water to pull himself farther into the ocean where the waves were bigger.

"He thinks you're cute and smart regardless of what you say to him." Ryan's cheeks got even redder, thinking back to the previous night as well as breakfast where he upset Brendon. "And you love music as much as him which is like an instant connection with him."

"Oh," Ryan said, paying far more attention watching Brendon grow smaller than listening to William talk. Brendon rocked some as small waves moved him, waiting for a larger one to come. Ryan watched how his body bent and moved with the waves, biting the inside of his mouth to keep it closed. He was very happy that neither Spencer nor Jon was there, Spencer more so, to comment.

"And you're pretty into him since again you're staring." Will was almost as bad though. Ryan just hummed, not even hearing Will, watching Brendon ground himself as a larger wave approached, trying to keep his balance on the board. When he made it about halfway on the water, Brendon stood, sliding his feet along the waxed surface, forming his body exactly how he had showed Ryan. "This is how it started with me and Gabe."

"What?" Ryan snapped from his trance and looked at Bill, keeping his head turned enough to still see Brendon. "There's nothing between Brendon and I," he said as firmly as he could, Will scoffing. "He's showing me how to surf right now. He does it all the time, I thought."

"Yeah but he doesn't go shirtless for anyone else." William smiled, tapping a response to Gabe. "He usually wears that body suit." Ryan definitely didn't feel something inside his stomach flutter strangely. "Brendon's trying to impress you because he's into you and wants to at least fuck you if nothing else. He's never really done this before." Will laughed lightly.

"So he's a virgin?" Ryan asked with raised eyebrows.

"Oh god no." William laughed harder. "Brendon's far from virgin." Ryan frowned some at the comment though he's sure it wasn't meant how it sounded. "He's just never done the whole dating thing because he's never really been overly interested in anyone. I've only ever seen him actually do anything with anyone maybe four times, but never has he shown interest like this. And like I said, I had the pleasure of hearing him go on about you all night until I was fortunate enough to pass out." Ryan looked back at Brendon, blushing even more, watching him move so flawlessly on the board as he guided it along the water, looking like there was nowhere else in the universe he belonged.

"He's just being friendly," Ryan said quietly, adjusting the sunglasses on his face even if they weren't in the sun. The ridiculously large umbrella they sat beneath made sure of that.

"Friendly would have been some tours, quick lessons, a couple of polite smiles, and occasional small talk. Trust me, Ryan; Brendon's really into you." Bill looked out to his friend on the water. "It's about time he had someone to be happy with."

"That someone for him to be happy with isn't me." Ryan mumbled as Brendon rode the wave back to the calmness of the ocean.

"It's not if you don't want it to be," William said.

"Or because I'm only here for two weeks." Ryan scoffed.

"So you do want it to be?" Again Will was smirking, looking at Ryan.

"N-no," Ryan said quickly in denial. "I was just s-saying that I leave in...twoish weeks..."

"Yeah I know when you leave." Will rolled his eyes behind the sunglasses, moving them onto his head. "I leave the same time. You don't have to be ashamed or anything to fuck Brendon. When Gabe showed up here, I fell for him. A week later I was on the plane back to Vegas with him, leaving Hawaii and everyone behind." Ryan bit his lip as he watched Brendon come back to shore. "And I've never been happier."

"I'm not you," Ryan said. "Those things don't happen to me."

"It's happening right now!" Will exclaimed, throwing his arm towards the water where Brendon was exiting, shaking his head so he soaked hair sent water flying everywhere, his body dripping wet. "You just don't want it to happen because you're afraid of being vulnerable again." Ryan wanted to say something back but his mind was too busy focusing on the way Brendon's abs moved as he walked, laying the board back in the sand and jogging up the beach; shining in the sunlight. "Just realize that he'll only try for so long. If you're interested, let him know, before it's too late."

"What'd you think?" Brendon asked Ryan, having some difficulties moving through the sand as the little grains clung to him.

"Very nice," Ryan said back with a small smile. "No way I can do that." Ryan sat up as Brendon approached, Brendon bending down and grabbing a towel.

"I've seen better." William teased, grinning at his friend. Brendon dried his hair then threw the towel at Will. "Ryan may be easily entranced but I've seen you do far better." He threw the towel back. "At least Ryan's eyes didn't falter away from you."

"I'd hope not." Brendon looked back at Ryan. It felt like the sun was on Ryan's cheeks. "Best way to learn is to watch, right?" Ryan nodded, gathering himself again. "Do you want to try now?"

"Uh, I should probably go back to the hotel to, you know, get something else on for tonight." Ryan stared at the sand while Will immediately gained heavy interest in the conversation, ignoring his phone as it vibrated in his hand with a message.

"What's tonight?" he asked with a devilish smirk and immense curiosity.

"Ryan thinks he can beat me in beach volleyball," Brendon said while drying the rest of his body. Will looked at Ryan, eyebrows raised, smile near breaking his jaw in half. "We'll find out tonight."

"How do I not know about this?!" Will asked with shock. " _Everyone_ needs to know about this!" he instantly went back to his phone, typing faster than anyone Ryan had ever seen before.

It was going to be another long night.

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Ryan stepped out of the bathroom, towel around his waist and drying his hair with another when he unintentionally screamed upon seeing Spencer and Jon on his bed; legs crossed in a matching pose with identical smirks. "What?" Ryan asked, taking the towel he was drying his hair with to cover his body from slight embarrassment. He has problems with exposing his body to people; even his best friends.

"How was your day?" Spencer asked, grinning so wide it looked strangely like the Joker from Batman.

"I thought you were sick," Ryan said with a frown, staying close against the wall.

"I got better." Spencer dismissed it with a shrug. "So, a day with Brendon; I need the juicy details here, Ryro."

"Stop being a gossip queen." Ryan told him. "How'd you even get into my room? I thought I locked the door..."

"Did you have fun?" Jon asked, hands folded over his bent knee. "You look less miserable."

"What I did today isn't any of your business." he replied, still frowning. "Can you go so I can get dressed?"

"Your pajamas are a pair of boxers and a shirt; just throw them on and spill." Spencer was a little annoyed, apparently completely over his hangover; if he even had one. Ryan knew they just wanted him alone with Brendon in hopes he would fill their crazy sex or whatever fantasies.

"I'm not...getting ready for bed..." Ryan quietly spoke as he cast his eyes to the floor.

"Well where else are-" Spence stopped, eyes widening and jaw dropping a bit. "Do you have a date, Ryan Ross?"

"No!" Ryan quickly replied because it wasn't a date. "I'm going back to the beach."

"At sundown?" Jon inquired, one eyebrow raised up in suspicion. "That's strangely romantic sounding."

"The sunset's pretty," Ryan said with an unconvincing shrug.

"You can easily watch the sunset from here," Spencer said. His face was still over-illuminated. "Seeing Brendon again?" Ryan bit his lip and looked back to the floor. "You are! I knew it! You like him!"

"It's not what you think." Ryan looked up with an aggravated face. "I sorta...challenged him to volleyball..." he played nervously with the towel in his hand now.

"Then why did you come back here to shower?" Spencer asked, uncrossing his legs. "You shouldn't have left him!"

"I had to get out the sand I obtained in my pants earlier." Ryan defended, earning a double-raised eyebrow look from Spencer. He instantly regretted his words. "It's not what you're thinking, Spin!"

"Then pray tell, Ryan, what is it?" he asked, Jon matching his boyfriend’s expression.

"He was teaching me to surf and then-"

"You went _surfing_?!" Spencer's eyebrows were nearly in his hair now. "What the fuck, Ryan? I mean, it's good you're doing shit but you're miserable as hell for awhile and suddenly Brendon comes along and you're all alive again?"

"I thought you wanted me to do shit with Brendon!" Ryan became angry. "He's nice, okay?! He doesn't know every fucking detail of my life and what he does know he doesn't judge or comment on!"

"Spencer's only saying that it's a sudden jump from your previous state last night." Jon defended Spencer.

"Whatever;" Ryan mumbled. "I have to get ready." He turned and disappeared into the bathroom again, shutting the door and hoping his friends would just go away.

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Ryan stood on the beach where he was being given surfing lessons earlier that day, the sun sinking behind the ocean which was calming down for the night, clawing nervously at his forearm as people gathered around the make shift court for his game against Brendon. Music drifted out of two large speakers farther up the beach by the little bar hut aligned with various alcohols now filling everyone’s classic red plastic cups. On the other side of the long woven stood Brendon, shirtless once again, talking to two men Ryan didn’t know as he stretched out his arms and legs. “I’m proud of you, Ryro,” Spencer said as he walked up to Ryan and slung an arm over the man’s shoulders, leaning on him lightly.

“Why?” Ryan asked with a knit brow and small frown, eyes glued unwillingly again on Brendon’s abs. Okay, so it was willingly. Half of his brain wanted to be staring at Brendon’s body, watching every muscle twist and tighten so perfectly. The other half, the more rational side as Ryan liked to believe, told him to avert his eyes before he ended up with an unfortunate problem in the lower part of his body. That and his rational side was fighting the willing half against thoughts of tackling Brendon to the ground to feel his body which was most definitely not something Ryan wanted to do overall.

"Because you initiated social, and in this case physical, contact with another human being!” Spencer smiled. Ryan rolled his eyes and pushed Spencer’s arm away so the cup the younger man was holding wouldn’t slosh alcohol all over him. He hated the smell of alcohol and didn’t want it to linger on his body for hours later. “Sure, you’re going to get your ass kicked, but you’re learning how to be a human being again.”

“Thanks for the support.” Ryan scoffed, a small smile evident on the corners of his mouth. He knew that Spencer didn’t mean his words as actual insults but rather as just fun teasing, usually cheering Ryan up a bit. They were close enough to do that; pick on each other, occasionally get a little violent with flying objects, and still be best friends at the end of the day. Very rarely was anything ever said or done between the two that actually offended either. “Where’s your boyfriend? He forgot to put you on your leash.”

“Jon’s taking pictures of something.” Spencer shrugged, used to losing Jon when the camera was involved. Jon’s camera was his life. But Spencer was okay with that, to a certain extent, and let him be. “Who’s Brendon talking to?” he asked, letting go of Ryan and supporting his own weight as he looked through the net.

“How am I supposed to know?” There was a bit of bitterness in Ryan’s voice as he spoke. Spencer shrugged cramming one hand into the pocket of his shorts and taking another sip from the cup.

“You spent all day with him.” Spencer smiled against the rim of plastic pressed between his lips.

“We’re not getting into that again,” Ryan said with a hint of warning. “I told you that nothing happened. He just took me to this nice place for breakfast then attempted to teach me to surf.”

“Bill said that you spent more time drooling over him than learning any surfing.” Spencer smirked. Ryan scowled and pushed on the bottom of the cup so that the liquid rushed forward, spilling over the edge and all down Spencer. “What the fuck, Ryan?!” he choked a little, brushing his mouth from the liquid.

“Get off my court.” Ryan commanded, crossing his arms. “And don’t listen to William. He has no idea what he’s talking about,” he mumbled, noticing Brendon looked pretty much done talking to the two men.

“I hope you get your ass kicked.” Spencer frowned, looking down at his wet shirt as he turned and stalked through the sand to the sideline, probably to find Jon for comfort. Brendon nodded to whatever was said to him, his laughter being carried along the wind to Ryan, before giving a small wave and jogging towards the net while the two men headed for the sideline.

“You all set?” Brendon asked Ryan, sliding his fingers through the holes of the net and lightly holding onto it.

“Yeah.” Ryan nodded, forcing his eyes to meet Brendon’s instead of falling farther down.

“So all basic rules apply; serve behind the line, two hits per side, no touching the net;” Ryan nodded. It may have been years since he played but he still remembers how; he hopes. “Game to five? Just because it’s getting late and I don’t know about you, but I am not one who does well in the dark. I’ll trip over air at the best of times.” He joked, Ryan unable to contain a small laugh, missing how Brendon’s face lit up more as Ryan did so. “Just so you know, everyone’s probably going to make a lot of noise too.” He gave Ryan a nervous smile, Ryan’s gut twisting some.

“That’s okay; I don’t mind.” Ryan lied quickly, not really knowing why. “Living in Vegas isn’t exactly quiet.”

“The point of this is to have fun.” Ryan nodded. “I’ll try to go easy on you,” Brendon said with a teasing smile, Ryan once again giving a small laugh. It scared him how easily he was finding it to be around Brendon; how much he felt as though he could be himself. “William; ball!” Brendon turned towards the people standing on the sideline, William bending down to grab the white ball on the ground in front of him and sending it as hard as he could towards Brendon.

Brendon frowned as the ball smacked him in the chest, barely keeping it in his arms as he turned back to Ryan. He gave the ball a light squeeze then reached under the net to offer it to Ryan. “Check,” he said, holding it up. Ryan took the ball, the surface being rougher than he remembered, and pressed his palms into either side, feeling the pressure in his forearms since the ball was tightly blown full of air. “Okay?” Brendon asked, watching as Ryan tossed it a few inches up, giving it a bit of a spin before nodding. “Since you’re a guest you can serve first. Whoever gets the point, gets the ball.”

“Sure.” Ryan blankly agreed, continuously tossing the ball a few inches up in amusement. It had been so long since he played with something as simple as a volleyball; an object he could easily find at Wal Mart.

“Fair game?” Brendon smiled, offering his hand beneath the net that time. Ryan stopped playing with the ball and tucked it beneath his arm, laughing lightly again because it was rather stupid. How could one possibly cheat at volleyball? Especially when a good thirty or so people were all aligned along the court watching? Regardless, Ryan stuck his hand in Brendon’s and gave it a small shake, Brendon’s fingers slowly clawing along Ryan’s palm as he pulled away, sending shivers through Ryan’s body.

And the bad thing was that he kind of liked it.

“Get on with it!” Will called, cheers of agreement rippling throughout, breaking the little trance the two had established between them; completely on accident. Well, accident in Ryan’s case. He wasn’t too sure about Brendon.

“So, game to five?” Brendon asked again, having never really received an answer from Ryan earlier.

“Sure.” Ryan shrugged, tugging his shirt down as Brendon shook the hair from his head. Brendon’s eyes stayed locked with his a moment longer, the setting sun catching in their glossy surface, before he turned and jogged back some, leaving Ryan to turn and head for the service line, cheers breaking out amongst the crowd to the side.

“Kick his ass, Ryan!” Bill yelled, throwing his arm and drink into the air, smiling. Ryan ignored him and stood behind the line drawn in the sand, which was the service line, turning his body towards the ocean. He turned his left foot at a roughly forty degree angle, stepping back a bit with his right, holding the ball in front of his body with his left hand, about waist height, making a fist with his right hand. Ryan glanced up to see that Brendon was nodding, the Hawaiian standing in the middle of the right half of his court, left hand wrapped around his right with his thumbs pointing down, waiting for Ryan to serve the ball.

“Zero serving zero.” Ryan called out, not bothering with the formalities of an actual game as he swung his right arm forward, contacting the ball with his palm, sending the white sphere soaring through the air and over the net to Brendon. Ryan quickly mirrored Brendon’s arms and stepped over the line into the sand, eyes following the ball as it dropped down towards the other man. Brendon had to move forward some, watching the ball, smacking the ball with his wrists, sending it back towards Ryan.

What Ryan soon came to realize was that, while his movements were small, Brendon put a considerable amount of force behind the ball as it came soaring back at him. Ryan had to move back in the sand, head tilted back to watch the ball; slightly afraid at the speed it traveled at. He released his hand to break the standard form, reaching over his head and swinging a fist forward, smacking the ball back towards Brendon but losing his footing in the sand and falling onto his butt. There was some laughter from the bystanders, Brendon smiling, trying not to laugh, as he followed the ball’s landing point, giving it the lightest tap he could to get it back over the net, barely, and gaining a point. “My point.” He called with amusement, Ryan frowning as he leaned back on his elbows.

“Nice, Ryan!” Spencer called to his friend through his laughter from his standing spot between William and Jon.

“Fuck off!” Ryan called back, grabbing a handful of sand and throwing it towards Spencer, of course failing since sand is just a bunch of tiny little grains, which traveled along the light breeze. He pushed himself into a sitting position then getting off the ground as Ryan bent beneath the net and grabbed the ball.

“You okay?” Brendon asked, watching Ryan brush himself of the sand.

“Fantabulous.” Ryan sarcastically replied, shaking his head some. He would have to be a lot more careful with his footing, having to realize the ground beneath him was very impressionable, and also be ready for Brendon’s returns which were rather forceful.

“Come on, Ryan!” Bill yelled as both men took their places to continue their game. “Kick his ass!” Ryan, having ended up in a rather sour mood from falling, glared at William for a brief moment, scowling, then took the stand as Brendon prepared to serve.

“One serving _zero_.” he emphasized the second number, that teasing look upon Brendon’s face again, giving Ryan a smirk that made him want to do two things; tackle Brendon to the ground to beat the living fuck out of him, and tackle him to the ground to have his dirty way with him. Neither option Ryan really found as an acceptable course of action though so he just had to step up his game. It may have been awhile since Ryan played, but he had been unbeatable the summer he had done it at camp and knew he could do far better than he could. He liked to believe that he could beat Brendon too.

Brendon served the ball with ease, stepping back onto his makeshift court as Ryan readied himself for the ball, which came flying for him. He quickly stepped back some, almost to the middle of the right half, half bent over with eyes glued on the object. When the volleyball dropped down to Ryan, he lifted his arms up enough to make contact and send it back, hissing to himself as its strike left his skin with a bit of a sting. Brendon acted as though he was bored, practically taunting Ryan, waiting for the ball to come back to him. Ryan clenched his jaw and shook his head because Brendon’s cockiness, if only for fun, was starting to annoy him.

Again with ease Brendon hit the ball, sending it towards the opposite side of Ryan’s court to make him move, with the goal of getting Ryan to fall again no doubt, but he quickly made his way there, jogging up towards the net to intercept the ball before it got to far. Ryan waited as the ball came towards him, jumping up just as the ball was over the net and slamming it with his fist to send it flying towards the ground in a spike. Brendon dove in attempt to hit it but missed, obtaining only a mouthful of sand with the ball creating a small crater in the sand just in front of him. Ryan smiled with satisfaction as the crowd erupted with a mix of laughter and cheering, everyone seeming to be on Ryan’s side.

Brendon pushed himself to his knees, spitting out sand and running the back of his hand over his lips. “You okay?” Ryan asked with a smirk, a hint of sarcasm in his voice as he looked down at Brendon.

“Oh.” Brendon smiled, spitting out more sand and grabbing the ball. “It’s on.”

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The beach was bathed in a warm array of bright red and orange as the sun was giving its last rays of lighting. Torches sticking up from the sand had been lit, giving extra light to the surrounding beach area where the music continued to pulse, everyone’s heart rates elevated in anticipation. It had come down to the final show down, the score of the game being 4-4, meaning whoever got the next point was the winner. No one spoke a word or moved a muscle, afraid to miss it.

Brendon stood in the center of his court, hands on his knees and doubled over, breathing heavily. His body glistened in the sunlight from the sheet of sweat covering him, Ryan proving a very worth opponent in deed. No one had ever kept up with him for so long, even when Brendon added slight spins and twists to the ball, increasing the speed, tossing in some spikes, and even tapping the ball just light enough to get it over the net to other side. But Ryan for the most part returned almost everything, Brendon usually only gaining a point when Ryan hit it out of bounds or the one time he accidentally touched the net. He was by far the best opponent, and work out for that matter, that Brendon had ever had.

On the other side of the court, Ryan was just as exhausted. He was amazed he kept up with Brendon, constantly running between sides and just barely able to get the ball back over. He had fallen again but still managed to get up in time to return the ball to Brendon, his shorts and hair filled with sand. Ryan could feel his own heart pounding against his chest, his lungs slightly burning as he repeatedly inhaled the chilling air, barely exhaling in the process, with his clothes sticky with perspiration. They were taking a temporary break amongst themselves, both rather exhausted but knowing they couldn’t just leave it at the final stand.

William had text Gabe who was just as anxious in Vegas to hear about who won, routing for Ryan as was everyone else. Spencer was practically frozen, amazed at how well Ryan could actually play since Brendon was extremely good himself. “Whenever… you’re ready…” Brendon stood back up, wiping the sweat from his eyes so he could see. Ryan gave a few quick nods, breathing heavily as he straightened himself, taking the ball from between his eyes and trying not to let his sweaty hands drop it.

“F-four…four serving…yeah.” Ryan was truly out of breath but stood behind the service line nonetheless, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath to steady himself before swinging his arm forward. The ball went flying through the air, everyone’s heads following it, both Ryan and Brendon obtaining a rush of adrenaline as Brendon went for the ball and Ryan running onto the court. Brendon hit the ball just like every time he did, sending it soaring back at Ryan who returned it just as easily; far too used to Brendon’s little tricks by now.

All the heads of everyone standing on the side moved in perfect sync with the ball which was flying back and forth with only the noise of rapid breathing, small grunting noises, and smacking skin drowning out the music. Drinks had warmed in people’s hands as they kept their bodies still to watch, not wanting to miss a single second. Both men looked ready to pass out at any moment, their swings becoming weaker and weaker with every hit, eyes half lidded but neither giving up.

It wasn’t just for fun; it was purely for the score.

Ryan gave the ball a hard smack, his skin so red it nearly matched the sky of the setting sun, no longer able to feel the sting each blow delivered. His whole body was starting to ache from having little to no rest for the good hour they had been at it, both moving constantly and quickly through the sand; the once drawn lines long filled with kicked and shifted sand. He wanted to lay down and rest, but there was no way he was giving up to Brendon; especially not when Brendon had continuously worn that taunting smirk that tore Ryan in two. He had to finish it; he had to win.

As the ball soared back to Brendon, he ran forward with the last bit of energy he had and jumped from the ground to spike it, seeing that Ryan was too probably too exhausted to return it. He balled his hand into a fist and, everything suddenly playing in slow motion as though it was a movie to everyone watching, gave the ball all he had before dropping back down to the sand. Ryan didn’t even have time to think as the ball came flying back at him; smacking him right in the fast and sending him backwards.

Everyone’s jaws dropped as they watched Ryan fall unconscious to the ground, the ball flying forward and skimming the net as it dropped down; right in front of Brendon’s feet.


	5. Day Four

**Day Four**

A low groan rose from Ryan’s throat as he slowly regained his consciousness, his head and overall body aching with a dull throb no matter how he moved; or didn’t. There was a very quiet noise buzzing in Ryan’s ears, a melody of some sort, but he couldn’t make out exactly what it was. It sounded almost like a guitar. Ryan couldn’t be absolutely sure since the primary thing he heard was the beating of his heart in his head as though he had some incredible hangover. Ryan doesn’t really drink though; not since after he got incredibly wasted one night back in Vegas and Pete thought it would be funny to take advantage of Ryan’s inebriated state. He had gotten an expensive hotel room, trashed it, and paid hookers to stay in there so when Ryan woke up he thought he had slept with them. Pete accused Ryan of cheating on him, waiting until Ryan was practically in tears before telling him it was a joke.

No, Ryan really doesn’t drink anymore. 

Ryan’s head felt incredibly weighted down and he managed to pry one eye open, his vision blurry which was typical when he first wakes up. After blinking a few times, the other eye opening in the process, Ryan’s vision cleared enough for him to lose the fuzzy haze around everything his eyes focused on; though he had no idea where he was. The ceiling was not the ceiling of the hotel where he had spent the past few nights staring himself to boredom but rather a nicer looking ceiling arching up into a point with a fan hanging down just over where Ryan lay, moving at a very leisurely pace just to keep the air circulating. It reminded Ryan of the cabin he was in for summer camp when he was younger. 

The only thing Ryan remembered about the previous night was being on the beach and playing volleyball. That’s probably why his body ached; he should have stretched first. Little details such as stretching slipped his mind though as he was preoccupied with staring at the man across the sand from him. He couldn’t remember winning, or even losing for that matter, or what he did after. All he remembered was staring at Brendon and he hoped that he didn’t make a fool of himself because, well, Ryan has a tendency to speak before he thinks, often embarrassing him and everyone else around him. 

Sitting up, Ryan became painfully aware of just how bad his body hurt; especially his head. It was killing him. He shut his eyes and placed his face in his hands, groaning once again into his palms this time because he had never had a headache so bad before. It felt as though something was being forced through his skull and into his brain, an unbelievable amount of pressure making his head feel reading to explode. Ryan couldn’t take it so he fell back against the what he assumed was a bed, the mattress comfortable and the blanket soft as he turned onto his side and pressed his face into it, trying to get back to that dull ache stage he awoke to. At the moment, his head temporarily consumed all the pain he had felt in the rest of his body. 

There was a light, consistent pattern of little tapping noises drifting to Ryan, growing louder and closer. When they stopped there was a soft creaking noise that irritated Ryan all the same so he lifted his arm enough to let it rest over his ear, hoping that by at least muffling the noise that his headache would go away. “Ryan?” A hesitant yet recognizable voice entered the room, Ryan forcing an eye open again to see William standing a few feet away from him, half in the room and half outside, a concerned look on his face. “Hey; you’re finally awake.” he smiled, pushing open the door a little more to slide his entire body inside, dressed only a plain white v-neck with an unzipped purple hoodie and a pair of boxers. “How do you feel?” Bill asked as he walked to the bed and carefully sat down on the edge, barely moving Ryan to his relief.

“Like shit.” Ryan spoke into the blanket beneath him. Will made a very soft laughing noise, pushing his hair from his face. “Wha’ ‘appened?” 

“Well…” William exhaled a bit dramatically and looked at his hands which were playing with the ends of the hoodie he wore; even if it really wasn’t all that cold. “You and Brendon were playing volleyball, it was four-four, which is completely amazing, by the way; you really have talent to have kept up with him.” Ryan shut his eye again. “Brendon ended up hitting the ball really hard and it went flying your face and kinda…took you out…” he quietly spoke, almost as though he was afraid to say it out loud. “I mean, you won, because the ball bounced off your face and over the net again but you were out cold and it was kind of freaky.” 

“Wonderful,” he mumbled into the blanket he was contemplating stealing just because it was so soft and nice feeling. At least he knew why he couldn’t remember much of anything from the previous night and why his head hurt so much. He was afraid to see what his face looked like though; no doubt having bruising of some sort if the ball hit him hard enough to knock him out. 

“We were going to take you to the hospital but Spencer said you would be fine; once we determined you weren’t dead.” A small smile came over Will’s lips as he thought about the nice argument they all had around Ryan’s unconscious body. “Brendon ended up having a panic attack, rather convinced he killed you no matter what anyone said. We just brought you back to the house and to Brendon’s bed, which you’re currently on, and have just been waiting for you to wake up; well, hoping you would at least.”

“Good to know I’m not dead.” Ryan sighed, relieved that the pressure was starting to disappear, freeing his head from some of its pain. “S’Brendon okay?” he asked, strangely not mad at the boy for impaling him with a volleyball. 

“Yeah; I eventually got him to calm down.” Bill smiled a bit more, watching as Ryan moved onto his back, eyes still shut, rubbing his head with one hand. “He sat in here for a few hours before I told him to go to sleep and that you would be fine. He ended up just going downstairs and playing around with his guitar which he’s been doing ever since. I’m amazed he hasn’t just passed out.”

“How long have I been out?” Ryan asked, a bit afraid of the answer.

“A good fourteen hours.” he answered, looking at the alarm clock beside the top of Brendon’s bed. “It was around eight when we brought you here and now it’s a little after ten. Everyone else ended up passing out all over the living room by four so I’m sure they’ll be out a bit longer unless disturbed.” Ryan hummed quietly, not all that concerned with anyone else at the moment. “Need anything?”

“Morphine,” he said groggily, ready to fall asleep again. 

“Well I don’t think we have any of that.” Bill laughed a bit, hugging himself lightly in the hoodie he had taken from Gabe before he left; missing the older man a lot but loving being around his best friend again. “But I know there’s Tylenol or something in this house. God knows how many people crash here with hangovers.” Ryan exhaled loudly and opened his eyes again, pushing his body into a sitting position, waiting for his head to stop spinning before moving again. “You might want to lie down a bit longer.” William suggested with a frown, reaching his arm out and placing his hand on Ryan’s shoulders as Ryan looked ready to fall over again. 

“I’m fine,” Ryan said, twisting his shoulder so Will’s hand fell off him. “Where’s Brendon?” 

“He’s downstairs in the studio still playing that guitar.” William answered, still frowning as he carefully watched Ryan. He was amazed that there wasn’t even a mark on Ryan’s face from the ball; the noise of the object colliding with his face echoing over the music that was pumping from the speakers on the beach. “Want me to go get him?” he asked, trying not to smile at the thought that Ryan requested Brendon; having had it with Ryan trying to deny his attraction. 

“No.” Ryan shook his head, whining softly as he regretted doing so since it brought the pain back. “I can…go down there…” he mumbled, grabbing his head again to hold it steady until it settled. “If I remember where it is.”

“I really think you should lie back down,” Will said as Ryan slid off the bed, his free hand pressing into the mattress for support so he wouldn’t fall down. “I’m sure whenever Alex gets up that he’ll end up cooking something. Alex’s an amazing cook.” 

“I don’t plan on staying long, thank you,” Ryan said as he stood straight, taking a deep breath and focusing on exhaling his pain away while keeping his balance. He really did feel like he had a massive hangover or something along those lines. “I just want to thank Brendon and then find a way to get back to the hotel to sleep the next week ‘n a half away.” Ryan opened his eyes completely. 

“You know, Spencer and Jon are downstairs.” Bill told Ryan as he started towards the door, wobbling a little along the way and sticking his arm out to grab the door frame for support. “Seriously, Ryan. You’re going to fall down or something…” William got off the bed to go help Ryan to make sure he didn’t fall down and hit his head anymore. 

“I will when I get back to the hotel.” Ryan answered a little bitterly, tired of everyone worrying so much about him. He was fine; his head just hurt and he was slightly dizzy. You try getting impaled in the face and rendered unconscious by a volleyball at roughly 20 mph. You’d be a little off center too. 

“Fine.” Will sighed as he slid off the bed as well, following Ryan out of the room towards the stairs. Ryan was completely blind to the pink furniture he passed as he found the stairs, glancing quickly towards a hall which was lined with doors. He had a sense of curiosity that made him wonder what was behind each of the closed doors but Ryan just dismissed the curiosity, figuring they were probably bedrooms and a bathroom or two, grabbing a hold of the golden railing. “Don’t fall,” Bill said as he passed Ryan to head towards the door at the end on the left, disappearing behind it. 

Ryan sneered in Will’s general direction, blinking his eyes to ensure clear vision then stepping down onto the first step of the twisting staircase from the second floor to the first. He had to hold tightly onto the railing, his head still spinning a little, walking slowly down the steps and following them around. The light melody Ryan had heard earlier was growing louder, the instrument most definitely being a guitar; no doubt Brendon’s. Ryan stood on the tile at the bottom of the stairs and straightened his clothes, dragging his fingers along the wall as he followed the noise to find Brendon. He walked down the hall, recalling the path from when he had been there a couple of days before. 

When he got to the end, the heavy door was cracked open, the music flowing smoothly through the opening. Ryan inhaled deeply and slowly released it before placing his hand against the door and pushing it open enough to look inside. Brendon was sitting on a bar stool, bent over his guitar with a tired but determined look on his face as he plucked away at the strings of the guitar resting in his lap. “That’s really nice.” Ryan quietly spoke, Brendon’s head snapping up and face quickly taking on a worried but relieved look as he set the instrument down and jumped from the stool, throwing his arms around Ryan and causing Ryan to stumble back from the sudden force.

“I’m _so_ sorry!” Brendon said, sounding ready to cry as he nearly suffocated the man in his arms. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Ryan said breathlessly, Brendon slightly crushing his body. The only good thing about being up so tight against Brendon was that Ryan could feel Brendon’s nice muscles against his own body and that was totally worth temporarily suffocating over. “Just…headache…” he told Brendon, letting his body be crushed a moment longer before moving his arms enough to try and push Brendon away enough to allow oxygen to flow easily in and out of his body. 

“Do you need anything? Like Tylenol or an ice pack or whatever else?” Brendon pulled away and looked at Ryan with his eyes wide, the chocolaty brown color shimmering with regret in the light above him. “And if you need to go to the hospital or something I’ll pay for anything you need.” Ryan couldn’t contain a small smile, leaning back against the wall.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said with dismissal. “It’s just a headache, Bren.” Brendon seemed to perk up a little at the nickname as it slipped Ryan’s lips unintentionally. It’s not like he doesn’t hear it every day; William most always calling him ‘Bren’ or ‘B’. But hearing it come from Ryan, slipping between his luscious lips in that silky voice just made it sound like more than a name. “The only thing I can think of that I need is a ride back to the hotel so I can spend the day in bed.”

“You can stay here, if you want.” Brendon offered a little hesitantly. “I mean, you’re more than welcome to lie back down on my bed or whatever. When everyone wakes up they’ll probably leave so it’ll be quiet. And William is hanging out with Nate and Alex so I’ll be the only one here; unless you don’t want me to or something.” he spit out, almost in one constant stream, to Ryan; traces of desperation in his voice. Ryan just figured it was because Brendon felt bad about the previous night. 

“I don’t mind going back to the hotel, Brendon.” Ryan held onto his arm, avoiding eye contact. He didn’t like Brendon’s pout; it made him feel sad too. “Plus, Will said you were up all night. You need sleep too.” 

“I can sleep on the couch.” Brendon shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

“Sleep in your bed.” Ryan’s voice got a little stricter, his head rising to look at Brendon but avoid direct eye contact. “We had quite a workout last night; my own body is still protesting against me.” Brendon’s face softened and he smiled.

“That’s because you didn’t stretch,” he said playfully, sliding his hands in the pockets of yesterday's shorts which were still on his body. He hadn’t made it to the shower yet; trying not to freak out again about nearly killing Ryan. “But hey; you won.”

“So I’ve been told.” Ryan gave a little nod, just enough to express the motion but not get a headache again. “I don’t think it was entirely fair, though.” 

“Well the ball only bounced on your side once then came back over the net where I failed to hit it so it was completely fair.” Brendon purposely avoided saying that Ryan’s face was what successfully returned the ball. “You won, Ryan. And you definitely put up one hell of a fight. I don’t think I’ve ever been so exhausted.” he smiled, sticking his hand out in ‘good sportsmanship’. Ryan looked at Brendon’s hand for a moment before giving in, trying not to over think the action because there is no reason for him to feel awkward or nervous or anything else about touching Brendon. It was just a friendly gesture. 

Ryan put his hand in Brendon’s and allowed it to be moved up and down, Brendon yawning as he let go. “Go to sleep, Brendon, before you pass out,” Ryan said a little firmly, leaning back against the wall again. 

“I’m not tired,” Brendon said, yawning once again but trying to hide it. Ryan lifted an eyebrow with that ‘yeah fucking right’ kind of look, Brendon’s face adapting his signature pout. “I feel shitty about nearly killing you last night and I want to make it up to you.”

“You didn’t almost kill me,” Ryan said. “You just gave me one fucking hell of a headache.” he tried to tease, fortunately not upsetting Brendon as the younger man’s face softened some with amusement. “So there’s nothing to make up.”

“Okay so maybe I just like hanging out with you.” Brendon tried, his pout being exchanged for a grin; almost a smirk. “If I’m asleep we can’t hang out. And I know you don’t really like me but-“

“I never said I don’t like you.” Ryan cut him off with a frown, Brendon’s smile growing a fraction more. “I don’t really like anyone.” 

“But I like you in a completely ‘lets grab some beers and watch football’ kind of way; not that I really like beer or football. I like red bull more.” Brendon slightly rambled, Ryan feeling his face get warmer. It annoyed him how much Brendon refused to give up because it was making it very difficult for Ryan to stay strong against him. It’s not that Ryan doesn’t want to hang out with Brendon and be his friend or anything, it’s that he just likes being on his own to a certain extent; especially when he’s depressed such as his current state is. Ryan knows he needs to move on and forget about Pete; but fantasizing over Brendon isn’t how he supposed to go about it. And Ryan’s really only fantasizing about Brendon’s body, which is rather conceded and rude or disrespectful or whatever other word you come up with while he stares. 

“How about I go back to the hotel and lay down while you stay here and get some sleep then later this afternoon we can hang out again.” Brendon went back to frowning. 

“Why can’t you stay here? I have a guest room somewhere upstairs…” his eyes looked to Ryan with some pleading.

“Because I need to shower and my clothes are at the hotel and your house is already holding a bunch of passed out people.” Ryan answered with his usual hinted bitter tone. Brendon opened his mouth again but Ryan cut him off before anything could come out. “The only way you’re going to get proper sleep is if you do it in your own bed.” He didn’t exactly know if that was true or not but he didn’t want to stay there any longer; really needing a shower and fresh clothes which were at the hotel. 

“I rarely sleep in my bed,” Brendon mumbled to himself, acting similar to a disappointed kid. Ryan strangely liked that. “If I agree to this,” Ryan scoffed because it’s not like Brendon could keep him there, he hoped, “Will you agree to go on my boat with me later?”

“I told you I don’t like water.” Ryan half scowled. 

“Well you’re on an island which, by definition, is a piece of land completely surrounded by a body of water. So, if nothing else, by the time you leave, you’re going to love water.” Brendon grinned almost stupidly. “And I promised you that I would give you a brief tour of the island via my boat which is really pretty.” 

“You promised Spencer a boat tour; not me.” Ryan tried and Brendon rolled his eyes, exhaling a puff of air.

“Details are irrelevant. What matters is that I promised a tour and when I make a promise I intend to keep it unless I become like physically incapacitated or some other big word.” A noise along the lines of a grunt escaped Ryan’s throat at the statement because Brendon just had this ridiculous charm that Ryan wish he could strangle out of the boy. It was almost damn near impossible for Ryan to dislike Brendon and that frustrated him. No one was supposed to be that damn perfect; especially not to him. 

“I’m sure I’ll get sea sick,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest so his shoulders pressed back against the wall; his head barely a dull throb again to his relief. 

“The beauty of it is that there’s plenty of sea for you to be sick in.” Ryan bit his lip to keep silent. “Come on, Ryan; there’s plenty of safety gear and a deck where you can relax and the boat doesn’t really rock all that much and the wind-“

“Okay!” Ryan loudly exclaimed. “If I say we can go on your boat, will you stop talking?” he asked, not wanting to sound rude per say but having enough of a headache that noise of any sort for prolonged periods of time made it his head hurt again. 

“May-be,” Brendon said with a childish tone, still grinning madly. Ryan rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, playfully shoving Brendon while barely removing himself from the wall. “So will you do it?”

“I s’pose.” Ryan sighed, rubbing his face. “Now go to bed.” He stepped away from the wall to turn and point out of the room towards the stairs he had come from. “That’s the deal; you go to bed, I go to the hotel.” 

“Fine.” Brendon sighed, scowling playfully at Ryan. “I’ll find William to give you a ride.” He sulked from the room, Ryan following and tugging on the heavy door to shut, turning to head towards the living room as he heard Brendon stomp up the stairs; dramatically. Brendon was in a way like Pete; making things all about him and being rather dramatic. Only, Brendon was a lot better than Pete in all ways possible; even if Ryan only knew him a few days. Brendon was unbelievably perfect. “See you at three, Ross!” Brendon called from the second floor while Ryan somehow managed to find his way to the kitchen to find the two men Brendon had been talking to the previous night; one sitting at the counter and the other having half of Brendon’s fridge on the counter. 

Ryan slowly walked into the kitchen, debating finding another way out because he doesn’t do well around strangers. The one cooking looked up and caught his attention before Ryan could slip away though, smiling at him and wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Hey Ryan; how are you feeling?” he asked, walking around the counter towards Ryan while the other man turned his head. Ryan stayed a little distant though because he didn’t know the man who apparently knows him; from the game of course. “Oh yeah, right; sorry.” The man laughed, extending a hand. “I’m Alex, and this is my boyfriend Nate.” He used his head to nod towards the other man who gave Ryan a small wave, looking half asleep. “We’re Bill and B’s friends.”

“I gathered.” Ryan nodded, lightly shaking Alex’s hand. “I was uh, just leaving. So…nice meeting you,” Ryan said nervously. 

“Want some breakfast?” Alex asked, eyebrows pulling together as he walked back around the counter to keep whatever was in the frying pan from burning. “I’m a chef so I promise nothing is poisoned.”

“I haven’t died yet,” Nate said with a smile, still looking at Ryan. “And it actually tastes half decent.”

“Shut your mouth.” Alex threw the towel at his boyfriend, sticking his tongue out playfully. “Please, Ryan, have a seat and I’ll make you breakfast. It’s no big deal or anything. I always tear apart Brendon’s kitchen when I’m here.”

“You make enough of a mess in our own,” Nate mumbled while setting the towel aside. 

“I sort of made a promise-“

“Sit.” Nate basically commanded, Ryan about to say something else before shutting his mouth and walking to the empty chair beside the man, placing his hands in his lap and watching Alex on the other side. “So, what brings you to Hawaii?” Nate asked, reaching over the counter and grabbing a strawberry, Alex slapping his hand as Nate smirked happily and sat down with his treasure. 

“Spencer,” Ryan said, looking down at the counter because if only knowing them for a lousy five minutes, he could tell the two really loved each other; and he was jealous. Ryan wanted that with someone. He wanted what Nate and Alex had; what Jon and Spencer had even. “Spencer thought it’d be good to get away from Vegas for a bit.” Ryan left out the specifics; they didn’t need to know. 

“That’s cool,” Alex said, flipping what Ryan decided was a piece of bread over in the pan; the one side already a nice golden brown color. It smelt good, that was for sure. “Vegas is pretty neat. I spent a year there studying the culinary arts. I know that Bill really likes it there.” He grabbed a bag of shredded cheese and sprinkled some over the bread. 

“Likes it where?” William asked as he strolled into the kitchen, his long legs allowing him to move in strides so that he really didn’t need to put much effort into moving his body from one spot to the next. Nate’s eyebrows rose up a little with amusement, the corners of his mouth curved with a smirk but he remained silent. “I see you’ve met the most disgustingly perfect couple.” Bill teased as he sat down on the barstool next to Ryan, supporting himself on his elbow on the counter. Alex laughed and stirred the pan of eggs which were mixed with a variety of different things, leaving a little on the spoon which he extended out to Nate to try. “See? It’s disgusting!” William gestured towards the two with a disgusted look, Ryan smiling to hide the jealousy of watching them fit so perfectly together.

“As if you don’t act the same way with Gabe.” Alex rolled his eyes, going to attend to some other part of his grand array of food while Nate downed some of the juice resting in front of him. “ _That’s_ disgusting.” Alex looked to Ryan. 

“So are you staying with the love birds or going home like you told Brendon?” William asked Ryan, ignoring Alex’s comment. 

“Uh…” Ryan looked at Alex apologetically. “I…it looks good but…I…I told Brendon I was going back to the hotel and we made a deal…” he played with his hands nervously. 

“It’s okay.” Alex gave Ryan a friendly smile. “You’re here for almost two weeks, right?” Ryan gave a few short nods. “Well I’ll get something down you before you leave.” he teased, moving around the kitchen so perfectly. 

“It was nice meeting you.” Ryan looked from Alex to Nate, his gut twisting and trying not to notice the way their eyes had an identical sparkle or how both their faces had the looks of pure happiness written all over them. 

“See you around,” Nate said, giving Ryan a small wave again as Ryan slid off the stool. 

“Bye, Ryan,” Alex said after his boyfriend, giving a small wave of his own as Ryan walked out of the kitchen and towards the living room; bodies laying all over the place. He heard soft talking coming from the kitchen as Ryan stepped as quietly over the sleeping people as he could, sighing as he spotted his friends curled up together in front of the large window; Spencer using Jon as a pillow and both in a tangle of limbs. 

Ryan went to them and shook his head at the two, as sickening as Nate and Alex in their own way, before kicking Spencer until his best friend began to whine and stir from his sleep. “Get up, Spencer; we’re leaving.”

“Ryan?” Spencer sleepily asked, releasing Jon’s sleeping form to lay on his back and looking up with half lidded eyes. 

“No, it’s fucking Santa Clause.” Ryan sarcastically answered, rolling his eyes. “Come on; William’s going to give us a ride back to the hotel.” He kicked Spencer again. “Wake Jon up.”

“I told Brendon you weren’t dead,” Spencer grumbled, forcing himself to a sitting position and yawning. “It was fucking hilarious though.” He laughed lightly, looking up at Ryan with a smirk. Ryan scowled and kicked Spencer a third time; harder than before. “Ow; stop that, Ryan!” Spencer frowned as he rubbed his leg. 

“Just get Jon up so we can leave,” Ryan said, arms crossed over his chest as he stepped back over the sleeping bodies towards the door. Spencer shook Jon awake before standing up to follow Ryan, yawning more and stretching his arms out, slightly stiff from sleeping half on his boyfriend and half on the wooden floor. William emerged from the kitchen, twirling a ring of keys around his finger and stepping over everyone as though they weren’t even there. He smiled at Spencer and Jon as they headed for the door where Ryan was already waiting with his usual annoyed look on his face. 

“Oh, hey Ryan.” Jon lazily greeted his friend before yawning. “How’s your face?” Spencer smiled even though Jon meant it seriously.

“Fabulous.” Ryan half snapped. “Can we go now? I want to go back to sleep.”

“Brendon offered his bed.” Bill smiled while unlocking then opening the door, a burst of warm air suddenly flooding in. Spencer looked at Ryan with a raised eyebrow as though to ask ‘oh really?’. Ryan just turned away from Spencer and pushed the screen door open to head outside instead of giving him an answer of any sort. He knew that Spencer would only harass him about it. “And I told you to lie back down earlier but you wouldn’t listen.” Will called after him, politely holding the door open for the other two. 

“Which vehicle?” Ryan asked, ignoring William’s words as well. 

“Uh…” Will looked at the keys in his hand. “Car,” he said after figuring out exactly what keys he held. Ryan headed for the small compact vehicle, glad not to have the wind pounding on his face from the metal deathtrap instead. Bill unlocked it and Ryan slid into the passenger seat while Jon and Spencer took the back, settling against the seat and pulling his seatbelt on. “You know he’s sad you’re not staying longer,” Bill said while getting into the car and shoving the key in the ignition. 

“He needs sleep.” Ryan answered with a small shrug. “I need a shower and clean clothes.” 

“As if you couldn’t fit into anything he owns.” Spencer spoke under his breath from the back but still loud enough for Ryan to hear. Ryan pretended not to hear though. He had every right to go back to the hotel to get his own clothes. 

“I told you he likes you.” William smiled as he backed up. “And I told you that you like him.”

“Not like that.” Ryan answered, knowing full well that he was lying which meant everyone else could tell too. 

“Then why’d you agree to come back later?” Bill asked with a small smirk.

“We’re coming back later?” Spencer asked with more curiosity than harassment of Ryan. 

“Brendon wants to give us a tour on his boat,” Ryan said dryly. “It was the only way I could get him to go to sleep and let me go back to the hotel for a few hours.” 

“Awesome.” Spencer cheerfully smiled, having wanted to see the island for awhile. That’s mainly why he chose to cash in Ryan’s honeymoon tickets to Hawaii. Sure, he wanted to help Ryan get over his disastrous relationship, but you can’t blame Spencer for having his own intentions too. He’s always wanted to go to Hawaii; especially with Jon. 

“Unfortunately, I’ll be hanging with Alex and Nate for the day so you guys are all on your own.” Bill gave a light sigh, still smiling.

“How tragic.” Ryan sarcastically answered, shutting his eyes and leaning against the window, enjoying the blow of cool air coming from the cars air conditioner. As soon as he shut his eyes he saw Brendon’s smiling face which had been on his subconscious for some time; and he didn’t really care.

~+~+~+~+~+~

Ryan stepped out of the warmth of his bathroom which was filled with relaxing steam from his shower, making sure everything was covered just in case Jon and Spencer decided to come in again. His bed was empty though, to his relief, and Ryan went to fall down on it to relax; only his towel around his waist. The sound of the waves and distant laughing came in through Ryan’s window, allowing him to drift off until his phone suddenly began to ring and disturb his peace. Ryan groaned and sat back up, reaching over to the small nightstand next to his bed to grab the device. 

He froze as soon as he looked at the screen. 

“H-hello?” Ryan flipped the phone open to answer it, no matter how much his gut was telling him not to.

“Hey, Ryan.” Pete’s ever-smooth voice flowed through the speaker, making Ryan wince. 

“What the fuck do you want?” he asked, an overwhelming wave of anger nearly drowning him. 

“I just wanted to see how you are,” Pete said with that fake sense of care Ryan once grasped for. 

“You have no right to care about me, Pete!” Ryan snapped at him, trying not to get too loud so his friends wouldn’t hear next door. The last thing he wanted was Spencer getting upset with him for talking to Pete; probably breaking Ryan’s phone should he still find him talking to Pete. “You left me, remember? You gave up any right you had to care about me that night.”

“I panicked, Ryan!” Pete was trying to make Ryan forgive him like he always did whenever he fucked thing up; and Ryan always would. But something was stopping him this time. Ryan didn’t know what it was; maybe the distance, maybe balls, or maybe even Brendon. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.” he quietly spoke. 

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Ryan sneered back. “I fucking lost it, you know. For a week, a fucking week, Pete, I couldn’t leave my bed. I wasn’t eating, I destroyed half the apartment, and I cried so much I could have drown myself.” Everything he had pent up for Pete was suddenly coming out. And Ryan hadn’t felt better. “Spencer basically had to break in to check on me because I refused to get up and open the door myself.”

“Ryan…” Pete actually sounded upset, something foreign to Ryan’s ears, and it made Ryan smile. Not big, but a little, dark smile. “I…I didn’t mean to do that…”

“Yes, you did, Wentz. Don’t fucking deny it!” Ryan shot back. “If you didn’t you wouldn’t have ever agreed to marry me since you don’t love me. You shouldn’t have fucking lied to me like that! I loved you, Pete! You were just fucking using me!”

“I _never_ used you, Ryan!” Pete desperately spoke back. “And I do love you! I’ve always loved you!” Ryan couldn’t help but laugh dryly, rolling his eyes. “I panicked about marrying you because I was afraid! I never thought I would be married, tied down like that, but when you asked I didn’t know how to tell you I felt that way.” 

“Stop fucking lying to me, Pete!” Ryan did yell that time. “You don’t mean a single fucking word of that and we both know it! Why are you even calling me? You have Patrick to use now! Can’t you leave me the fuck alone?!” Ryan suddenly found himself wanting to just break down and cry. It’s impossible to get over someone when they can’t even leave you alone.

“Ryan, stop acting this way!” Pete’s voice grew as well. “I _do_ love you! And I love Patrick too!”

“That’s not how it works!” Ryan felt a warm tear trail down his face. He was losing the battle against himself not to cry. “You can’t do that to me or to Patrick, for that matter! So since you’ve already fucked things up with me, leave me the fuck alone!”

“Ryan, baby-“

“ _Don’t_ call me that!” Ryan’s voice was so angry and upset that it was heavy in his throat. “Don’t ever fucking call me that!” Tears started trialing one by one from each of his eyes. “Better yet, don’t ever fucking call me again! “

“Ryan-“ Pete started but Ryan snapped his phone shut and threw it, wiping his eyes and falling back against the bed. His head started hurting again from getting worked up and he just couldn’t take it any more. Ryan was just starting to get over Pete for good but the asshole had to ruin that as well. He’s already fucked up so much of Ryan’s life; and Ryan. 

“Ryan?” Spencer knocked on the door to his room, voice concerned. “Ryan, are you okay?” Ryan didn’t answer though. He just turned over so he was on his stomach, burying his face in the pillow to silence himself. “Ryan?” Spencer tried again, voice a little louder. “You know I’ll come in there, Ross.”

“G-go away, Spencer!” Ryan yelled into the pillow angrily. He didn’t want to deal with him right now. 

“Ryan, why were you yelling?” Spencer asked, doing what all good friends do by not giving up easily. “And why are you crying?”

“I’m not crying!” Ryan of course lied, breathing all uneven and voice choppy. 

“So are you letting me in or am I using the nifty little spare key I had the desk give me?” Spencer asked, Ryan scowling into the pillow. That’s how he and Jon had gotten in. He should have known, really. Ryan didn’t move though. He heard the door opening a moment later as Spencer came in. “First of all, you need clothes on,” Spencer said. “Second, why were you yelling and now crying?”

“Just leave me alone.” Ryan choked into the pillow. He wasn’t even concerned with being half naked. 

“Right; because I’m really going to turn around and leave again just because you told me to.” Spencer rolled his eyes. “Is there a reason your phone is all the way over here?” he asked, noticing the cell on the floor. 

“Because I fucking want it there!” Ryan was back to yelling, Spencer instantly knowing it had something to do with Ryan’s sudden mood change. “Don’t touch it, Spencer!” he snapped as he turned his head to look at his friend through blurry eyes, noticing Spencer bend down to pick it up. “Spencer!”

“Come stop me.” Spencer replied, flipping Ryan’s phone open and going to his call history. His blood began to boil as he saw the most recent call. “You fucking answered it?!” he nearly yelled back at Ryan with anger. “What the fuck, Ryan?!”

“I told you to leave it!” Ryan buried his face back in the pillow, his attempt to hide from Spencer. 

“What’d he do? Try to get you to come back to him so he could treat you like a whore again?!” Ryan shuttered at the word. Spencer had never called him a whore; that was always his dad’s word for him. “God, you’re fucking stupid sometimes, Ryan.” Spencer exhaled frustration, pressing the green phone button to call Pete back and settle this for good. 

“Spencer! Don’t!” Ryan could hear the quiet ringing coming from his phone. His face was absolutely pleading but Spencer just turned around, phone still pressed against his ear. 

“Ryan?” Pete picked up, sounding almost desperate.

“No, you disgusting, sad excuse for a human being!” Spencer replied in a near snarl. “Ryan’s busy crying his fucking eyes out behind me once again over you.” 

“Spencer!” Ryan’s voice was as pleading as his face now. He hated Pete; but he didn’t want Spencer to chew him out either. Part of Ryan told him that Pete didn’t deserve that, no matter how much the man really did. Spencer continued to ignore him. 

“You better listen well, Wentz. I swear to fucking god if you call or attempt to have any contact with Ryan ever again, I will drag you from the back of my car by your dick over the rockiest road I can find until it comes off; got it?!” 

“I-“

“Good!” Spencer shut Ryan’s phone again, ending the call. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his noise, taking a few deep breaths before going to the bed where Ryan had his face pushing into the pillow again. “Ryan, why do you do this to yourself?” he asked, sitting on the edge and placing a hand on Ryan’s bare back, right between his shoulders. “You know you’re not over him, yet. Why would you answer the phone and let him do this to you?”

“I…I don’t know…” Ryan mumbled, inaudible to everyone who didn’t know him as well as Spencer did. “I just…some hope…”

“Ryan, Pete will never think of you the way you think of him. He’ll never love you because he’s not capable of love, okay? Pete is that type of person who just uses people until they can’t be used anymore than moves on. You’re finally away from that and you don’t need to go back.” Spencer spoke calmly to Ryan, rubbing slow circles on his back to try and calm him. “Do you want me to call Will and have him tell Brendon today probably won’t work?”

“No!” Ryan quickly spoke, lifting his head from the pillow and shaking it. “I…I’ll be fine…” Spencer smiled again. It was clear that Ryan liked Brendon. “I just need a few minutes to calm down…” he coughed a bit. 

“Well you have about three hours to calm down,” Spencer said, looking at the clock on the wall. “Don’t forget clothes.” He patted Ryan’s back as the older man settled against the mattress again. “And get Pete’s number blocked from your phone too.” Spencer stood and walked to the door, taking Ryan’s phone with him just in case.

Ryan got himself to calm down as he lay against the bed, glad to be alone again. He clutched the pillow, curling his body up some on the bed, and shut his eyes. He smiled as he drifted off to a light sleep, imagining Brendon laying right there with him to make him feel better.

~+~+~+~

“Ryan…” a soft voice drifted to Ryan’s subconscious, slowly dissolving that bridge between reality and sleep. “Hey Ryan;” He felt his body being lightly shaken, groaning as someone decided to wake him up. “Ryan…” Ryan continued to whine as he came back to reality, turning away from the voice and yawning. Ryan’s eyes slowly opened, a scream escaping his throat as his vision cleared, falling off the bed to the floor. “Shit; Ryan! Are you okay?” Brendon got onto the bed and looked over the other side down to Ryan.

“W-what are you doing here?” Ryan asked, rubbing his head and eyes shut again. 

“It’s three. We had a deal.” Brendon smiled, sitting on the mattress on his knees. “Spencer met me in the lobby then gave me the key to your room while he and Jon went for a walk.” Ryan silently sighed. Of course. “Are you mad?”

“No,” Ryan said, removing his hand from his head. “Just…wasn’t expecting you.” 

“I gathered that much.” Brendon smirked, sitting with back straight. “You’re uh, towel came undone.” Ryan’s eyes snapped open again as he lifted his head, eyes widening and face instantly turning red. His towel had indeed come undone; sprawled beneath him like a carpet. 

“Fuck!” Ryan hissed, hands instantly flying down to cover himself. “I’m sorry.” he apologized to Brendon, sitting up and laying his head on the bed, probably the most embarrassed he’s ever been in his life.

“It’s ok,” Brendon said with traces of laughter in his voice as he looked around the room. “So, uh, I’ll meet you in the lobby in five?” he asked, sensing that Ryan was really uncomfortable with the situation. 

“Yeah; five.” Ryan nodded against the bed spread, fumbling with the towel beneath him to drape it over his waist. 

“Don’t wear anything too hot or tight if you already get sick easily on boats,” Brendon said, sliding off the bed again. 

“Yep.” Ryan replied, not realizing he was holding his breath until the door shut and he let it all out. He got up and re-did his towel, going to his suitcase to find something to wear. Ryan couldn’t believe Brendon had seen him naked like that. He didn’t even like his best friends seeing him naked. The only person that had was Pete and that was just a mistake in itself. 

But Ryan wasn’t going to think about Pete anymore though. 

He grabbed some jeans and a plain white shirt along with a brown vest, pulling them all on after finding some boxers. Ryan went into the bathroom and brushed through his hair, making sure his eyes weren’t red or irritated anymore from having cried earlier. He almost didn’t want to go back to Brendon because he was embarrassed, but he wanted to be with Brendon at the same time because overall, Ryan was more relaxed around the man. So he checked himself over one last time before leaving his room, figuring Spencer had his phone when he didn’t see it sitting anywhere. It’s not like Brendon hadn’t seen the male anatomy before; his body is pretty much the same as Ryan’s. It was that Brendon had never seen _Ryan’s_ body before. 

But Brendon didn’t seem all that upset about it. That’s probably what embarrassed Ryan the most.

The walk from his room to the lobby was very short and Ryan saw Brendon off to the side on his own phone, a smile on his face as he talked to whoever was on the other end. His eyes were bright, sunglasses a top his head again, and while Ryan couldn’t hear what Brendon was saying, he did see the younger man’s mouth utter ‘I love you’ to whoever he was talking to. Ryan definitely didn’t feel his stomach tighten with jealousy. When Brendon spotted Ryan though he waved and was off the phone a moment later, Ryan convincing his legs to work to bring him to Brendon. “All set?” Brendon asked Ryan who had his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. 

“Yeah.” Ryan tried not to let his voice sound bitter or angered, giving a slightly strangled smile to Brendon who didn’t seem to notice. “We have to find Jon and Spencer though.” 

“They’re by the car,” Brendon said, flicking his sunglasses down again before walking towards the door, Ryan following. He held the door open for Ryan, the warm air once again hitting Ryan in the face as he stepped into the brightness. Jon and Spencer were indeed standing by Brendon’s car, well the metal deathtrap, which was parked in the drop off/pick up circle the hotel had. They both looked to Ryan with a smile, eyes saying so many things their mouths didn’t dare. “Everyone ready to go?” Brendon asked as he and Ryan reached the car.

“Yep,” Jon said, lifting the camera which hung around his neck up some. He too had sunglasses on his head, wearing his usual flip flops along with shorts and a plain shirt. Jon’s dress was similar to that of Brendon’s; only Brendon had on sandals. 

“I figured it would be fun to bring you to the local dock instead of the one I have in my backyard so I brought the boat there earlier.” Brendon told them as he climbed into the driver’s seat. 

“I thought you were supposed to be sleeping.” Ryan frowned as he followed Brendon without hesitation into the vehicle, both Jon and Spencer exchanging a look before getting into the back. 

“I did sleep.” Brendon shrugged, starting the car as seatbelts were done. “Just not the entire time.” he smiled, shifting it into drive and turning the wheel, pressing on the gas lightly to take them away from the hotel and onto the road. “So, what kind of music do you all like?”

“All sorts of stuff,” Spencer said from the backseat. “Big on the Beatles though.” 

“No way!” Brendon’s smile grew about three fold, glancing in the rear view mirror to Spencer. “Me too!” He reached over, keeping one hand on the wheel to steady them, and opened the compartment in front of Ryan which was filled with CDs, digging around in it a bit before grabbing one and sliding it into the player. He closed the compartment and sat back up, returning his hand to the wheel, right as _Here Comes the Sun_ began to blast from the speakers.

If Brendon got any more perfect, Ryan was going to lose it. 

~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~

The dock was lined with small little shops of the locals, containing a variety of things from dried sea creatures and memorabilia to the very comfortable family-like restaurant. “I’ll take you to Nate and Alex’s place some time,” Brendon said, leading the three along the wooden boardwalk past the shops and towards the boats all tied to the docks. “Bill said that you met them this morning.” He looked at Ryan who just nodded, eyes darting between all the quaint little shops. “Alex lives for two things; cooking and Nate.”

“They’re such a cute couple.” Spencer spoke from behind the two, fingers woven with Jon’s mainly to keep the other man from holding them up by snapping a million pictures. He noticed the longing look in Jon’s eyes, but Spencer wanted his tour first. 

“They’re ridiculously easy to get along with too.” Brendon smiled, trying not to reach over and grab Ryan’s hand just to feel the man’s skin against his. “Alex is hands down the best cook in Hawaii.” 

“William didn’t seem too fond of their relationship,” Ryan said as he followed Brendon. Brendon just laughed. 

“He’s just being bitchy because he doesn’t have Gabe. Alex and Nate is nothing compared to William and Gabe; when you actually get them out of bed.” Ryan choked lightly because hello? Too much information. “You need sunglasses or something, Ryan?” Brendon asked, noticing that Ryan’s beautiful brown eyes were only half visible through slits made from his eyelids. 

“No,” Ryan said though his eyes were hurting some from the bright sun above them. “I’ll be fine.” That didn’t convince Brendon though because he took the opportunity to grab Ryan’s hand, lacing his fingers with the other mans and pulling him off towards one of the little shops. Ryan stumbled from the sudden shift in direction, blush quickly attacking the top of his cheeks as Brendon pulled him along, definitely not holding Brendon’s hand back. Spencer stopped as he watched the two go towards the shop, giving Jon a strange look but Jon just smiled back; taking the opportunity to take some pictures. 

The small shop Brendon pulled Ryan into had three walls and filled with a variety of things; from clothes to food. Brendon wove through the racks and shelves, pulling Ryan along behind him until they reached a large rack of sunglasses. “Pick something out; I’ll pay,” Brendon said, stopping and pushing Ryan towards them. 

“I really don’t-“

“Don’t start, Ryan.” Brendon gave him a stern look. “The sun can do serious damage to your eyes if they’re not properly protected.” 

“Well I can pay for them myself.” Ryan half frowned, turning to the rack and looking them over. 

“Well I’m not going to let you.” Brendon smirked, sliding his own glasses back up to truly look Ryan in the eyes. “Trust me; it’s no big deal. Look at it as a sorry for taking you out last night or as a congratulatory gift if nothing else.” Ryan opened his mouth but closed it, biting on his lip. He couldn’t really argue with that because both are legitimate reasons to get someone a gift. 

“Fine.” Ryan sighed, looking at the prices of them all to find the cheapest ones. 

“Price is not how you pick glasses.” Brendon rolled his eyes, noticing what Ryan was doing. He stared at Ryan for a moment then looked at the glasses available, reaching out and removing a pair from the rack then handing them to Ryan. “Try those.” Ryan took the glasses and slid them on, his vision darkening greatly in the low-lit store. “Not quite.” Brendon chewed on his lip some as he pulled the glasses from Ryan’s face, exchanging them for a pair with white frames. Ryan ignored the fluttering in his stomach as Brendon slid those on his face, smiling brightly after. “Perfect.”

Ryan looked in the mirror available once his eyes adjusted to the change. They did look really good. “Do they fit okay?” Brendon asked Ryan because that was an important factor. 

“Yeah.” Ryan nodded, taking the glasses off then turning them around in his hands. “Bren; these are way too expensive.” he frowned at the rather high price. Who would pay so much for glasses? “I’m sure there’s another pair that are cheaper.”

“You look good in those.” Brendon shrugged, grabbing them from Ryan who felt his face warm at the small compliment. “Therefore they’re the ones I’m buying.” 

“Can I at least pay for half or something?” Ryan asked but Brendon shook his head, turning and heading towards the cashier. “Brendon!” he called after the man, weaving his way through the store. “They’re too much!” Seriously; who pays $35 for sunglasses? It’s stupid. 

“It’s funny how you think you’re going to stop me.” Brendon amusedly replied as he laid the glasses on the counter and pulling his wallet out from his pocket. “Afternoon, Lyn.” he greeted the cashier as she ran the glasses up. 

“Hello, Brendon.” she smiled back. “How’s Mia?” 

“Fine.” Brendon quickly answered as Ryan reached the counter. “This is my new friend Ryan. He’s from Vegas.” Brendon introduced him. “Ryan, this is Lyn. He needed sunglasses.” 

“Well aren’t you being a gentleman.” Lyn smiled, sticking the glasses into the bag. “Thirty-seven forty-two,” she said, Brendon handing her a plastic credit card. She slid it in the machine then waited for it to be processed, the receipt printing out a moment later. Lyn gave both to Brendon who signed the receipt and gave it back in exchange for the glasses which he pulled from the bag, removed the price tag, and slid on Ryan’s face again. Lyn mouthed, 'he's cute,' to Brendon, Ryan pretending he didn’t see it from the corner of his eye where the tinted glasses didn’t reach. 

“Well we better get back to Jon and Spencer,” Brendon said, fingers brushing against Ryan’s face as he let go of the glasses. Ryan definitely didn’t feel a wave of satisfying shivers run through his body. Ryan nodded, hoping that his cheeks weren’t bright pink again. “See you later, Lyn.” he smiled at the cashier before taking Ryan’s hand again, Ryan about to object but keeping silent as his brain froze his mouth. Brendon led Ryan from the store and back to the boardwalk, looking around for the other two who they eventually spotted against the railing where Jon was taking pictures. 

“Brendon…” Ryan eventually melted the block on his mouth.

“Hmm?” Brendon asked, using his free hand to cover his eyes with his own glasses again. 

“My uh, hand,” Ryan said, Brendon giving him a confused look before his mouth forming an ‘o’ and releasing Ryan.

“Right; sorry.” Ryan saw Brendon’s cheeks tint some, making Ryan feel better. “Boat?” he suggested, Ryan quickly nodding before the two went to collect Jon and Spencer. “We all set?” Brendon asked from behind, both men turning to look towards the voice. 

“Nice shades, Ross.” Spencer smirked at sight of Ryan. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, looking down towards his feet. “Brendon bought them for me.” 

“It was no big deal.” Brendon shrugged with a smile. “Boat's right down there if you want to go.” Spencer’s face lit up again as he nodded, grabbing Jon and tugging him from the railing harshly. Brendon started off farther down the dock, Spencer and Jon in the middle, Ryan walking a little farther behind. 

He wasn’t falling for Brendon. No way. 

“Here she is.” Brendon happily announced, stopping in front of a large boat that rocked gently in the waves. “Her name is Jasmine.” Ryan bit back laughter, small giggles slipping out anyway. “Laugh all you want but _Aladdin_ is the greatest movie ever.” Brendon pointed to Ryan. 

“I didn’t say a word.” Ryan stuck his hands up in his defense. 

“It’s a nice boat,” Jon said, snapping a few pictures of it while Spencer rolled his eyes at his boyfriend. 

“The lower part has a bed if you don’t feel good.” Brendon told them, directing his words mainly to Ryan. He jumped from the deck to the boat, holding his hand out to the others to help them on. Spencer went first, grabbing Brendon’s hand and the wood of the small ladder to keep his balance as he got onto the boat, adjusting his clothes when he was on. Jon went next, carefully going down the steps of the wooden ladder to the boat. “Come on, Ryan. You’ll be fine.” Brendon offered his hand out.

“I hate water,” he mumbled, taking a deep breath and going down the ladder as well, losing his footing and falling backwards; into Brendon’s arms. 

“Told you you would be fine,” Brendon said just loud enough for Ryan to hear, helping Ryan stand back up straight. Ryan straightened his shirt and vest, not letting Brendon see his face as he walked to the center of the boat to avoid accidentally falling into the water. Because water, at least in ocean form, was evil. Just like snow. 

Jon walked around the boat, snapping a few more pictures before joining Spencer on the padded seating lining the boats edge, leaning on the railing and looking into the water. A few fish were visible, circling the boats edge, and Jon went back to taking pictures. Brendon untied the boat and threw the rope onto the dock for later. “You can sit out front or in the driver’s area,” Brendon said to Ryan. 

“I’ll, uh, go with you?” Ryan was nervous, the feeling of the boat rocking beneath him already unnerving him. Brendon’s smile brightened as he walked to the little roofed area where the wheel was, Ryan following right behind him. “This is a nice boat.” Ryan told Brendon, feeling safer in the little driver area where there were actual seats. It had nothing to do with Brendon being around. 

“Thanks.” Brendon grinned while grabbing the keys from his pocket and shuffling through them until he found the one to the boat. “Sit.” He patted the seat next to the one behind the wheel, sliding the key in the ignition and turning it to start the motor. Ryan took the invitation and sat down, shutting his eyes to ground himself while listening to the hum of the motor. “Like I said, if you feel sick feel free to lie down. I also have a few different things to drink.”

“I’m fine, Brendon.” Ryan assured him, melting against the cushion of the seat. Brendon frowned some but pulled the lever beside the wheel to put the boat in reverse and get it away from the dock; turning the large wheel in the process. Spencer laughed from the front as he watched all the fish frantically swim away, Jon lifting his camera to take pictures of Spencer instead.

“Jon, stop that.” Spencer smiled, putting his hand in font of Jon’s lens. Jon smiled and lowered the camera, leaning forward to capture Spencer’s lips with his own. “You know I hate you taking my picture all the time.”

“It’s not my fault you’re so gorgeous,” Jon said with a smile as he pulled back. Brendon gave a soft smile towards the two as he watched them while guiding the boat towards the open water. He loved seeing people happy together; but he was jealous at the same time. Brendon wanted that with someone but had never been able to find it. Ryan; Ryan was different than anyone else Brendon had ever met. And he didn’t know why. Brendon wasn’t exactly saying he would find that happiness with Ryan, but he sure wanted to try. 

“How are you doing?” Brendon asked Ryan as he pushed the lever back up lightly to go forward instead of backwards, turning the wheel more to avoid hitting anything. 

“Just fine.” Ryan responded, pushing his head back against the seat as the boat switched direction; becoming a little more aggressive I movement. Brendon made a soft humming noise, half watching the two up front as well as where they were going. Spencer was laughing at something Jon said again, shying away from the camera Jon refused to put down. It was nothing Ryan had been forced to watch before so when he opened his eyes enough to see them, he wasn’t too depressed about shutting them again. That and he was sitting right behind, well almost, Brendon’s really nice ass and he had done enough of that. 

Once away from the dock and main land, Brendon pushed up on the lever more to increase the speed the boat traveled, the wind blowing against them all and through everyone’s except Jon’s hair. Jon didn’t have enough for it to really dance on the wind. Spencer though had the most probably, his cut almost that of a girls, and Spencer couldn’t help but go picture-crazy again as he watched the way the wind flowed with his boyfriend. 

Brendon sighed as he watched. He wanted that. And he wanted it with Ryan. 

~+~+~+~

“That was a lot of fun,” Spencer said as Brendon helped them back off the boat and to the dock. They had circled the island, going a reasonable pace for Spencer to look around but fast enough to limit the time they spent out there so Ryan wouldn’t get sick. He kept his eyes shut most of the time anyway. “Thanks, Brendon.”

“My pleasure.” Brendon smiled while tying the boat up again. “Any time you want to go out, just let me know.” 

“He’ll hold you to that,” Jon said, his camera full of pictures; mostly of Spencer when the man was smiling or when the wind blew his hair just right. It was bad enough Jon’s studio was filled with pictures of his boyfriend, mostly black and white. 

“I’ll plan on it then.” Brendon laughed, tying the boat tightly. He would have Will drop him off later to bring the boat back to his private dock. “You guys want to go back to the hotel or hang out at my place for a bit?” he asked, standing up beside Ryan who still had made it off the boat next.

“Whatever is easiest.” Spencer shrugged, taking Jon’s hand again. 

“Ryan?” Brendon asked, turning towards the man.

“Your place is fine.” he quietly replied, noting the way Brendon’s mouth curved up. It didn’t send a wave of warmth through Ryan’s body. 

“Off the boat, then.” Brendon told him. Spencer reached out to help his friend who grabbed the wooden posts to the ladder, definitely not blushing as Brendon’s hands took tight hold of his waist to lift him up and keep him steady as he climbed so he would slide off again. Of course, there were always Brendon’s strong arms to catch him again, but Ryan liked Brendon’s hands on his waist more. Though he wasn’t going to admit that. 

Spencer pulled Ryan up, Brendon climbing onto the rim of the boat then pulling himself onto the deck in one easy motion, making an idiotic face as Jon pointed the camera at him and laughed. “Shall we?” he asked, implying that they head for the car. Ryan nodded and started off for the vehicle, Brendon waiting for the other two to start off, following behind. 

Ryan agreed without any promises or persuasion to go back to his house. 

That was a very good sign.

~+~+~+~+~

“Maybe he’s sleeping.” Brendon offered to William, squatting by the couch where his friend miserably lie, stroking the side of the man’s face gently. “Or just isn’t by his phone.” 

“He’s with someone,” Will mumbled into his arm. “I know it.” 

“Well it is part of your agreed relationship.” Brendon pointed out, careful not to upset Will. Ryan sat on the other couch, trying to pay more attention to the television than the people across from him, Spencer and Jon on the porch to watch the sunset. Meaning Jon wanted to take some more pictures of Spencer in the bright, warm lighting. “Come on Bill; it’s ok. He’ll get back to you.”

“It’s been all day, Brendon!” Will sighed, rolling onto his stomach to push his face into the cushion, long legs sticking over the edge and arm draped. “We haven’t talked at all today.” 

“Have you tried calling?” Brendon offered, giving an apologetic look to Ryan as the two made brief eye contact.

“Of course I’ve tried calling.” Bill scoffed. “It went straight to his voicemail.” he muttered into the cushion. 

“I’m sure he’ll get back to you as soon as he can with a very good reason.” Brendon frowned, rubbing William’s back. He hated seeing his friend so upset. 

“I think I’ll go outside,” Ryan said, trying to give the two friends space. 

“No.” William lifted his head from the couch and pushed himself into a sitting position. “Don’t let me spoil your night.” he tried to smile at Ryan but only failed. “I’ll be in my room.” Brendon nodded and stood, watching as William walked off; both of them listening to the man stalk up the stairs. 

“Gabe’s never done this to him.” Brendon frowned, looking up towards the second floor. “There has to be a good reason.” 

“Maybe he lost his phone.” Ryan offered as Brendon came to sit beside him on the couch. He knew what it was like to call someone and get no answer. He knew what it was like to make a million excuses as to why. 

“He better hope it’s something like that for his own good,” Brendon said a little darkly, the door opening as Jon and Spencer came back into the house. 

“Can we go out back?” Jon asked, lifting his camera as though to say it was for that purpose.

“Knock yourselves out.” Brendon smiled, watching them saunter off towards the glass. “So can I get you anything?” He turned towards Ryan. 

Of course Ryan’s mind had two different responses. 

“No, I’m good.” he gave a small smile, the reasonable side of his brain winning. Brendon tried not to let his expression fall to the slight disappointment he felt, glancing between the screen of the television and Ryan; lips pressed firmly together to keep from drooling at the way the setting sun nearly made Ryan’s pale skin glow beautifully. He moved a little closer to Ryan who noticed but didn’t take his eyes off the television. 

Anyone could sense the tension between the two. 

Brendon was heavily considering tacking Ryan against the couch to kiss him when his front door suddenly opened accompanied by a thudding noise which made Brendon sigh and scowl. He momentarily regretted letting people come and go as they wanted. “I fucking hate airplanes"” Ryan didn’t recognize the voice so he turned and peered over the couch to see what he considered the tallest man ever. Well that he’s ever seen. “Eight hours and not a single drop of alcohol!” 

“You’re a fucking asshole, Saporta!” Brendon smiled, not bothering to look at the person who had entered. He knew that voice anywhere. 

“And why is that, Urie?” the man asked, smiling as he left his bags by the door and strolled along the wooden floor to where they sat. “Hello there.” he greeted Ryan, leaning on the back of the couch. “I don’t believe we’ve ever met.” 

“This is my new friend from Vegas. His name’s Ryan.” Brendon tilted his head back to look up at the new man. “Ryan, this is Bill’s boyfriend, Gabe.” It suddenly became a lot clearer to Ryan. 

“Vegas; no shit.” Gabe smiled, flashing perfectly white teeth at Ryan. “Small world.” Ryan just nodded. “So where is my dear Bilvy?” Gabe asked, looking to Brendon. “I missed my baby and thought I would come suffer here for a few days.”

“He’s upstairs being miserable because he’s been trying to get in contact with you all day and hasn’t been able to,” Brendon said, straightening his head again. “He thinks you’re with someone else.” Gabe scoffed and rolled his eyes, standing up straight. 

“Just because we have a slightly open relationship doesn’t mean I go to a whorehouse every time he’s gone.” he frowned. "I suddenly just really missed Bill." 

“You know where his room is.” Brendon slid down on the couch and focused on the television again. He knew there was a good reason that Gabe wasn’t getting back to William. 

“Nice meeting you, Ryan.” Gabe half saluted as he headed off for the stairs, Ryan staring because like Will, Gabe was all limbs and very thin. When he disappeared around the corner though, Ryan settled against the couch once more. 

“Guess I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.” Brendon smiled as they heard Gabe walk up the stairs to the second floor. 

“Why?” Ryan asked, eyebrows pulled together. 

“It’s the only way I’ll sleep without hearing them,” Brendon said, a rather girlish squeal drifting from the second floor. “William is wrapped around Gabe right now, telling him how much he missed him while Gabe apologizes for not talking all day.” Ryan could hear the faint voices. “Now the door will shut harshly as they make up for lost time.” Right on cue, the slamming of a door echoed through the house.

“That’s creepy,” Ryan said, slightly smiling as he looked to Brendon. “You shouldn’t know that.”

“Everyone who knows them knows that’s how it always goes.” Brendon shrugged against the material of the couch. “They’re both very physical beings.” They both laughed on the couch, Spencer and Jon coming back into the living room.

“I’m beat and think I should call it a night,” Spencer said as Jon shut the glass door.

“And my camera’s all full.” Jon lifted the device up. 

“You’re ready to leave?” Brendon asked with some disappointment, sitting straight again. 

“Sorry but I’m beat.” Spencer frowned. 

“No, it’s ok.” Brendon quickly put on a smile and got off the couch. “If you need to leave I understand.” He looked at Ryan. “So; do you want to do anything tomorrow or are you sick of me already?” He prayed for the first.

“I’m not sick of you,” Ryan said, standing up. “Today was nice. I mean, I hate the boat, I hate water, but it was fun.” Spencer and Jon headed for the door, Brendon smiling with satisfaction. He made Ryan have fun. “And I’m assuming Will’s going to be tied up tomorrow,” Brendon nodded with a hint of disgust, “So if you want to do something then I guess I can suffer one more day.” Ryan added a bit of teasing to his voice. 

“I like hanging out with you,” Brendon said as he and Ryan headed for the door as well; the land darkening as the moon prepared to take the night shift. 

“Yeah,” Ryan smiled as he opened the door, “I like hanging out with you too.”


	6. Day Five

**Day Five**

Ryan couldn’t remember the last time he woke up without a pessimistic feeling for the day. He didn’t feel tired and heavy but rather light and a little excited about the day. There were a variety of probable factors to the sudden change, the main being a certain very sweet, very hot, surfer, but Ryan didn’t take the time to analyze any or give his mood a specific reason because he didn’t want to spoil it. He wanted to cherish it. 

The sun was barely up when Ryan awoke, something he would normally gripe about, so Ryan took the time to shower and spend a little more time than usual getting ready before calling Brendon who had given Ryan his number the previous night. Brendon told Ryan to call whenever he needed anything, no so discreetly emphasizing ‘whenever’ and ‘anything’, but Ryan didn’t want to call too early in case Brendon was sleeping. The man had skipped out on adequate sleep the previous night. 

By the time Ryan was all ready it was eight so he scrolled through the contacts list to find Brendon’s number. He didn’t have it memorized, yet, and had to rely on his phones memory to retrieve it. When Ryan came to the number, he pressed the little green phone button to automatically call it, holding it to his ear and listening to the ring while pulling open the door to the little patio connected to his room. “’ello?” Brendon groggily answered after a few rings. 

“Did I wake you?” Ryan asked with a frown, leaning against the wooden fence and looking out towards the calm ocean.

“Kinda.” Brendon answered, his voice getting stronger and lighter. “It’s ok; I don’t mind.” Ryan could see the smile on Brendon’s face. 

“Not if you’re trying to sleep,” Ryan said with a small smile himself. “I can hang up and wander around the area so you can sleep, if you want.” Brendon scoffed. “It is still early. I’m usually not up for another few hours.” 

“I’m usually up,” Ryan heard shuffling in the background, “an hour or two ago.” he laughed lightly and weakly. “But, like I predicted, Bill and Gabe have been rather loud all night and, even on the couch, it sounds like I’m in the room.” There was a small groan at the end of his sentence and Ryan shuddered at the thought. “I’ve been passing out randomly all night only to wake up a half hour later.”

“Why didn’t you say something to them?” Ryan asked, the light breeze chilling him since his hair was still damp. 

“First of all, I’m not going near that room; I don’t even when Bill’s not here.” Ryan laughed. “Secondly, Will missed Gabe and I’d feel awful for telling him how he can spend his time with his boyfriend.” 

“But you need sleep too,” Ryan said pointedly. “As an athlete you should know the importance of sleep.”

“I do.” Brendon sighed into the phone. “They’ll be better tonight so I can sleep then.” Ryan rolled his eyes, oblivious to the large smile on his face or how his brain was analyzing how ridiculously adorable and nerdy Brendon is. “So;” Brendon’s suddenly louder, eager voice broke the numbness the waves created for Ryan. “What are we doing today?” 

“You’re the native expert.” Ryan stood straight, not realizing he had been leaning over the railing like some teenager on the phone with their ‘love’ who didn’t want their parents to hear. “You’re supposed to tell me what we’re doing and I’m supposed to complain.”

“We could work on surfing again.” Brendon suggested, Ryan making a frustrated noise. “Or I can take you guys to the other side of the island where they have some shops or we can even hop islands though commuting can get annoying.”

“We should stay on this island,” Ryan said, turning around to see Spencer and Jon coming into his room. “If you’re half dead for the day then the closer we are to your house for when you pass out, the better.” he lightly teased, tugging the glass door shut again before he was questioned. Spencer gave Ryan a curious look but Ryan ignored him and turned back towards the ocean.

“You’d be amazed at how well I can function with no sleep.” Brendon replied playfully yet seriously. 

“That’s not really something to be proud of,” Ryan said, ignoring the tapping on glass behind him. The only person he was currently concerned about was on the other end of the phone call. “Plus, I’m not ready to go any farther than this _amazing_ island.” There was sarcasm in Ryan’s voice and Brendon laughed.

“Why don’t you guys hang out here for the day and we’ll find something to do.” Ryan tried to convince himself that there definitely wasn’t a wave of disappointment crashing against him to Brendon’s words ‘you guys’, meaning Spencer and Jon were invited too. But why wouldn’t Brendon invite them? Ryan can’t just randomly abandon his friends and claim Brendon to himself. “I can be there in ten or fifteen minutes, depending on how motivated I am.” 

“We can get a cab, you know.” Ryan reached behind himself to flip Spencer and/or Jon, though probably Spencer, off since the tapping wouldn’t cease. “If you’re sleep deprived then your senses are impaired and you could get in an accident.” 

“Streets here aren’t like streets in Vegas, Ryan.” There was more rustling in the background. “I’ll be fine, okay? See you soon.”

“Brendon-“ Ryan was cut off by the sound of the other end being hung up, the dial tone following a moment later. “Rude bastard,” Ryan mumbled despite the smile on his face as he too hung up, turning back towards the door to see both his friends faces pressed against the glass as they acted like children. Ryan laughed, rolling his eyes, and smacked the glass with an open-palmed hand; both quickly withdrawing themselves and rubbing their faces which made Ryan laugh more.

“Asshole.” Spencer frowned as Ryan re-entered the room. “What was that for?”

“I was cleaning the glass.” Ryan shrugged, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Brendon’s coming to get us to hang with him for the day.” Spencer seemed to forget about being hurt and smiled at Ryan. 

“You called him and made plans,” Spencer said as more of a statement than a question. “On your own.” Jon sat down beside his boyfriend on the bed, adapting identical looks on their faces.

“You guys don’t have to come.” Ryan tried not to sound eager or desperate, grabbing the sunglasses Brendon bought him and sticking them atop his head like Brendon always did with his. “Brendon’s just tired and I figured easy would be better.”

“So you suggested his house.” Jon spoke in the same almost-scrutinizing tone as Spencer. 

“Well technically he suggested his house but you know I like simple things.” Both men scoffed behind him. Ryan was in no way simple; he was very picky and complex. “So feel free to do whatever you want today.”

“He’s trying to get rid of us.” Spencer turned to Jon, a look of fake shock on his face.

“That’ very inconsiderate after all we’ve done for him.” Jon played along, looking to Spencer. “He’s already so willing to ditch us.” Ryan rolled his eyes, playing around with his bangs in front of the small mirror.

“And to think, we always thought it was bros before hoes.” Spencer smirked, Ryan grabbing some decorative seashells off the dresser he stood in front of and threw them at the two.

“You both need to stop that!” he scolded them, both Spencer and Jon lowering their heads like dogs who knew they were in trouble. “There’s nothing going on between Brendon and I!” His mind filtered out the _unfortunately_ before it reached his mouth. “Brendon knows the island far better than we do and is offering his time to make it nice for us so stop trying to assume he and I have or will ever have ulterior motives!” 

“So you don’t want to fuck him?” Jon lifted his head a tiny bit to look at Ryan.

“That’s not the-what?!” Ryan barely caught himself, Spencer’s head lifting very slowly to reveal the largest and most unholy smirk Ryan had ever seen. “Don’t say a word.” he venomously warned them, crossing his arms.

“I believe that’s a ‘yes’,” Jon said to Spencer with a smile.

“Our little boy is growing up.” Spencer brushed a non-existent tear away from his amused face. “It seems like just yesterday we were dragging his ass from depressed seclusion and back into reality.”

“They become so horny so fast.” Jon nodded, pulling Spencer’s head to his shoulder to ‘comfort’ him.

“Fuck you both.” Ryan glared, mentally telling himself not to let them ruin his happy mood.

“Where did we go wrong?” Spencer dramatically asked, sliding his arms around Jon’s waist, eliminating the tiny bit of space that had accumulated between the two so he was leaning on his boyfriend. 

“Sometimes, no matter what you do, they still choose their dicks over you,” Jon said, rubbing Spencer’s back; both trying their hardest not to burst into laughter. 

“I’m leaving.” Ryan told them with a frustrated sigh, heading towards the door.

“Wait! Ryan!” Spencer called, pulling away from Jon and reaching towards his best friend. “You don’t have to do this! You can be strong! There are groups for sex addicts that will help you!” Ryan’s glare threatened to burn holes through Spencer’s skin as he yanked the door open. “You don’t have to let this disease control you!”

“Go to hell,” Ryan said in reply before stepping into the hall and slamming the door behind him. So what if they were right and Ryan likes Brendon more than he should? So what if he wanted to sleep with Brendon? He would be gone in less than two weeks. 

No, Ryan wouldn’t do that to Brendon. He wouldn’t become Pete.

Ryan headed for the lobby to wait, detouring towards the gift shop at the front he’s passed at least four times every day but never went into. It was filled with stuff mostly ocean-related, but it wasn’t as pricy as Vegas and was just as nice. He walked slowly past all the shelves of items, occasionally picking things up to examine them, comparing Hawaiian souvenirs to Vegas ones. Hawaii ones were less flashy and more relaxing. “Almost anything you find in here you can get on your own for free.” Ryan spun around to see Brendon standing behind him, physically looking over exhausted but smiling regardless. 

“I’m not a fisher.” Ryan replied, carefully laying the dried starfish sculpture down.

“You don’t get this stuff from fishing.” Brendon rolled his eyes. “You go scuba diving into the reefs.”

“Let me guess;” Ryan began to walk towards the other man. “You know all about that too.” Brendon grinned stupidly. “Is there anything you can’t do?” Ryan asked with raised eyebrows and an annoyed face; though he wasn’t the least bit annoyed.

“I can’t fly.” Brendon frowned, Ryan’s eyebrows falling as he gave a small laugh. “Or get sleep, apparently,” he said as he brought his hand up to cover a yawn from Ryan. “You’d think they need to rest but apparently they just keep going and going and going…”

“You’re not driving.” Ryan stated firmly.

“How do you think I got here?” Brendon amusedly inquired.

“Well you’re not driving back.” Ryan told him. “You look ready to die.”

“Thanks.” Brendon sarcastically remarked. “How do you propose we get to my house, then?” 

“I’m more than capable of driving,” Ryan said, putting his hand out, implying he wanted Brendon’s keys.

“Why should I trust you with my car?” Brendon teased. Ryan just lifted an eyebrow, expression blank. “Fine.” he sighed, digging into his pocket for the keys and handing them over. “What about Jon and Spencer?” 

“If I see them, I’m running them over.” Ryan answered, leaving the small show and going towards the doors.

“I’m going to find them,” Brendon said, Ryan trying not to make any noises as he watched Brendon go in the opposite direction. “You can go out; you do have the keys.” Brendon called to Ryan, jogging across the lobby. 

“I should just leave you,” Ryan mumbled, pushing the door open and stepping into the bright light of the morning sun that rested right on the hotel. He shook the keys in his hand subconsciously as he walked, pushing thoughts of taking a pillow to Spencer and Jon’s faces as they slept because that was awful and ridiculous. 

Ryan found Brendon’s car, the actual four-door, trunk, and roof vehicle, and got into the drivers seat. He made quick adjustments to the wheel, seat, and mirrors then stuck the keys into the ignition to play the radio as he waited. Eventually Ryan saw the three emerge from the hotel, laughing away at things Ryan probably didn’t want to know, and joined him in the car. “You’re crazy if you’re letting him drive,” Spencer said, getting into the backseat as Brendon took the passenger’s.

“I’m an excellent driver, thank you.” Ryan looked at Spencer through the rear view mirror. “Far better than you anyway.”

“Hey; I got my license.” Spencer frowned.

“Yeah, after taking the test a few times.” Ryan replied, starting the car.

“Leave my boyfriend alone, Ross.” Jon defended Spencer. Ryan stuck his tongue out at Spencer who did the same thing, Brendon exchanging a look with Jon who simply shook his head. Ryan backed from the spot and headed towards the main road, knowing by now exactly how to get to Brendon’s. 

“You two ever try surfing?” Brendon twisted his body around and faced the two in the back with an eager smile. 

“Not in real life,” Jon said with a small shrug. “I’ve tried it on a videogame or two.” 

“That’s _nothing_.” Brendon rolled his eyes. “Surfing is so much fun! You guys should try it! I can teach you, if you want.” Ryan’s grip tightened some on the wheel. “I showed Ryan a bit the other day but he still needs some work.” Brendon teased, turning back forward and tapping Ryan’s shoulder; definitely not sending shivers through the man’s body. 

“I can imagine it now; Ryan flailing around before falling flat on his face.” Spencer smirked, Ryan glaring darkly at him through the rear view mirror. 

“Don’t make me turn this car around.” Ryan warned, Spencer’s smirk growing even wider. 

“Behave, children.” Jon stepped in, acting like the parent as he often did in their strange little family. Ryan and Spencer exchanged childish looks the entire remainder of the ride to Brendon’s house; Jon looking out the window while Brendon tried not to laugh until his gut felt ready to split. 

Ryan kind of wished he would. 

~+~+~+~+~+~

“Keep the car,” Brendon said when they arrived at his house and Ryan tried to hand the keys over. 

“What?” Ryan asked with confusion as the sound of the doors shutting simultaneously rang out.

“You might as well keep the car as long as you’re in Hawaii. It’ll save you cab money and allow you to go wherever you want.” he shrugged, leading the way to the door with Ryan close beside him. “You can obviously drive and it’s not like I don’t have other means of getting around.” 

“How about renting?” Ryan suggested, not wanting to just take Brendon’s car over the next fifteen or so days. 

“I thought I just told you the point was to _save_ you money.” Brendon smirked and rolled his eyes, pulling the screen door to his home back. “You’ll just have to get gas and whatnot.” Ryan frowned, stepping inside then waiting for Brendon to enter after Spencer and Jon. “Plus, you’re doing me a favor!” he smiled brightly.

“How?” Ryan’s eyebrows rose, the noise of the door shutting echoing through the large, open house. Spencer and Jon headed to a couch to sit down, silently exchanging looks that said far more than words ever could; leaving Ryan to be oblivious to the obvious attraction between him and Brendon. 

“I won’t have it taking up space outside.” Brendon answered, kicking his shoes aside. “Drinks or food?” he asked, directing the question to all three while walking across the wooden floor. Ryan shook his head and went for the other couch when Spencer quickly abandoned Jon to jump onto the other piece of furniture; sprawled out and smirking at his friend. Jon, catching onto his boyfriends actions, let his flip flops slide from his feet to lift his legs onto the couch he sat upon to take up the majority of the space; also smiling.

“I’ll sit on one of you,” Ryan said low enough just for his friends to hear. Brendon grabbed some water from the fridge, figuring it was something everyone would like, and glancing up to see William standing against the balcony. Bill’s eyebrows were raised, a smirk on his face, dressed only in boxers. Brendon simply pointed towards Will’s room, banishing him, then dropping his arm and pretending Will wasn’t there as Ryan joined him. 

“Feel free to help yourself to anything you find in here.” Brendon spoke to him, wrapping his hands around the water to bring it to Spencer and Jon who had gone back to taking up half of one couch; Brendon never knowing what had occurred just moments before. Not that he would have minded much.

Ryan slid onto a bar stool, folding his hands on the counter top and staring out the window above the sink across from him where the rising sun sparkled off the water up towards the house. He heard quiet noises coming from overhead, mentally blocking any thoughts about what may be going on for his own sanity. The television in the living room where his friends sat popped on, Brendon joining Ryan in the kitchen again a moment later. “What are you in the mood to do today?” Brendon asked, leaning against he counter opposite side of the island Ryan sat at. 

“I don’t know.” Ryan shrugged, looking into the tired but shining brown eyes in front of him. Brendon bit his lip and stared back at Ryan, neither blinking or thinking about anything; just staring. Ryan didn’t notice the way his heart beat a little faster and his body relaxed a little more as he got lost in Brendon’s warm, chocolate iris’; but Brendon did. And he smirked more.

It wasn’t until a slightly frantic yell of ‘Gabe!’ drifted from the second floor that either boy blinked and looked towards the second level. “Gabriel! Get back here and get clothes on!” Bill’s voice angrily called, Ryan’s eyes widening at the words then nearly bursting from his head as the flash of naked flesh darted across the visible section of the landing. 

“Oh god…” Brendon groaned, dropping his head down to the counter and listening to the sound of quick footsteps dart across the second floor before reaching the stairs. 

“Gabe, no! Bren’s got company!” William’s voice was now desperate and Ryan turned back towards Brendon with a twisting feeling in his gut. The television grew louder, a distraction both Brendon and Ryan were grateful for, temporarily drowning out the noise of someone running down the staircase. 

“Come on, Bilvy babe!” Gabe amusedly called out. “I wanna go swimming!” 

“You’re naked!” Bill squeaked in response, Ryan regretting keeping his eyes open as an indeed naked Gabe ran through the large kitchen towards the back doors; making no attempt to cover any part of himself. Ryan wasn’t jealous or anything, Gabe was taller so naturally…he shouldn’t have looked. “Don’t go outside!” William called, running after his boyfriend and causing a rush of cold air to hit Ryan. “You need clothes!” 

“I can’t tan evenly with clothes!” Gabe laughed, pulling the glass door open and darting outside into the warm sun. Brendon repeatedly hit his head against the marble counter, not really hard, the glass door slamming shut a moment later. Ryan saw Gabe run down the path towards the water as a practically naked William chased him with some clothes before taking a deep breath and lightly clearing his throat.

“That was, uh…interesting.” His cheeks were tinted and he stared at his fingers, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. 

“Sorry,” Brendon mumbled, lifting his head. “They’re like children at the best of times.” 

“It’s definitely not something you see everyday.” Ryan’s eyebrows lifted, still staring down.

“Unfortunately, when Gabe’s around, you do.” Brendon quietly and somewhat shamefully replied. Ryan immediately set up a few more mental blocks and tried not to choke. “So…” Brendon sighed and stood upright, running a hand through his hair. “Now that you’re mentally scarred,” he laughed nervously, “What would you like to do?”

“Avoid seeing that again.” Ryan quietly muttered, feeling chills run through his body. He most definitely wasn’t picturing Brendon running around naked. “Probably avoid the beach for a bit too,” he said after, eyes flickering towards the window briefly where he could see the two lying in the sand.

“We could watch TV with Jon and Spencer,” Ryan’s stomach and hands tightened, “Or go back to the music room for a bit. You really like music, right?” Ryan’s hands released as he nodded, face becoming excited. Brendon quickly matched Ryan’s enthusiasm, though far less subtle. “Want to tell them where we’ll be in case they need something?” 

Ryan turned towards the living room to see Spencer even closer to Jon, practically on top of him, then said, “They’ll be fine,” and slid from the stool. Brendon walked around the counter, subconsciously taking Ryan’s hand to pull him down the hall towards the locked door at the end. Ryan blushed and let Brendon guide him away, stumbling over his own feet as his mind was far more focused on other things. Like keeping his mouth shut and breathing.

And Brendon’s ass.

“I lock it to keep people I don’t really know out because when I have parties, or people just show up, really, it tends to be a lot of visitors who heard about it from the grapevine.” Ryan nodded, swallowing hard and trying to prevent his hand from becoming really sweaty. “And from when those two run around like that…Bill knows the code but he also knows how much I value everything inside that room.” Brendon used his free hand to type in the four-digit code. “Its 0-4-1-2, by the way, if you ever want to get in and I or Bill aren’t around. It’s my birthday which I know is lame and predictable but still no one remembers that which is why it works.” Brendon smiled, pulling the door open with ease.

Ryan nodded again, Brendon tugging him inside and shutting the door as though locking them in. He released Ryan, who wiped his hands on his pants just in case, and walked to the center of the collection of musical instruments. “When the door is closed, it’s practically soundproof. No one can hear what goes on in here and vice versa.” No, Ryan wasn’t thinking dirty things or making a mental note of that vital piece of information. “Uh…I can record stuff using the program garageband on that computer with a microphone and lot of wires which are a pain in the ass to set up.”

“Cool.” Ryan muttered, the glorious shine of the guitars all lined along the wall practically singing to him. Brendon noticed the sudden shift in Ryan’s attention, not the least bit jealous that Ryan was no longer staring at him (though he was enjoying that) and turned towards all his guitars. Well, the few he had. He couldn’t have just one because they all sounded different and had specific feelings to them. 

“Here,” Brendon said, removing his Gibson Les Paul carefully from the wall and handing it towards Ryan. “I could tell you love to play from the calluses on your fingers.” Ryan blankly nodded, fingers itching to grab the beautiful piece of work from Brendon’s hands but knowing it was delicate as well. “Play it.” Brendon urged Ryan, reaching out farther.

“I…” Ryan had a nice guitar himself, but nowhere near as nice or expensive as the one before him. 

“Its okay, Ryan.” Brendon laughed at the man’s hesitation. “I know you’ll be carefully. You’re like me; I can see it in your eyes. Playing is more than recreation; it’s an art form we channel through the instruments that led their voices to us.” Ryan nearly cried because Brendon _got it_. Pete, who played himself, didn’t. But Ryan already knew Brendon wasn’t like Pete. He was better; much better. “Take it, Ryan.”

“O-okay…” He didn’t have to be told again, gingerly extending his arms to take the instrument from Brendon. It sent jolts of chills through Ryan’s body as he brought the guitar towards his body, staring at it like it was made of pure diamond. It was better to him. 

“Play,” Brendon said, grabbing a pick and offering it as well. Ryan slid the strap onto his body and adjusted the guitar on his small frame, taking the pick.

“What should I play?” Ryan asked, looking to Brendon who sat on the bench to the piano to act as an audience for Ryan. 

“Whatever you want.” Brendon softly answered, sitting straight and laying his hands in his lap to give Ryan his undivided attention; not that he would be looking anywhere else anyway. Ryan nodded and fixed his hands to play the first thing that came to his mind; still nervous to be laying such a beautiful instrument in fear that he would somehow damage it. 

Knuckles white from gripping the pick tightly, Ryan began to play the recognizable tune of _Your Guardian Angel_ ; at least it was recognizable to Brendon. He shut his eyes and mentally sang along to Ryan’s near-perfect playing; Ryan only slipping from his nervousness. Ryan focused only on playing, watching his fingers move along the strings in the familiar pattern of the song he used to play whenever Pete really upset him because the song, which Spencer had played one day for him when they were younger and Ryan’s father would abuse him, would always calm him down. When Brendon opened his eyes again, he noticed that.

As Ryan played, he relaxed completely, focused only on his playing and nothing else. His long fingers moved perfectly and his face was calmer than Brendon had ever seen it. Ryan’s chest moved peacefully with his gentle breaths, his shining brown hair hanging down around his face as his head was bent. He wasn’t swaying or moving at all really, but rather standing straight and tall; proud. Brendon had never seen anyone look so beautiful before. 

Before Ryan knew it, he was done with the song, looking back up to Brendon who he had momentarily forgotten was even there. “That was amazing.” Brendon practically whispered, making Ryan’s cheeks instantly get painted with blush. “You are really, really good, Ryan.” Brendon spoke completely truthfully. Ryan was one of the best guitar players Brendon had ever heard before.

“Thanks,” Ryan mumbled, looking at the carpeted floor beneath him. “I don’t really think so…” Brendon stood up and walked to Ryan, playing one hand on Ryan’s shoulder and the other tilting the man’s head up. 

“Hey;” Brendon looked directly into Ryan’s eyes, placing his hand on Ryan’s other shoulder to square him; the guitar pressed between their bodies. “You are really good, okay? I have no idea why you’d think otherwise but no matter what anyone may have or will say to you, you have serious talent, Ryan. You could easily nail any audition for a guitarist position.” Ryan’s stomach twisted more as he chewed on the inside of his lip, staring into Brendon’s dead serious eyes.

No one had ever told him that before. Sure, he had been told he was really good, especially by Spencer and Jon, but no one had ever said it like _that_. The way Brendon said it made Ryan actually want to believe it. He found himself staring at Brendon’s lips; doing all he could not to lean forward to press his own against them. “I, uh, have to use the bathroom.” Ryan had to get away before he did anything regrettable. 

“Sure.” Brendon masked his disappointment, wanting desperately to kiss Ryan but refraining from doing anything to make Ryan hate him, and stepped back. He helped Ryan remove the guitar, sticking it back on the wall, and watching Ryan quickly leave; sighing heavily. Brendon had never felt so drawn to someone yet so pushed away at the same time. He really wanted Ryan, but wasn’t 100% sure Ryan wanted him back. It felt like it, but Brendon wasn’t going to take any chances.

Ryan leaned against the door once outside the room, releasing a breath he didn’t know he was holding and shutting his eyes. When opening them, he saw a thankfully dressed Gabe holding a cup tightly in his hand; taking a sip and staring at Ryan over the rim he was smirking against. “What?” Ryan asked, half frowning as he internally panicked. He was sure it didn’t look good. 

“Nothing.” Gabe answered, still smirking as he headed towards the stairs to probably go to William. “Don’t hurt him,” he said as he passed, grabbing the railing. “Or I’ll hurt you. Bad.” Gabe’s smirk momentarily fell as his eyes darkened to a frighteningly dark warning shade. Ryan leaned back against the door more, not saying a word to Gabe. Ryan knew what he meant, though there was nothing going on between himself and Brendon, Gabe scared him enough to keep him silent. “See you around.” Gabe’s smirk returned as he went up the stairs.

Ryan waited until Gabe was out of sight, quickly making his way to the bathroom and locking himself inside, having a mini panic attack. He wasn’t supposed to be feeling or thinking these things about Brendon; but he couldn’t help it. He wanted Brendon. He wanted Brendon _bad_.

Ryan sighed and buried his face in his knees, letting his heart slow down and let the nausea pass. He had no idea Brendon was going through the nearly same thing next door. They were both extremely oblivious to something it took everyone else a maximum five minutes to notice.

They were undeniably head over heels for each other.

~+~+~+~+~+~

Gabe more or less decided that, since he gave up precious time, a party should be held in his honor. So, when the sun was getting ready to call it a day, a large bonfire was set up on the private section of beach Brendon owned; very club-like music blasting from the speakers on the bar aligned with more alcohol than Ryan had ever seen. He remembered being told that Gabe liked to drink though and he assumed the music was of his selection as well. It was just like the party that occurred a few days prior, only a lot flashier by Gabe’s extravagant tastes. 

After an hour or two, Ryan got overcome by all the blasting techno music and increasingly drunk persons so he headed down for the waters edge to get some peace from it all. The music and chatter was carried by the light breeze down to Ryan, words indistinct and distant which was how he liked it. He wanted to leave and go to the hotel but Spencer wouldn’t let him, commandeering the keys to the car Brendon let him borrow then making sure the few people Ryan would trust to drive him knew that he wasn’t to get a ride from any of them so that he would have to stay. 

Ryan sat in the sand, staring out at the shimmering reflection of the bright white moon against the calm ocean; hugging his knees to his chest with his chin resting on top and feet stripped so he could feel the cold water against his skin. He wasn’t a huge fan of water but there was something about feeling it against his bare skin that calmed him to a certain extent. “There you are.” Ryan turned his head to glance back towards the fire he escaped from, seeing the silhouette of a person walking towards him. “Why are you down here all by yourself?” He recognized the voice to be Brendon’s.

“Headache,” Ryan mumbled, his stomach twisting unsettling. Brendon walked down to where Ryan sat and lowered himself into the sand as well, matching Ryan’s position. 

“Want anything for it?” Brendon asked, keeping some distance between their bodies. He and Ryan had been somewhat avoiding each other ever since Ryan got over his mini panic attack and removed himself from the bathroom. 

“No thanks,” Ryan said in response, his knees limiting how much his mouth could move therefore jumbling his words a bit. “’m just fine here.” Brendon hummed lightly in response, forcing his eyes to look out at the water instead of the beams of moonlight that settled just perfectly over Ryan’s pale skin. 

“There’s plenty of stuff to drink still.” Brendon suggested. “Alex brought plenty of food, too.” 

“I’m fine.” Ryan replied monotonously, stretching his toes and splashing them lightly in the water. 

“Ryan…” Brendon turned his head to look to the other boy, a frown on his face. “Did I…do something to upset you earlier?” 

“What?” Ryan looked at Brendon as well; the man automatically adverting his eyes. Mainly from nerves. “No, of course not.” Ryan’s eyebrows pulled together with confusion. Brendon was perfect; of course he couldn’t upset Ryan. It more so Ryan’s own conflicting feelings that kept him from opening up too much. “Why would you think that?”

“Well…it’s felt like you’ve kinda been avoiding me since earlier in the music room…” Brendon looked to the dark sand beneath them; the water washing over his sandals. “And I don’t know why.” 

“Oh…” Ryan turned his face back towards the water, watching the waves roll up towards the beach in the moonlight. He really didn’t have an answer for that one though. “I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything.” He spoke quietly. Brendon bit his lip, unconvinced, and released his knees. 

“I know…I know you don’t like water,” Brendon took a deep breath, “but I’d love to take you on the boat right now.” Ryan’s stomach shifted a little more. “There’s this reef I know of that looks really pretty in this bright moonlight. Certain fish only come out at night.” He shrugged, pushing his fingers into the sand between his legs. “You don’t have to…I mean, I kn-“

“Sure.” Ryan’s mouth moved far faster than his brain did. He realized his mistake quickly but knew there was really no taking that back. “I…anything to get away from this for a few minutes before my head explodes.” He tried to add a slight joke to mask how he wasn’t too keen on being out on the water; especially at night.

“Yeah?” Brendon perked up some, looking back to Ryan. “You…you really want to?” 

“Yeah.” Ryan took a deep breath, releasing his knees and exhaling slowly. “I really want to.” Brendon was barely able to refrain from releasing an excited squeal, pushing himself up from the sand and reaching down to help Ryan up. He twisted his fingers in with Ryan’s, guiding him along the edge of the water to where his boat had been tied up again. Ryan let Brendon drag him along, repeatedly telling himself that he would be okay. 

Not that he was afraid for his life or anything. He was afraid of acting stupid and ruining whatever it was he and Brendon had. 

“So, I know it’s really hard to see and everything, but my favorite time to go out is at night when everything is calm and quiet,” Brendon said, feet kicking the water up as he hurriedly walked; dragging Ryan along. Sand clung to Ryan’s feet as he followed Brendon, unable to see much ahead of him and clutching Brendon’s hand tightly for reassurance. 

The boat was docked around a curve on the beach edge, Ryan no longer able to see the tall blazing bonfire where everyone was still partying away. He knew that, should they go looking, they would discover both he and Brendon were gone and make connections that didn’t exist; but Ryan really didn’t care anymore. They could think whatever they wanted. He was too busy worrying about not letting any of those accusations come true. “Just walk carefully and let me guide you,” Brendon said, Ryan nodding even if Brendon couldn’t see him. 

Brendon walked slower, leading Ryan down the dock to the boat which rocked gently at the end. He let go of Ryan’s hand and jumped down into the boat, turning back to where Ryan stood above him on the wood, reaching both arms up to Ryan as though he was a small child. “Take my hands.” Brendon instructed, Ryan bending down apprehensively and slipping his fingers into the other mans. “Don’t think, okay? Just hold onto my hands and let me guide you.” Ryan shut his eyes momentarily and nodded, Brendon waiting until he was ready. Ryan didn’t know why he didn’t like the water that much but it did. 

“Step down onto the ladder. Hold onto my hands as tightly as you need to keep your balance.” Brendon felt the boat swaying beneath his feet and didn’t want Ryan to get any more freaked out or uncomfortable than he was. Ryan slowly shifted his bare foot from the wood of the dock, dropping it down to the thin metal step of the ladder used to assist getting on and off the dock. Brendon felt Ryan clutch his fingers even tighter, stepping back a tiny bit to give Ryan space; Ryan slipping and falling forward. 

Ryan squeaked as he fell forward, Brendon quickly pulling his fingers from Ryan’s grip to be able to catch him; stumbling backwards on the boat but managing to remain standing; Ryan nearly wrapped around his body in fear. “Hey, I got you.” Brendon said, Ryan’s bony arms pushing tightly into his sides. “You’re fine, Ryan.”

“Yeah…yeah…” Ryan muttered to himself for reassurance, nodding his head against Brendon’s shoulder and loosening his muscles so he wasn’t crushing Brendon. “I really hate these things…” Brendon laughed and kept his arms around Ryan, taking in the feeling of Ryan’s frame in as he was pressed closely. “Sorry,” Ryan mumbled, letting go of Brendon but staying close. Brendon stepped around Ryan to untie the boat again, tossing the rope up onto the dock for later.

“Come on.” Brendon smiled, taking Ryan’s hand again and walking to the wheel. Ryan took the seat he had the previous day, hugging himself as Brendon opened a little compartment and extracted the key; sticking it into the ignition then turning it on. “It’s not far from here.” He pulled the gas lightly and turned the wheel to back the boat away and out towards the water. Ryan pulled his legs up, pushing himself back into the seat, and shut his eyes to let Brendon do what he needed.

Once far enough to turn the boat, Brendon pushed the gear up, not too far to keep the noise down, and let the boat smoothly move in the direction of his absolute favorite reef; hoping that the moon was where it was supposed to be in the sky. He watched Ryan from the corner of his eye to make sure he was doing okay, regretting not having anything on the boat to keep Ryan warm. There was a light, chilly breeze, Brendon used to it, but the way Ryan hugged himself showed that he wasn’t. 

When Brendon neared his destination, he turned the engine almost completely off, the boat moving very subtly across the water; almost not at all. Ryan opened his eyes and saw that they were practically in the middle of nowhere, seeing only the moon in the sky and it’s reflection in the water around them. “Give me a minute.” Brendon told Ryan with a soft smile, turning the wheel gently before turning the engine off a few moments later. “Alright; we’re here.” 

“Very…nice…” Ryan was very confused, looking around at the vast nothingness surrounding them. 

“You can’t see anything from here.” Brendon rolled his eyes, sighing into a smile as he reached out for Ryan again. With almost no hesitation, Ryan reached for Brendon’s hand and let himself be lifted from the seat, guided to the front of the stationary boat that was surrounded with padded cushions for seating. “Look over the edge.” Brendon said, Ryan twisting their hands as they approached the side so he wouldn’t accidentally fall over. 

It’s not like Brendon much minded.

Ryan climbed onto the seat on his knees, grabbing the safety railing with his other hand and waiting for Brendon to sit down beside him before peering over the side. Through the crystal water, highlighted by the moonlight, he could see large coral reefs in which a variety of fish contently swam over. They didn’t seem to care about the boat, some swimming up to it in curiosity while others just went about their own business. Ryan’s grip on both the railing and Brendon loosened, his lips curving up into a small smile, staring into the water with amazement. “Wow…” he breathed out, Brendon’s smile growing at Ryan’s positive reaction. 

“Told you.” Brendon proudly replied, laying his head on his arm on the railing. “I love coming out here when I can’t sleep because it’s really relaxing; especially when the moon is bright like it is tonight.” Ryan looked at Brendon, seeing his serene face highlighted by the moon. It took his breath away. 

“It’s really kind of amazing.” Ryan agreed with a smile, still staring at Brendon. He wasn’t talking about the water. The boat rocked them gently, Ryan’s hand dropping from the railing and thumb brushing along Brendon’s skin. Brendon looked at Ryan to see the other man staring at him, blushing and dropping his eyes down. “Hey, Bren?” Ryan’s voice was quiet and shy, his heart gradually picking up speed as Brendon looked at Ryan to see what he wanted. 

With the bright moonlight streaming down, Ryan leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Brendon’s in a nervous and not fully sure kiss. Brendon’s breath caught in his throat as he felt Ryan’s lips against his, mouth frozen as Ryan pulled away. Ryan’s cheeks instantly flushed and he looked down, letting go of Brendon’s hand and feeling nauseous. “R-Ryan?” Brendon shakily asked, shocked more than anything. 

“I…I’m sorry…” Ryan mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself. It was silent for a moment, a few fish making little splashes, before Brendon tilted Ryan’s chin up and pressing their lips together again. He moved his lips a tiny bit, moving Ryan’s as well, sliding his hand around to Ryan’s hair, bringing his other up as well, holding Ryan’s head in place. Ryan was a little taken back but didn’t pull away, going back to holding the railing with one hand to steady himself. 

Slowly Brendon leaned forward more, causing Ryan to lean back, sliding his legs around to let Brendon awkwardly straddle him on the seats as neither pulled away even to breathe. Brendon’s teeth grazed Ryan’s lower lip, trying not to let things get hasty or overly heated because if they were getting into something more than ‘friendly’, he didn’t want it to be rushed. 

And Ryan appreciated that. 

“B-Bren…” Ryan breathed out, having to pull away before he suffocated. “We…we should get back….” Brendon let go of Ryan’s hair and sat up onto his knees again, feeling again that he did something wrong. Ryan noticed Brendon’s face and pulled himself up, leaning enough to kiss Brendon lightly again; smiling coyly.

“I never said we couldn’t continue it when we got back.”


	7. Day Six

**Day Six**

This time when Ryan’s eyelids parted to reveal the slow revolving fan on the tall ceiling above his head, he knew exactly where he was. A golden ray of sunshine peeked through the center of the maroon curtains which were drawn over the sliding glass balcony doors of Brendon’s bedroom; stretching across the room and landing right on Ryan’s face to warm him. He yawned and blinked the blurry film from his eyes, pushing his face into the pillow to avoid the light from blinding him. 

As Ryan turned his body, the soft blanket that he had woke up on the previous time fell off his body to the floor, suddenly relieved of the heat it had been trapped in. Ryan pushed his body up on his elbows and turned to his side, seeing that he was dressed only in his boxers and, for some reason, his socks. His heart skipped a beat for a moment but calmed when he realized that he didn’t do anything regrettable; Brendon wouldn’t take advantage of him or anything. He hoped. 

Thinking of Brendon suddenly, Ryan turned onto his other side to see the other half of the bed was empty; the sheets dipping down a bit where a body had been. It was cold, except where the beam of sunlight stretched across it, meaning that it had been vacant for some time. Ryan looked around for a clock but couldn’t find one, though he knew it wasn’t all that late since the sun was too yellow. Frowning, Ryan laid his head back on the pillow and stared at the empty spot beside him, wondering what it would be like to actually wake up next to the man. 

In the distance Ryan could hear the calls of seagulls circling the water for their morning meal, hugging the pillow close and sliding his legs along the all-too-comfortable bed. It was definitely somewhere he could stay for hours on end and be completely content. Ryan reached out and brushed his finger’s over the spot where Brendon had been, wishing that it was still there so he could feel Brendon’s skin, his abs, rather than the sheets. He had felt Brendon the night before, but that had been some odd hours ago and the feeling was almost completely gone from Ryan’s fingers.

Brendon felt significantly different than Pete had. He felt far more muscular and smoother against Ryan’s fingers than Pete ever was; far more satisfying and addictive. Brendon’s lips were fuller too; something you wanted to suck on and chew on and feel pressed against your mouth as they were warm and smooth as well. He felt exactly how Ryan had imagined, if not better. Which was why Ryan wanted Brendon in the bed with him at that very moment; to feel him again.

After a few more minutes of lying there, thinking, feeling, Ryan turned over in the bed again and looked towards the door leading to the balcony where the curtains blocked the morning sun, sighing and pushing himself into a sitting position, shifting his legs over the edge of the bed. He had to get up and at least figure out where everyone else was, leaving the comfort of the bed. A slight chill ran up his spine as Ryan stretched his arms over his head, yawning, making Ryan shift into the warm sun for a moment. 

Ryan looked around for his clothes, seeing them folded neatly on the dresser by the door and smiling as he stood up; his legs taking a moment to adjust to being used again. The socks on his feet made him slide some on the wooden floors while making his way to the dresser to get dressed again, having to adjust the elastic on his boxers along the way from their shifted position on his hips. The floor creaked beneath Ryan’s feet, reminding him of the house’s age, trying to lighten his steps in case anyone was asleep downstairs. There had been a party the previous night and no one seemed to leave the house after parties occurred. 

A little folded white note rested on top of his shirt, bearing Ryan’s name along with a little smiley face in somewhat messy but still very legible handwriting. Ryan lifted the note and opened it, smiling as he read over the words left for him. 

_Ryan, Sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up to greet you with the kiss I’m dying to give you. Had to go to out. Feel free to shower or wear anything in the dresser if you don’t want to put your clothes back on. Ask Bill where washer + dryer are if you want too. Hope to see you when I get back to finish what we started last night ;D. xoxo B_

Ryan laid the note on the wooden surface of the dresser and grabbed his clothes, sliding them onto his body then stuffing the note in his pocket. Of course Ryan hated wearing the same clothes twice but, this was Brendon and it was totally worth it. Showering or taking Brendon’s clothes made Ryan feel like an intruder so he decided against both suggestions; leaving the bedroom once dressed. 

The sun was even brighter in the hall, streaming in through large windows on the far wall. Ryan moved towards the stairs and grabbed the railing, trying not to make too much noise as he headed towards the first floor; finding William sitting at the island in the kitchen with his laptop. He rubbed his eyes and slid towards the island, sliding onto the stool beside Will muttering, “Morning,” tiredly. 

“Good morning,” Bill said in response, exiting out of what he was doing then pushing the screen of his laptop down; sliding the computer farther up. He did it for privacy, not that Ryan was concerned with what the man was doing anyway, and turned his body more towards Ryan. “Have a good night?” 

“Mmm…” Ryan hummed, stretching his arms out then laying his head down on the counter, eyes falling shut. It wasn’t that he was still tired, necessarily, but rather still waking up. "Do you know where Brendon went?" 

"To attend to his tourist duties." Will replied, laying his head down as well to mirror Ryan's position. “He should be back around noon. Told me to tell you that you can hang here for the day or whatever you want.” Ryan’s eyes opened, seeing William’s calm face a few inches before him, staring with soft eyes of curiosity. “Your friends took the car and B has the jeep so we’re a little vehicle-less too.” he added as though trying to persuade Ryan to stay there. Ryan wasn’t rushing out the door right away anyway. 

“What time is it?” Ryan asked, lifting his head while yawning and blinking his eyes a bit. 

“About eight or so?” Bill guessed, rising up as well, lips pursed together in thought. Ryan nodded, resting his head in his hands on the counter; staring out the window across from him where he could see the edge of the private section of beach Brendon owned. “Why? Big date or something?” William teased, propping his head on one hand to look at the man beside him. 

“Not that I know of,” Ryan said with a little laughter, replying without even thinking first. “I mean, you know, I’m not sure if Spence has anything planned.” He shrugged after in a desperate cover-up attempt, looking down to the granite counter to try and hide his embarrassed face. It’s not like William didn’t know what happened the previous night; everyone did. 

“Well, if you’re not doing anything, you can hang with me until B gets back.” Bill suggested. “Gabey’s probably going to be in bed all day with a hangover and my only plans were to bother Nalex for the day.”

“Nalex?” Ryan inquired with confusion, turning his head to face William who laughed.

“Yeah; sorry. Nate and Alex; They’re always together so we just refer to them as one person. You know, like Brad and Angelina being Brangelina.” Will explained, Ryan’s mouth forming a small ‘o’ as the confusion faded. “Their restaurant is a short walk from here if you want some breakfast.” He sat up straight in the chair. “I’m sure their lazy asses will be up by the time we get there.” 

“Uh…sure.” Ryan agreed because he really couldn’t think of doing anything else other than sitting around Brendon’s house until the younger man got home. He didn’t feel like getting dragged around by Spencer in whatever he felt like doing for the day and William wasn’t really all that bad once you got to know him a bit. 

“Awesome.” Bill instantly beamed, sliding from the stool he was seated on and grabbing his laptop. “I just have to take care of this and I’ll be back down.” Ryan nodded, turning around with his elbows resting on the counter, watching Will disappear up the stairs to the second floor. He heard a door open slowly, William probably trying to keep the noise down to save Gabe an even worse headache, accompanied by soft voices of what Ryan assumed was Will telling Gabe where they were going. 

A moment later, the door clicked shut again as Will left then headed back down the stairs, a different v-neck shirt on and frayed jean khakis. “I told Gabe but I’m sure he’ll forget within five minutes so I just have to quickly draw up a note then we can leave.” Again Ryan nodded, watching Will walk towards the fridge where he grabbed a magnetic pad of paper, sliding the pen off the top and leaving a quick note which he signed _Bilvy_ surrounded by a few hearts. “Okay; all set.” 

“He won’t be upset that you’re out with me, will he?” Ryan asked while slipping from his own seat, Will simply raising an eyebrow in that _seriously?_ kind of fashion, ripping the note off and leaving it in the middle of the counter then slapping the pad back on the refrigerator door. 

“If we have to worry about anyone getting jealous,” Will walked back around the counter, throwing his arm around Ryan’s shoulders and starting towards the living room, “It’s Brendon.”

“Why would he get jealous?” Ryan asked with a little laughter, trying to escape William’s grip. He didn’t need to be so close to the other man because he _did_ have a personal bubble, for Christ’s sake. 

“You’re really kinda dense there, Ryan.” Bill shook his head, causing his hair to hit his face. “Brendon is like, undeniably head-over-heels crazy for you. It’s kind of like a dog claiming property, you know.” Will opened the door, holding it for Ryan who stepped into the bright, warm sun already shining down on the island. “Brendon’s claimed you therefore anyone who gets too close is going _down_.” Ryan decided his cheeks were warm from the sun and nothing else. 

“Brendon’s just…really nice,” Ryan mumbled, waiting for Will to shut and lock the door then following him off the porch. 

“Uh-huh.” he answered, unconvinced. “Because he makes out like a horny teenager with everyone he’s nice too.” There was heavy sarcasm in Will’s voice, Ryan casting his eyes down to the dusty path they started walking along. “Like I told you before; he’s into you, you’re into him. No one was really all that surprised to find you two sucking face.” 

“I, uh, didn’t realize you guys…” Ryan trailed off, face practically on fire with heavy embarrassment. He definitely wasn’t going near Spencer anytime soon, knowing he would only get shit from his friend. A long series of _I told you so_ which Ryan really wasn’t too keen in listening to. 

“Well you both mysteriously disappeared for roughly a half hour only to show up holding hands, flushed, and avoiding as much conversation as possible to get back to the house.” William tucked his hands into the pockets of his shorts, long legs making short work of the hill twisting from Brendon’s house to the main road, making Ryan walk quickly to keep up. “Then you obviously ended up staying the night and Brendon was very quick to avoid answering any questions.” 

“We didn’t do anything,” Ryan said, feeling the need to make it clear to the other man. “Well, beside what you already said.” William just laughed again, kicking a few little rocks down the path ahead of them. 

“S’nothing to be ashamed or anything of,” Bill said, throwing his arm around Ryan’s shoulders once more, nearly dragging him down the hill. “We’ve all been there.” 

“Not with someone you barely know,” Ryan mumbled, trying not to trip and fall from practically running along the bumpy path. 

“You already know more about B than I did about Gabe when I slept with him.” Bill amusedly answered, releasing Ryan as they reached the bottom of the path to the vacant road; the beach just barely visible in the distance. “Of course, that was my own personal decision and everything,” he started leading Ryan towards the right, “but the more time I spent with Gabey, the more I realized I liked him until eventually I discovered that I loved him. And now I know more about him than I probably want to.” Another small laugh accompanied his words. “You never find out about someone until you take the chance in getting to know them.” 

“Not much getting to know someone when you’re making out," Ryan said more to himself than to William, following him down the vacant road, hands shoved in his pockets and feet dragging lightly on the ground. 

It really wasn't a long walk from Brendon's to Alex's restaurant which was a small hut like building with outdoor seating along with inside. The outside was sheltered with large umbrellas and surrounded by a low, bamboo-looking railing-fence only reaching half way up the circular bar tables. It sat just above a small patch of sandy beach, giving a great view of the crystal ocean to anyone who sat there. Overall, it was like a fancier, more restaurant style snack hut. 

The sign read _Simply Suave_.

"Suave is one of Alex's nicknames," William said while pulling the glass door open, the little bell chiming. Ryan nodded, following the man into the very diner-esque eatery. "I brought company, Novarro." he called to Nate who was leaning over the counter space where customers could sit if they wished; scribbling on what looked to Ryan like a menu. Nate looked up and smiled, pushing his work aside and standing straight.

"We have business hours for a reason," he said with a light, teasing tone as Will took a seat on one of the bar stools; Ryan sitting beside him a little shyly. He felt out of place. 

"And since when have I given a fuck about _business hours_?" Bill asked, leaning over the counter and grabbing a plastic stirring stick for coffee to slide into his mouth and chew on. "I was awake and hungry so I figured I would entertain Ryan with your boyfriend's poisons since B went to work and Gabey's massively hungover." 

"When isn't he?" Nate laughed, walking to stand opposite them. "Alex's still getting things ready in the back." 

"We're in no hurry, are we Ryan?" he turned towards Ryan who was taking in the decorations of the restaurant. Everything was very laid back and overall comfortable to be in. Family-like but at the same time still a hangout for friends. 

"Hmm?" Ryan snapped back to reality, noticing both pairs of eyes on him. "Oh; guess not." he shrugged, playing nervously with his hands which sat on top of the counter. "Brendon's gone 'till noon, right?" Both Will and Nate smiled bigger. 

"Something like that." William smirked while turning back to Nate to have a quick and silent conversation of mainly _I told you so, about fucking time,_ and _now Brendon won't be so lonely_. Sure it was the first time Brendon had shown interest in a mainlander and, while Nate had apprehension when William first explained it to him because obviously Ryan would have to go back to Vegas at some point, he was still really happy for his friend like everyone else. Brendon had been alone too long. 

"Want anything to drink?" Nate asked, figuring that doing his job would be a way to bother Alex later by saying he deserved overtime since they technically weren't open yet. "I can grab you a menu if you want, Ryan."

"Water's fine." Ryan shook his head, shifting some in the seat. 

"You do realize that Hawaii had about a billion different fruit drinks, right?" Bill asked him, knowing the customs Ryan was used to back in Vegas since he lived there too. "A good amount of them are alcohol free, too." he smiled. 

"I don't know too many people who drink this early." Nate commented, filling a cup with ice then water. "Plus, Alex won't let me charge you anyway; especially not Brendon's new...friend." he gave an evil smirk as he handed the cup to Ryan. "We still have to pay for all the supplies though, you mooching bastard." 

"It's not like you don't get the business." William rolled his eyes, chewing away at the stick. "You're only like the third most popular place in Hawaii." Ryan grabbed the drink and quietly drank a decent amount, mouth suddenly dry. 

"We're third because you come in here and deplete our supplies, which means we can't have as many customers as the top two." Nate continued to tease. Their lack of customers at times was actually due to their strange business hours. The two viewed being together and hanging with friends more important than work. Plus, they got more than enough customers when they were open to survive more than well. 

"Be nice to my customers." Alex suddenly appeared, slapping Nate with a dish towel. "And go take inventory."

"Seriously?!" Nate half pouted, half gawked. "Isn't that, like, Travis' or someone's job?"

"It's whoever I decide to have do its job because I'm the owner." Alex replied, pushing Nate towards the swinging door to the back. "If you want to be on the payroll, then you do what I tell you."

"You're _so_ sleeping alone tonight." Nate huffed, shoving the door open and disappearing. 

"Payback?" William amusedly inquired as Alex turned back towards them.

"He, for whatever reason, attacked me with a fucking bucket of ice this morning while I was trying to sleep." Alex shook his head slowly, giant grin plastered on his face regardless. Will laughed, Ryan unable to hide his own smile at the thought of someone dumping a bunch of ice on someone else; as long as it wasn't him. "It's not like he's going to do anything other than sit back there pouting and possibly rearrange everything in attempt to piss me off." 

"Which he can't do," Bill said, taking the stick from his mouth and wrapping it in a napkin. "To Alex, Nate can do no wrong." he turned to Ryan to explain as though Alex wasn't standing right there. "They just do this fake fight shit with each other." 

"Nate's too cute to get mad at." Alex shrugged, leaning on his elbows on the counter. Ryan decided they were pretty much the perfect couple. And he _totally was not_ jealous.

"Don't call me cute!" Nate called from the back, his voice drifting through the order window.

"Stop listening and get your ass in the storage room like I told you!" Alex turned his head to yell back. 

"You're not my boss! I own half this place!" 

"Yeah; the half with the storage room!" William and Ryan couldn't keep themselves from laughing; Ryan failing at trying to hide it. "I don't want to hear you anymore!"

"Well the walls aren't exactly sound proof!" Alex sighed, shaking his head some more, and decided not comment back as the conversation started to get perverted. Not that neither of the men on the other side of the counter hadn't heard or said worse, really. 

"Anyway;" he exhaled and stood straight. "What do you guys want to eat? Might as well get things warming since other people should start arriving soon." 

"The usual,” Will said in answer for the two. Alex looked to Ryan for confirmation and he just nodded because he was hungry and, not that he thinks Alex’s cooking is bad or anything, but he’s eaten some pretty crappy stuff when hungry enough so anything was acceptable. 

“Alright. It’ll be a few minutes since I have to get everything out and ready still.” he smiled while walking backwards towards the door. “Just yell if you need anything.” 

“Will do.” Bill nodded, stretching over the counter again to grab another straw; covering it in teeth marks as well.

**-==-==-==-**

Nate was allowed back to the front when the restaurant started picking up so he could serve as the waiter; standing with Ryan and Will whenever he had a spare moment. Travis came in when things started to pick up to take care of dishes. He was tall with a lot tattoos, puffy, curly black hair, and a nose piercing. He looked groggy and like he really didn’t want to be there, giving a half ass wave to William as he tied an apron around his body then disappeared to the back. A woman named Vicky-T (Victoria) came in to assist Nate about an hour later, the place really coming to life.

To say that the food or service was overrated in William’s words of them holding third place would be a sin. Ryan ate whatever was given to him in politeness first, quickly going from gingerly eating to near shoveling because the taste was practically _orgasmic_. William merely smiled proudly, picking on Nate every chance he had just to amuse himself.

“So, you’re the mainlander that has our Brenny love-locked.” Vicky leaned in front of Ryan, having a spare moment to talk. Ryan just nodded, used to everyone making him and Brendon into some big deal, instead noticing how pretty Victoria was. She had long black hair that was twisted up and clipped back behind her head, the ends of it flowing over the plastic clip like a fountain. Her makeup was light and simple, keeping her fair complexion still noticeable while accenting her features. 

If Ryan was straight, he would date someone like Victoria. But he’s not. So he just notes and appreciates her beauty because so many women are ugly nowadays from fucking with their natural beauty. Ryan never understood all the desire and obsession in collagen and plastic surgery. He found it disgusting and, again, if he were straight, it would be a turn off. Fortunately, not many guys found the need to fake-ify themselves. 

“You’re cute.” Vicky smiled, blowing a small bubble with the gum she was chewing, really looking like a stereotypical diner waitress; even if there really wasn’t a set uniform. Just an apron and nametag. Both of which Nate seemed to be missing.

“Thanks.” Ryan blushed, looking down at the table, wondering when they were leaving. It had been at least two hours. “You too.”

“I like him,” she said to William. “Tell Brendon he can keep this one.” 

“I’m sure he’ll be glad to know he has your approval.” William teased, drinking a very fruit-filled drink. _It’s my daily serving_ , he told Ryan who just stuck to water. 

“Be a dick to someone else.” Vicky-T frowned, Nate walking behind the counter and to the register to make up someone’s check. “Like Novarro. You can be a dick to him.”

“Already am.” Bill beamed, Nate discreetly flipping him off, making it quick so no customers would see. 

“I think everyone is,” Victoria said with amusement. 

“You’re lucky Alex doesn’t fire you for being so mean.” Nate told her with a scowl. “’specially me.” 

“Sleeping with the boss doesn’t have so many perks now, does it?” she teased him. He stuck his tongue out then ripped the printed receipt from the register, scribbling something on it before taking it to the customer. “He ‘n Alex are seriously my favorite couple ever.” Her eyes followed Nate before shifting back to William.

“Mhmm,” he hummed with a nod. “I think they’re everyone’s favorite. They’re like…perfect.” Ryan had figured that out long ago. “Everyone wants a relationship like theirs.”

“You and Gabriel are doing pretty good,” Victoria said almost thoughtfully. 

“We have our ups and downs.” Will lightly answered with a shrug, sucking on the straw in his drink. “It’s not disastrous or anything, but there are days I wish he was different. Like the days he drinks almost nonstop then is out all night at clubs.” Ryan detected hurt in William’s voice. He knew what it was like dealing with people who loved to drink and party.

Pete loved to drink and party.

“Everyone has their moments,” Vicky said like it was nothing and Ryan decided he liked her. She could tell William was getting down and tried to bring him back up. “Hell, there are days I want to hold a pillow over Ryland’s face until he suffocates. But then I remember the good times we have together and how I would be lost without him so those thoughts die away.” Ryan really liked her.

“I s’pose.” Bill started to brighten again. “Gabe’s actually staying until I leave; which just so happens to be the same time Ryan does.” His arm ended up around Ryan’s body again. He really had no concept of personal space or how much Ryan enjoyed having some. A lot, actually. “Gabey hates Hawaii, too.” 

“I’m sure even Ryan’s had some down relationships.” Victoria added and maybe Ryan judged her too soon. “Right Ryan?” William almost instantly let go of him.

“Good times are all that matter.” he quickly spoke before Victoria caught on. “Thanks for cheering me up, Vicky.” Bill gave her a partially wide eye look, subtly shaking his head. She only looked confused. William gestured towards Ryan who was having a staring contest with the coaster. Sadly, he was losing. “Knowing Brendon, he’ll probably be home early so we should probably head back now.”

“Did I say-“

“Tell Nate and Alex thanks, would ya?” Will stood up mouthing ‘I’ll tell you later’ to her before tugging at his shirt to flatten it against his body. “Ready Ryan?”

“Yeah,” he mumbled, the happy feeling that had been growing all day suddenly dying. He knew he shouldn’t let these small things affect him so, all Victoria did was ask the obvious, everyone has down points in relationships, but it did anyway. Ryan was still letting Pete control him. And Ryan couldn’t even see or hear him. 

Will grabbed Ryan’s wrist, gently, and pulled him towards the door; bypassing Nate without a sparing glance or quick goodbye. He just wanted to make Ryan happy again before Brendon got home and killed him for ‘breaking’ the man. “Sorry about her; she doesn’t know,” he said once they were on the main road again.

“It was only a question.” Ryan stared at his feet as he walked half on the road and half on the grass; a few cars occasionally passing them. “She didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yeah, but, your last relationship-“

“Wasn’t the greatest.” Ryan cut William off, shrugging pathetically. “My fiancée who I loved and thought loved me dumped me the night before our wedding for another man. Big deal.”

“Uh, hello?! That _is_ a big deal!” William slightly scoffed. “That’s a horrible, thoughtless, careless, inconsiderable-“

“Don’t worry about it.” Ryan cut him off again, far more bitterly this time. “It happened and there isn’t shit I can do to change it, okay? So just drop it, already. What happens in Vegas, stays there.”

“So what are you going to do when you go back in a week then?” Will asked. Ryan just ignored him and walked a little faster, body tightly huddled implying he didn’t want to talk anymore; which he basically told William already. “I know it’s a touchy subject, but how do you expect to be happy again if you can’t let the past go?”

“I have.” Ryan gritted out.

“No, you haven’t.” William reached forward and grabbed Ryan’s wrist to stop him. “Look, I know we don’t really know each other and that I have a very vague idea of what happened, but if you get upset and withdrawn so easily, you clearly haven’t let it go. And you can’t move on until you do.” Ryan tugged his wrist away. “I’m not saying pass it off like nothing or like it never happened, because we all get scars we can’t ever erase, but at least give yourself another chance at happiness. You owe it to yourself.”

“I don’t owe shit.” Ryan grumbled, starting to walk again. Bill sighed and followed, groaning while letting his head fall back to look up at the clouds. All he wanted was for Ryan to stop dwelling so much on what happened before he came to Hawaii because one, he didn’t want Ryan to hurt Brendon who he would give his life for, and two, it was clear to anyone who saw the two the previous night or the way both men’s eyes sparkle at the mere mention of the other, that they had something stronger than friendship. 

The rest of the walk was silent, Ryan grateful and welcoming to the nothingness, calming down his mood. He knew William only meant well and that his words were true, but Ryan had issues with the truth. He often hated it and tried to avoid or ignore it. He knew he had to let go of what happened with Pete if he wanted a chance of being happy again.

A chance of being happy with Brendon.

**-==-==-==-**

Gabe was on the couch when they returned, wearing only boxers and surrounded by empty water bottles. “What are you doing on the couch?” William asked as he strolled across the wooden flooring.

“Dunno,” Gabe mumbled, eyes shut and arms lifting into the air as though summoning Will to him. Bill smiled and obliged, stepping from his shoes before going to his boyfriend, stepping around the bottles to save Gabe’s head more pain, and carefully climbed onto the couch; lowering himself down. “You were gone a long time.”

“Few hours,” William said softly as Gabe’s arms locked around him; his head on Gabe’s shoulder with one arm hanging over the edge. “We were only at the restaurant.” Gabe hummed a response, Ryan bypassing the two to find something to do. Part of him wanted to go back to the hotel, but another part, a more convincing part, of him wanted to wait for Brendon to get back. So he searched for a way to pass the time. 

Ryan wandered through the kitchen, inevitably ending up at Brendon’s music room; typing in the key code then pulling the door back and slipping inside. _0-4-1-2_ ; Brendon’s birthday. The room was quiet and cool, the type of environment that Ryan thrived in. Sure, he loved his job as an English teacher back in Vegas, but his favorite place to be in the school was the music room with Greenwald. So Brendon’s studio-like room with all the instruments creating a soothing atmosphere nearly melted all Ryan’s troubles away and allowed a smile to actually come on his face again. 

Carefully, he selected one of the guitars from the wall, more confident in touching them now, going to the barstool near the computer and pulling himself up. He situated the instrument in his lap, adjusting his fingers over the strings before starting to absently play random chords, a warm up so to speak, letting his mind drown in the guitar’s beautiful voice. Ryan shut his eyes briefly, not wanting to fall from the stool, playing _Yesterday_ , not realizing that he was thinking about Brendon as he did so. 

After loosening his fingers and getting a comfortable feel for the particular guitar he was playing, Ryan adjusted his position and started to lightly play a different tune, playing it over a few times before adding some words that came to his mind. “ _I don’t love you, I’m just passing the time…_ ” he quietly muttered, staring down at his fingers as he played. “ _You could love me if I knew how to lie…_.” His thoughts shifted from Brendon to Pete as he sang quietly, spoke really, his chest feeling twisted and tight. “ _But who could love me? I am out of my mind…_ ” he sighed, eyes falling shut again as his head tipped back, somehow managing to keep his balance on the seat. “ _Throwing a line out to sea…_ ” Slowly, Ryan’s mind fluttered back to Brendon. “ _To see if I can catch a dream…_ ” He could see Brendon’s smiling face and feel the lasting softness of Brendon’s lips against his own; a ghost feeling remaining of Brendon’s gentle touches and warm breath.

Sighing heavily, Ryan stopped playing and opened his eyes, setting the guitar down, propped against the desk of the computer. He wanted Brendon, wanted to have with Brendon what Nate had with Alex and what Jon had with Spencer and even what William had with Gabe; what Ryan thought he had with Pete. But Ryan also knew that he wasn’t going to be staying in Hawaii forever, and that it was Brendon’s home which meant he wouldn’t likely leave to go with Ryan to Vegas. Hawaii wasn’t Ryan’s home though, Vegas was, and that meant he wasn’t likely to stay to be with Brendon. So, in the end, even if they let themselves have something together, it wouldn’t last very long. 

And Ryan couldn’t deal with his heart being broken again. Nor could he do that to Brendon. 

Getting off the stool, Ryan grabbed the guitar and returned it to it’s place along the wall, leaving the small room and going to the living room where William had seemed to fall asleep with Gabe, grabbing the remote to the television and turning it on, cranking the volume down to a level he had to strain to hear; using it as a distraction more than anything else. Ryan sat on the other couch, curling up tightly at the end, like a ball, flipping through the channels to find something to watch. 

He landed on discovery health channel, interest peaked by some show called _I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant_ , because seriously? How could you not know? He watched it some, setting the remote on the glass coffee table between the two couches, glancing at the two men opposite him who seemed to fit so perfectly together, like puzzle pieces, then looked at the empty 2/3 of space where he sat; laying his head on his knees. Ryan’s mind drifted off and, before he knew it, he ended up passing out as well. 

**-==-==-==-**

Ryan’s eyes fluttered open, not realizing he had fallen asleep until he noticed the lighting of the room was considerably darker than it had been last he remembered. It was still light out, more towards evening though, and the television was off. As Ryan moved, his body sore from being in the same position for a few hours, he realized a blanket had been placed over him, tucked around his body some, and that he was alone. Gabe and William were no longer on the couch opposite him and there weren’t bottles all over anymore. It was just Ryan, a blanket, and the couch he had fallen asleep on.

Folding the soft blanket back, Ryan sat up the rest of the way and put his feet on the floor, reaching his arms up and yawning. He was warm, probably from the blanket, and felt considerably better than he had when sitting on the couch to watch television some odd hours ago. His head felt lighter, thoughts clearer, and actually let his face settle on a little smile for no reason. Ryan pushed off the couch, stretching some more, then started towards the kitchen; wobbling a bit as he reoriented his legs to movement. 

Ryan saw the back door was cracked open so he headed for it, seeing the small forms of people down by the beach; only a few which meant it wasn’t some extravagant party again. Pulling the door open enough to slide through, Ryan re-entered the warm sun which was starting to make its way towards the horizon, struggling with his lack of post-sleep strength to get the door shut again before starting down the path. The sounds of laughter drifted up towards him as he walked, eyes squinted as they adjusted, almost falling multiple times on the bumpy path towards the water.

Once close enough, Ryan made out the people to be Gabe, William, Brendon, Spencer, Jon, Alex, and Nate. He yawned once more, digging his palms into his eyes to rub away the remainder of sleep, before stepping into the uneven, shifting sand of the beach. “It’s alive!” Spencer called in a high, teasing voice, spotting Ryan wandering down towards where they were scattered near the water. Ryan flipped him off, still waking up, heading for the bunch. 

"I told you I didn't kill him, Beckett!" Alex stuck his tongue out at William, sitting in the warm sand a few feet away from the water's reach. His hands were behind his back, sunken into the moveable grains, and his legs on either side of Nate who was leaning back on him with his head in the center of Alex's chest; wearing Alex's glasses and a beanie hat while reading a romance novel. 

"Well, he looked pretty dead." Will shrugged, stretched out in the foldable chair with his arms behind his head and eyes hidden behind large sunglasses as he sat in the shade. Gabe laid next to him atop a towel, completely in the sun, one arm behind his head and the other supporting a large bottle of some alcoholic beverage. Ryan wondered how he still had a liver if he drank like that, walking down towards Brendon who sat just beside the water's edge with brightly colored buckets.

"Ryan!" he beamed, waving an arm. "You're just in time to help me build a sand castle!" Brendon patted down the muddy sand in one of the plastic containers, his hands already covered. Ryan cocked his head and gave the younger man a questioning look, because he didn't know too many twenty-four year olds who built sand castles. Actually, he only knew one; and that was just freshly obtained information. "It's gonna be epic!"

"The Queen's not supposed to help with the manual labor." Spencer called from his spot in the ocean, the water reaching up to his knees. "Their job is to bitch and nag the King until you just have to off their head!" he smiled, the wind blowing his hair as he hugged himself; freezing. Jon was currently attacking him with the camera; again. He was Jon's favorite subject; their apartment and Jon's studio perfect evidence. "Ryan's already got the bitching and nagging down." 

"I'll come out there and drown you if you don't shut the fuck up!" Ryan yelled frowning, collapsing in the sand near Brendon and his planned out castle space. Brendon offered him a bucket of mud, but Ryan shook his head and glanced around at everyone else, watching Brendon work instead. He hated getting dirty. Well, most of the time he hated getting dirty. It wasn't always bad. But mud dirty was not on Ryan's acceptable list. 

"Tell me again why you're reading that," Alex said, chin extended out to rest on his boyfriend's head and attempting to read the book that had Nate's undivided attention. 

"I like it." Nate answered with a small shrug, flipping the page over. "It's cliché and entertaining." 

"What he really means is why are you reading instead of groping him." Bill clarified from his position just above them on the beach, busy on his cellphone texting someone who obviously wasn't Gabe because he was right next to William. 

"Not everyone thinks about sex all the time like you, Bill." Alex rolled his eyes, Nate pulling his attention from the book to tip his head back and look at his pillow-boyfriend. 

"You do." he smiled teasingly. "With your bullshit 'Spanish blood' excuse." Alex shifted his weight to one hand to smack Nate's head playfully. 

"There is nothing bullshit about it." Gabe spoke up, reaching out towards William who only smacked his hands away. "Us Spaniards thrive on sex. It's common knowledge, really." 

"Common knowledge is what you lack." Bill scoffed, fingers flying over the keys with skilled practice. 

"I resent that." Gabe frowned, dropping his arm back to his body. "I have plenty of common knowledge?"

"Like drinking more when you're still partially hungover from last night?" he asked, glancing down at Gabe with a raised eyebrow. "Yep. Loads of common knowledge." 

"You're lucky you're sexy," Gabe mumbled, eyes falling shut while staring at the sun. 

"You get used to it." Brendon's voice suddenly snapped Ryan from his involved thoughts on everyone else, making him turn back towards the man who was smoothing down the cracked edges of his bucket-made pile of mud gently. "All of them." Brendon tipped his head towards the four higher up. "You get used to listening to the bickering and sexual innuendo. I mostly drown it out. They know when to behave which is what matters." 

"Hey! Give it back!" Ryan turned towards Nate's voice, seeing him trying to reach up to get the book that Alex was holding over him. "Alex! I'm reading!"

"Not anymore," Alex said, throwing the book towards the water. Nate's face looked momentarily mortified as he scrambled to get up from the sand, trying to go for the book when Alex quickly sat up and grabbed his ankles, making him fall down with a slight squeaking noise. 

"Refrain from littering." Brendon called up to them, flipping another bucket and slowly removing it to leave the shape of the inside of the bucket. "I really don't want to be fined." 

"My book!" Nate whined, reaching out and trying to crawl away from Alex who was laughing and holding his ankles still. It floated out to Spencer who picked it up, waving it victoriously in Nate's direction, before throwing it farther out into the ocean. 

"Didn't I just tell you not to litter?!" Brendon sighed, wiping his hands on his legs and standing up. "You're going to kill the planet." he frowned, stripping his body of his shirt; Ryan's eyes definitely on him now. 

"I agree." Alex nodded, still laughing as he held Nate back. "Those books are killing the planet." Brendon jogged into the water, diving near perfectly into the water once he was far enough; barely any water splashing up as his body slipped beneath the surface. Ryan was the only one who paid him any attention, watching as Brendon resurfaced, brushing his wet hair aside then swimming out towards the book that started drifting farther out to sea. 

Trying not to make his staring so obvious, Ryan got onto his knees and used his finger to draw a circle around the start of Brendon’s castle, standing up and grabbing a bucket. Brendon reached the book and started back towards shore as Ryan dipped the bucket into the water, carrying it back to make a moat around the castle. Once Brendon reached the sand he threw the book at Alex, managing to smack him in the head, shaking his hair like a dog to dry it before heading back to Ryan. 

“Hey!” Nate frowned at Brendon, sitting up and turning his body around. “Don’t abuse my boyfriend!” he crawled up the sand towards Alex who had fallen backwards, rubbing his head where the book hit him. Nate bent down and kissed the red mark on Alex’s head, pushing his bangs back to ‘comfort’ him. 

“Don’t let your crappy books end up in the water!” Brendon answered, pushing his now soaked shorts down so he was left in a red bathing suit which hung dangerously low on his hips; the ties undone. Ryan most definitely wasn’t staring. “It didn’t do anything to you to deserve such torture!” he smiled at Nate who flipped him off before Alex suddenly grabbed his waist and pulled him down. “And no sex on my beach!” 

“You have.” William called, crossing one long leg over the other and pushing his sunglasses up to look down at Brendon with sparkling eyes. 

“Duh. It’s _my_ beach.” Brendon rolled his eyes and smiled, looking down at the castle and smiling even wider. “Dude! That’s awesome, Ryan!” he beamed, dropping down to his knees. “A moat’s _exactly_ what it needed!” he looked up at Ryan with possibly the cutest smile and loveable eye’s ever. It reminded Ryan of when he was younger and he had a puppy that never left his side, looking at him with absolute serenity whenever Ryan scratched behind her ears just right. 

He smiled. 

“Gabey and I have had sex on your beach.” William smiled, bursting the trance Ryan had been sucked into. Brendon ignored his friend’s response, going back to his sand structure to finish it. 

“Multiple times.” Gabe added with a smirk, reaching over towards his boyfriend again. He caught William off guard, tugging him from the chair and on top of him; right into the sun. 

“Gabriel!” Bill whined, trying to pull away but unable to due to Gabe’s tight grip on his waist. “I don’t like the sun!” 

“You can survive a few minutes,” the older man said from beneath him. 

“You hungry?” Brendon asked Ryan, giving up on his sand castle as everyone started getting very touchy with each other. Even Spencer and Jon had taken to sitting on the sand with their feet in the water; Spencer leaning on Jon as the two talked about stuff Ryan couldn’t hear. He nodded, Brendon wiping his hands again and standing up. “Come on.” He reached down to Ryan who took his hand and let Brendon lift him up, frowning slightly at the grains sliding through his fingers. 

Ignoring everyone else, Brendon lead Ryan back towards the house, not looking back just in case. Ryan stayed quiet as Brendon led him along the path, water still clinging to Brendon’s muscular torso, the sun hitting him just right. He had to think of something else quickly, pulling his eyes away from Brendon’s body to keep himself from getting incredibly hard. “I have to jump in the shower to get all this sand off,” Brendon said when they reached the house, releasing Ryan’s hand to pull the door open. “I should only be a few minutes.” 

“That’s okay.” Ryan almost didn’t trust himself to speak because Brendon shouldn’t be allowed to be so beautiful. It was driving Ryan insane. Sure, they made out the previous night, and Ryan was _kindasortareally_ falling for the Hawaiian, but Brendon was making it really difficult for Ryan to keep himself from jumping Brendon to have his dirty way. And Brendon wasn’t even doing anything. 

“Sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up this morning.” Brendon apologized, walking up the stairs with Ryan following him like a shadow. “The other tourist guide who was supposed to be working today didn’t feel too good.” Ryan nodded, reaching the top and falling in step with Brendon to his room. “I hope I get a chance to try again though.” He turned back to Ryan with a smile, walking backwards into the room. 

“Maybe.” Ryan smiled back, walking into the room he had woken up in twice. Brendon just gave a partially evil grin, walking to his dresser and pulling some clothes out as Ryan took a seat on the bed, watching Brendon walk into the bathroom with the clothes in his arms.

“Be back out in a few minutes,” he said before pushing the door shut; not giving enough force so Ryan could still see into it some. If he was looking that way, at least. 

Which, of course he was looking that way, because Ryan could just so happen to see Brendon strip the soaked swim trunks from his body; and he couldn’t take his eyes away if he tried. 

**-==-==-==-**

“So, I think I’m entitled to knowing more about you.” Brendon said, finger’s laced with Ryan’s as they slowly walked along the road towards the house. Ryan decided he was staying at the hotel though because one, he was paying for the room, and two, he didn’t want to get too close to Brendon too fast so he couldn’t spend every night with him. Night until morning, at least. It was currently eleven. 

“Why?” Ryan asked, walking on the dirt while Brendon took the paved road since Brendon decided to go barefoot; holding his shoes in his other hand. The stars were speckled across the dark night sky above them as they walked back from the unusually romantic like outdoor restaurant Brendon had taken him to. 

“Because I’m bored senseless.” Brendon teased, Ryan smiling and shoving Brendon so he stumbled on the road a bit. “I feel like there’s a bunch to know about you so I want to know.” He shrugged after he regained his footing. Ryan told him not to take his shoes off because there was no knowing what was laying on the ground in the dark, but Brendon decided to be a hippie and do it anyway. 

“There’s nothing thrilling to know.” Ryan told him, shaking his head so his bangs caught on the breeze and left his face. Brendon scoffed, starting to swing his and Ryan’s linked hands.

“Come on, Ryan.” Brendon skipped a few steps, turning back towards Ryan who had to stretch his arm out, nearly tripping, to Brendon’s sudden movement. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“I used to dream of being famous.” Ryan answered a little quietly, Brendon stilling to wait until Ryan’s body was parallel to his before walking again. “Of being a musician.”

“What stopped you?” Brendon asked, turning his head to look at Ryan who stared straight ahead, his face basked in the moon’s glow.

“Life.” Ryan shrugged. “School.” Ryan looked down to the ground. “Pete,” he mumbled; Brendon stopping again and forcing Ryan to stop. Ryan looked at him with confusion, Brendon pulling his hand from Ryan’s to wrap his arms around him in a tight hug. “Brendon?” Ryan asked confusedly, Brendon squeezing him then loosening his grip as he exhaled against Ryan’s shoulder.

“He really hurt you.” Brendon whispered into the fabric of Ryan’s shirt. 

“It’s in the past…” Ryan tried to avoid having a similar conversation to the one he had with William earlier. Brendon just hugged him tightly again. Ryan didn’t really mind Brendon being in his space though; he just wished he wasn’t getting crushed beneath Brendon’s muscles. Don’t get him wrong, he loved feeling Brendon’s muscles against his body, but he didn’t like feeling as though he was going to snap in half. 

“It doesn’t matter when it happened,” he said. “What matters is it did and Pete really hurt you. You shouldn’t have had to put up with him.” Brendon told Ryan, making him want to hug Brendon back. But he couldn’t because his arms were being flattened against his body; not to mention Ryan wasn’t sappy like Brendon. At least, he didn’t try to be. “You deserve so much more than whatever Pete was to you.” Ryan definitely didn’t feel like crying. “ _So much more_.”

“Bren;” Ryan quietly interrupted him. “It’s getting late.” Brendon released him, Ryan suddenly able to breathe again. “We should probably get back.” 

“Don’t waste your time with anyone that’s going to hurt you,” Brendon said, looking straight into Ryan’s eyes and brushing his hair back; concern and seriousness filling his large brown iris’. “You’re worth so much more than you value yourself at, Ryan. Just please tell me you won’t let anyone else hurt you like Pete did.” Ryan swore his heart skipped a beat at that instance.

Leaning forward, Ryan pressed his lips against Brendon’s lightly, Brendon kissing back forcefully yet tenderly; just as Ryan needed. “I won’t,” he whispered, letting his forehead lean against Brendon’s for a moment as he gathered himself. Brendon had only known him a few days yet he cared more than most people in Ryan’s life did. “I promise.” Ryan pulled back, both staring at each other for a moment before silently turning back towards the house to finish their walk. 

_I know you won’t,_ Ryan thought to himself a moment later; unable to get the words to leave his mouth. When he glanced at Brendon, the younger man gave him a soft smile and a reassuring squeeze of his hand, Ryan’s gut twisting as he looked back towards the road. He wished Brendon wasn’t so gentle and perfect. 

It was getting increasingly harder to think about leaving him. 

About not falling in love with him.


	8. Day Seven

**Day Seven**

It had taken Ryan awhile to fall asleep, managing to drift off in the early hours of the morning when the moon began to fall instead of climb higher into the sky. His mind was whirling with a storm of thoughts, each of which held a different emotion, sprawled on the perfectly made bed of the hotel room with his hands folded over his abdomen and ankles crossed; staring blankly at the shroud of darkness between himself and the ceiling. Besides the distant crashing of waves and the all-too-expected noises from the room right beside his, Ryan would complain at about later, it was quiet which Ryan enjoyed as much as he hated it; left alone to the string of thoughts and rationalities keeping his exhausted body awake. 

Ryan didn't know what annoyed him more; the fact that if he opened a dictionary and looked up the word 'perfect' that he would no doubt find a picture of Brendon, or the fact that regardless of his mental battling and futile resistance he was falling for Brendon. The only good thing was that at least Ryan didn't have far to fall because he was going down hard and quickly. 

The biggest opposition Ryan had to falling for Brendon was that it was roughly two weeks ago that he was supposed to stand before a minister, dressed as nicely as he could, to exchange vows and a golden ring with who at the time he thought to be his true love. It was too soon for Ryan to even consider another relationship, let alone be prompted with one by the very essence of perfection; and he most definitely shouldn't have made out with said perfection while practically naked.

Ryan Ross was many things, but he was in no way a whore. 

The side all for Brendon had more supportive details than Jon had cameras. Brendon was amazingly gorgeous with flawless skin and abs far past drool-worthy. His hair was shiny, lips tender and soft, eyes large and loving, and color the perfect blend of honey and caramel due to spending countless hours beneath the sun. But there was so much more to Brendon that Ryan would only be a fool to not consider in his mental fight with himself. 

Brendon had every quality that Ryan not only wanted in a lover, but also what he needed. Regardless of how independent Ryan acted or made himself out to be, he, like most every human bearing the most ancient and primitive of instincts, craved intimate contact with another human being; physical, mental, and emotional. Though Ryan liked being alone, he also loved being held in someone's arms, knowing that he was loved and protected. Brendon did it perfectly; a strong yet still gentle grip around Ryan's body, holding him close yet still maintaining distance for each's personal space the night Ryan willingly stayed. 

On top of that, a slew of words darted across Ryan's mind like gas particles that tipped the scale in the 'yes' favor of the situation. Brendon was kind, helpful, beautiful, sweet, charming, funny, supportive, loyal, trustworthy, cheery, bright, witty, loving, intelligent, generous; all of which were shown through Brendon's friends and belongings if not himself. Beside some shyness, Ryan only ever felt comfortable and ultimately relaxed around Brendon; something he never really got with Pete. 

Ryan really had to stop comparing the two because they weren't a comparison. They were in no way equal or even remotely close to being anything such. Brendon was far more superior in every way Ryan's brain developed than Pete. Though knowing him less than a week, Ryan knew Brendon wasn't the type to cheat; unlike Pete. Plus, Brendon was more pleasing to look at, spoke kind and truly, and always seemed to hold Ryan's, or anyone involved, best interest when around; again unlike Pete. Pete only cared for and about himself.

Sighing, Ryan turned onto his side and pulled his knees to his chest, placing his hands beneath his head on the pillow. A meaningless yet heavy tear rolled from Ryan's eye down to his hand, his lids finally meeting at long last to seal the rest of the salty liquid inside. Despite his stomach clenching and his heart loudly thumping against his ribs, mind still spinning and body shaking with tiny chills, it didn't take long for sleep to claim Ryan; only blackness filling what were often pain-filled dreams. 

**_==_==_==_**

Only a few hours passed before the sun was bright and Ryan awoke, pushing himself into a sitting position, rubbing his burry vision away and yawning. He reached absently for his cellphone which sat charging on the nightstand, flipping it open to check the time to find he had a missed call and voicemail from Brendon; smiling lazily because it was a good thing to see when first waking up. Instead of listening to the message though, Ryan deleted it and almost immediately located Brendon's name in his contacts, pressing the green phone button to call him. 

"Hello?" Brendon's very-much awake but not so overly happy voice followed the first few rings.

"Hi." Ryan yawned, using his free hand to rub his eyes again. "S'Ryan. You called?"

"Oh, yeah, hey Ryan." Brendon's voice became a tad bit cheerier. "Did you listen to my message?" 

"No; accidentally deleted it." Ryan smiled, getting a small, almost forced sounding laugh from Brendon. 

"Well I completely forgot what day it was and I know I say you guys could use it, but I kinda need the car for a few hours." Ryan didn't miss the anxiety Brendon was trying to mask.

"Of course; it's your car." Ryan replied, covering his mouth as he yawned again; body only have gotten four, maybe five hours of sleep that night. "Where are you going?" 

"To my, uh, sisters," Brendon said, voice heavy with hesitation. "She lives about an hour from here so I'll be gone probably the whole morning." Ryan felt his stomach turn. "I hope you don't mind. I forgot what day it was until I woke up this morning." 

"No...yeah, of course I don't mind." Ryan shook his head even if Brendon couldn't see it. "Your sister is family so...yeah." he tried not to sound disappointed. 

"Are you mad?" Brendon asked with a fearful sort of quiet.

"No." Ryan lied, a talent he was not-so-proudly skilled at. "Why would I be?"

"Because I didn't tell you I would be gone for a few hours until, like, five minutes ago, and we've been hanging out the past few days," Brendon replied. 

"It's only a few hours." Ryan shrugged, trying to assure himself more, really. "We can always hang out when you get back. I'm sure I can find something to do."

"You sure?" There was still that fear and hesitation that Ryan couldn't help but smile at because just imagining the look on Brendon's face was what Ryan would definitely call adorable.

"I'm guessing you go to your sisters often-"

"Once a month." Brendon cut him off. "Every second Saturday." 

"So it's your routine, Bren. I wouldn't stop you." Ryan got off his bed to try and walk off the heavy feeling he was getting from the conversation. It wasn't exactly a feeling of jealousy but more a feeling of possession; that he wanted Brendon all to himself every second of every day. "Therefore I'll have to wait for you to come back." 

"Well...I mean..." Brendon exhaled slowly into the phone. "You could...if you wanted...come with me." Ryan stopped in front of the glass door, slowly allowing the slightly devilish smile to come over his lips. "It won't be the most adventurous or fun of trips or anything but..."

"Do you want me to come?" Ryan asked, tucking his right arm beneath his left elbow, holding it against his body while looking at the ocean sparkling in the distance.

"I've only tried to spend every minute possible with you since Bill introduced us." Brendon nervously laughed. "Just...my sister and I are very different and..."

"If you want me to come, I will." Ryan could tell there was tension between Brendon and his sister which would account for the ever present anxious tone throughout the phone call. "I don't mind. Car rides can be boring alone, anyway; especially long ones." Ryan didn't care if he sounded desperate. 

"Yeah...yeah." Brendon exhaled more swiftly, Ryan imagining him nodding. "Okay; so, ten minutes?"

"Sure." A flood of excitement and endorphins washed over Ryan. He didn't know why Brendon went to his sisters once a month but he wasn't going to ask because Brendon sounded stressed enough. He would find out soon enough anyway. 

"Alright; bye." And before Ryan could even reply, the line went dead. Still smiling, Ryan shut his phone and tossed it to the bed, going to the dresser holding his freshly cleaned clothes to find something to wear; most definitely not seeking clothes for hate he hoped the evening would play out to be. 

**_==_==_==_**

Ryan was dressed and ready in record time; wearing only a white t-shirt with a low v-cut collar beneath a loose simple brown vest, unbuttoned, a pair of tight skinny jeans, a gray hobo hat, flip-flops he didn't even know he had with him, and the sunglasses Brendon bought him. He didn't bother telling Jon and Spencer that he was leaving because they would figure it out on their own, driving to Brendon's house with the car that Brendon requested for whatever reason. 

Ryan wasn't going to argue. 

When he arrived at the large, beautiful home, Ryan stopped in front of the porch and got out; switching the car off but leaving the keys in the ignitions since they would probably be leaving soon anyway. Ryan quickly adjusted his clothes and headed for the door, knocking twice then entering since the door was open. He was about to call for Brendon but noticed Gabe and William curled up tightly together on the couch, soundly sleeping beneath a blanket already gathering on the floor.

Ryan let his mind replace the two with him and Brendon; but only for a minute. 

Taking his sunglasses off to have better vision in the low-lit home, Ryan moved quietly across the floor towards the kitchen searching for Brendon. It would have been a lot easier if Brendon's house wasn't such a grand, complicated maze. But every room was so beautiful that Ryan didn't mind winding around and through the rooms he was vaguely familiar with. 

It was upstairs that Ryan finally located the man, Brendon emerging from a room always closed; pulling the door shut behind him. He jumped with surprise when he saw Ryan, smiling and walking to him a moment later. "So Hawaii has this really hot sun always shining down," Brendon placed his hands on Ryan's hips and kissed him, "But these jeans are way hotter." Ryan fought off blush, kissing Brendon back.

Fuck all his mental contradictions. 

"You all ready to go?" Ryan asked, pulling back to keep his jeans from getting any tighter. Granted, beauty hurt, but Ryan wasn't going to make it any worse. Brendon drew a deep breath, exhaling into a smile and nodding, stealing one more kiss before releasing Ryan's hips and taking his hand; both heading back downstairs to the living room.

Brendon released Ryan and walked to the sleeping couple, grabbing the blanket and tossing it to the other couch; Ryan glad they were both at least in boxers. Standing to the side, Ryan watched Brendon bend over the two and loudly exclaim, "Wake up!" He instantly stepped back as both men jolted awake, William toppling over the side and to the floor. "I'm leaving now and taking Ryan with me." 

"Fuckin' asshole," Gabe muttered as he relaxed again, William whining on the floor in agreement. "We were sleeping, Urie." he frowned, eyes falling shut once more. Ryan had to press the back of his hand to his mouth to keep quiet. 

"You have a bed for a reason," Brendon said calmly, nudging William with his foot. "I'll be back in a few hours. And, again, Ryan's coming with me if anyone wants to know where he is." William only whined more, slowly sitting up onto his knees then pulling himself to the couch where he molded against Gabe as though nothing happened. Brendon rolled his eyes and shook his head, sighing. "You both better be dressed or upstairs when we get back." his stern tone almost scared Ryan. 

Leaving his friends again, Brendon went back to Ryan, taking his hand and heading for the door as William and Gabe went back to sleep on the couch. Ryan let himself be dragged out the door and to the car, Brendon pulling the passenger door open for Ryan but preventing him from getting in as he suddenly wrapped his arms around the older man, pressing his face into Ryan's shoulder. "Thanks," he breathed into Ryan's shirt, the thin material allowing the warmth to pass. 

"You're, uh, welcome?" Ryan answered confusedly, putting his arms around Brendon as well. Brendon hummed, pulling Ryan tighter against him, making Ryan's breathing a little more labored. They stood like that for a few minutes, Brendon breathing heavily against Ryan's shoulder, Ryan taking to lightly tracing absent patterns on Brendon's lower back. He knew that, for whatever reason, Brendon just needed the physical contact; Ryan had been there many times. 

"Thank you," Brendon repeated before releasing Ryan and forcing a smile, Ryan smiling back for the sake of not upsetting Brendon more, getting into the car. Brendon shut the door then walked around the back, Ryan glancing in the rear view mirror and catching Brendon rub his eyes quickly as he made it to the other side, yanking the driver's door open and dropping into the seat; starting the car. 

Ryan buckled up, putting his sunglasses back on, watching everything slowly start to pass them by as Brendon headed back to the road. From the corner of his eye he could see how Brendon was upset, on the edge some still, so he reached over and but his hand on Brendon's leg. Brendon looked at him, softly smiling after a moment, placing his left hand on the wheel and dropping his right down to Ryan's. He wove his fingers into Ryan's and lifted Ryan's hand to his mouth, softly kissing the pale skin then lowering both back to his leg; squeezing Ryan's hand momentarily. 

The ride was silent and a little tense, but Ryan was just fine how he was because it seemed to be what Brendon needed and for once, Ryan was going to be the supportive one. 

**_==_==_==_**

After about an hour and a half of driving past small neighborhoods and tons of beautiful scenery, Brendon pulled into the driveway of a home drastically smaller than his own, releasing Ryan's hand to shut the vehicle off. "You don't have to," Brendon unbuckled himself, "But it'll probably be better if you stay back. I mean, you don't have to stay in the car the whole time but my sister..."

"It's okay," Ryan said quietly. "I don't mind." Brendon obviously didn't want Ryan to find something out inside the home, and it wasn't like Brendon was going to be disappearing. "It's nice out anyway." Ryan gave a tiny playful smile, Brendon returning the gesture with one of his own. 

Brendon leaned over to give Ryan a light, quick kiss, pushing his door open. "Just please...don't hate me..." he practically pleaded in a quiet, fearful voice, not giving Ryan a chance to answer before slipping out and pushing the door shut again. Ryan watched him walk to the door, giving it a couple knocks before letting himself inside; shutting the door behind him. 

Frowning, Ryan undid his own belt and pushed his door open to leave the car, walking around to the front of the driver's side, leaning back against the warm metal. Ryan crossed his arms and stared at the house, nothing how paint was chipping and things were cracked; curtains pulled tightly over the windows so Ryan couldn't see inside. The houses around Brendon's sister's were in similar condition, all livable but nowhere near as beautiful and fresh as Brendon's. 

Loud voices drifted out in muted tones, Ryan shivering as he tried not to imagine what was going on inside. Just the thought of Brendon being angry was too much for Ryan to even contemplate, tipping his head back to look at the seagulls flying overhead in attempt to distract himself. Even through the tinted glasses though the sun was shining brightly down, forcing Ryan to drop his head back to a level position; just in time to see the door pull open. 

Ryan was surprised to see Brendon emerge with not only an angry look but a young girl in his arms. He bit the inside of his lip to keep himself from letting his jaw fall in question. Brendon shifted to girl to one him and pulled the door closed behind them, the slam ringing out, muttering something beneath his breath as he headed back towards Ryan, kissing the girl's head. "Who's that?" she asked, pointing to Ryan. 

"That is my new friend, Ryan," Brendon said, face relaxing to a smile. "Ryan," Brendon stopped before him, "This is my niece, Amelia. Mia, Ryan." 

"You're pretty," Mia said in a light, high-pitched observing tone, studying Ryan over. "Like a girl." Ryan knew his face wasn't warm from just the sun, not knowing what to reply with. Mia was a cute little girl; she had very blue eyes, like Spencer, and extremely curly red hair pulled into two pony tails hanging down on either side of her freckle-covered cheeks. 

"Mia, be nice," Brendon scolded her, lifting her up more. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you but Amelia comes to stay with me for one weekend a month." There was something in Brendon's voice that told Ryan not to ask any questions until the time was right. 

"Do you like boys like Uncle B?" Amelia casually asked Ryan, catching him off guard. There was only curiosity in the young girl's face as she held onto Brendon's shirt for support, Ryan swallowing hard because he didn't know what to say to that either. He had never been asked that by such a young person before.

"Amelia Rose!" Brendon scolded her again, giving his niece a pointed look. "That's rude to ask someone, young lady." Mia huffed and scowled at Brendon who merely lifted an eyebrow, the sight rather amusing to Ryan. "Want to go see Uncle Bill and Gabe now?" Brendon's expression softened a few moments later, Amelia perking up again. 

"Uncle Bill's here?!" she excitedly asked, squirming in Brendon's arms, causing the man to laugh.

"Yep." Brendon kissed the child's head, making her push his face away with disgust. "But you can't play with him if you're not nice to Ryan, got it? No more questions."

"One more?" Amelia gave Brendon the most ridiculously adorable pleading look, Ryan smiling softly despite his fear. Brendon looked to Ryan questioningly so Ryan silently sighed and nodded. It couldn't get much worse. 

"One more and that's it because we need to leave." his tone was unmoving. Amelia beamed and looked to Ryan, making the man's stomach twist suddenly. 

"Are you and Uncle B dating?" she asked, eyes sparkling with the reflection of the sun. Brendon rolled his eyes and pulled open the back door, sticking Amelia inside and trapping her in, ignoring her protests as Ryan thought the question over. He and Brendon weren't dating, were they? You don't have to date someone to make out with or touch or constantly kiss them. Right? 

"I'm sorry about her." Brendon apologized to Ryan, leaning back against the door so Amelia couldn't open it. "She can be...difficult, but she's really a great kid." Ryan felt something tugging him towards Brendon, as though to hug him or kiss him or _something_.

"I think she's cute," Ryan said instead, because really, she was. And the way Brendon visibly relaxed told Ryan that he gave Brendon the reassurance he was searching for with the other man. "So; home?" Ryan asked, pushing off the car.

"Yeah." Brendon lightly laughed, getting off the car as well. "Home." 

**_==_==_==_**

No sooner did Brendon have the car stopped in front of his house did Amelia have herself unbuckled, jumping from the car and running up towards the door. Brendon laughed and pulled the keys out, shaking his head. "William is Mia's favorite person in the whole world." he explained as Ryan unbuckled himself.

"How old is she?" Ryan asked, the ride back being filled with more awkward questions despite her uncle's words and no answerers from Ryan who really didn't know what to say.

"Six," Brendon answered, leaning back in the seat. "Though she acts so much older." Ryan nodded agreement. Not too many six year olds understood and accepted a gay relationship; especially not someone related to them. "I'm sorry again for all the questions. Mia's very straight forward." he nervously laughed, the screen door pushing back to reveal William's dressed, tall form holing Amelia who looked like the happiest child ever with one arm. 

He carried her to the car, the two men getting out, Mia's giggling filling the air. "Some wild animal wandered into your house, Bren." Bill teased, Mia giggling louder. "You might want to bring it back to the zoo."

"Uncle Bill!" Mia laughed, wiggling around and making William lift her properly so she didn't fall. "I'm not a wild animal! S'me! Mia!" she exclaimed, William pretending to be shocked. 

"You can't be my Mia!" he shook his head. " _My_ Mia is a lot smaller and doesn't have so much pretty hair!" The girl laughed even harder, Bill smiling and wrapping one arm around her waist to lift his free hand and tickle her. Mia kicked her legs and tried to push his hand away, bending backwards to let her long pigtails dangle towards the ground; face nice and red. 

"Careful." Brendon warned, going around the car to stand beside Ryan. "I'm hungry and Mia needs something to eat anyway so back inside." he slipped his hand into Ryan's, squeezing momentarily as William adjusted Amelia to hold her in more of a cradling position; Mia slowly calming down as she curled against him. Brendon guided Ryan towards the house, both men missing the look Amelia shared with Bill; the man only smiling and nodding as he followed them back into the house with his favorite not-blood-but-still niece. 

**_==_==_==_**

Lunch really didn't last long because Amelia begged Brendon to head down to the beach, Brendon finally giving into the child's whining and begging after she ate half a sandwich and some grapes. She insisted sitting between Ryan and William while eating too, Ryan finding it amusing how jealous Gabe looked about it all. Bill was giving Mia all his attention, making her smile and laugh everything he could think of, barely even looking in his boyfriend's direction the entirety of the half hour they had been back so far. 

It also seemed to become a habit that Ryan didn't go anywhere without Brendon's hand in his; the younger man always grabbing Ryan's hand, holding it a bit tighter than he should, occasionally squeezing it but hardly looking at Ryan as they walked, or really, Ryan got led. Normally Ryan would have bitched or at least said something about not being some dog to get dragged around on a whim, but the way Brendon held onto him and walked, along with the subtle movements Ryan caught in the corner of his eyes, made him keep quiet and just go along with it.

When they all got down by the water, Amelia latched onto Ryan's free hand, already clasping William's, half skipping along the path, swinging both their arms. Gabe walked miserably behind them, carrying his bottle of vodka which sloshed around as he moved, muttering to himself indistinct words Ryan couldn't really hear. "Will you build a sand castle with me and Uncle Bill, Ryan?" Mia asked, glancing up at him.

"Uh..." Ryan looked down, cursing God for making children so damn irresistible when they used that coined 'puppy-dog' look which had been perfected over the years. "Sure; why not." he smiled, Amelia's face lighting up again. "As long as your Uncle Brendon doesn't mind." Ryan smirked at Brendon who looked out of it.

"Can Ryan build a sand castle with me?" Mia whined, looking around Ryan to her uncle. 

"Of course he can." Brendon's smile wasn't exactly convincing. "As long as he wants to."

"Yay!" Mia chimed, thrusting her arms into the air, lifting Ryan and William's arms into the air as well. They got to the end of the pathway when Amelia decided to run to the muddy sand, ripping her hand from Ryan's and tugging Will along with her; Bill almost falling as his long legs made him stumble. Ryan stopped, making Brendon stop too, waiting for Gabe to absently wander to the shaded chair to sit down.

"Are you okay?" Ryan asked, looking to Brendon with concern.

"Yeah; why wouldn't I be?" Brendon gave a forced laugh, avoiding directly looking at Ryan. 

"Bren..." Ryan's eyebrows pulled together some. "I know I've only known you a few days and all, but I can tell when something's...not right." he searched for the right words. "And, you know, it's weird not seeing you all happy and everything." Ryan shrugged, looking down as though he was embarrassed. 

"It's...complicated." Brendon sighed, taking Ryan's other hand. "My sister just stresses me out sometimes." Ryan looked up at Brendon again, the man's smile completely gone and face slightly sunken. "No big deal."

"Well, you know," Ryan rubbed circles on Brendon's hands with his thumbs, "If you need someone to talk to..." Brendon let his eyes lock with Ryan's, a tiny sparkle of happiness flushing through them, giving a little genuine smile to Ryan; looking like he was going to burst into tears any moment. 

"Thanks." he whispered, exhaling loudly then moving his hands to Ryan's hips and pulled the other man close. Brendon gently pressed his lips to Ryan's, locking him in the most passionate kiss Ryan had ever experienced; trying not to let his mind use the cliché term of 'fireworks' as a description. To keep him there, Ryan put his arms around Brendon's neck, neither moving until both their lungs were about to collapse. Brendon gave a bigger smile, laughing slightly, pressing his forehead against Ryan's and letting his eyes shut. "If only I never had to let you go." Brendon whispered more.

Ryan's heart skipped a beat; or several. 

He was about to open his mouth to say something, anything, but was unable to get a word out before Amelia yelled, "Come on, Ryan," from where she sat in the sand with Bill. Brendon stood straight again, dropping his hands and pushing his bangs from his face; Ryan catching him quickly wipe his eyes at the same time. 

"Go," he said, nodding towards his niece. "I've got to wax some boards anyway." Ryan felt his stomach drop because he wanted to feel that amazing kiss again and to just hold Brendon close to him more. "Mia really likes yo. She usually doesn't take so well to new people." 

"I'll make sure she controls herself." Ryan teased, wanting Brendon to cheer up. He liked Brendon's peppy attitude and optimism, even if he wouldn't directly admit it. "So you don't have to be jealous or anything." Brendon wrapped himself around Ryan again.

"Mine," he muttered, kissing Ryan again. The strange part was that Ryan kind of liked how Brendon used a possessive tone; as though claiming him in an animalistic way. Ryan really kind of loved it. "At least for another week, you're mine," Brendon said, Ryan tensing at the words.

He forgot he was supposed to be on his 'honeymoon', or, as Spencer said, his 'vacation', and would be leaving in a week.

"Yours," Ryan mumbled back, feeling the world melt around them as their lips practically fused together.

"Ewwww!" Amelia's voice broke Ryan's serene mental state, Brendon pulling away to laugh to himself.

"Go play nice with my niece." Brendon turned Ryan towards the beach and gave him a tiny shove. "She'll only get more persistent the longer you ignore her anyway." Ryan didn't like children for this very reason; they always ruined the best moments. Young ones, at least. He was a high school English teacher so he had to at least like kids a little bit. Though, his students often irritated him too. 

"C'mon, Ryan!" Mia yelled again, motioning him over, bright plastic toys scattered all around her and William who was already digging into the sand. "We're going to make the biggest and bestest castle ever!" she exclaimed, William offering a bemused smile as he looked up, pushing his long hair back behind his ear. 

Laughing, Ryan looked back to see Brendon already heading off towards the little shed, posture less miserable than it had been, making Ryan feel lighter as he made his way through the moveable ground towards the two. Mia already had a tool waiting for him, holding it up in the air. Ryan fell to his knees, sticking his sunglasses on his head and used the shovel to assist William in the digging. "So, Ryan;" Mia prompted a few moments later. "Sure you're not dating Uncle Brendon?" 

**_==_==_==_**

"Your building skills suck, Bill," Gabe said, eyes having been glued to William the entire morning. "I'm never letting you into a home improvement store. I've seen better looking cardboard boxes than whatever you're doing there."

"Be nice to Uncle Bill!" Amelia scowled, glaring at Gabe. "Our castle is beautiful!"

"Looks like a pile of sand." Gabe shrugged, taking another drink from his bottle. "For the past half hour you've been making a larger and larger pile of sand." 

"Drinking's bad for you," Mia said, going back to her packing of sand into the castle-shaped bucket.

"Talking's bad for you." Gabe answered simply.

"Alcohol kills you." Mia stated a little harshly, flipping the bucket and tapping the sides to loosen the sand, slowly lifting the plastic as the sand kept the shape of the inside. "The more you drink, the faster you die." 

"The more you talk, the faster you die." William shot Gabe a hard look. "It's true, Bilvy. Talking uses oxygen and oxygen is needed to survive. The more talking, the more oxygen used, and the less oxygen the body has to survive. Thus, talking kills you." 

"Gabriel Saporta, if you don't shut your mouth very soon you _will_ be sleeping on the couch, _alone_ , for the remainder of this stay in Hawaii!" Bill warned him, both Amelia and Ryan tried to hide smiles as they worked. "Mia's right anyway. Alcohol is bad for you; especially the way you drink." Amelia turned back towards Gabe, sticking her tongue out. Gabe, frowning from being scolded, sneered at the child and stuck his tongue out as well; shoving the bottle into the sand next to him. 

"Do you like alcohol, Ryan?" Amelia asked, looking curiously at him. 

"Nope," he answered, shaking his head while creating a moat. Mia smiled and went back to working on another tower for the castle. It actually looked pretty nice; considering they were following a six-year-old's constructive instructions. Ryan liked working with Brendon better though. 

"Good 'cause Uncle B doesn't like people who like alcohol." Mia set the tower beside the first. "There!" Amelia burst, making Ryan jump and look at the girl who was already on her feet. "It's finished! Isn't it beautiful?!" 

"Best castle I've ever seen," Bill said, regardless of the cracks and crumbling areas where the sand was losing moisture.

"I'd love to live there," Ryan said after, Amelia flashing a big, uneven, slightly gapped smile. 

"You can!" Mia chimed. "Uncle Bill can be the king, you can be the queen, and I'll be the princess!" She excitedly explained, Ryan and William exchanging a look before laughing.

"Guess we're married now," Ryan said jokingly.

"Guess we are." Will nodded, Gabe scoffing and crossing his arms.

"Still looks like a pile of dirt," he mumbled just loud enough for them to hear. 

"Let's go get Uncle B!" Mia reached towards Ryan, implying she wanted his hand. Ryan obliged and took the smaller hand into his own, standing up and brushing the sand off his clothes, letting Amelia guide him towards the shed where Brendon was almost furiously spreading wax over his multitude of surfing boards. 

"Uncle Brendon gets mad at my mommy because she drinks lots and sometimes forgets 'bout me." Mia suddenly told Ryan as they walked, swinging their hands; curly hair being pushed in the light breeze. "He also doesn't like mommy gettin' a new boyfriend lots 'cause sometimes they hurt mommy." Ryan really didn't know what to say; especially to such a young girl. "Mommy says Uncle Brendon wants me to live here with him so they argue lots."

"Your Uncle Brendon really loves you," Ryan said, trying not to stare at Brendon's bare chest.

"He loves you too." Mia caught Ryan off guard, his legs freezing almost as quickly as the rest of him. Mia was only six and just rambling; her words really didn't mean much since she couldn't understand such a complicated emotion anyway. Ryan's only known Brendon an astounding five or so days; that whole 'love at first sight' being a bunch of bullshit. "Do you love Uncle Brendon, Ryan?" Mia asked, Ryan looking down to see large blue eyes staring up at him.

"Well...I...I really like your Uncle Brendon." he hesitantly answered, brain not functioning. "But love...that takes awhile, Mia." Ryan tried to keep it simple for her. "We haven't known each other long enough to really love each other."

"But you will?" she asked, looking almost desperate. Ryan wished she wasn't so adorable. "You will love him after awhile, right Ryan?"

Ryan didn't reply. 

**_==_==_==_**

The sun was setting when they headed back to the house, William and Gabe staying on the beach to 'make up' the lack of personal time with each other that day; Gabe continuously bitching until Bill gave in. Ryan picked up the toys and walked behind Brendon who carried Amelia on his back, thinking about what the child had told him earlier not only about her mother but about Brendon loving him and him loving Brendon. It's not that Ryan didn't want to be in love with someone, it was more he was afraid of it. Love was one of those things where you give yourself completely to someone else. He just didn't want to do that and be broken again. He was still healing from the last time. 

"Can Ryan stay the night, Uncle Brendon? Please?!" Amelia pleaded as soon as Ryan stepped into the house, Brendon setting his niece on the wooden floors. "I've been a good girl today!" 

"You'll have to ask Ryan if he wants to," Brendon said, heading for the cupboard, pulling out some cups then opening the refrigerator. "All of his clothes and everything are at his hotel." Brendon purposely added, giving Ryan a quick smirk then pouring some juice into each of the cups. Before Ryan could even step away from the glass doors, Mia was wrapped around his legs, chin pressing into his stomach and smiling up at him.

"Wanna stay the night Ryan?!" she eagerly asked, arms locked around his waist as though he didn't have a choice in the matter anyway. He probably didn't. "Uncle Brendon or Uncle Bill or even the other one has _something_ you can wear tomorrow 'cause my clothes will be too small for you." Ryan had to laugh at how Amelia referred to Gabe as 'the other one'. It's not like she didn't know his name. "Please?!" she begged him. 

"I guess." He sighed, smiling down at her. Amelia squeezed him for a moment, letting him go and running to the island in the kitchen, pulling herself into one of the seats. Ryan followed, setting the beach toys on the ground by the door, and sat in the seat beside Amelia as the girl sat on her knees to grab the drink her uncle offered to her before it was even able to reach the counter. 

**_==_==_==_**

Ryan found himself upstairs on the balcony right outside Brendon's room, lying in the hammock beneath the darkening sky with Amelia lying on top of him. Her head was on his chest, body between his legs, absently playing with his fingers as the sound of Brendon's angered voice drifted up to them. His sister called and it didn't take long for things to get loud and angry, Ryan noticing how silent Mia went, looking down at the counter they were sitting at in the kitchen, as though she was upset but used to the shouting. She probably was.

After a few minutes, Ryan couldn't stand not only listening to Brendon fight with his sister in the other room, but also seeing how upset Amelia looked beside him, and suggested they find something to do; a distraction. Mia just nodded and slid from the seat, taking Ryan's hand, and silently led him upstairs. He thought that maybe they were going to her room, but Mia led him to Brendon's instead, a room all-too-known to Ryan by now. And thus, they ended up rocking gently in the hammock on the balcony.

"Ryan?" Mia's voice was quiet and small, the typical tone of a fearful child.

"Hmm?" he hummed, staring up at the stars beginning to cover the sky as the sun disappeared. 

"Where do you live?" she asked, pulling his fingers apart with her much smaller hands.

"Las Vegas," Ryan answered, knowing Mia was looking for something to drown out her uncle with. 

"Like Uncle Bill," Mia said, Ryan humming a small 'mm-hmmm'."Where's Las Vegas?" she then asked, bending his knuckles. 

"Nevada." 

"Where's that?" Ryan smiled because, oh yeah, she's six and lives in a state comprised of islands.

"North America," he tried, knuckles cracking as Mia squeezed them. "It's where most of the United States are located, but North America also includes Canada and Mexico." 

"Is Las Vegas pretty?" Amelia inquired after.

"Really pretty." Ryan nodded, thinking about the strip. "There are lots and lots of buildings that light up with a bunch of bright colors which look really nice at night when it's dark. There are even fountains that light up." Though he lived on the outskirts of the actual city, he'd been along the strip plenty of times. "Vegas is also very crowded and very busy."

"Do you like Hawaii?"

"Yes, I do," Ryan said honestly. "It's very pretty here too and I like how it's not so busy." 

"Do you like Hawaii more than Vegas?" Amelia poked her fingers between Ryan's, weaving them as their palms pressed together.

"I like them both the same." Ryan did like Vegas, but he liked Hawaii a lot too. Of course, the latter part had part to do with a certain person he'd been spending the majority of his time with lately. Mia seemed content enough with the answer, Ryan feeling her wince when a loud crashing noise erupted beneath them. 

"I wish mommy didn't get so mad at Uncle Brendon all the time," Mia said after. "She doesn't want me to see Uncle Brendon anymore but I like coming here." There weren't any words for Ryan to say because he was an outsider to the whole situation. "She already made daddy leave."

"How about a story; do you like stories, Mia?" Any longer listening to the child and Ryan would have started crying. She nodded, letting go of Ryan's hands to turn around and hug him instead, her cheek against his chest and arms around him. "What kind of stories do you like?" Being an English teacher, Ryan knew his fair share of tales.

"All kinds," she muttered, curling up as close to Ryan as she possibly could. Taking his hat off the little girl (she had kind of stolen it earlier) and letting it fall to the ground, Ryan put one arm around Amelia and one he used to somewhat pet her. "Tell me a princess story," Mia said as she nuzzled her face into his chest.

"I don't think I know any princess stories." Ryan gave a small laugh, staring up at the sky again. 

"Make one up." Mia told him. "That's what Uncle Brendon does."

"Okay..." Ryan really had to think. "There was once a princess-"

"No;" Mia cut him off, shaking her head. "It's 'spost to start with 'once upon a time'." Ryan could only laugh again.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who-"

"What's her name?" Amelia cut him off again.

"How about...Mia," Ryan said with a smile, the girl giggling into his chest. "Okay, so, once upon a time, there was a little princess named Mia who lived in a big castle overlooking all the land with her Uncle Brendon, who was king." He didn't feel like getting overly creative. 

"And her Uncle's boyfriend, Queen Ryan." Mia added, voice lighter than it had been. Ryan rolled his eyes but didn't object or argue. He had seen how that went earlier with Gabe; he had no chance of winning.

"Sure, why not." he sighed.

"And her Uncle, Prince Bill, and the servant, Gabe." Ryan laughed more. Amelia really disliked Gabe.

"Alright; let's try this again." he exhaled loudly before drawing a deep breath. "Once upon a time, there was a little princess named Mia, who lived in a big castle with her Uncle Brendon, who was the king, his boyfriend, Queen Ryan, the Prince, Mia's Uncle Bill, and the servant, Gabe." 

"Perfect," Mia said, pushing into his chest again.

"Princess Mia was the prettiest princess in all the land. She had long, curly red hair, big blue eyes, and cheeks covered in freckles or, as some people called them, kisses from the sun." Mia giggled again. "Everyone loved Princess Mia; except the servant Gabe. He was jealous that he wasn't as pretty as her." Ryan loved Mia's giggling; he hated seeing her so upset earlier that night. "But no one loved Princess Mia more than the king did.

"He did whatever he could to make sure Princess Mia was happy and safe, giving her what she wanted just to see her big smile and sparkling eyes." The stars now brightly shining mesmerized Ryan, letting his mind drift away as the words softly slipped from his mouth to create a world for both him and Mia to forget their problems in. "One bright beautiful day..." he didn't even realize he was still speaking, falling into a natural flow of words creating a story that eventually eased the child to sleep.

**_==_==_==_**

"Ryan;" the silence that had fallen over the two was broken by a soft voice, Ryan turning his head towards the doors separating the balcony and Brendon's bedroom to see Brendon standing there; basked in the moon's glow. "How long's Mia been asleep?" he whispered, walking towards the hammock with a gentle smile. Ryan didn't even realize Mia was out; he had gotten lost in the story he created for her then just...drifted. 

"Oh, uh;" Ryan looked down at Amelia who was still tightly curled around him. "Not long." he shrugged guessingly. 

"She really likes you," Brendon said, stroking some of Mia's hair back out of her face. "I'll take her to her bed." He reached around Ryan's body to pull Amelia away, sliding his hands up to lift her into his arms, Ryan feeling a small chill from the temperature change. Brendon held Mia right in his arms, the small girl curling around her uncle subconsciously, still asleep. "Thanks for, you know, distracting her." 

"Yeah, sure," Ryan said, moving into more of a sitting position, stifling a yawn. "I may have scarred her though with my attempt at a fairytale." Brendon laughed, rubbing Amelia's back with his free hand. 

"I'm sure you did fine," he assured Ryan, kissing Amelia's head. Ryan fought with the hammock to get up, almost falling off as he flipped over the side; only staying up from having clutched the fabric tightly. "Don't fall Ross," Brendon said with a hint of laughter, Ryan sticking his tongue out as he properly stood. 

Once he had his balance, Brendon led Ryan back through the house and into the hallway, heading towards the room Brendon emerged from earlier when Ryan first arrived. He stopped rubbing Mia's back to open the door, pushing it back and disappearing into the darkness before the light flipped on inside and Ryan joined him. Amelia's room was nothing short of the perfect little girls room; the only difference with hers to another girls probably being how neat and tidy it was. But Amelia only spent a weekend a month in it; if at all. 

The walls were bright pink, as was the carpet, with a border of fairies around the top and bottom. Sheer pink curtains hung from the windows, the casing around the walls, doors, and windows being an eggshell white. Amelia's bed, which sat in the far left corner opposite the entrance, was decorated with a Disney princess blanket and a plethora of stuffed animals; hidden behind long pink drapes surrounding three of its four sides. 

A closed chest sat at the foot of the bed, probably containing toys, with a large doll house sitting on top. A wooden bookshelf, small enough for Amelia to access, each shelf stocked with children's books, was pressed against the wall beside the dresser opposite the bed. The room was what Ryan always imagined a child's room to contain; gender specific, of course. 

Brendon carefully laid Mia onto the bed, untangling her sleepy body from his. She rolled onto her stomach and grabbed the pillow, clutching it securely in her arms, whining only once when Brendon had to yank the blanket from beneath her to cover her up. He whispered a goodnight then kissed her head, walking back to Ryan with tired eyes, taking Ryan's hand loosely into his own and exiting; pulling Amelia's door almost all the way shut after extinguishing the light. "So; do you want to stay or do you want me to bring you back to the hotel?" Brendon asked Ryan quietly, trying not to yawn.

"I told Mia I'd stay," he said with some confusion. Brendon merely shrugged, leaning back against the wall. "Besides, I think all this lack of sleep is finally catching up with you." Ryan amusedly smiled in observation. 

"'m barely tired," Brendon faintly replied; eyes already shut completely and head tipping forward some. 

"Clearly," Ryan said with sarcasm; smiling all the same. "But if you want me to go back to the hotel..." he let his voice trail off, taking slow steps towards the stairs; not getting real far before Brendon grabbed his arm.

"No;" he half whined, pathetically tugging him back. It was nothing like the strength Brendon was more than capable of showing. He took a deep breath and pushed off the wall, heading off towards his room once more, muttering, "Bed." Ryan more or less supported Brendon as they walked, not wanting him to fall, amazed at how well he actually could function when half dead. Ryan would have become the bitch from hell, or beyond, if he was in the current state Brendon was. 

When they reached the bedroom, Brendon pushed the door shut, the moonlight bright enough as it streamed in through the open glass doors to light up the major pieces of furniture. He dropped Ryan's hand and headed towards the balcony, stripping his shirt off to toss onto the bed and grabbing something from a shelf as he passed. Ryan silently watched Brendon strike a match, a little flame fluttering on the end of the small stick he held-bursting into much larger flames as Brendon held it to a torch near the hammock. Blowing the match out, Brendon went back inside the bedroom, throwing the matches at the dresser to deal with later, proceeding to take Ryan back to the balcony as though Ryan wouldn't have been able to navigate the path himself; pulling a blanket from the bed along the way. 

Brendon stepped from his sandals then climbed into the hammock which began to rock from the movement, settling mostly on his back, pressed against the curve of the swaying fabric, before reaching out to Ryan like a sleepy child demanding a toy to cuddle. Ryan softly smiled at how cute Brendon looked, momentarily contemplating how _not_ to go about getting into the hammock so he wouldn't make a huge idiot of himself or hurt either of them, eventually grabbing Brendon's hands for stability as he joined him. 

He slid his body along Brendon's, matching the younger man's position, only more curled on his side, letting his body relax into the rocking motion with only the distant sound of the ocean and the crackling of the flame above them. Brendon threw the light blanket over their bodies, moving one leg between Ryan's so they were woven, and tugged Ryan as physically close as possible. "Sorry we didn't get much time today," Brendon mumbled, just barely above a whisper, looping his arms around Ryan's waist and pressing their foreheads together.

"S'okay," Ryan said just as quietly back, overwhelmed by a sudden sense of extreme comfort and exhaustion. "I had Mia." Brendon placed a soft kiss to Ryan's skin, Ryan feeling the curve of the other mans lips as he smiled in the almost-darkness, making Ryan smile and bury his face in Brendon's shoulder to make it his pillow. Brendon didn't say anything; only leaned his head on Ryan's, silence coming over them.

Just as Ryan was about to fall asleep, he heard Brendon softly begin to hum a tune he didn't recognize, the sound being soothing. It wasn't long, but it was pretty and made Ryan just want to move closer to Brendon; even if it wasn't physically possible as their bodies were already pressed tightly together.

Not long after the humming stopped, Brendon's chest pushing rhythmically against Ryan's, the still-cackling fire being the only noise accompanying the soft breaths both men emitted, Ryan peacefully drifted off completely.


	9. Day Eight

**Day Eight**

Ryan decided the next morning that he really liked the hammock because one, it was comfortable, two, it allowed him to be extremely close to Brendon, and three, it actually kept Brendon there for Ryan to wake up to; something he's wanted for a few days. Granted, Brendon was already awake when Ryan regained full consciousness, but it was still as nice as Ryan imagined. Though when he did wake up, he didn't give any sign of no longer being asleep, because he was the topic of conversation between Mia and Brendon; every word soft and quiet. 

"Why can't we wake him up?" Mia asked with a small whine of frustration.

"Because he's sleeping, Mia, and you don't wake people up unless you really have to." Brendon spoke calmly, fingers ghosting through Ryan's hair. "You have plenty of things to do for a little while." 

"What about breakfast? Ryan's gonna be asleep all day!" she stressed, a small slap of her foot against the deck momentarily ringing out.

"There's still plenty of time for breakfast, Amelia," Brendon said just as lightly, not affected by the mini-tantrum. "Now why don't you go play with your dolls or something? I'm sure Ryan will be up soon." Ryan wanted to hit Brendon for being so ridiculously perfect, no one ever let him sleep in before, but remained still. "But we're not going to wake him." 

"Can I wake up Uncle Bill?" Mia asked innocently.

"Sure," her uncle replied, Ryan having to hold his breath to keep from laughing. "Don't bother Gabe though; I don't want you to get hurt." Brendon added with all seriousness, still petting Ryan. "And if Uncle Bill tells you to leave him alone, I want you in your room or downstairs watching TV until I get up, okay?"

"But you are up!" Amelia whined.

"I meant until I'm physically up, meaning I'm walking around the house." Ryan was slightly scared at how alike the two were. 

"But that could take _forever_!" she dramatically sighed. "You can't move till Ryan wakes up and that won't ever happen 'cause he's lazy and still sleeping!" Ryan almost wanted to just sit up right then. He probably could have if it wasn't for the fact that he was comfortable against Brendon, not really knowing where his body ended and Brendon's began, feeling Brendon pet him with the hand not locked around his waist.

"Amelia, we're not waking Ryan up and that's that," Brendon said a little more firmly. "I'm sure he won't be asleep much longer anyway." If Ryan was looking for it, instead of melting into bliss, he would have caught the hinting tone in Brendon's voice.

"Fine!" Mia huffed almost angrily. "Uncle Bill will play with me." Ryan listened to the quick, heavy footsteps move away from them before Mia's distant voice merrily chimed, "Morning Uncle Bill!"

"So, how long do you plan on keeping me pinned here?" Brendon stopped running his hand through Ryan's hair to poke him playfully instead, receiving a light groan from Ryan. 

"M'sleeping," he said, voice a little cracked from having not been used in some odd hours.

"Sure." Brendon laughed, Ryan's head moving with the younger man's chest. "You've been awake a good ten minutes at least now." 

"How'd you know?" Ryan pouted, because maybe he wasn't as sneaky as he thought. 

"Because I've been awake for almost an hour, watching you sleep," Brendon said, making Ryan smile and tilt his head up, forcing his eyes open to look at Brendon; sunlight already bright around them. 

"That's kind of creepy," Ryan said with a playful tone.

"Well you're practically on top of me so it's not like I could have left." Brendon smiled down at him. 

"I wanted to wake up to you for once," Ryan mumbled, straightening his head and letting his eyes fall shut. Brendon's hand picked up in Ryan's hair again as Ryan added, "You could have woken me up if you wanted to leave, though."

"Never said I wanted to; just said I couldn't." Ryan's stomach definitely didn't flutter. "Plus, you looked so peaceful and cute that there's no way I could have bothered you." Ryan could hear the gentle happiness in Brendon's voice. "Sleep okay?"

"Mmm," Ryan merrily hummed, pressing his face into Brendon's chest. He slept more than okay. "You?"

"Perfect," he softly answered, holding Ryan tighter against him. "Best night of sleep I've had in a long time; especially with all the shit my sister's giving me right now." Ryan lightly kissed Brendon's bare chest. "But we actually do need to get up soon."

"Why?" It was Ryan's turn to whine. He didn't plan on spending _all_ day in the hammock, but half, or even another hour, would be nice. He just really wanted to be lazy. 

"Because every Sunday morning Mia's here, we go to Nate and Alex's for breakfast," Brendon answered. 

"Oh." Ryan couldn't be the cause of routines getting ruined; or at least not ones involving Brendon's friends or Mia. 

"But a few more minutes of _sleep_ won't kill anyone." Ryan could see the smirk on Brendon's face, even though he wasn't looking at him, and couldn't keep a smile from materializing on his own lips. They were given a few minutes of silence, taking in each other's breathing patterns until they seemed to perfectly match, before the rest of the house came to life.

"She bit me!" Gabe's shocked and annoyed voice echoed out. "You demon little girl!"

"You shouldn't drink!" Mia countered, squeaking, giggling, shouting, and running quickly following. 

"Get back here!" Gabe yelled, the footsteps slamming against the stairs.

"Catch me!" Amelia yelled proudly back, voice light with laughter. Brendon heavily sighed beneath Ryan. "You're slow 'cause you're _old_." Ryan lifted his head up and gave a small yawn, carefully, sitting up on his knees, allowing Brendon to sit up more to stretch. The stomping came back up the stairs, Mia dashing into Brendon's room and jumping into the hammock, almost causing the two men to fall off as she hid herself beneath the blanket; face beaming. 

A moment later an angry, lost, frustrated Gabe appeared, out of breath. "Get out here you little brat!" he yelled at the giggling mass on the hammock between Ryan and Brendon. "Your demon niece bit me!" Gabe told Brendon, holding his arm out as though to show them something.

"I told her to leave you alone." Brendon shrugged, a very sleepy William showing up behind his boyfriend. "Morning, Bill." Brendon greeted his half naked friend who yawned, stumbling a little from not quite having all his balance yet, then latched onto Gabe's outstretched arm. 

"Night," he mumbled in reply; eyes half open at best. 

"Bilvy!" Gabe looked to his boyfriend with a pout, seeking sympathy. "She bit me and it hurts!"

"I don't care," Bill flatly answered. "We're going back to bed. S'too early." He turned to head back to their room. 

"It _hurts_!" Gabe whined more. Ryan bit his tongue to keep from laughing, Mia poking her head out from beneath the blanket, inching towards Ryan while Brendon shifted to keep the weight distribution steady. 

"If you don't get your ass back in that bed in the next five seconds, I will bite you somewhere so incredibly unpleasant that you won't be able to _breathe_ without feeling immense pain." William's tone was so serious and threatening that fear ran even through Ryan, Gabe taking the warning and dropping his arm silently back down to his side; letting William take him back to the bedroom. "Night," Bill repeated, giving a half-wave over his head and pushing Gabe from the room. 

"That was..." Ryan didn't know how to finish that, staring after them as Amelia climbed onto his bent legs.

"You're awake!" she chimed, putting her arms around his neck.

"What did I tell you about bothering Gabe?" Brendon asked, not bothering to hide the amusement written all over his face. Mia sulked, knowing she was being scolded, but smiled all the same. "Did Uncle Bill tell you to leave?" 

"No; he told me he didn't want to get up yet but that I could lie own with him until you got up so I climbed into the bed and laid down with Uncle Bill hugging me." Amelia defended herself with a straight face. Ryan's legs were beginning to go numb from both his and her weight on them, already shifting around to keep his balance on the hammock. 

"So why did you bite Gabe?" Brendon asked, getting of the hammock and taking Mia into his arms, helping Ryan up after. "Biting is inappropriate behavior for a young lady, Mia." 

"He kept pushing me and telling me to go away!" Amelia wrapped herself around her uncle. Ryan wasn't jealous in any way. "I told him to stop but he wouldn't so I bit him!" Ryan caught the quick flash of pride run through Brendon's eyes. 

"No more biting anyone," was all he said. Ryan could kind of see where the hate of Gabe came from. "Now," Brendon kissed Mia's head, setting her down, "Go get some clothes then come back for a bath." She headed to her room, disappearing inside as Brendon's grabbed Ryan, pulling him into a kiss. "Good morning." 

Ryan smiled against Brendon's lips as they kissed again; harder, longer. It was a good morning indeed. 

**#-#-#-#-#-#**

Alex and Nate's house was almost as glamorous as Brendon's. It wasn't as large, it was only one story, but it was all made of wood and gorgeous. The actual house rested up on a hill, Hawaii seemed to be full of them, resting over the double-door garage at the end of the driveway Brendon parked in. A slightly curving series of steps led from the driveway to the porch of the home, Brendon telling Ryan, "With all the food they consume, they need some way to work it off," with a smile. 

It didn't take more than a few steps for Ryan to hate the climb and decide there should be an elevator or another way to get up; like riding on Brendon's back like Mia did. Only, Ryan was a lot bigger than Mia, and the two probably wouldn't make it up; for various reasons. 

"I wanna knock!" Amelia demanded as they reached the top, standing on the large porch containing a table and some chairs; Brendon setting Mia down and Ryan trying not to look like he was going to pass out. No sooner did Mia's feet touch the wood was she running to the door, pulling the screen back to pound rapidly on the door with a fist then stepping back. 

Brendon looked questioningly to Ryan, the older man's breathing a little uneven still, Ryan giving a small nod as though to say, 'yeah, I'm okay', and standing straight. Ryan walked to Brendon's side, hearing footsteps draw closer to him on the other side, taking a few silent breaths to calm himself. The wood pulled back to reveal Alex, dressed in cargo shorts and a plain purple-collared shirt. 

"Uncle Alex!" Amelia loudly burst, abandoning the screen door and throwing herself over the threshold at him, wrapping her arms around his legs. 

"Hey munchkin," he said, smiling, ruffling Mia's hair. "Morning Bren;" Alex looked to the other two; Brendon then Ryan. "Good morning, Ryan." his smile got a little wider, loosely crossing his arms around Amelia who hugged him a few moments longer before looking up at him.

"Where's Uncle Nate?" she asked, trying to peer around Alex and into the house.

"Uncle Nate's still asleep." he replied. "He doesn't feel good so you'll have to keep it down so he doesn't wake up, okay?" Mia's face fell but she nodded regardless, Alex releasing her and stepping aside to allow her entrance; Mia disappearing inside. 

"Nate okay?" Brendon asked, going to step into the house, grabbing Ryan's hand along the way to pull him inside as well; Alex giving a slightly cocky grin to Ryan as he passed.

"Yeah." Alex nodded, pushing the door shut. "He was up most of the night with a really bad headache--just got to sleep a few hours ago." Ryan was kind of in love with the inside of the house as well; half listening to the conversation going on around him.

"Would you rather us not be here then?" Brendon asked, Ryan stepping farther inside; looking lost in a dream. Brendon wouldn't let go of his hand though, like he was a small child that needed to be monitored at all times.

"Don't be stupid." Alex scoffed. "I only get to see Mia one morning a month. I prefer Nate stays asleep, but if he wakes up;" Alex shrugged.

Ryan tuned them out completely after that.

The front door led right into the living room which was really kind of beautiful. It had a very warm, relaxing feel to it, filled primarily with antique looking furniture. The couch was a maroon color in the shape of an 'L' to accommodate multiple people, half boxing in a wooden coffee table with a glass panel down the center. The carpet was one of those incredibly soft, plush carpets, a dark brown color, with the walls a dark-honey shade with sponged maroon on top.

A series of pictures and shelves aligned the walls, from what Ryan could see, most being of the two in a variety of settings and poses; the majority spur of the moment types. In each and every one though, Nate and Alex had the happiest expressions Ryan had ever seen, love sparkling in their eyes. He turned to gaze at Brendon who was still talking to Alex, wondering if Brendon's eyes could sparkle like that. It'd be so beautiful. 

The living room also contained an entertainment stand bearing a flat screen television, dvds, a gaming system, and more photos. In the far corner was a drum set, big and beautiful, looking used yet brand new at the same time. Behind the couch, against a wall, leaving a path for someone to walk through, was a large cd stereo system, with a few racks of cds next to it. Ryan decided he really liked 'Nalex' now, because the way to Ryan Ross's heart was definitely through music. 

Ryan snapped from his daze though to the sound of metal crashing in the room over, finding he had managed to get away from Brendon and end up half way into the living room. "Mia;" Brendon sighed, the two going into the next room, Ryan following behind. He was really in love with Brendon's friends when he walked into the kitchen, because _holyfuck_ , it was the dream kitchen.

The room itself was about as big as Ryan's entire apartment, or so he figured, completely done in a dark cherry wood with dark marble countertops. There was a large island in the center, similar to what Brendon had, only this one was larger and more involved. It had two flat top stoves with a heating rack in between, a long line of stools opposite for seating space. Hanging over the island was a series of pots and pans; a ceiling-suspended wine rack on the end next to it. All along the left half was more counter space, leading to two ovens high enough to prevent having to bend over; one on top of the other. Beside that, in a somewhat corner, was a large, double door with pull out bottom freezer refrigerator, probably large enough to hold Brendon and Ryan inside. 

On the counters sat every appliance imaginable, except a microwave, plugs all along the wall for them to have power. Cupboards paralleled the counters which sat on top a ton of drawers and lower cupboards, holding all sorts of dishes for whatever was needed. On the opposite side were full length cupboards standing next to each other, hiding a door tightly shut. The whole place was lit with in-ceiling gallery lights that would dim and brighten as well as pivot slightly when adjusted. 

It was definitely the kitchen for food-lovers. 

"Mia!" Alex's voice was a little reprimanding as he walked towards the little girl who sat on her knees on the island, holding a large pan in her hands with a few lying around her; a guilty look on her face. "Haven't I told you before those are too high?"

"I wanted to help," she muttered, shoulders slouching. 

"You could have gotten hurt," he said, putting his hands beneath Amelia's shoulders and lifting her from the counter, setting her on the floor. He then put the pans lying on the counter back overhead; Ryan catching Brendon give his niece a warning look. 

"I only wanted to help," Mia repeated, looking shamefully down. 

"I know." Ryan saw Alex's face soften to a smile as he pulled the child close to comfort her. "How about we make breakfast before it gets any later?" Alex said to perk her up again.

"And bring it to Uncle Nate in bed 'cause he's sick?" she optimistically inquired, looking up at Alex while Ryan went back to absorbing his surroundings. He liked this house; maybe even more than Brendon's.

"I s'pose." Alex gave a small laugh. He took the pan from Amelia and set it on the flat stove of the island, saying, "Go get your apron," as Brendon pulled Ryan from his thoughts again.

"Come on," Brendon said softly, motioning towards the glass door with his head while taking hold of Ryan's forearm and starting to walk; pulling Ryan along. Alex and Mia set off to their own thing while Brendon and Ryan escaped, doing what Ryan figured was routine each time Mia visited. The younger male led Ryan out to the balcony behind the house, releasing him to go to the railing. 

Ryan closed the door behind them then followed, standing beside Brendon who leaned as his elbows over the wooden barrier, staring off into the distance in thought. The tree were just spaced enough to give a distant view of the ocean they lived near, the tiniest part of another island visible if Ryan squinted and focused hard enough. It was silent for awhile, except for the occasional bird call, and Ryan rather enjoyed the peace, but wondered what was keeping Brendon so silent and lost looking because usually his mouth was going a mile a minute. And Ryan liked that too. 

“My sister and I used to be really close,” Brendon said quietly as Ryan mirrored his position. He turned to look at the other man, but Brendon continued looking straight ahead; eyes slightly glazed over. “But when my parents died, she began to change. We moved to Hawaii and things went downhill.” he heavily sighed. “Our grandparents spent so much time making sure I was okay that Sara got ignored most of the time.” Brendon looked down. 

To try and comfort him while also allowing him the personal space he needed, Ryan turned completely to one side and put a hand on Brendon’s shoulder, squeezing and rubbing it lightly. “Sara began getting heavily involved with the tourists.” he continued after a few moments silence. “Eventually, she started sleeping with them. She was only twenty when she had Amelia; I was barely out of high school.” Ryan rubbed the boy’s shoulder harder.

“My grandmother had passed the year before and my grandfather kicked Sara out as soon as Mia was born because he couldn’t deal with listening to her cry. I got into the tourist business when I was nineteen, giving as much money as I could to my sister to help support Mia, feeling awful what my grandfather had done.” Brendon shook his head. “It wasn’t until Mia was almost a year old that I learned my sister only used the money to buy alcohol and shit.” he scoffed.

“It was around Mia’s second birthday that my grandfather passed, leaving absolutely everything to me. Sara was furious. I wanted to give her something, but I knew she would only blow it somehow.” A tear rolled down Brendon’s cheek, dripping to the wood between his elbows. “I took Mia a lot back then, to try and give her the love and attention my sister can’t, but when Amelia began crying every time she had to go back to Sara, Sara told me I only got a weekend a month; and that's mainly for her to have her own personal alone time.” Ryan frowned at how sad Brendon was. 

“I don’t want to keep Amelia from Sara, but I know my sister doesn’t take care of my niece the way she’s supposed to.” More tears fell and Ryan ended up pulling him into a sideways hug. “Ryan; Mia’s called me when my sister’s forgotten to feed her or when Sara’s left her alone at the house to go out with some guy.” He turned to wrap himself around Ryan, crying softly into Ryan’s shirt. “I mean, I want to call child services, but I’m afraid of hurting Mia any more by taking her from her mother.” 

“At least she has you,” Ryan offered, never having been that great with emotional situations. No one was much there for him and he wasn’t quite sure how to react; especially in this situation. Clearly Brendon cared about his niece more than anything else, and that’s what mattered. “I think as long as Mia knows that you’ll always be there, no matter what, she’ll be just fine.” Brendon nodded, pulling back and quickly wiping his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, sniffling. “I didn’t mean to just…put all this on you.” 

“It’s okay.” Ryan shrugged. “Sometimes our problems and feelings get too heavy for us to bear alone.” 

“Yeah;” Brendon gave a small smile. “Something about you, Ryan Ross; I’ve always told myself not to get too involved with mainlanders since they’re usually just here for a week or so, but something about you…” he trailed off, giving a small laugh while still rubbing his eyes.

“I told you myself that after the whole disaster with Pete that I wasn’t getting involved with people in general but you…here…” Ryan too was unable to finish his sentence.

So, to close the ends of both thoughts, Brendon locked their lips together; Ryan able to detect traces of salty tears on Brendon’s lips. He was trying not to be overbearing, wanting to make out rather than just lightly kiss, but Ryan wasn’t exactly fifteen anymore and it wasn’t exactly the right moment. Things did get a whole lot needier and rougher though, only to be broken by a high pitched stream of, “Ewwwww!” coming from the doorway.

Breaking apart, Ryan looked to see Mia standing in the doorway in her pink apron, holding a spatula in one hand while the other hand clutched her hip, Alex standing behind her with a look of amusement. “I just can’t leave you two alone, can I?” she dramatically stated, rolling her eyes.

“Foods ready,” Alex said, voice shaking with suppressed giggles.

“Thanks,” Brendon muttered, trying to wipe away theemotional remains from a few minutes earlier.

“Honestly!” Amelia exhaled loudly, throwing her hands up. “I spend my morning slaving over a hot stove and what do they do?!” she turned around to go farther inside. “They try and eat each other!” 

Ryan couldn’t help but burst into laughter. 

**~+~+~+~+~**

Amelia insisted Nate got breakfast in bed so, while Alex cleaned up, Brendon helping, Ryan accompanied the girl to the bedroom with a tray of food and some juice. Brendon was weary at first, but after Alex’s speech of, _no, she won’t get sick; Nate doesn’t have some disease or something. Honestly, do you think I would let her anywhere near him if he was bad?!_ , he finally gave in and said it was okay. Mia roped Ryan in instantly.

When they reached the door, Mia knocked then entered, going for the bed that she climbed onto with a sleeping Nate; Ryan carrying everything for various reasons. The bedroom wasn’t exactly grand, but it wasn’t terribly small either. There was the bed which faced an entertainment stand holding a television, a dresser and a wardrobe along one wall, a door connecting to their own bathroom, and a square bathtub that Ryan really didn’t want to think about in the corner. The style was a deep romantic red, with white walls and a very soft white carpet. It was as relaxing as the rest of the house was.

“Uncle Nate…” Mia whispered, shaking his shoulder. “Wakey wakey, Uncle Nate; I maded breakfast and Uncle Alex says you can eat in bed.” she smiled, sitting on her knees beside him. Nate stirred, rolling onto his back, eyes blinking open. “Breakfast!” Mia chimed.

“Hey…Mia…” he said, not fully awake. “What time…?” he yawned.

“About ten,” Ryan said while walking towards the bed. Nate pulled himself into a sitting position, yawning more and stretching, rubbing away at his eyes. “Mia was adamant to see you and give you breakfast.” 

“’Cause I’m her favorite,” Nate said with a smile, pulling Mia into a hug that made her giggle. “And ‘sup, Ryan?” he greeted Ryan properly, releasing the girl. “You didn’t have to;” he pointed towards the tray. “I coulda come out.”

“Uh-uh.” Amelia firmly shook her head. “You’re sick and sick people get breakfast in bed.” She reached for the tray, helping to guide it from Ryan’s hands over Nate’s lap. “You have to eat it all so you can get better and go play your drums.” she told Nate.

“I’m sure your Uncle Alex isn’t too upset about my not playing the drums.” Nate laughed, ruffling her hair. “Thank you for breakfast, Mia. You’re my favorite cook.”

“I heard that!” Alex said from the door, giving his boyfriend a look of fake hurt. Nate only laughed more, sitting up all the way. “You can be sick on your own now; see if I take care of you.”

“We have to go, Mia,” Brendon said from behind. “Nate needs rest.” Mia whined but ended up getting off the bed anyway, Alex taking her spot. Ryan headed for the door behind Mia, wanting to give them privacy. 

“Feel better, Uncle Nate!” Mia stopped to wave. “And you be nice to him, Uncle Alex!” she pointed warningly. “You gots to make him feel better!” Ryan smiled to himself, Brendon’s face near matching.

“I will,” Alex said, Nate’s head falling onto his shoulder. “Be good for your Uncle Brendon, okay?” she nodded diligently. “Bye Bren; bye Ryan.” Ryan nodded while Brendon said goodbye, shutting the bedroom door as the three prepared to leave.

“So hey:” Brendon stopped halfway through the living room, facing Ryan. “I was wondering…” he bit his lip, eyes wandering quickly. “I was wondering if, you know, instead of paying for a hotel for the next week if you wanted to come…stay with me instead. ‘Cause, you know, we’ve already slept together…I mean, not like that or anything, which obviously you know because you were there and all but-“

“Bren;” Ryan cut him off, trying not to laugh. “I’m not paying for the hotel. Honeymoon gift thing.” Brendon’s face fell, Ryan leaning in to kiss the frown. “But I’d love to stay with you instead,” he said, before even thinking it over.

“Come on, slow pokes!” Mia called from the door, holding it open. The two shared one more kiss before following, the climb down the steps feeling a lot easier than the climb up had been. 

**~+~+~+~+~**

“Why are we here?” Mia asked curiously as Brendon parked outside the hotel’s main entrance.

“This is where my clothes and everything are,” Ryan replied while unbuckling.

“Ryan’s coming to live with me until he has to go back home.” Brendon added. “So we have to get his stuff.” 

“Oh.” Amelia lost most interest and opened the car door, climbing out, followed by the other two. “When do you go back home?” she asked, rounding the car and taking hold of Ryan’s hand, walking alongside him to the hotel's door.

“Saturday,” he said with as little disappointment as possible. 

“I go home today,” Mia said in response. Brendon walked on the other side of Ryan, texting something out quickly on his cell phone. “Mommy only lets me stay with Uncle Brendon the second Saturday and Sunday each month.” Ryan hummed and nodded, he already knew that, trying not to stay on the topic too long for Brendon’s sake.

“I should let Spencer and Jon know,” Ryan told Brendon as the three stepped into the hotel’s lobby.

“Who are Spencer and Jon?” 

“I’ll go tell them,” Brendon while pocketing his phone. “You go pack.”

“Who are Spencer and Jon?!” Mia repeated, tugging on Ryan’s arm several times. 

“My friends that I came to Hawaii with.” Ryan answered her. “I have to tell them that I’m going to stay with your uncle now.”

“Because they’re staying here.” Brendon was quick to add. Ryan gave a tiny smile to the defensive tone. Of course Brendon liked the two, Ryan didn’t think he was capable of _not_ liking someone, but he only wanted Ryan; and that felt good.

When they reached the room, Ryan retrieved his keycard, sliding it to unlock the room, entering with Mia while Brendon went next door. “Can I help you pack?” Mia asked, eyes sparkling.

“Sure.” Ryan shrugged, heading for the dresser, grabbing the suitcase along the way. “You can put the clothes I hand you into the suitcase, okay?” Amelia nodded excitedly, going to the dresser then dropping to her knees by the suitcase Ryan put down. He didn’t have much actual packing to do, it wouldn’t take long, and he could probably do it quicker by himself, but Ryan liked Amelia and he wasn’t in some big hurry anyway.

“You should leave clothes at Uncle Brendon’s house like me ‘n Uncle Bill do so you don’t have to pack lots when you come to see him again,” Mia said, trying to keep the clothes Ryan handed to her folded neatly while placing them into the suitcase. “’Specially if you’re Uncle Brendon’s new boyfriend.”

“Maybe.” Ryan absently muttered, not denying the last statement. His thoughts were more on the young girl’s words, _come to see him again_ , because Ryan honestly didn’t know if it would happen. He surely didn’t want to fly for hours just for a make out session (and hopefully more) since neither was too keen on leaving their homes. Then again, despite Amelia’s words, they weren’t exclusive or anything. 

“What the hell, Ross?!” Ryan rolled his eyes and silently sighed as Spencer’s voice rang out. “You suddenly disappear without only word without answering your phone or anything?! No one was answering their fucking phones!”

“Language.” Ryan frowned, turning to face his friend. “I was with Brendon.” he shrugged. “I’m a big boy, older than you, and can do what I want without going through you first.” 

“I was worried!” Spencer stressed, Jon appearing behind him with Brendon following. Mia stood and took Ryan’s hand as though scared, holding it firmly.

“Calm down,” Ryan said for the girl’s sake. “I was with Brendon; I’m fine. I was only doing what you wanted. I’m moving on, so let me do it.” Jon put his hands on Spencer’s shoulders and whispered something to him, massaging his shoulder’s to relax him.

“Just; it’d be nice to know.” Spencer exhaled, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” Ryan replied as he too calmed. “And so you know, I’m going to stay with Brendon now instead of here.” Spencer’s eyes opened again, showing confusion but amusement at the same time. 

“Better on the economy.” Brendon chimed from behind. “Instead of running back and forth constantly.” 

“I don’t like you,” Mia muttered, scowling, pressing against Ryan. Spencer’s eyes fell down to her, just noticing her presence, one eyebrow lifting.

“That’s nice; who’re you?” Spencer asked a little bitterly. “I know I told you to get out and do more, Ry, but I didn’t think you’d end up with a kid.” 

“She’s Brendon’s niece,” Ryan muttered. “Spence, Jon, this is Mia. Mia, these are my friends, Spencer and Jon.”

“Hello Mia.” Jon smiled, pulling away from his boyfriend. “You hair is very pretty.” Mia let go of Ryan and smiled, having new confidence and pride.

“I like you,” Mia said. “But not you.” She scowled at Spencer again. “And my name is _Amelia_.” She crossed her arms.

“Amelia is a very pretty name,” Jon said.

“You can call me ‘Mia’.” The girl went bubbly for a second to Jon. “But not you.” Jon smirked at Spencer.

“Mia;” Brendon’s voice held that corrective tone. “That’s not nice.”

“He was being mean to Ryan!” Amelia whined in defense.

“I’m allowed to.” Spencer crossed his arms. “He’s my best friend. Those are best friend rules.”

“Well he’s my friend too!” she scowled harder. “And you gotta be nice to your friends or you’ll lose them!” Brendon sighed, head falling back against the wall he leaned on. Amelia was very strong willed and minded.

“ _Best_ friends are better than normal friends!”

“Spencer;” Ryan stopped them before they continued any longer. “Don’t argue with a six year old.”

“She started it,” he said.

“Nuh-uh!” Amelia protested. “You did!”

“You did!” Spencer shot back.

“Spencer!” Ryan was getting aggravated. “Be the adult here and drop it, okay?” Spencer opened his mouth, but shut it again when he saw Ryan’s glare. Mia stuck her tongue out, smirking and going to Ryan, hugging him firmly. Ryan put his arms loosely around her, leaning on the dresser, still watching his friend.

“So;” Jon was the one to break the tension. “What’s everyone plans for today?”

“ _I’m_ spending the day with Ryan.” Mia purposely dragged out the ‘I’m’. Spencer frowned. “And Uncle Brendon,” she added, pulling away from Ryan, going to Jon to hug him too. Spencer’s face got even madder. “And you, ‘cause I like you.”

“Jon stays with me.” Spencer told her. “Those are _boyfriend_ rules.” He smiled, dignified.

“What are we doing?” Jon ignored Spencer and looked to Mia. Spencer’s jaw dropped, Ryan lightly laughing to himself, and Mia’s tongue poking out again. “I’d love to be able to photograph such a pretty girl.”

“Jon!” Spencer whined, arms dropping.

“Face it Smith,” Ryan smiled, “Someone better came along.” Spencer glared at Ryan, mouthing _fuck you_.

“I wanna go jet skiing!” Mia burst, quickly abandoning Jon to collide into her uncle. “Can we go jet skiing? Pretty, pretty, pretty _please_?” she begged, grinning madly, dragging out the last word until she ran out of breath.

“You’re not being a good girl,” Brendon said calmly, brushing her hair back.

“I’ll be good, I promise!” Mia whined, taking Brendon’s hands and yanking them down. “Mommy never lets me do fun things like you do!” Ryan knew Brendon would give in to that. 

“Fine.” He did. Ryan could tell that Brendon wanted to give Amelia everything her mother couldn’t, which was basically everything, to Ryan’s understanding, and it made Ryan like him even more. “But Ryan doesn’t like water.” Brendon smirked, looking to him. Mia’s eyes widened as she let Brendon go for Ryan, shocked.

“Why don’t you like water?!”

“Not my favorite thing.” Ryan was indifferent.

“Have you ever rode a jet ski b’fore?!” The wider her eyes, the greener they looked. Ryan shook his head, Mia gasping. “You _have_ to do it!” she basically demanded. “It’s _lots_ of fun!”

And before he knew it, Ryan was getting dragged from the hotel; Brendon grabbing his things.

**~+~+~+~+~**

“I only have two skis and two people can fit on one at a time,” Brendon said, dropping down a few life jackets. They were all gathered on the beach, Gabe on a folding chair, more interested in his phone. “So we have to alternate.”

“I’m good,” Gabe said without looking up.

“I want Ryan!” Mia claimed him, latching onto his arm.

“No, your options are me or Uncle Bill,” Brendon said, giving her a pointed look. “Ryan doesn’t know how to use them so until he learns, you’re not riding with him.” Mia pouted and let go.

“Come on, Mia.” William smiled and offered his hand. Mia continued to pout, face buried in her brightly decorated life jacket, taking his hand and going with him to the two machines floating by the dock.

“The jackets are optional,” Brendon said, pulling his shirt off. Ryan definitely didn’t want a jacket on him. “Who wants to go? Someone can ride with me.” He looked briefly at Ryan. “Or alone or whatever. They’re simple enough to operate.”

“Ryan wants to,” Spencer said, pushing him forward.

“What? I-“

“Awesome.” Brendon cut him off. Ryan glared at his friend who had that look of revenge on his face, Ryan squinting and vouching to get him back. “Jacket, Ry?” Brendon asked, bringing attention back on him.

“I don’t want to die.” Ryan sighed, bending down to grab one.

“You’ll probably want your shirt off,” Brendon said, smile all too suspicious. “So it doesn’t get wet,” he added, Spencer and Jon snickering behind Ryan. Sighing heavily again, Ryan handed Brendon the safety device then pulled his shirt off, dropping it to the sand, and taking the jacket back. He slid it on, but Brendon decided to strap it for him, pulling it as tight around his tiny frame as possible. 

Ryan heard one of the skis roar to life, looking over Brendon’s shoulder to the water, seeing Mia sat in front of William, both holding the bars, pulling away from the dock and out into the ocean at a fast but not overwhelmingly high speed. His attention came back to Brendon when Brendon jerked him slightly, smirking then kissing him quickly with, “All set.” 

“Get a room.” Gabe mused. 

“Feel free to do whatever.” Brendon told the other two. “I doubt we’ll be long.”

“Play nice out there,” Spencer said, patting Ryan’s shoulder. “And save the bitching for later.”

“I hope you drown,” Ryan replied before being pulled down to the dock. “I kind of hate you right now.” he told Brendon miserably.

“We won’t go far.” Brendon promised. “I’m going to make you like water, Ryan Ross.” he smiled brightly, practically dragging Ryan to the ski. “You’ll sit up front because you’ll feel more secure.”

“I can’t drive this,” Ryan mumbled.

“I’ll teach you,” Brendon answered. “Sit down.” He gestured to the floating machine. Ryan frowned, standing still, watching the water move it back and forth. The one Mia and Bill were on made waves bigger as they came to the shore. “I promise nothing will happen to you,” Brendon said. 

Biting his lip, Ryan stepped over the seat, clinging to Brendon’s hand, until he was straddling it. Letting go of Brendon, Ryan slowly lowered himself to a sitting position, heart racing and hands wrapping around the bars. Brendon sat on the seat behind him, reaching around Ryan and placing his hands over the older male’s; curving with them. Ryan swallowed hard because Brendon’s body was pressed tight against his, his breath hitting Ryan’s shoulder, and yeah; Ryan thought of things he’d rather be doing. 

But those thoughts were rather perverted and Ryan cast them aside.

“Ready?” Brendon asked, Ryan shaking his head and tensing. Brendon released one hand to turn the key, replacing his hand as the engine roared. He held Ryan’s hands, pulling them back to make the engine rev, before pushing them forward to actually move. Ryan squeaked and closed his eyes, the wind starting to blow against his face and through his hair, bouncing some on the waves.

They were going fast but…Ryan liked it. One at a time, he opened his eyes. When Brendon pulled a handle towards them, the other going farther away, they turned. It was very similar to a snowmobile which Ryan was forced onto when he and Spencer went with Jon back to Jon’s home of Chicago for Thanksgiving one year. It wasn’t as cold here though, and it was a bit smoother.

And Ryan had Brendon pressed up against him. 

Gradually, Ryan began to relax back, smiling because no one could see him as they went farther away from the shore. Brendon noticed and kissed his shoulder, loudly saying, “I told you it was fun,” then let Ryan have a bit more control. 

**~+~+~+~+~**

When it was time to leave to take Mia home, the sun was just starting to dip down in the sky. Everyone was exhausted from the afternoon, everyone but Spencer and Gabe, because Mia certainly kept them all busy. Spencer ended up sitting in a chair beside Gabe though, the two talking about ways to get rid of the six year old, so that they could have their boyfriends back. 

Jon spent a good hour or so snapping pictures, ranging from Amelia alone to combinations including her, Ryan, Brendon, and William. Most of them weren't planned or really noticed, and that's often what turns out best. He stood by the edge of the water while they splashed around, mostly playing tag with Mia; the water making it incredibly hard to catch her.

So when the clock neared six, Amelia was visibly tired, and ended up in Ryan's arms while Brendon went to grab her clothes. She had her head on his shoulder and her limbs around him, watching William clean up the mess they made on the beach. It was a bit difficult to dress her because she wouldn't do it herself, and she refused to be put down or taken from Ryan. He felt strange having her cling so tightly because Ryan had never really been good with small kids; only the teenagers he taught. But Mia liked him, and he couldn't help liking her back.

Once they managed to get a cute sundress and sandals on her, Brendon pulling her still-damp hair back into a ponytail, she gave mumbled goodbyes to Bill and Jon, only briefly leaving Ryan's arms to hug them both. Brendon got the car ready while Ryan stayed back with Amelia, then had Bill put her on Ryan's back to carry her easier up the hill towards the house. The other four remained sitting in a circle to talk, waiting for Ryan and Brendon to return. 

"Do I have to go home?" Amelia asked with a small whine, eyes half lidded. 

"Yes, you have to go home." Brendon replied as he buckled her in. "You know mommy doesn't like you staying here during the week." He pushed the few strands of stray hair aside. "And I have to work tomorrow."

"Can't I stay with Ryan?" she pouted. "Or Uncle Bill?" 

"Sorry, Mia." Brendon frowned right before shutting her door and getting in the driver's seat. "Mommy misses you."

"No she doesn't!" Mia huffed, crossing her arms. "She forgets about me all the time!" Ryan buckled himself, paying close attention to the way Brendon reacted. He was tense as he buckled and put the car in drive, beginning down the driveway. "I want to stay here with you so I can play with Ryan more!" Brendon only sighed miserably.

"Hey Mia;" Ryan turned around in his seat, ignoring the way the belt pushed into his neck, facing her. "Do you like to play car games?" he asked, hoping he could detour her from having a tantrum to further complicate the situation.

"What kinda games?" she asked, face softening to curiosity and arms dropping to her lap. 

"All kinds of games." Ryan half shrugged. "There're games that involve car colors, license plates, billboard signs..."

"Can we play one?" Ryan smiled and nodded because his barely thought out plan worked. "What one?" 

"Well, I don't see many other cars, so that may be hard," Ryan said. "And I don't think I've seen a single billboard yet..." Maybe he should have thought it out a bit more. "So, how about....'I Spy'?" 

"Yeah!" Amelia instantly perked up. "I wanna go first!" She sat up more. "Turn around while I decide!" 

"Remember; I have to be able to see it too," he said. Mia nodded and waited for Ryan to sit properly again in his seat. When he looked over quickly to Brendon, the younger man mouthed 'thank you', giving a tiny smile over the hurt Ryan knew was there. Ryan nodded and smiled back, waiting for the girl to decide. 

**~+~+~+~+~**

After about twenty minutes, Mia had ended up falling asleep, the 'I Spy' game not being too thrilling as there wasn't much variety. Her head was leaning on her shoulder, slumped back behind the seatbelt quietly. Brendon quietly turned on the radio, Ryan yawning and sliding down in his seat, neither talking the remainder of the drive. There really wasn't anything to be said.

They reached Sara's right as Ryan was almost asleep himself, the sky rather dark and the car relaxing. Brendon pulled into the driveway and put the car in neutral, unbuckling then opening his door. Ryan sat up straight and forced his eyes open, turning back as Brendon opened Mia's door and took her belt off. "I'll be right back," he said, noticing Ryan looking at him. "I just have to put her in bed."

"Want me to come?" Ryan asked sleepily, trying to mask another yawn. "Help you or something?"

"You really should stay here." Brendon frowned. "I'll be five minutes, I swear." Ryan frowned back but listened, watching Brendon carefully lift Mia out of the car and into his arms. She whined and moved around, latching onto him as soon as he got her up into his arms.

Brendon shut the door and carried Amelia to the door, disappearing inside while Ryan waited in the car. He didn't hear any angry yelling this time, only the soft radio inside the vehicle with him, and figured that was at least a good sign. A light flipped on behind curtains over the window at the front of the house, switching off a few moments later. Ryan's eyelids slowly dropped down, incredibly tired for whatever reason, so he shifted to a more comfortable position in the seat.

When Brendon came back, he was smiling, dropping into his seat and redoing his belt. "S'everything 'kay?" Ryan muttered, noticing the joyous expression.

"Mia woke up before I left," he said, backing from the driveway. "She told me I have permission to keep you because she really likes you." Brendon laughed lightly, heading back towards his home. Ryan smiled, letting his eyes fall shut all the way, listening to the radio and the road. Yeah, he liked Mia too.

The last thing he registered before drifting off was Brendon taking his hand and squeezing lightly, making small circles with his thumb that told Ryan everything was going to be fine. And Ryan believed him, because everything had been so wrong for so long that he needed everything to be fine again.

He didn't remember waking up when they got back or going upstairs or anything, but Ryan did wake momentarily in the middle of the night to find himself in Brendon's bed, pressed securely against him. Without a single thought, Ryan moved a tiny bit closer and used Brendon's shoulder for a pillow, before passing out again.

Brendon had still been awake and smiled into the darkness at the gesture, arms making their way around Ryan's waist, kissing the top of his head, and whispering to the sleeping man, "I love you."


	10. Day Nine

**Day Nine**

“Please?”

“No.”

“I promise it will be fun!” Brendon half whined, straddling himself over Ryan.

“No,” Ryan repeated for the umpteenth time, face buried in the pillow. Brendon sighed with frustration and got off the bed, sulking from the bedroom and leaving Ryan peacefully alone to get more sleep. He wasn’t necessarily tired, he just loved being able to enter a world without restrictions and limitations that weigh him down when awake. Brendon had been bothering him for roughly fifteen minutes now, trying to get Ryan to accompany him to work. 

Ryan liked the idea of sleep better.

Barely five minutes later though, right as Ryan began to slip away to his dreams, he was completely awoken by a sharp blow to his back by hard bone, hissing into the pillow. The bed bounced for a few seconds while Ryan groaned and rolled onto his side, pain shooting through him. “Get your ass up and dressed,” Spencer said, lying beside his friend after having jumped on him. “We have a long and busy day ahead of us.” 

“Fuck you.” Ryan frowned, eyes still shut. “I told Brendon ‘no’, I’ll tell you the same thing.”

“You know me better than that.” Spencer rolled his eyes and sat up. “Just because Brendon pussied out and gave up doesn’t mean your bitchy attitude is making me go away that easily.” 

“Hey!” came a voice from the door, Ryan assuming it was Brendon. “If he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t-“

“Shut up, Urie.” Spencer cut him off. “You have five seconds to get up, Ryan.”

“’m not goin’,” Ryan said, moving onto his back with his hands beneath him. His skin was tender and warm where he had been assaulted; no doubt red too. 

“You don’t have a choice.” Spencer smacked Ryan’s leg a few times. “We have a bet, remember? You had a good time with Brendon, you do all the fun things that I drag you into doing. And your boyfriend promised to show us around.”

“I didn’t have a good time at that party.” Ryan opened his eyes and freed one hand to swat at his best friend. “So there is no deal. Now go away,” he muttered, letting his eyes fall shut again. Something in his brain wasn’t really awake yet because for some reason, he actually thought Spencer would listen and disappear.

But that’s never the case. Spencer doesn’t give up until he gets his way or gets pissed off enough. Since he was used to Ryan’s irritable attitude, he wasn’t stopping until he had his way. And Ryan knew better than to actually believe he would; to let his guard down. When your friend is practically blood related, they don’t stop at anything. 

“Spencer; come on, just leave him alone,” Brendon said. “It doesn’t matter if he comes or not. It’s his vacation; he can do whatever makes him happy.” Ryan should have been thankful to Brendon’s words, but they kind of annoyed him. Deep down, he liked that Spencer never gave up. He liked feeling like he was being fought for and challenged. 

Brendon was giving up too easily. 

“Are you getting up on your own or am I assisting you?” Spencer ignored the Hawaiian. Ryan merely whined softly in the back of his throat. “My way it is then.” Ryan really didn’t have time to register what happened next. Spencer climbed over him and pulled the blanket from him, grabbing Ryan’s free wrist and yanking him up in one swift motion. Before Ryan could even open his eyes, he was over Spencer’s shoulder, being carried to the bathroom.

“Spencer Smith, put me down!” Ryan demanded, hitting his friend with the arm that wasn’t pinned between their bodies. It wasn’t the first time he’s been carried, and Spencer was smart enough to make sure Ryan couldn’t bite him. 

“You had your chance.” Spencer replied with a light tone of amusement. “No it’s my way.”

“Brendon! Help me!” Ryan practically whined, still struggling to get free. But before he could even hear any kind of reply, he heard running water then was put down into an incredibly cold downpour from the shower head. It shocked his entire body and his pajama pants got quickly soaked, and Ryan was pretty much frozen in his spot; shaking and hugging himself rather than turning the water off.

“There; he’s up now.” Spencer smiled, leaving the bathroom as Brendon slid past him and to the shower to turn the water off for Ryan, grabbing a towel from the cupboard to hand to him; Spencer’s laughing shrinking away as he went downstairs. 

“I’m _so_ sorry.” Brendon’s eyes were apologetic as Ryan hugged the towel around him, dripping wet. “I only told him that you weren’t coming and he got up all pissy looking and came up here and I didn’t think he would literally pull you from bed and…this…” he rambled, offering another towel to Ryan. “Are you okay?” he asked shyly.

“I hate you.” Ryan glared, still somewhat shaking. “You’re not allowed to talk to me for the rest of the day.” A threat like that would make Spencer laugh and purposely run his mouth just to annoy Ryan, but Brendon merely frowned and set the towel down.

“We have to leave in a half hour,” he said instead, not directly to Ryan. “Come if you want or stay here. Makes no difference to me.” He sounded hurt and even a little mad and Ryan felt bad for saying that to him, not moving as he watched Brendon leave, pulling the bathroom door shut behind him.

“Fuck.” Ryan sighed, dropping the wet towel to the bathroom floor. Now he had to go because he felt bad for upsetting Brendon who had been nothing but kind to him the past week. He was the best thing to happen to Ryan in a long time, and Ryan went and fucked it all up. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend the day with Brendon, he was even getting used to all the water adventures, but rather he didn’t want to be with a whole bunch of people he didn’t know who would all be after Brendon’s attention. 

With another heavy sigh, Ryan removed his pajamas and turned the water back on, waiting for it to warm to a comfortable temperature to take a proper shower and join the other’s downstairs. 

**~*~*~*~**

Okay, so, maybe the morning wasn’t as bad as Ryan thought it would be. 

Brendon’s task that day was basically to provide a boat tour of the island to the people that were really no different than Spencer or Jon or even Ryan. Since the three had already been on this adventure, they focused more on relaxing than anything else. Jon still went camera crazy, actually snapping pictures of the scenery rather than his boyfriend who mostly laid his head on Jon’s shoulder, watching with a content smile.

Ryan got the golden seat behind the wheel with Brendon, everyone sitting around the edges on padded cushions. This boat, which belonged to the place Brendon was employed at, had little glass squares on the bottom that allowed the ocean to be viewed beneath the boat. It was neat when they stopped long enough for the fearful fist to swim beneath them, bright and beautiful in all shapes, sizes, and designs. 

The biggest annoyance to the entire morning was that Brendon was practically ignoring Ryan. Sure, Ryan kind of deserved it for the way he treated Brendon that morning, but it still irritated him all the same. The most Brendon gave Ryan during the tour was a few small glances, looking away as soon as they made eye contact, and a few little words that were unimportant and blank. 

When they got back on land, about a few hours later, Ryan waited for everyone to disperse before cornering Brendon to straighten everything out before it went too far. "Are you mad at me?" Ryan asked, biting his lip.

"Thought you weren't talking to me for the day," Brendon said flatly, clearly hurt. 

"I didn't mean that." Ryan sighed out, looking directly at Brendon who avoided direct contact. "Bren;" Ryan put his hand on Brendon's arm, but Brendon pulled away, really making Ryan's stomach knot. All he could think about how he was going to be left again. "I was...this morning, I shouldn't have treated you like that." Ryan shook his head, looking down to the wooden panels beneath them. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Brendon's tone got less upset but was still dull compared to his usual upbeat attitude. "I know you didn't mean those things." Ryan looked up, hopeful, seeing Brendon looking over his shoulder. "But it still hurt to hear it."

"Brendon, I-"

"I don't always do this, you know." His eyes sparkled with the beginnings of tears that Ryan knew he was responsible for. He got sicker. "I don't just open my home and life to every person who comes to Hawaii for a little getaway."

"Which is why-"

"And I was skeptical, you know, when Bill said he met people he wanted to bring by." Again Brendon cut Ryan off, so Ryan gave up to shut his mouth and listen, seeing Brendon unravel before him. "I've kept my own needs in the back of my mind for years to help provide for Amelia, but when I saw you, Ryan, something, I don't know what, but something just said you were different. That you would be worth breaking all my rules against having interest in tourists because you would be worth the risk; that maybe, just _maybe_ , you were what I've been looking for." 

Ryan was speechless; thinking only of every possible way to tell himself how stupid he was. 

"And I know you won't stay in Hawaii forever, but I just wanted _something_ for once." The sheer desperation in Brendon's voice, the opening of his heart and soul, continuously made Ryan feel worse. "I've been trying, Ryan; I've been trying so hard to make you happy because you make me want to. Just being around you makes me happy."

"Brendon, I really-"

"I told you so much, Ryan. Only my closest friends, people I've known for years, know what I so openly shared with you about my past." A tear slipped from his eye and down his cheek. "It's not like it's easy for me either. I thought that if I told you about me, that maybe you'd relax and talk about yourself or, at the very least, be more comfortable here."

Ryan reached up and used his thumb to wipe the tear away, Brendon allowing him. "Brendon, I'm happy you felt like you could share those things with me." Ryan whispered, some higher authority controlling his mouth and actions because his thoughts were a jumbled mess. "And it's never easy for anyone to share their personal baggage." 

"When you shut me out like that this morning, it made me wonder if maybe you don't think of me the way I do of you and that maybe we should just be friends instead of...whatever we are." Brendon's voice quieted and his head fell down, one hand wiping over his eyes briefly. 

"I'll be the first to tell you, Bren, that I'm not the most confident or stable of people." Ryan gave a tiny half-smile, putting a hand on the other man's shoulder. This time, Brendon didn't pull away. "And I shouldn't have treated you the way I have this entire time because you've been nothing short of kind and generous and downright amazing." Brendon gave a small, half-hearted laugh. "The reason I push people away is because I'm afraid to let anyone get close; after what I went through with Pete."

"But I'm not Pete." Brendon stressed, looking up desperately to Ryan. "I wouldn't, I couldn't, do that to you--to anyone." he shook his head. 

"I know." Ryan's smile got a bit bigger and more real. "But it still scared me how much I want to let you in." he dropped his hand.

"Then do it." Brendon wrapped his arms around Ryan and pulled him into a tight hug, pressing his face into Ryan's shoulder. "At least for the next few days. You can trust me; I won't let you fall."

Ryan brought his arms up around Brendon's shoulders to hug him back, shutting his eyes. "I'm trying," he said quietly into Brendon's shirt, suppressing his sudden urge to cry. He didn't want to get so close to someone he only had for a few more days.

But he wanted so badly to be close to Brendon, and it scared him immensely. 

**~*~*~*~**

"We met in college," Ryan said, staring at the ground as he and Brendon slowly walked along the path. "My freshman year, his junior. I was studying to be an English teacher and he was going for business management." Brendon held firmly to Ryan's hand, for reassurance, gently saying their linked hands between them. To be fair to Brendon, and to truly show he was sorry, Ryan decided to share his history with Pete with Brendon. 

They walked through the wooded area around Brendon's home where they had left Spencer, Jon, Gabe, and William to a no doubt interesting game of _I Never..._ , because it wasn't something Ryan casually and openly talk about. Spencer already knew, probably Jon, and it wasn't as traumatizing as what Brendon's been through, but it was still painful for Ryan to think about, let alone talk about.

"I wasn't popular in high school, Spencer was really my only friend, and I wanted that to be different in college. I wanted popularity; I wanted people to hang out with on Friday night instead of sitting alone in my room." He looked straight ahead, feeling Brendon's eyes resting on him. "I went to as many parties as I could to meet as many people as possible. Since it was a community college, the rules and standards were pretty low.

"It was a Saturday night in mid-February that I met Pete." Ryan stopped walking and exhaled heavily, looking down to the path again. Brendon silently stopped as well, patiently waiting for Ryan to continue. Ryan was glad that the other man didn't try to hug him or tell him 'it's okay' or anything else because he just needed a moment. All Brendon did was hold tightly to Ryan's hand, giving a single squeeze, letting Ryan gather himself in all the time he needed.

"I should have known from the moment we met that he was bad news, but Pete was one of the most well known people on campus and I got blinded by the fact that he was talking to a no one like me." Ryan should his head. "I should have known it was all too good to be true." he sighed, starting to walk. Brendon remained silent, listening, letting Ryan set the pace and lead them along. Ryan had no idea where they were going; he just walked farther into the woods.

"Pete talked to me the entire night--about what, I don't remember. He loved to talk." Ryan gave a little huff of laughter. "Next thing I knew, we were making out and I woke up in his bed the next morning." he bit his lip hard for a moment before going against his better judgment and muttering, "Naked," in the tiniest whisper.

This time, Brendon stopped, staring wide eyed at Ryan and asking, "He raped you?!"

"I can't say it was rape because for all I know, I willingly agreed," he shamefully said. "More like...took advantage of me." Ryan guessed for lack of better explanation. "Spence doesn't know about that little detail so please-"

"I won't." Brendon cut him off with a firm shake of his head. Ryan stared into Brendon's eyes, the younger sad and worried but strong and trusting at the same time. "It's not my secret to share." Ryan smiled thankfully.

"Anyway," he exhaled, "I freaked out because I had never ended up completely naked without any recollection of what happened." Ryan again started walking. "They always warn about accepting open drinks from people you don't know..." Another moment of dry laughter. "I freaked out, thinking about possible STDs I might have picked up--honestly, I thought my life was over.

"My dramatic attitude ceased when Pete came by a few days later and gave me all this sappy bullshit about liking me. Everything he said was textbook, but I ate every fucking word." In a way, Ryan wanted to cry. He wanted to cry for his stupidity and also for the memories of a love lost. He didn't, he couldn't; not now.

"College became quite an experience after that." Ryan tipped his head back, staring up at the looming tree branches above where the sun poked through the leafy openings; relying on Brendon to keep him from running into anything or tripping. "Pete and I started dating, though it was hardly that, and I skipped classes to party or because I had a hangover. For a little while I was even pretty heavy into drugs and alcohol." There was shame in Ryan's voice. He's fucked up a lot; he didn't see how Brendon, Mr. Practically Perfect, liked an emotional wreck like him.

"When I got my masters, barely, I realized that I had to change to get my bachelors and move on to my goal. Pete and I got an apartment and I stopped constantly partying. I gave up the drug cocktails I'd become dependent on and limited my drinking greatly after a stupid joke Pete tried on me." Ryan felt Brendon relax and the atmosphere lost tension. "Pete still spent a lot of time with his friends at clubs and bars and whatever else, but he always came home to me." his head dropped.

"Aside from the sex, there really wasn't anything between me and Pete; I see that now. But I did, I do, love him," Ryan admitted. "It started off an attention type of love, people noticed and talked to me, then became a physical time of love from all the sex, and for awhile it was even a chemical kind of love when Pete seemed to be around more when I was high." The pain showed on his face. "Eventually, over time, it turned into an actual 'in love' connection with Pete that I thought equally shared. I asked him to marry me, it took all the confidence I had, he said yes, we planned it all out, got everything ready, and I got dumped the night before the wedding for some guy named 'Patrick'." The name carried venom. 

"I'm sorry," Brendon softly said and Ryan started laughing to himself.

"Why?" he asked, looking to the truly heartfelt Hawaiian. "It was my stupidity for enduring all the shit Pete created. Spencer tried to warn me, Jon tried to warn me; hell, I even tried to warn myself. But I continuously let Pete control my emotions and drag me along." Ryan was getting cynical, on the verge of a breakdown. "I'd beg and plead with the asshole to do stuff with me and he gave me excuses, fucking flat out lies, I knew they were, yet part of me believed them anyway. I caught him cheating on me, more than once, and I stayed with him still because he gave me some fucking story about how it was a huge mistake and how he loved me and how fucking sorry he was."

"Ryan; hey, calm down." Brendon stopped and looked at Ryan with concern, taking his other hand. "Deep breaths; don't get overworked by the past, okay? It's already happened with; done and over." Ryan stared, so many thoughts in his head that it was almost like there was nothing there at all. It seemed like the world froze and the only thing that brought him back was the realization that Brendon was now hugging him, close and tight and warm, and everything melted away. "Just breathe," he said softly into Ryan's hear; like the voice of a conscience.

Ryan went limp, leaning into the embrace and letting his head drop to Brendon's shoulder. He listened, drowning out the distant ocean and bird calls, focusing on the steady breathing rhythm Brendon had going instead. They stood like that, Brendon supporting Ryan, not saying a word or making any other movements. Ryan had control; when he moved, Brendon would let go. Until then, he would hold Ryan, being the strength Ryan needed. 

It was then that Ryan knew he was completely fucked.

He wanted so bad to stay detached, but it was impossible to stay away. Brendon was everything that Ryan wanted and needed. Ryan was scared that he felt so dependent, relying on Brendon to make him feel better and trusted him almost more than he did Spencer; his longest, closest friend. Plain and simple, Ryan loved Brendon.

He was _in love_ with Brendon. 

After about seven minutes, Ryan inhaled deeply, and lifted his head; Brendon asking, "You okay now?" without letting Ryan go. Ryan nodded and straightened, Brendon slowly releasing him, still giving him an apprehensive look. "Sure?" Ryan nodded again, wiping his eyes quickly even though there really wasn't any need to. He felt better, a lot better, because he just needed someone to talk to. And it was easier talking to Brendon than Spencer; probably because Spencer spent the past few years criticizing Ryan's relationship with Pete. 

"We should probably get back..." Ryan mumbled. He looked around for a moment and saw he had no idea where they were. There were just trees everywhere. "Which way?" he asked, lost.

"Um..." Brendon too looked around then rubbed his neck, a nervous expression on his face. "I really don't know..."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Ryan frowned hard. It was nearly a scowl.

"Well, I wasn't exactly paying attention and you kept randomly changing what direction we were walking in, so I honestly have no clue which way is home." Brendon replied with subtle hints of frustration.

"I thought you knew your way around," Ryan said with traces of bitterness. He was tired and wanted to lay down in Brendon's bed or something; especially as he was staring to develop a headache. 

"I don't exactly spend a lot of time exploring the forest," the man half-snapped back. Ryan unintentionally but visibly moved away from Brendon some, as though afraid of being attacked. Brendon shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "It's okay;" he exhaled. "The island isn't that big and we've only been walking about a half hour so we couldn't have gotten too far." he reassured.

"We're still lost in a forest," Ryan muttered, looking around quickly again and spotting a tree stump not covered with moss and bugs and other things. He walked towards it, twigs snapping beneath his feet, and sat heavily down; dropping his head to his hands with his elbows digging into his knees. "Endless water, volcanoes, and thick forests; Hawaii's a fucking death trap," he said miserably.

Brendon ignored the comment and studied the trees around them before going to one a bit farther down the path, jumping up and grabbing a hold of the low branch. It took Ryan a moment to notice Brendon had moved, locating the man pulling himself u the tree trunk. "What the hell are you doing?" Ryan asked, hands dropping.

"Getting us out," Brendon answered with a small grunt, balancing on the branch once up.

"You're not a monkey; get out o that tree before you hurt yourself!" Ryan sternly commanded. "You have no idea how high that tree is or what's farther up it!"

"I used to climb trees in Florida." Brendon called down.

"Of course you did," Ryan muttered beneath his breath, sighing on top. "What if you fall?" He stood.

"Catch me." Brendon smiled before reaching for the next Branch to pull himself to. Ryan made a low growling noise in his throat as he went to the base of the tree Brendon was scaling, head tipped back to watch. The tree wasn't as tall as Ryan thought it was, but it was still higher than anything he was comfortable with.

"Be careful!" Ryan yelled as he heard things snap, a few leaves drifting down. Brendon didn't reply, just kept climbing higher. "Don't go all the way up or you won't get back down!" Ryan crossed his arms. 

"Relax, Ross!" Came an eventual response. "Gotta see over the trees!" Ryan scowled, outwardly looking very pissed off, but inwardly he was freaking out. What if Brendon got stuck? What if he hurt himself? What if he slipped and fell? Ryan has no medical training and can't begin to figure out how to get out of the wooded area. He could wander, but it could take him hours to get out, because he really wasn't the greatest with directions.

Ryan stared up into the tree, unable to see Brendon anymore, neck beginning to ache in protest. He didn't hear anything and tried to keep his thoughts level, but eventually couldn't stop from yelling, "Brendon?" up towards the sky. No reply came so he tried louder, thinking only that Brendon was stuck. "Brendon!" Ryan angrily tried a third time.

Continuing silence made Ryan grow nervous, his mind running through every possible worst scenario possible, debating if he was courageous and stupid enough to go after the younger man. Probably, because Ryan wasn't about to lose someone else that he's let into his heart. But right as Ryan contemplated how and where to begin climbing, he was never good at these kinds of things, more leaves came down; followed by Brendon. Ryan's heart slowed and the nausea passed, relief flooding him as he watched.

"You done now?" Ryan called up.

"We're not far from the house," Brendon answered. He was coming down similar to how he went up, stepping from branch to branch, using mostly upper body strength to lower himself. "There's a storm coming too," he said after.

"Then hurry up!" The sentence was barely out of his mouth when Brendon lost his footing and slid, luckily managing to grab onto a branch quick enough to prevent himself from dropping completely. "Brendon!" Ryan's heart stopped. "You okay?!" 

"Yeah;" there was evident pain in the reply. He gave out a low groan, letting his body hang for a moment then lowering himself completely down the rest of the way. When his feet touched the ground, Ryan smacked his arm then hugged him, heart again racing. 

"You fucking scared ten years off my life," he said into Brendon's shoulder as he held him close.

"Sorry," Brendon mumbled like a scolded child. Ryan had a death grip on him, working down the adrenaline, distant thunder rolling. "We have to go." Brendon's voice followed. Ryan lingered a moment longer then he let go, checking Brendon over quickly for wounds. "I'm fine; honest." he laughed, not fully convincing.

"No more Tarzan shit." Ryan firmly told him, his glare becoming less threatening.

"Yes mom," Brendon teased, grabbing Ryan's hand and starting off towards the left. "Come on," he said with urgency, thunder crashing again; louder.

**~*~*~*~**

"This is very deja vu;" Spencer addressed the two when they finally reached the house, smirking. Ryan and Brendon stood just inside the door, soaked completely, dripping onto the wood. By the time they made it out of the woods, it had started pouring, so they ran, fell in mud, and got assaulted by some rocks; reaching the house a dirty, soaked mess. 

"You're a bit wet," Gabe commented smugly, shirtless and sitting on the couch. 

"Really?" Ryan sarcastically snapped, freezing from the air conditioner blowing at them. 

"Shouldn' of been in the rain," Gabe said after.

"Shut. Up." Brendon hissed through a clenched jaw, equally cold and irritated. 

"Here;" William stood at the balcony overlooking the living room and tossed down some towels that he went to get when the two entered all wet. Both gratefully accepted and wrapped themselves in the cloth. "Want me to start the shower?"

"Please," Brendon said, shivering. William disappeared again. Brendon stepped from his shoes, Ryan doing the same, leading the way to the stairs while leaving a wet trail behind. Jon made himself useful and located Brendon's mop, cleaning the puddles for Brendon who quietly uttered a, "Thanks," with a smile as he passed.

They went to the bedroom where the shower was running, William stepping from the bathroom as they entered the room. "Want the other shower too?" he asked, looking to both. Brendon looked questioningly to Ryan, seeing what he wanted to do. 

"We're big boys." Ryan shook his head. "I'm covered in mud and freezing; I don't give a fuck if we all get in that shower as long as I get clean and warm." William snorted with amusement, Brendon hiding his own laughter, Ryan oblivious to the humor the comment held.

"We'll have a massive shower orgy some other time," Bill said, stepping out o their way and leaving the room; shutting the door behind him. Ryan quickly went into the bathroom and dropped the towel, wasting no time stripping and immersing himself in the warm spray; letting out a long, happy sigh.

"Do you want me to wait or...?" Brendon stood in the doorway.

"Just get the fuck in here." Ryan rolled his eyes, hugging himself beneath the shower. Brendon smiled and did the same thing Ryan had, tugging the shower curtain shut to prevent the water from escaping. It was crowded, but Ryan didn't much care because he as warm and the mud was slipping into the drain and _mmmm_ , Brendon's abs. He shut his eyes with contentment, leaning against the tile.

"Do you plan on actually bathing?" Brendon amusedly asked after a few moments of pure bliss. 

"Eventually," Ryan answered dreamily, eyes still closed. God, he loved showers. A moment later though, he felt something run over his shoulder and down his arm so he opened his eyes, seeing Brendon gently washing him with a soapy cloth. Ryan shut his eyes again, leaning towards Brendon, enjoying it probably way too much.

But he had a very naked, very wet, very hot man bathing him so he was allowed to be grinning like the Cheshire Cat. 

Brendon washed him leisurely, exchanging the cloth for shampoo; combing it with his fingers through Ryan's hair. He was on cloud nine during the whole thing, even more happy when Brendon's body pressed against his while his hair was being tended to, because was warm and _mmmm_ , those abs. But Ryan's cloud quickly vanished when Brendon's whispered heavily into his ear, "You've no idea how bad I want to blow you right now," in this somewhat raspy, dead serious tone that flushed Ryan's entire body.

His eyes opened, making contact with Brendon's which were as serious as his voice as he finished Ryan's hair; locking Ryan somewhere in the lustful depths of his mind. "Do it." he whispered back when he could think again, sparing no doubt or question at all. "Blow me; here, now." he swallowed.

The way Brendon's mouth curved into a devious grin should be illegal, the Hawaiian reaching around Ryan to the shower head which he turned until the water came out as a misty spray instead. He then grabbed Ryan's arms and turned him, the two switching spots, pushing Ryan back against the wall. Brendon lowered himself to his knees, taking hold of Ryan's hips, keeping them back against the tile as he began kissing Ryan's stomach. 

Looking down to watch him through strands of water drenched hair, Ryan didn't think he's seen anything as incredibly sexy as Brendon was at that moment. His skin was tanned, obviously, but it was pink from the warmth of the shower; glistening with water droplets sliding down. His hair was matted against his head, over his face, so Ryan moved his hands to Brendon's hair to comb it back and properly see him. 

When Brendon's tongue poked into Ryan's bellybutton, his mind completely shut down, head falling back and lids dropping with a long mental stream of _yessssss_. He was hard in record time, everything so warm and inviting, feeling absolutely perfect for the first time in years. There wasn't a single thought in Ryan's mind at that moment except how good he felt and how fucking talented Brendon's tongue was.

His mind completely crashed when Brendon moved lower, licking at the head of Ryan's erection then taking him completely into his mouth. Ryan's hands tightened in Brendon's hair and his jaw dropped as a broken moan slipped out. Brendon hummed satisfactorily, the vibrations shooting through Ryan; prompting another moan. Brendon's tongue ran up and down and all around and it reminded Ryan of a lollipop in a way until his mind got too fuzzy with ecstasy to even remember what his name was.

Ryan hadn't experienced anything as amazing as Brendon's mouth since he learned what kinds of joys his prostate held the day he lost his virginity (he won't go there, though; one painful story a day is plenty). The moment Brendon began sucking, cheeks hollowing with every antagonizing slow movement, Ryan really got vocal as he tugged subconsciously at Brendon's hair. Brendon laughed, more vibrations, and Ryan whimpered. 

Blow jobs shouldn't be so incredibly amazing. 

"B-Bren..." he stuttered out, mouth dry despite all the misty steam around them. Brendon hummed lightly, pressing his thumbs into Ryan's hips, letting him know that Brendon knew what Ryan couldn't say. To this, Ryan was grateful, because his throat was pretty shot to hell. It was starting to throb from all the noise Ryan had no control over but oh, was it worth the pain. 

There was a tightening and tingling in his abdomen, a feeling Ryan hadn't had in some time, a warning sign that his body was almost finished. Warmth stretched throughout him in branch-like trails, Ryan's toes curling with a squeaking noise against the bathtub. After another small whimpering whine, Ryan came, hard, probably harder than he's ever come, into Brendon's mouth with a nonstop string of, "BrendonBrendonBrendon;" that was desperate, quick, and even slutty sounding. Brendon, to Ryan's amazement, took it all and ran his tongue over Ryan's dying erection one last time before pulling off with a purposely produced 'pop'.

Ryan's hands fell limp to his side, chest moving in exaggerated movements, and back sliding along the tile so he was slouching; Brendon's grip keeping him from going down entirely. "That...you... _wow_." Ryan choppily breathed out three sentences in three words.

"Good?" Brendon asked, standing up, not letting Ryan go.

"Understatement," Ryan mumbled, bringing his heavy arms to Brendon's neck and pulling him close to force their mouths together in a kiss. Ryan didn't care if Brendon's mouth had just been all over him, he needed to be kissed. Brendon didn't object as he kissed back, and Ryan found cloud nine all over. "Try fucking amazing," he said against Brendon's lips.

"Stop wasting water!" There was a hard knock on the bathroom door. "Plus, there's lightning now. You shouldn't be in the shower if there's lightning." Spencer tried to sound knowledgeable, but he was pretty wasted. 

"Fuck off!" Ryan called to his friend, kissing Brendon more.

"You!" Spencer laughed.

"He already has," another voice, Gabe, Ryan thought, answered.

"Once was enough for my ears." William's almost inaudible tone seeped through.

"Out of the shower!" Spencer instructed with his usual adopted parental tone.

"And off in your bed!" Gabe added, laughter and 'Ow!' following. 

"Just keep it safe, Ross, or I'll kick your ass!" Jon warned with a threatening voice that made Ryan laugh. Jon was hardly threatening. He was probably the most mellow person Ryan's ever met--but when he got mad enough, it was like WWIII.

"No glove, no love," Gabe said, still laughing.

"All of you, out of my room!" Brendon yelled, smiling, pulling from Ryan to turn the shower off.

"Party pooper!" Spencer whined.

"At least record it next time!" Gabe too sounded disappointed.

"Gabriel Saporta!" Bill's reprimanding and angered voice followed. "Get your mind out of the gutter, you pervert, and try..." his voice faded as they all headed back downstairs. Brendon got out of the shower and grabbed more towels, wrapping one around Ryan and assisting him out.

"The bed actually sounds lovely." Ryan commented as Brendon dried him, tired from his very satisfying orgasm and busy, adventurous day. 

"Then bed it is," Brendon softly said, kissing Ryan's forehead then leaving the bathroom to find boxers. Once dressed, Ryan went to the large bed while Brendon quickly cleaned up the bathroom before joining him. Ryan was half asleep when Brendon climbed into the bed, putting a blanket over him and lying down as well; still as warm and inviting as he was earlier.

**~*~*~*~**

A loud crash of thunder woke Ryan with a start and he sat up, looking round. The storm raged outside, heavy rain, lightning, and crashing thunder. "'kay?" Brendon muttered, waking from Ryan's movement.

"Yeah," he mumbled back, lying back down. His eyes fell shut and he was about to go to sleep again when he heard the bedroom door slowly creak open.

"B-Brenny?" a shaken whispered came into the room.

"S'Bill," Ryan said, pushing tiredly at Brendon. The younger sat up enough to look to the door, propped on one arm to keep from falling back.

"C-can I...sleep with you?" William sheepishly asked, sounding on the verge of tears.

"'Course," Brendon sleepily replied, scooting closer to Ryan. The door closed and quick, light footsteps came to the bed, the mattress moving as the other man got on. "S'kay, Bill," Brendon mumbled, giving over some of the blanket before lying down. "Night."

"Goodnight." Bill whispered, still sounding fearful. Brendon put his arms around Ryan's waist and pressed their foreheads together, breath evening out as he fell asleep once more.

**~*~*~*~**

Probably an hour or two later, Ryan woke again, still hearing the storm outside. Brendon was soundly sleeping next to him, with William making soft breathing noises on the other side. He moved to get comfortable, realizing that he suddenly had very little room to do so. 

Pushing his upper body from the mattress and twisting, blinking for clarity, a flash of lightning revealed Spencer curled up on the other side of Ryan, fast asleep and hugging Ryan's pillow tightly. Groaning to himself, Ryan fell back down, moving even closer to Brendon who sighed, "I know," as he straightened his legs to give Ryan more room. 

Sleep came quickly enough to claim him again. 

**~*~*~*~**

Ryan hadn't had a nightmare since he was little, but that night, he had a twisted one about Hell. Once again awaking, feeling the flames licking at his skin, Ryan sat up to collect his surroundings to end the nightmare. His breathing was off, but it wasn't too bad. The storm hadn't given up yet, and Ryan began to wonder if it was hurricane or something; the room still fairly dark.

Brendon hadn't moved, Spencer was still against his other side, turned the other way now, and Ryan could hear the stable breaths of William on the other side of Brendon. Stability; Ryan liked that. It was calming, soothing. But after a moment, the lighting flashed to show a body that wasn't there when Ryan had last fallen asleep. 

He had to strain his eyes to see the quick, bright flash give away dark hair. The only person that he knew with black hair there was Gabe, and Ryan wondered when everyone kept arriving; inviting themselves to the bed. It was like they were kids, with Ryan and Brendon being the parents, running to 'mommy' and 'daddy' when they got scared. 

"Lay down." Brendon's sleepy voice broke Ryan's thoughts, a very weak grasp enclosing Ryan's wrist and tugging it back. Ryan lowered his body down, trying not to move too much and disrupt everyone, Brendon's arm slipping over Ryan's stomach and lips brushing against Ryan's head.

"Gabe," he said quietly, yawning. 

"S'okay," Brendon replied. "Sleep." He inhaled and exhaled loudly, Ryan feeling himself relax in the familiar grip. Spencer mumbled something incoherent into the pillow, whining a bit, and Ryan smiled as he drifted off again.

Stability. Familiarity. Sleep.

**~*~*~*~**

Nausea was the next cause of Ryan's crude break away from sleep. Seriously? He was way too hot. And it was starting to make him feel sick. He forced his overtired body up once more, blinking his sight clear and examining everything. The storm finally died down to a light rain. the sun starting to climb into the sky to give a low quality of light for Ryan to see.

Brendon was still beside him, straight and warm and yeah. Behind Brendon was William, half on top of Gabe as the two peacefully slept, wrapped around each other beneath the blanket. On the other side of the bed was Spencer, completely out with the pillow in his clutch. It was just like when Ryan fell asleep; only, he heard Jon's light snoring part of the mix now. Ryan looked to see his friend somehow spooned against Spencer, and wondered how the hell they all managed to fit.

"Ry?" Brendon yawned out, moving. He sat up carefully beside Ryan, just as exhausted.

"S'too hot," Ryan mumbled, taking careful breaths to keep from throwing up. "I feel sick."

"Need something?" Brendon asked, bringing a hand to Ryan's back to rub it soothingly, yawning. Ryan shook his head, pushing the blanket from his body before he literally set on fire. "Ya sure?"

"Just too...crowded..." Ryan frowned, eyes flicking over the four surplus bodies. Brendon hummed, hand falling down and eyes shutting briefly. He too got out from beneath the blanket, crawling to the end of the bed and sliding off.

"C'mon." He reached to Ryan, helping him off as well. Ryan followed, he had to get away from all the heat, rubbing his eyes with his free hand and stumbling some as Brendon led him from the room. His legs shook, not really awake themselves, so he held as tight as he could to the railing when Brendon decided they were going downstairs. 

They headed to living room, the colder air a refreshing relief against Ryan's warm body, and the room a golden color. Brendon released Ryan's hand as he lay down on his back on the couch, getting comfortable and motioning for Ryan to lie down too. Ryan complied instantly, trying not to fall down like his body wanted, curling into a perfect fit against Brendon. "Night," Brendon said lazily, kissing Ryan's head and holding him securely; blanket on the back of the couch should it be needed.

"Night," Ryan replied with a smile, nuzzling his face into Brendon's neck. He felt comfortable and relaxed and overall perfect; just like he had hours before. Brendon fell asleep quickly, followed by Ryan, the older relieved that the couch only had room for them. The feeling of Brendon's body against his, the steady breathing, the familiar rhythm of his heart; it was all Ryan really wanted. 

Stability. Familiarity. Sleep. Perfect. 

_In love_.


	11. Day Ten

**Day Ten**

The smell of coffee burst through Ryan’s dreams, so with an annoyed sigh, he opened his eyes, giving up on the whole sleep thing all together. The living room was decently brighter now, though still faded with morning, and Ryan guessed it to be somewhere around seven; maybe eight. He sat up, carefully straddling Brendon so as not to wake him, rubbing his eyes and yawning. At least he wasn’t immensely hot this time and the thought of coffee dimmed his morning attitude. 

Getting up was tricky, he didn’t want to disturb Brendon, but Ryan managed without any damage. Brendon made a tiny displeased noise, shuffling around and curling for warmth. Ryan pulled the blanket from the back of the couch to cover him, moving quietly to the kitchen for a warm cup of caffeinated heaven. The closer he got, the stronger the smell, and Ryan could practically taste it on his tongue by the time he reached the stool seating. 

William was in the kitchen, leaning against the other side of the stools with his weight supported by the hand on the counter; a cup of coffee beside him as he looked over the newspaper. “Coffee?” Ryan asked hopefully, eyes half lidded. Bill looked up and smiled, standing straight and shutting the paper. 

“Good morning,” he said, turning to open a cupboard and grab a mug which he filled with steaming black coffee. “Anything else?” William asked, passing the cup over. “Milk? Sugar? God knows Brendon’s got sugar.”

“S’fine,” Ryan said with a smile, thankful for the coffee and amused by William’s comment. Straight black coffee was actually really bad, but the bitter taste helped wake him up more. “You’re up early,” he said when his focused on the oven’s clock. 

“Not too bad.” William shrugged, sipping his own drink which was lighter in color from the additives. “I don’t really like storms so I don’t always sleep the best.”

“I kinda figured.” Ryan nodded, thinking of the man coming fearfully into the bedroom the previous night. “It was pretty bad too.”

“Yeah.” William nodded absently in agreement. “I’ve never really liked storms, something about the noise, I guess, and the flashing lightning creeps me out. Normally I can manage to sleep through them, but not last night.” he sighed. “Last night I couldn’t take it.” he frowned, looking down. “I didn’t mean to bother you and Brendon but I couldn’t get Gabe awake and…” William trailed.

“I don’t mind.” Ryan set the mug down, hand fastened around it, absorbing the warmth. William didn’t bother him that night. He knew what it was like to need someone for comfort. “It was when I woke to everyone that I got irritated.”

“That was strange to wake to.” Bill laughed weakly. “When I was younger it was really bad. Thunder made me cry and I always thought the lighting would set me or my house or family on fire.” Will rubbed at his arm. “So whenever the weatherman predicted a storm, I would come stay here and share Brendon’s bed because he always knew how to make me feel better. He’s good at that; knowing how to make people feel happier and more comfortable.”

“So I’ve noticed,” Ryan said with a little nod, earning more weak laughter. “Spencer’s not big on storms either.” He took another sip of coffee, longer this time, swallowing in one swift motion. “But that’s because when he was eight, his mom and sisters got in a really bad accident on the way home from dance class during heavy rain.” 

“That’s horrible.” William went back to frowning, eyebrows pulled together.

“He’s always been super protective of the twins.” Ryan put the mug back down. “They were all in the hospital for a few days with minor injuries, things that healed just fine, but it scared Spencer half to death anyway. He’s hated storms ever since—they remind him of that night.” Ryan stared into the mug. “The sight of the cuts and bruises and the thought that they could have been seriously injured or that he could have even lost them is what Spencer’s so afraid of.”

“Understandable,” William muttered. “At least they’re okay.”

“Spence still has the nightmares though; even after sixteen years.” Ryan frowned as well. His friend would have a nightmare about something happening to his family, maybe even Ryan and/or Jon, about twice a year; even more during bad storms. Spencer had a per diem counselor because of it. 

It got silent, both men lost in their private thoughts, when a sleepy, “Coffee?” came from behind Ryan. A sleepy Spencer got onto the stool beside Ryan, taking Ryan’s cup and drinking a bit; giving a disgusted look as he handed it back. “I hate black,” he mumbled, rubbing his tongue against his teeth a few times.

“Racist.” Ryan teased as he accepted the drink back. William laughed and got another mug for Spencer, giving him the same options as Ryan then getting what Spencer asked for.

“Where’s Brendon?” Spencer asked while dumping sugar into his cup.

“Sleeping.” Ryan answered. “S’early still.” 

“Yeah, but, he’s usually up long before anyone else.” Spencer frowned.

“Must be tired.” Ryan shrugged. “Jon’s still asleep,” he pointed out.

“Jon’s lazy.” Spencer rolled his eyes, taking a drink from his mug. “And I think he was up most of the night…”

“We all were,” William muttered just as quietly. “Gabe’s probably a hell of a lot lazier than Jon,” he said a moment later, smiling like it was a competition. Really, it was a change of subject. “He’ll sleep half the day away if someone lets him. Then, even when he’s awake, he bitches about having to actually leave the bed.”

“Jon’s not that lazy.” Spencer’s frown was somewhat sideways now. “He’s more…”

“Zen.” Ryan stated simply, finishing his coffee, already feeling the caffeine take hold. “Jon is a very mellow, laid back man.” Spencer hummed agreement. “Unless you piss him off. Then it’s like a one-person World War three.” Ryan shook for a second as he thought about the one time he saw Jon incredibly mad. “Fortunately, it takes a lot to piss Jon off enough to see that.” Spencer nodded slowly.

“Gabe’s not one to get mad.” Bill bit his lip thoughtfully, dropping to his elbows for support on the counter; hands folded and stretched out before him. “He just gets all pouty and whiney and sad looking. Like, if he’s upset, he just bitches until he gets his way or is ignored long enough.” 

“Kind of like Ryan.” Spencer smiled against the rim of the mug held between his lips.

“And you get insufferable when mad.” Ryan commented back. “You make Spence mad and you’ll get a glare, the infamous bitchface, and a verbal lashing of incredibly descriptive words you probably never heard of.” William snorted while Ryan gave a victorious smile. Spencer gave him the finger.

“Any big plans today?” William asked lightly, looking between the pair. “I know Bren’s gotta work for a few hours from late morning to early afternoon,” he looked at Ryan, “And I know you are the typical mainlander that won’t leave a grain of sand untouched.” William shifted his gaze to Spencer, smirking.

“I like being active.” Spencer justified himself, head held high. “And I doubt I’ll be coming to Hawaii again any time soon so I want to experience as much as possible.” The bottom of his glass clinked with the counter when he put it down.

“I figured I’d hang around here for the day,” Ryan said with a one-shoulder shrug. “Since I kinda live here now; for the next four days, at least.” He noted Spencer’s scowl in his peripheral view. 

“We should all hang out then; just the three of us.” Bill beamed, standing straight again. “It’d be loads of fun!” his face illuminated as ideas unfolded in his mind. “I mean, B’s gotta work, Gabe will be useless for a few more hours, and I’m sure there’s plenty of things Jon could take pictures of to busy himself. Hawaii is all scenery.”

“I’m up for anything that doesn’t involve water,” Ryan said. Brendon was going to be off doing his touristy stuff that Ryan had no interest in, and the coffee made him want to do _something_ , and he hadn’t had time with his best friend that didn’t include Jon in awhile. And William was pretty cool too, he decided.

“Oh! I know!” William proclaimed loudly, startling the other two. “We can go shopping!” If his eyes got any wider, Ryan was confident that they’d burst from their sockets. “There’s this great area a few minutes from here!” 

“I’m not much of a shopper.” Spencer’s lips were pulled in a straight line. “I actually dread it most of the time.”

“You must be doing it wrong.” Bill frowned. “Clearly you’ve never been shopping with a gay guy,” he said a little too flamboyantly for his own good. It made Ryan smile, though. “I love shopping; even when I don’t buy anything. Just the idea of all the stuff out there…” his face got impossibly happier.

“Please?” Bill dragged out in an over exaggerated plea, addressing Spencer with an insanely pathetic pout. Ryan tried not to burst into laughter. “I made you coffee!” he whined, hands clasped together in front of his chest like he was on his knees begging instead of standing. 

“No you didn’t.” Spencer scoffed. “You made yourself coffee and gave me some.” Spencer was very stubborn at the best of times. He always had been. It wasn’t always a bad thing; though often annoying.

“Ok, fine.” William huffed. “I didn’t actually make you coffee, but I poured it and got everything you like!” Ryan had to bite his lip to keep silent. He was still very tired and the caffeine was running through his veins; it probably wasn’t the best combination. 

“I’m terribly sorry that inconvenienced you.” Sarcasm filled the tone. “It must be a difficult task.” Spencer rested his face in his hands, staring back at William, smiling cynically.

“Bitch.” Bill gave up with a scowl. “Ryan!” he whined out. “Will you come with me?!”

“Sure.” Ryan tipped his head like a confused puppy. “Why not.” William perked up and grinned, sticking his tongue out at Spencer. Really, Brendon wasn’t going to be around, so what else could Ryan do? He might as well get to know William better and maybe have fun during his vacation without having to deal with water.

“I have to shower and dress and everything.” William grabbed his and Ryan’s cups and put them in the sink, rinsing them out. “You do whatever you need to get ready and then we can leave.” he excitedly spoke.

“Should we tell anyone?” Ryan asked, wondering how much sugar William had in his coffee as he now rushed about.

“We can leave a note.” Bill answered. “Or Spencer can tell them ‘cause he knows and he’s not coming.” 

“I’m not a messenger boy.” Spencer crossed his arms over his chest.

“I know Gabe flips out when he doesn’t know where I am ‘cause he’s overly protective like that.” William looked at Spencer. “If we don’t leave a note and conveniently forget to answer our phones, he’d probably kill you for not saying anything. Brendon too; for me and Ryan.”

“Are you threatening me, Beckett?” Spencer narrowed his eyes.

“Why would I do that?” William batted his eyelashes. “I was just saying that should Ryan and I forget and you refuse to say anything, not even un-zen Jon can save you.”

“We’ll leave a note,” Ryan said, exchanging a look with William briefly.

“I’m not.” Bill shrugged. “You can.” He headed towards the stairs, half running up them.

“I don’t think I trust you alone with him.” Spencer told Ryan cautiously.

“Then I guess you’ll have to come too.” Ryan smirked, sliding off the stool and going up the stairs for his own clothes. At the top, William smiled and high-fived him, because the goal of the little conversation was to convince Spencer to come along and unattach himself from Jon for a bit.

Though the part about Gabe was scarily true. 

=-=-=-=-=

“Can we _please_ stop calling it a ‘girls day out’?”

“Nope.” William answered with a cheesy grin as he drove.

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Spencer leaned forward, “None of us are girls,” he said as he rested his forearms on the backs of both the seats in the front with his head in the center.

“But we’re the girls of the relationships,” William said, looking back at Spencer through the rear view mirror; still grinning madder than the Cheshire cat. “Thus, girls day out.”

“We’re all guys; we’re gay.” Spencer persisted. “There are no girls therefore there is no ‘girls day out’.” He made air quotes.

“Being gay simply means you like dick over pussy.” Bill replied.

“There’s a bit more to it than that,” Ryan commented to himself. He didn’t want to be part of the argument. He was still on a bit of a sugar rush from the coffee and was enjoying his happy attitude.

“And in a gay relationship, whoever bottoms most of the time is considered the girl.” William turned down another street. “Since we all hold that position and are spending the day together, I will refer to it as a girls day out.”

“You don’t know what position I fill,” Spencer said with a frown. Bill just lifted an eyebrow, to which Spencer sighed in defeat and said, “Ok, so, maybe I would be the ‘girl’ of the relationship. But I don’t like being called a girl.” He gave a small pout.

“I apologize.” William laughed. “I didn’t mean to offend your masculinity.” Ryan smiled with amusement to that, earning a smack on the arm from his friend. “But I’m still going to call it a girls day out.”

“Whatever,” Spencer muttered, falling back against his seat. “What’s the point of all this anyway?”

“Well, Brendon’s my best friend in all the world,” William started, glancing back at Spencer again, “He’s practically my brother.” Ryan already knew this was about him by the tone William used. It was no longer light and carefree. It was serious and real. “And even though I already love Ryan,” See?, “I have to make sure he passes the best friend test before I can agree to actually let them date.”

“Gabe pass Brendon’s?” Ryan asked curiously, in no way angry or upset.

“Gabe can’t pass a drug test.” Bill rolled his eyes. “Brendon likes Gabe enough to tolerate him.”

“Do I get to do the same thing to Brendon as Ryan’s best friend?” Spencer asked with a plotting tone.

“Tell me one thing you _don’t_ like about Brenny,” William said back. Spencer opened his mouth, but nothing came out. “That’s what I thought.” he smiled as Spencer closed his jaw.

“Thanks;” Ryan huffed to his friend.

“Sorry Ry, but the guy’s kinda perfect.” Ryan mentally replied with a, _yeah, I know_. “Why am I here then?” 

“’Cause you’re Ryan’s best friend. Who knows you better than a bestie?” William released the wheel with one hand to reach over and pat Ryan’s thigh. “And I just thought we could have some fun.” He shrugged after.

“Do we get to attack you with questions?” Spencer sounded too hopeful for Ryan’s taste. If somehow things got fucked up with William things might get fucked up with Brendon. Because, like Will said, he was Brendon’s best friend. Like it or not, his opinion matters in what Brendon decides to do. 

“If it makes you feel like a man again.” Bill teased, returning his hand to the wheel to pull into a parking lot of what seemed like a large outdoor mall. “I won’t talk about Brendon though because that’s all his business.”

“Fair enough,” Spencer said, indifferent. Ryan smiled to himself. He knew a lot about Brendon already.

“We are shopping with his credit card though.” Bill grinned madly again while unbuckling, reaching into his pocket and extracting a little plastic Masters card.

“You stole his credit card?” Ryan’s expression became more shocked.

“Of course not.” William rolled his eyes, scoffing. “I plan on giving it back.” He opened his door. “I’m just technically borrowing without verbal or written permission.” He slid out, the other two following.

“Won’t he get mad?” Spencer asked while rounding the car to join the others as the three headed for the shops.

“Doubt it.” William put the card away. “I always take his card when I visit. As long as we don’t crazy with it or anything, we should be fine.”

“We’re not his life long best friends though,” Spencer pointed out.

“But Ryan’s his _Juliet_ ,” William said, batting his eyelashes and swinging an arm around Ryan’s shoulders. Spencer snorted softly with laughter. “We can just use him as a peace offering; or a hostage.”

“Call me ‘Juliet’ again and you won’t metaphorically refer to yourself as a girl.” Ryan warned, shrugging William’s arm off.

“Mean!” Bill pouted, throwing his other arm around Spencer instead. “When’s the PMS attitude stop?”

“Never.” Spencer continued to laugh. “Ryan’s always a bitch.” 

“You’re always a douche,” Ryan muttered beneath his breath.

“Now, now, children,” William dropped his arm from Spencer too, “We’re here to have fun; behave yourselves.” Just in the spirit of fun, Ryan looked behind William’s back and stuck his tongue out at Spencer who mirrored it back. The man in the middle laughed.

As they reached the shops, they began to get into more crowds of people, though nowhere near as large as Ryan’s faced in Vegas, walking around with bags of things. Ryan wasn’t much of a shopper himself, he never really had the extra money, and when he did, Pete quickly spent it, but he knew the day would be nothing shy of exhausting. William had an air about him that told Ryan shopping was a hobby, probably second nature, to the man. 

“Where do you want to go first?” Bill asked in a sing-song voice, stopping shy of the sidewalk. Almost together, Ryan and Spencer shrugged, neither man caring. William tapped his finger thoughtfully against his mouth before grabbing a hand on each side of him and saying, “Clothes it is,” with a smirk. 

=-=-=-=-=

It was like high school all over again. Within an hour of being at all the stores, Ryan started getting texts from Brendon. Shortly after that, he noticed Spencer too sneaking a quick text whenever he thought no one was looking; no doubt to Jon. Ryan confirmed this suspicion when he asked Brendon what Jon was up to and got, _sittin on couch w/ phone, lookin sad. Txtn Spence?_. Brendon asked where they were, but Ryan didn’t tell him because they decided against it when they didn’t leave a note.

 _With Bill and Spence; “girls day out”_ , was what he replied with every time Brendon asked. 

But about an hour later, William discovered the others secretly texting and demanded they hand their phones over. Ryan wanted to protest and say it was a violation of privacy, but he stopped himself when he thought about the fact that William was trying to give him a good, waterless, time. And it got him more time with Spencer.

And, maybe, William’s bitchface was even scarier than Spencer’s. 

Watching his phone disappear into a shopping bag was like watching a puppy get run over in Ryan’s mind. Bill put the volumes up all the way and made sure the ringtone was different for calls and texts because if someone was calling, they could have their phones back. Unless it was Brendon or Jon calling. “I’m ignoring Gabe,” he said to their pouts. “You’ll survive.”

Luckily, William really did know how to have a good time, distracting Ryan’s mind from the _BrendonBrendonBrenon_ track it raced circles on. They went to a ton of different shops; not really buying, but playing with absolutely everything. In one, William paraded around in a ridiculously large hat, too-big sunglasses, and at least a dozen leis. He found a mannequin and posed next to it, Ryan trembling with laughter as he took a picture with Bill’s phone.

It was surprising that they didn’t get kicked out of any of them. Not even reprimanded. Hawaii was pretty chill.

Despite his protests, William bought Spencer a Hawaiian shirt, because, “Everyone needs an ugly, brightly colored button-up shirt with a floral print to be embarrassed about!” It really was pretty dreadful; neon orange with pink and yellow flowers and, well, Ryan couldn’t stop laughing. Spencer was forced to try it on, Ryan snapping a quick picture to which Spencer threatened he better not share with anyone.

“Share that with anyone,” Spencer pointed a warning finger at Ryan, “And you won’t live to see your guitar again.” It was a pretty valid warning, Spencer knew how much Ryan loved his guitar, but Ryan chose to brush the threat off and enjoy the day for what it was. Beside, it wouldn’t take long for Spencer to forget about it and let Ryan send it to everyone they know. 

=-=-=-=-=

Jealousy, Ryan decided, was a good look for Brendon. At least in the sense that Brendon got irritated that Ryan spent the day with William instead of him, even if he had to work. When the three managed to get back to the house, it was early evening, and they were nearly trampled by the three men they had left sleeping and clueless that morning.

Almost as soon as the car was parked and they were getting out to grab their stuff, Gabe came practically running from the house to grab William and threw him over his shoulder, ignoring the frustrated protesting between the giggles. Gabe slapped his boyfriend for being gone all day without letting him know where then disappeared into the house again while Jon and Brendon came out; not quite as fast as Gabe but still at a rushed pace. Jon cornered Spencer against the car and kissed him while Brendon grabbed Ryan’s wrist to pull him into one.

He muttered, “Missed you,” against Ryan’s lips, holding him tight in a way that would tell anyone else _mine_ if they knew anything about reading body language. Yeah, Ryan liked the whole jealousy thing. The way Brendon kissed him was amazing, too. It was hard and needy, yet it was soft and relieved at the same time. Ryan saw Spencer begin showing Jon what they got so he closed his eyes, putting trust completely in Brendon at that moment, because what he was doing was _way_ better than what his friend was. 

Eventually though, Brendon pulled back, smiling at Ryan in a happy, somewhat dorky, way. “Did you have a good time?” he asked, holding Ryan by his forearms; strong but not threatening. 

“It was okay,” Ryan answered with a one-shoulder shrug, grinning back. “Would have been better with you,” he added after, making Brendon light up more and earning himself another sweet kiss. “How was your day?”

“Beside right now, going to work was my highlight.” Brendon rolled his eyes. “I was ready to hold a pillow over Gabe’s face!” Ryan snorted softly. “He wouldn’t leave me or Jon alone! He kept asking if we knew where you went or when you’d get back or what you were doing. He wouldn’t stay still for five minutes and, for once, I _couldn’t_ get him to drink anything!”

“That bad, huh?” Ryan’s eyebrows rose in surprise. The entire time he’s seen Gabe, he’s seen a drink in his hand or attached to his lips.

“When he worries about William, he’s almost human.” Brendon nodded. It was silent a moment then both laughed. Not that he needed any more persuasion, but another point on his ‘Brendon’ list would be Brendon could make Ryan laugh and smile; real laughter and smiles. Ryan didn’t need to fake or force it like he did with Pete. All the more why the two just weren’t comparable. 

Brendon stood there, staring into Ryan’s eyes, before leaning forward and placing the gentlest, sweetest of all kisses on Ryan’s lips. “What was that for?” Ryan asked, unable to keep from blushing. 

“You’re every reason,” Brendon answered, smiling with his eyes more than his mouth. Ryan got even pinker, having to look away in attempt to hide it. “You’re so beautiful,” Brendon whispered. “You’re the reason the birds sing and the sun shines. Your beauty’s brighter than the evening sky full of the brightest stars.”

“Stop.” Ryan laughed nervously before he turned into a pile of mush against Brendon. It was incredibly cheesy, but Ryan loved every corny word. He pulled from Brendon’s grip, though not before another kiss, and turned to the car where the bags were all on the ground and Jon held Spencer against it again while they made out. Ryan cleared his throat as Brendon grabbed as many bags as he could get, bringing them inside.

“Have fun?” Jon asked, looking at Ryan with his signature laid-back smile.

“Not as much as you two are having,” Ryan said, one eyebrow arched.

“Go play with your toy,” Spencer said with frustration, sliding his hand behind Jon’s head. “Mommy and daddy are busy,” he muttered, pulling his boyfriend back down. Ryan loudly expressed a disgusted noise, laughing to himself then grabbing the remaining bags and bringing them inside where Brendon left the others on the living room floor.

He was about to call Brendon’s name when the man appeared, looking a little pale and absolutely mortified. “You don’t want to be here right now,” he said, taking Ryan’s wrist and pulling him back outside. Ryan heard faint voices, mainly William, laughing with a few brief sentences such as, _’Ow! Gabe! That hurts!_ ’ and _’Not so hard!_ ’ followed by sounds incredibly similar to a whip. 

Brendon was right; Ryan really didn’t want to be there.

“I don’t know how they get on a plane with all that shit,” Brendon mumbled with a visible shudder, leading Ryan down the porch. “Heads up!” he called to the others, Jon looking up just in time to release Spencer and catch the keys that Brendon threw. The keys William still had when Gabe stole him. The keys that Brendon had to—well, you get it. “Don’t go in there.” Brendon warned, not even stopping as he and Ryan headed to the jeep-like vehicle.

“Where are you going?” Spencer asked, confused.

“Far from here,” Brendon called back. “I suggest you do the same.” He let Ryan go and climbed into the driver’s seat, Ryan getting into the passenger’s and buckling up as Brendon turned the car on and backed up. Ryan waved to his friends then grabbed the metal frame when the vehicle jerked from Brendon’s haste; Brendon apologizing and heading down the driveway.

Ryan almost wanted to laugh because Brendon looked ready to throw up. But when he started imagining what Brendon walked in on, he wanted to throw up too. 

“You eat dinner yet?” Brendon asked about five minutes later, relaxing as they got away from his house. Ryan shook his head. “Hungry?”

“Kinda.” Ryan shrugged, hugging himself.

“’Kinda’ isn’t an answer.” Brendon went back to grinning. “Either yes, you’re hungry, or no, you’re not.” 

“Fine. _Yes_ , I’m hungry.” Ryan dramatically replied. “Happy?” Brendon hummed and nodded. “Where are we going?”

“No idea.” Brendon had to speak over the wind as they sped along the road. “Anywhere you want to go?”

“Yes, because I’ve been to Hawaii a million times and know absolutely everything there is.” Ryan playfully gave a sarcastic answer. 

“You’ve been here a million times?” Brendon teased. “You must be rich! You know, there’s a wealthy fellow here that’s not only handsome, but is charming and fun and is quite a smooth talker. Single, too.” 

“Single, huh?” Ryan played along, in far too good of a mood not to. “Why am I wasting my time with you then? I could have a sugar daddy right now.”

“You still can.” Brendon got more serious than playful.

“Bren, I’m joking.” Ryan’s stomach twisted. “I don’t want your money. Besides, that guy doesn’t exist.”

“Oh?” Brendon looked bemused.

“Nope. There is no wealthy, charming, handsome, fun, smooth-talker here.” Brendon glanced quickly over at Ryan. “Not a single one, at least.” Brendon smiled bigger and released the wheel with one hand to grab Ryan’s and lift it to his mouth where he gently kissed Ryan’s skin.

“You’re right,” Brendon said, squeezing Ryan’s hand and brushing his thumb over Ryan’s knuckles, “Not a _single_ one.” 

=-=-=-=-=

It didn’t exactly happen as Ryan imagined because, let’s face it, of course he’s imagined it. Anyone that’s seen Brendon shirtless has imagined it. The only difference between Ryan and everyone else is that everyone else could _u >only_ imagine it. Ryan’s vivid imagination on the other hand came wonderfully to life.

They had dinner at some outdoor bar-like place that had good food, but definitely wasn’t Alex and Nate’s place. Brendon made Ryan have Hawaiian pizza, which was just ham pizza with pineapple on it (half ham because Brendon’s a vegetarian), despite Ryan’s scowling at the thought. It actually tasted pretty good; a tangy-sweet taste.

There was a show of hula dancers that Brendon told Ryan he could dance along to; the imagine making Ryan laugh. They did traditional dances in grass skirts and coconut bras and flowers and everything. Ryan actually enjoyed it. 

After dinner the two walked along the beach, and that’s where everything started going downhill. Well, uphill, but in a downhill fashion. The sun was starting to set, bathing the land in reds and oranges and pinks. A slightly chilly breeze rippled the otherwise calm water as it crashed into the sand. Ryan walked with Brendon, hands linked, barefoot in the muddy are where the water just barely stretched up.

They started romantically enough, leisurely walking the beach, but after awhile Ryan couldn’t take the cliché any longer and lightly pushed Brendon sideways; causing him to stumble a bit. “So that’s how you want to do it, huh?” Brendon challenged after composing himself, releasing Ryan’s hand. Ryan just smiled, attempting to look innocent (yeah-fucking-right), making Brendon loudly laugh.

“What?” Ryan frowned.

“Just,” Brendon bent down, brushing his arm forward to splash Ryan, “You’re it,” he said before bolting away.

“Are we five now?!” Ryan watched Brendon run away; feet splashing in the water. Brendon wanted to play tag. 

“Come get me, Ross!” Brendon called, stopping to turn around. “Unless you don’t think you’re fast enough.” he taunted.

“Oh, it’s on,” Ryan said more to himself than Brendon, running after him. Brendon started to run again, laughing madder than a hyena, abandoning his sandals to swing his arms properly. Ryan tossed his shoes aside too for the same reason, feeling his inner child burst out and make him begin laughing.

“You’ll have to be quicker than that!” Brendon yelled, a few yards ahead. Ryan’s feet sank into the mushy sand as he ran, actually gaining on his boyfriend (?) and closing the distance between them. Nearing the end of the open section of beach (it got rocky and off-limits), Brendon circled back by going deeper into the ocean; water spraying up onto his pants.

Ryan continued to chase Brendon as though he was prey of some kind, not concerned with his own bottoms wetting. Eventually, Ryan managed to get close enough to reach down and force water to fly up; streaking across the back of Brendon’s shirt. “There; you’re it.” he laughed, smirking smugly.

Stopping to catch his breath, Brendon bent forward and rested his hands on his knees while Ryan took the opportunity to run. It was getting darker and he was losing visibility, but he was having the time of his life. He was acting like the child instead of having to take care of one. Pete always acted like a child. For once, it was Ryan’s turn. And it felt amazing.

In no time, Brendon was running after Ryan, the two making enough noise between their laughing and splashing and occasional laughing to sound like an entire crowd of people. Ryan stayed in the water a bit longer then decided to head back to the sand, having no idea where his shoes were. The grains of sand clung to his skin wherever it was wet, but Ryan didn’t care because the only thing on his mind at the moment was escaping Brendon and avoiding being _it_ again. 

Only the tip of the sun was showing when Brendon caught Ryan; tackling him into the sand. Both were a laughing mess, Brendon propping himself over Ryan to breathily say, “You’re it,” between laughs. Ryan didn’t even think about the chase when he rolled onto his back beneath Brendon and reached up enough to yank the man’s head down and crash their lips together. It took a minute for Brendon to realize what was happening, quickly going from playful to child to lustful adult and kissing back.

Ryan wove his fingers into Brendon’s hair, tugging some, practically sucking his face off because _holyfuck_ was he suddenly very horny. The younger didn’t seem to mind, kissing back with the same ferocity, their breathing coming in small puffs through their noses. Ryan could feel some sand in his mouth, probably in Brendon’s too, but it was the least of his worries at that moment.

“W-we should…” Brendon breathed out, unable to finish his sentence with his lips still on top of Ryan’s.

“Fuck.” Ryan exhaled, only realizing what he said after Brendon giggled.

“Not on a public beach,” he said, kissing Ryan’s swollen lips one more time then sitting back onto his knees. “Home;” he told Ryan, helping him from the sand that now clinged to him like second skin and onto his feet. “Definitely do that at home.” Brendon put his arms around Ryan’s waist to get in a few more kisses before releasing him to take his waist and tug him towards the parking lot.

“Shoes?” Ryan asked, feeling sand between his toes.

“Fuck ‘em,” Brendon mumbled, too focused on other things.

“No thanks.” Ryan scrunched up his nose, praying there was no broken glass on the ground as they ran barefoot over the pavement to the jeep. Both got into the vehicle and buckled up, Brendon slamming the key into the ignition and starting it up; wasting no time getting onto the road.

“Don’t crash,” Ryan said while twisting his body to lean over and start palming Brendon through his pants. He knew quite well how these things went. Brendon gave a small moan, tightening his grip on the wheel, biting his lip between his teeth. Ryan fought the safety restraint and leaned over to kiss Brendon’s shoulder, thankful it was dark enough to give them some privacy in the completely open vehicle.

Brendon turned his head towards Ryan so their lips met, but Ryan’s hand stopped and he pulled back to say, “Road,” because there was a bit more he wanted to do in life before dying. Brendon whined but obeyed; Ryan feeling the man harden beneath his palm. Hormones and endorphins and whatever the fuck else began cycling through Ryan as well and he realized just how much he missed the physical contact.

A blow job was one thing; but knowing what was going to happen tonight… _ohgod_. 

If there were police out, Brendon probably would have obtained a ticket or two for paying no attention to the speed limit, swerving every now and again from getting unfocused due to Ryan’s actions, and probably for what Ryan was doing to begin with. But, somehow, they managed to make it back to his house in one piece, barely getting their seatbelts off before closing the space between them—taking turns leading each other towards the door. 

How they actually made it to the bed was beyond Ryan, because, seriously; the two couldn’t detach themselves from one another. They were practically fused into one person. His lips were numb, swollen slightly, and pink from all the kissing. His skin was flushed and warm from his increased heart rate pumping blood rapidly through him. His pants were getting incredibly tighter and when he closed his eyes, he saw colors he didn’t even know existed.

Somehow, by the time they reached the top of the stairs, Brendon was carrying Ryan; their chests pressed together and Ryan’s legs around Brendon’s waist, with his arms around Brendon’s neck. It’s not like Ryan was heavy or anything, he knew he was underweight for his age and height, but it seemed a little weird. Then those pleasurable hormones started to surge and all weirdness was tuned out.

Brendon deposited Ryan on the bed, stripping his own shirt on the way back to the door to close and lock it, doing the same with the balcony one. Ryan was impatient on the bed, eyes following Brendon everywhere he went, spreading his legs too eagerly when Brendon finally came back. He propped himself up by his elbows while Brendon got onto the mattress on his knees, leaning forward to kiss Ryan more.

“You’re so gorgeous like this,” Brendon muttered against Ryan’s lips, hands finding Ryan’s hips and working their way up the sides of his body. Normally, it would tickle Ryan, or irritate him, but right now, Ryan felt like an overwhelming mess of pleasure trying desperately not to fall apart into a million pieces.

“Stop talking,” Ryan replied somewhat darkly. The attitude in his voice was the same that he fronted Brendon with when they met over a week ago. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though. Brendon laughed and continued to remove Ryan’s shirt; only breaking the kiss once the fabric was all the way up to allow him to pull it off Ryan and toss it aside. 

The air was cold, but Ryan and Brendon were generating enough heat to put the sun to shame. Instead of kissing Ryan on the mouth now, Brendon placed his lips to Ryan’s now exposed chest; starting at his bony collar bone and working his way down. Ryan gave a broken whine, arms going limp so he collapsed back against the bed. When Brendon laughed this time, the vibrations branched throughout Ryan’s body like lightning. 

Ryan’s hands found Brendon’s hair as he kissed lower and lower, the moment seeming very déjà vu. This wasn’t a blowjob in the shower though—this was so much more. Brendon pulled back when his lips touched just below Ryan’s navel, Ryan hardly able to suppress a whine inside him. The only thing he wanted was Brendon. Inside him. Now. 

To convey this, Ryan wiggled his hips a little, propping himself back to his elbows and looking to Brendon with a desperate plea. He was too impatient to waste time on whatever Brendon had in mind. He wanted to be naked and sweating and spread eagle already. Brendon managed to understand as he undid Ryan’s pants quickly, grabbing both them and Ryan’s boxers, sliding off the bed while pulling them with him. 

Dropping the unwanted articles to the floor, Brendon removed his own bottoms so he too was naked, saying, “Move farther up,” to Ryan as he climbed back onto the bed. Ryan nodded quickly and pulled himself up towards the pillows. On his way up to Ryan, Brendon detoured to the night stand drawer, extracting two very familiar items. Lube and a condom. He settled between Ryan’s legs and set the items aside, brushing his bangs back and grinning at Ryan who was more focused on Brendon’s body, and how incredibly hard they both were. 

“How do you-“

“You’re talking again,” Ryan cut him off, frustrated. “Less talking, more touching.”

“Alright, alright;” Brendon chuckled and took the lube in hand. “Desperate,” he muttered teasingly while popping the cap with a loud ‘snap’. Ryan simply scowled. The younger man squeezed the shiny substance onto his fingers, Ryan’s legs spreading impossibly farther to allow him access.

Placing a hand on the crease of flesh where his leg began, Brendon pushed gently on Ryan to keep him still while lowering his lubed fingers to Ryan’s hole. A tiny squeak escaped Ryan when the first finger slipped inside because it was _cold_ , but Ryan adjusted quickly to the _inoutinout_ that prepared him. Ryan grabbed the blanket beneath him to busy his hands, trying to control himself and not push back at Brendon’s finger. He was desperate enough.

The second finger joined the first within moments, stretching Ryan more with the same _inoutinout_ as before. Ryan dropped his head back, shutting his eyes, biting his lip and curling his toes. There was that dull pain where Brendon’s fingers were, there always was at first, but Ryan focused on the hand holding him down and the thumb rubbing circles into his hip..

The third and final finger made Ryan whine; half in discomfort, half in anticipation. Brendon continued with the routine _inoutinout_ to relax Ryan’s muscles, but he also began turning his finger, bending them, searching for that spot that—Ryan’s jaw dropped with a moan when Brendon’s fingers found it. He pushed down the fingers to get him to do it again, ankles digging into the bed, but Brendon grinned and removed all his fingers instead; leaving Ryan suddenly empty.

Ryan was about to protest, to demand Brendon fix that void or else, but he heard the crinkling of foil that he knew meant much more than three long fingers would soon be in him. Brendon slid the condom on, he trusted Ryan to say if he had anything, as Ryan did Brendon, but it was always better to be safe than sorry. That and it would make clean up easier. Once the condom was on, Brendon squeezed more lube into his hand and made sure he was thoroughly coated to prevent hurting Ryan.

Lining up, Brendon gave no warning to Ryan before pushing in with one fluid motion, Ryan feeling only searing burning as his arms gave out and he fell against the bed. Tears came to Ryan’s eyes because _holyfuckinghell_ how did Brendon fit into his pants?! but was able to keep them back as Brendon waited for Ryan to adjust. “You okay?” Brendon asked while talking hold of Ryan’s hips to balance.

“ _Move_ ,” Ryan practically growled, bunching the blankets up in his hands. Brendon obliged and started pulling back, getting almost all the way out, then rolling his hips forwards to push back in. It started slow and paced, Ryan still adjusting to _all_ of Brendon, though Brendon increased his pace when Ryan wrapped one leg around Brendon’s waist, foot pushing into Brendon’s lower back, pulling him closer. 

Ryan wasn’t every that vocal during sex so he stay fairly quiet, but all defenses fell when Brendon started searching for that spot and eventually managed to locate it. Honestly; why did God give man the prostate if he was so against gay relationships? Each roll of Brendon’s hips forward slammed into Ryan’s sweet spot and he couldn’t keep from moaning and whining and making noises that he didn’t know were humanly possible. 

“Shhh,” Brendon brokenly laughed out between his own small grunts and moans. He shifted himself and pulled Ryan down some, allowing him to bend forward and place his mouth to Ryan’s so each noise Ryan made was muffled. Ryan, at this point, couldn’t feel much of anything anymore because it was all too much for him to handle at one time. He knew his climax was fast approaching, already leaking down himself.

“Fuck you feel amazing,” Brendon groaned, moving at an even faster pace. If Ryan could think straight, he might have laughed at the cries the springs of the bed made the faster Brendon moved. It made the whole thing sound cheap and like he was some five dollar whore. Ryan would definitely be a five dollar whore if he got to experience _this_ every night.

Sex had always been nice, but this was _amazing_.

There was no warning to Ryan’s coming, the words got lost somewhere between his throat and mouth, but Brendon didn’t seem to care as he continued to fuck him. A moment or two later, Brendon let go himself, rolling his hips at a more leisurely speed to pull them both through. After a few minutes of that Brendon pulled out, kissing his way down Ryan’s warm, spent body; starting at his lips and ending at his stomach.

If Ryan hadn’t just experienced the best orgasm in his life moments before, he would have when Brendon started to use his tongue to clean Ryan off. Brendon’s warm, wet tongue lapped at Ryan’s body, rubbing over his skin and somewhat massaging him until not a drop of cum was left. “Jesus Christ,” Ryan exhaled after, unable to open his eyes all the way as exhaustion suddenly fell over him. Brendon smiled at Ryan a minute, using the back of his hand to wipe his mouth, then slid off the bed and moved a little awkwardly to the bathroom.

Ryan stared at the empty doorway of the bathroom, hearing running water that Brendon was probably using to clean himself, involuntarily yawning. Slowly regaining feeling in his body, Ryan sat up and weakly pulled the blanket back, settling into a comfortable position beneath it. He hugged the pillow and shut his eyes, stretching and wiggling around until he was nothing more than a pile of contentment. 

By the time Brendon returned, Ryan was drifting to sleep, aware of what was going on but not entirely. The light died and the mattress shifted slightly when Brendon got beneath the blanket as well, making himself comfortable then slipping an arm around Ryan’s body and tugging him closer. Ryan whined softly but moved over towards the other man without opening his eyes, fitting perfectly against him.

“That was fun.” Brendon whispered happily, intertwining their legs and placing a tiny kiss to Ryan’s head. Ryan hummed, nearly asleep, drifting between reality, dreams, and thoughts about how he really should have taken a shower before going to sleep. Instead, he nuzzled his face into the crook of Brendon’s neck. “Night, Ryan; sweet dreams.”

“Nigh’,” Ryan mumbled automatically, inhaling deeply and exhaling loudly.

When Brendon whispered, “I love you,” Ryan didn’t know if it was real or a dream; a wish of his heart floating through his subconscious. He couldn’t fight the grips of sleep long enough to ask, and knew he’d probably forget all about it by morning.

In his mind though, Ryan whispered, “I love you too,” back.


	12. Day Eleven

**Day Eleven**

Sleep was great, but waking up to Brendon softly kissing Ryan’s shoulder was even better. There really was no better way to wake up. He went from the best orgasm of his life, due to the best sex, to the best night’s sleep, to peacefully waking by tender, sweet kisses. Ryan had no idea how he never experienced it before. 

Smiling lazily in bliss, Ryan smiled and moved onto his back instead so that Brendon’s lips met his rather than his shoulder, not caring that his teeth weren’t even brushed yet. “Mornin’,” Brendon said with a smile against Ryan’s lips. Ryan shut his eyes and hummed, stretching beneath his…well, boyfriend, really. “It’s still early but I have to get ready for work and I remember you saying you liked waking up to me.”

Seriously, has Ryan mentioned that Brendon’s perfect?

“Don’t leave,” Ryan muttered, lifting his heavy arms up to put them around Brendon’s body. “Call in or something.” 

“I can’t.” Brendon laughed, kissing Ryan more. “I’m the only one they got for this.” Anther kiss; long and slow. “You can come with me you know.” he suggested with a serious but playful tone.

“No thanks.” Ryan scowled, opening his eyes halfway. The bedroom was already pretty bright and Ryan’s eyes couldn’t quite tolerate it, but the sight of Brendon’s face above him was too beautiful to ignore.

“Fine.” Brendon laughed again. “I’ve got to go get Jon and Spencer though so I have to go.” More wonderful kissing. “I should be back around two; try and get more sleep.” Brendon moved, causing Ryan’s arms to fall back against the mattress. Ryan inhaled deeply then exhaled loudly, unable to keep his eyes open. “Bye,” Brendon whispered, kissing Ryan’s forehead and getting off the bed then pulling the blanket up and padding out of the room.

After the door closed with a faint ‘click’, Ryan moved into a comfortable position, half hugging Brendon’s pillow because it smelled like him, and Ryan loved it; no matter how strange it sounded. A deep inhale of the scent carried Ryan back to his dreams once more.

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

A very unpleasant way to wake up was being jumped on. It was far too much excitement so early in the morning and also hurt a lot. Why people thought they needed to jump on Ryan was beyond him. Didn’t he look fragile enough not to be attacked? Apparently not.

Ryan doesn’t know how much time lapsed from his graceful awakening to his crude one, but it seemed like five minutes tops. One minute he was dreaming happily about something that quickly escaped him, and the next he heard his name called loudly before he was weighted down by an equally bony body. It was too sharp and angled to be Spencer, Brendon already left, and Jon wasn’t that mean, so Ryan figured it was William before he looked. 

Right before he could get his eyes open, even _more_ weight pressed him into the mattress with a merrily yelled, “Threesome!” Ryan automatically knew it was Gabe as he groaned painfully into the pillow.

“Get your fat ass off me!” William whined, pinned between the two.

“You like my ass on you,” Gabe scoffed, pressure disappearing as he fell to the side. “And it’s not fat.” he defended.

“I think you killed Ryan,” William said, also getting off.

“Did not.” Gabe huffed. “You alive, Ryan?”

“No.” Ryan groaned more.

“See?” William asked, a loud smack following his voice. “I told you to let me wake him up.”

“I told you to let him sleep,” Gabe responded.

“He needs to get up so he can have breakfast because he’s hungry.”

“You don't know if he’s hungry,” Gabe said to his boyfriend. “He was sleeping. You’re not hungry if you’re asleep.” 

“Well I didn’t want him to wake up to a lonely, empty house.” 

“Stop talking about me and what I may or may not be,” Ryan said miserably before the argument went any farther. “I’m not hungry; I’m in pain. From getting jumped on.” He rolled onto his back again, rubbing his eyes awake. “Twice.”

“You’ll walk it off then,” William said, perking up and suddenly straddling Ryan. “We’re going to Nate and Alex’s!” he bounced like an eager child, jostling Ryan around.

“Stop dry fucking him,” Gabe said, reaching over and thankfully removing William. “You have five minutes to be up and dressed.” he told Ryan, holding William close though the younger struggled to get free.

“What time is it?” Ryan asked, rubbing his face and moving his legs some to wake them.

“About 10:30.” William grunted out, trying to pry Gabe’s arms off him. “Will you let go of me?!”

“Nope.” Gabe smirked, kissing William’s neck. In response to that, William turned his head enough to sink his teeth into Gabe’s arm, making the man let go instantly. “Ow! Don’t bite, you little bitch.” Gabe frowned.

William grinned and stuck his tongue out, just barely dodging Gabe’s arms again. He scrambled to the edge and jumped from the mattress, Ryan bouncing about, Gabe quickly following. “Get back here!” Gabe said as William bolted from the room, laughing. “Now I know where that red-headed demon got it from!”

“Come on, _old man_ ,” William teased voice distanced from wherever he stood in the house.

“Brat!” Gabe yelled. He looked back to Ryan with a warning glare and pointed a finger threateningly. “Five minutes,” he said, pulling the door shut loudly then running after William. Ryan listened for a few minutes, hearing laughing, indistinct yelling, cursing, and a lot of things falling.

Shaking his head, Ryan sat up and stretched, moving the blanket from his body and swinging his legs over the edge; glad he didn’t end up exposed either. Gabe and William were strange and crazy, but they seemed to have fun and that _worked_. Even if it meant both resorting to children from time to time.

Honestly, Ryan resented them. 

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

Ryan couldn’t decide if the sight was strange, embarrassing, or just plain funny. William was only a few inches shorter than Gabe, being mostly leg. Yet, he managed to convince Gabe to give him a piggy back ride all the way to the little diner. The trip wasn’t long, but it was downhill and often on unpaved ground; unless they walked in the road. William smiled contently the entire time while Gabe looked ready to kill someone. 

The restaurant was already pretty busy by the time they arrived, the outside tables packed. “There, princess,” Gabe exhaled when they reached the door, stopping and dropping William’s legs so that he stood on the ground. “My back’s killing me now.”

“But mine’s not.” William proudly replied, pulling the door open and holding it for Ryan but not Gabe. Only a few seats were open and Nate looked ready to fall over, working frantically behind the counter. Ryan followed William inside while Gabe disappeared somewhere outside. “Busy today, huh?” Bill asked, leaning on a free section of counter. 

“You’ve no idea.” Nate sighed, sounding exhausted. “Both Vicky and Ryland called in. Fuckin’ middle of summer, biggest time for customers, and they’re off fuckin’ around.” He threw an arm towards the door. “I get stuck with all the orders and clean up!”

“Need help?” William asked, though it was more than clear that Nate did. “We don’t mind, right?” he looked at Ryan.

“I guess,” Ryan mumbled, weakly shrugging. Nate gave a skeptical look, he could tell Ryan didn’t want to help, and he didn’t want to put him out. “Honestly.” Ryan gave a tiny smile, feeling bad. “You look ready to collapse. If Alex looses you too, things will really get crazy.” he tried to joke.

“You sure?” Nate asked, both heads nodding. “Thank you so much.” he exhaled with relief, face full of gratitude. “If you take and deliver orders, I can deal with money and clean up.” Nate squatted down behind the counter, coming back up a moment later with two aprons. “Just write down the orders and put them on that,” He pointed to a metal spinner in the window between the kitchen and dining room, “For Alex. Bell means the food is ready.” 

“Sounds easy enough,” William said, taking the aprons, handing one to Ryan. They tied them around their waists, accepting the pads and pens for orders. Ryan was glad the apron was only a waist one with a few pockets because he thought aprons were ugly. 

“Keep any tips,” Nate said, opening the door to the kitchen. “Any questions, just ask.” He disappeared behind the swinging door, leaving Ryan and William alone. 

“We should probably pick areas.” Bill suggested, looking around. “One inside, one out?”

“Sure.” Ryan nodded faintly. He thought he was done being a waiter. English teacher to a waiter; something didn’t seem right about that. “I’ll take the outside?” 

“Go ahead.” William smiled. “If you see Gabe, tell him to get his ass in here and help. If he argues, just tell him his vodka is at stake.” Ryan smiled, giving one more nod before heading to the opening that lead to the outside tables. He was rusty, it had been about five years, but Ryan figured he still knew enough about the job to get by.

Going to a table with a chatting couple, Ryan took a deep breath as he approached and smiled. “Hello, my name’s Ryan, and I’ll be your waiter.” he gritted out. “May I take your order?” 

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

By the time Alex closed for an hour to get ready for dinner, everyone was ready to collapse. Ryan’s feet were killing him and he was more than grateful to get a chance to sit down since he hadn’t since arriving nearly three hours before. Yeah, he managed to make well over $100 in tips, money Alex insisted he keep because he more than earned it, but Ryan definitely knew a career in food service wasn’t for him. Earning a degree in teaching was one of his best decisions. 

“I don’t think I’m going to reopen today,” Alex said with a hint of disappointment, transferring money from the register to a safe box that went home with him each night. “It’s hard to function when most of your staff isn’t around.” He had forced Nate to go home about a half hour after Ryan and William began working since Nate could barely keep his eyes open. William ducked out quickly to drive him home.

“Ryan and I can stay…” Bill tiredly offered, all his energy from the morning drained. Ryan lifted his head from his arms where he was lying on the counter, wanting to cry and smack the man for opening his mouth. 

“You’ve helped plenty.” Alex smiled, counting out the bills. Even he looked like he’d reach the end of his rope. “I really can’t thank you guys enough for helping out. But even if Ryland and Vicky didn’t decide to play hooky, I’d probably call it a day. With Nate sick and all.” Ryan let his head fall back down. Sadly, he was inwardly ecstatic Nate was sick. He became cynical when exhausted.

“Beside,” Alex stopped, “Brendon would probably kill me if I kept Ryan all night.” William weakly laughed. “Go home and relax with your boyfriends; that’s what I plan on doing. I can afford to close for the rest of the day.”

“You can afford to close for at least a month.” Bill scoffed, almost mirroring Ryan’s position. The only difference was that William’s arms were stretched out and his head was tilted rather than facing the counter. “And Gabe’s on his own for the night,” he added with a frown. “He spent the afternoon God-knows-where instead of helping us. He doesn’t deserve any relaxing with me.” Alex laughed, and Ryan quietly joined in, not having the energy to properly laugh. 

“Sorry you had to spend your vacation working, Ryan,” Alex said to end the stream of silence that fell over them. “I really appreciate the help though.” Ryan hummed into his arms as though to say, ‘you’re welcome’. 

When things got silent again, Ryan couldn’t help but start drifting to sleep as his body wanted to rebuild its energy supply. He almost made it too, until an unfamiliar voice casually said, “Now, ain’t that a pretty sight for sore eyes,” followed by a loud squealing noise from William. Groaning to himself, Ryan forced his eyes open and turned his face away from his arms, eyes adjusting to the light just in time to see William throw himself at another man standing by the door. 

The man caught William easily, lightly laughing as his equally tall figure was enveloped by long, pale limbs. The most Ryan could see of him once William was attached was a head of puffy black curls and tattoos etched along caramel-colored skin. "Travie! Travie, Travie, Travie!" Bill chanted; voice muffled as he buried his face into the newcomer's neck and squeezed tight enough to make his skin go completely white. 

"Good to see you too, Billiam," 'Travie' said softly before kissing William's head. It intrigued Ryan enough to keep himself awake to figure out who this 'Travie' was and why William pretty much fell apart when he arrived.

"There you are, McCoy!" Alex came back into the dining area; annoyed. "You chose a hell of a day to not show up! We were severely understaffed and my help," he quickly gestured to Ryan and the man still clinging to 'Travie' for dear life, "had to bust their asses doing yours, Ryland's, and Vicky's jobs!" 

"Sorry, Suarez," he frowned; chin resting on William's shoulder. There was something about him that almost made Ryan want to go hug him (he wouldn't, of course); a very friendly, laid back aura. "Had some things to care of and got caught up." Ryan watched Alex's face soften into something of sympathy. 

"A call would have been nice," he said with far less anger than before. "Just clean up and take care of the trash and you can go home. I'm closing early today." 'Travie' nodded. "Full days pay," Alex added, relief flooding the employee's face. 

"Thanks," he graciously replied then turned his attention back to the man he was still holding. "Gotta do my job, Bill."

"Can wait," came William's muffled answer. "'m not done," he stubbornly stated, tightening his grip.

"Let my bus boy go so we can leave." Alex told William as he brushed some crumbs from the counter. William shook his head. "I don't think Ryan wants to be here all day; Bren will skin you, you know." He gave Ryan a teasing glance. Ryan managed a pathetic, completely nonthreatening glare that lasted a whole two seconds until it became too much effort.

"Ryan!" Bill gasped, lifting his head and untangling himself from the other man. "Come meet Ryan!" he said, grabbing 'Travie's hand and crossing the room to Ryan in record time. "Ryan, this is the ex!"

"I prefer 'Travis'," the man smoothly followed, using his free hand to give Ryan a little wave. Ryan convinced his body to sit up properly in the seat, returning a tired smile. "Travis McCoy," Travis said, offering his hand. 

"Ryan Ross," the other introduced himself, accepting the handshake. 

"Ryan's Brenny's new boyfriend." William eagerly continued. "He's from Vegas and is here on vacation with his two friends." Ryan just smiled through it. "He leaves in a few days though." Bill's voice dropped. Ryan's heart followed.

"You like Hawaii, Ryan?" Travis asked, seeming unfazed by William's hanging off him. 

"Yeah." Ryan grinned stupidly. "A lot."

Travis laughed. "Good." 

"Oh my god!" Bill turned from Ryan, dropping Travis' hand and smacking him hard on the chest. "Where have you been?! You just up and left and stopped calling!" he slapped Travis again; backhanding his arm this time. "Bren said you just left and didn't tell anyone where you were going! What the fuck?!" It was times like this that Ryan could only associate William with the word _diva_.

"Wanted to see the world." Travis half shrugged, tone barely convincing. "Lost contact with a lot of people." The look in his eyes told Ryan there was pain, emotional pain, inside him. "Spent about four years abroad."

"What's with all the tattoos?" Bill asked, pushing one of Travis' sleeves up to inspect his arm. "And the piercings?" he brushed his thumb over the silver Monroe.

"I wanted- I needed, change." Another small shrug. "Saw and learned lots of things. Each has a story." Travis smiled almost sadly as William continued inspecting his arms. 

"You look so different..." William muttered to himself. He then quickly looked up, blushing. "In a really good way, though! I mean, like, you look older but not old-old or anything-" he stammered. Ryan amusedly smiled.

"S'okay, Billiam. I get it." Travis laughed, putting a finger on William's lips to stop him. "You look older too. But we haven't seen each other in nearly five years." He dropped his arm back down. "Still as pretty as the stars, though." Ryan watched blush quickly overcome William's cheeks all over. 

"Trash, McCoy!" Alex called in reminder from somewhere in the back. 

"Gotta work now." Travis told William, leaning forward to press his lips to William's forehead. "Got any plans later?"

"No." Bill shook his head.

"Dinner? We have some catching up to do." William wasted no time accepting."Ryan;" Travis smiled once more at Ryan before slipping behind the counter and through the door. William watched him go, only sitting down when the door stopped swinging. 

"He seems nice." Ryan offered, breaking William's lost puppy look.

"He is," he beamed, facing Ryan. "Travie was my first friend. We got close, like me 'n Bren, but it was different. In my junior year we tried dating but it wasn't really meant to be." William shrugged. Ryan could tell the subject wasn't as light as he was trying to make it out to be, though. "We stayed really good friends. Year later I met Gabe and moved to Vegas; Travie called occasionally but then that stopped and..." Bill sighed heavily. "Bren said he just disappeared. I thought..." William looked so heartbroken and ready to cry. 

"Well;" he suddenly went back to smiling, masking his feelings. "I'm glad he's okay." 

"Glad who's okay?" Ryan looked over William's shoulder to see Gabe entering with a curious expression.

"Where have you been?" Bill completely changed attitudes, grabbing his bunched-up apron and spinning around on the stool to throw it at his boyfriend. "You just disappeared! We needed you here!" 

"I went for a walk!" Gabe defended himself, sticking his arms out to guard himself against anymore flying objects.

"For five and a half hours?!" 

"Sight seeing." Gabe smiled, reaching them. "Place is dead," he noted, looking around. 

"Ryland and Vicky called in, Nate went home sick," Ryan said, stretching and lowering his head back to the counter. "Alex is closing as soon as Travis is done," he mumbled, eyes slipping shut. 

"Travis?" Gabe's tone made Ryan's pop open. "As in your crazy ex, Travis?" he stared shocked at William.

"He's not crazy." Bill defended the presently absent man.

"What the fuck's he doin' here?" Gabe started getting annoyed. Ryan could tell by his voice, his face, the growing rage in his eyes, and by how he held himself away from his boyfriend. "I thought he ran away when you chose me over him!" 

"I didn't _choose_ anyone!" Bill snapped, arms folding over his chest. "You were my boyfriend, he was my best friend. Just because I went to Vegas with you doesn't mean I _chose you over him_." The last part was emphasized and spoken at a slower pace.

"So what?" Gabe got very irritated now. "You come with me because I'd have sex with you and he wouldn't?" Ryan didn't want to be there anymore. "Because that's about the only thing that separates me from him!" 

"Don't start with me, Gabriel!" William harshly answered; voice cold and incredibly threatening. It made Ryan cringe. "You know there's a lot more to it than that!" 

"Really? Like what?" Gabe huffed. "When he stopped calling every fucking day, you acted like you just watched your dog get run over or something! You never even talked to Brendon that fucking much!" 

"Are you seriously jealous of Travis?" Bill scoffed. "He's my _friend_ , Gabe! I care about him!"

"You're still fucking in love with him!" Gabe sneered. "You always have been! And I thought I could deal because he was your first and I know what that's like, but fuck, William, you could try to act like you give a fuck about me sometimes too, you know!" 

"You're right; I don't give a _fuck_ about you!" Ryan didn't think William could get so mad and cold. "I just gave up my fucking home and family and friends and every-fucking-thing else I had to be with you because I don't care about you!" he nearly yelled; a blend of sarcasm and hurt taking over. "Lay off the alcohol for five minutes and maybe I actually have something to care about!"

Before Gabe could respond, William got off the stool and shoved past him; leaving the diner abruptly. "What the fuck is going on out here?" Alex appeared again. "I heard yelling and--Where's Bill?" 

"Fuck if I know." Gabe huffed, but it was apparent he was upset. Possibly ashamed. "Fuckin' blew up and left." 

"Is everything-" Travis appeared behind Alex; one look at Gabe silencing him. "Gabe." he addressed him, emotionless. "I didn't know you were back." 

"Ditto." Gabe darkly answered. "But it's good to have you back." His voice dripped with venom and sarcasm. "It's been awhile since I managed to piss Bill off enough to make him storm off after screaming at me! Big fuckin' surprise; it was about _you_." Gabe narrowed his eyes. "Again." 

"Funny." Travis gained just as much sarcasm. "He never yelled until he met _you_." 

"You two want to fight again, you go outside and off my property!" Alex warned, pointing to the door. "You two can't settle anything civilly." Ryan thought he was going to crush under the pressure and tension filling the air. He'd only faced people this angry once or twice.

Not even a very pissed off Spencer was this bad. And Spencer could get very scary. 

"Sorry Alex." Travis settled some, looking to his boss apologetically. 

"I liked you better when he thought you were dead," Gabe muttered lowly, though it was loud enough for everyone else to hear. Alex shot him a warning look. Gabe growled, rolling his eyes, and muttered, "Whatever. I'm fuckin' sick of this shit. I'm goin' home," and started for the door. "Comin' Ryan?" he called without stopping.

"Sure..." Ryan's voice was hardly there. He sat up and got off the stool, looking lost and worried. 

"Sorry," Alex said with a sigh, shaking his head. "This day's been shit. I'm going home and crashing." 

"Bye Ryan." Travis gave him a crooked smile. "Be careful," he said, eyes flicking to the door then back to him. Ryan nodded, heading after Gabe.

He heard Alex tell Travis to go find William and make sure he was okay. Ryan looked ahead and saw Gab walking quick and angrily. What Gabe said to William was completely uncalled for, but even he could understand somewhat where it was coming from. There was nothing wrong with William being good friends with his ex; but only if they were just friends. From what he heard, it seemed like there was more. Or, at least, Gabe thought there was more.

Ryan jogged ahead to make sure _Gabe_ was okay. 

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

The silence over the two as they walked was frightening. Gabe was tense and drawn into himself, head bowed and pace rushed. Ryan stayed a few feet behind, mainly for safety, watching Gabe carefully. 

Ryan was thankful and relieved when they reached the house, though disappointed to see that Brendon was still gone. He followed Gabe inside, just barely catching the door before it slammed shut angrily. The older man headed directly for the stairs, making quick work of them, and went into the bedroom with a successful slam of the door. The echoing noise made Ryan briefly cringe, taking his shoes off and wandering to the living room to watch television. He didn’t know what else to do.

There was always the music room, Brendon had given him permission to use it whenever he wanted, but Ryan didn’t have the energy to play anything. He sprawled lazily on the couch and grabbed the remote, flipping through the channels in attempt to find something half decent to watch. Ryan had never been big on watching television because there was never anything to watch; no matter how many channels were available. And often he was too busy with grading or planning and didn’t have the time to watch it.

But right now, Ryan just wanted to lay there and stare mindlessly into the television. 

Eventually, Ryan’s finger got too tired to continue pressing the channel button and he dropped the remote to the floor, stuck with whatever it landed on. Which happened to be the history channel. The show Ryan ended up watching was about the end of the world, and the supposed seven signs of the apocalypse. There was something about a star blowing up and plunging the earth into darkness from the atmosphere becoming a thick blanket of smog that prevents the sun from shining—Ryan got entranced by the images and stopped listening to the narration.

Lost in thought, Ryan didn’t hear Brendon return home about fifteen minutes later, nor did he hear the door open or the soft steps come near him. He was focused solely and intensely on the television which now had four guys on horses. Ryan did, however, jump, startled, and made this pathetic yelping noise, when Brendon calmly and casually asked, “What cha watchin’?” 

Brendon laughed and walked towards the couch, Ryan sitting up to make room; heart racing. "Sorry," Brendon said with light laughter while approaching. 

"Jerk," Ryan mumbled, playfully swatting at Brendon when he was close enough. The younger man easily dodged the weak attempt to hit him, looping his arms around Ryan's waist and falling onto the couch; pulling Ryan with him. For a moment Ryan flailed, calming when he fell against Brendon who continued laughing. 

After a minute or two of staying in the awkward position, Ryan moved to be more comfortable; head on Brendon's chest, nearly on top of him. "So," Brendon tried to stable himself again, "I heard you had a busy day."

"Mmm," Ryan hummed, ear pressed right over Brendon's heart as it gradually slowed in pace. "Helped at diner. No Vicky, no Ryland, and for the most part, no Nate." he pathetically summarized. "Then Travis appeared. Very happy Bill. Gabe reappeared. Very mad Bill. Loud, angry yelling, no more Bill, pissy Gabe currently upstairs." For an English teacher, Ryan was currently a disgrace. "I've no idea where Bill is." 

"He's fine," Brendon said, all the laughter replaced with a serious tone. "Travis called me. He's got Bill." Brendon tugged Ryan up a tiny bit higher; nothing too noticeable. "Now that we have the afternoon to ourselves," he ducked his head to be as close to Ryan's ear as possible, "What shall we do?" Tiny shivers ran through Ryan. 

"What about Gabe?" Ryan asked, keeping control. 

"What about him?" Traces of frustration came out.

"He's all alone up there; upset." Ryan frowned at Brendon's general lack of unconcern. 

"He'll be fine," Brendon dismissed. "He wants attention. Leave him alone." 

"You're not worried that he'll like drink himself to death or something?" Ryan lifted an eyebrow, tilting his head to look at Brendon to the best of his abilities.

"He's mad; not stupid." Brendon replied. "He'll cool down, he'll talk to Bill, they'll probably argue some more, but things will go back to normal. They do this once a month at least." Ryan picked up on urgency in Brendon's voice too. "Now," he gave this ridiculous smile, "Back to us." 

"I'm tired," Ryan half whined, moving his head back before his neck cramped. "I don't want to do anything..."

"But it's the first time in forever we've had alone!" Brendon whined back, poking at Ryan.

"Since when does nine or so days count as 'forever'?" Ryan inquired with amusement. 

"You know what I mean." Brendon pouted, shoving his finger into Ryan's side. Ryan silently chuckled. "We could go for a walk or to the beach or on the boat or the movies or dinner or the park or-"

"Alright;" Ryan half groaned. "Stop listing stuff off; you're giving me a headache." he complained. "Why can't we stay here?" he mumbled.

"'Cause it's boring here!" Brendon continued acting like an impatient child. "Come on, Ryan Ross, let's have some fun!" 

"This is fun..." 

"No, this is lazy!" Brendon protested. "Fun is going somewhere and doing something worth doing 'cause it's rewarding as you do it." 

"Headache..." Ryan whined, pressing his face into Brendon's chest. 

"How about the movies? You just have to sit in a seat." Brendon tried, going back to poking Ryan randomly. "And we can totally make out like horny teenagers!" he giggled momentarily. 

"Fine." Ryan sighed, wiggling out of Brendon's grip and sitting on his legs. "But no making out." he gave as stern a look as he could manage to Brendon. 

Brendon's grin was unsettling.

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

"No," Ryan said _again_ , pushing Brendon's hands away. 

"This is _boring_!" Brendon whined, slumping in defeat in the theater chair.

"You chose it," Ryan muttered, paying little attention to some kid's movie flashing on the large screen. 

"I just wanted to be in a theater with my pretty boyfriend, in the backseat, doing inappropriate things." Brendon pouted; the screen catching half his face, making it creepy more than anything else. "And it's more fun when it's during a kid's movie."

"You just wanted to see a kid's movie," Ryan said, not noticing the quick little smile on Brendon's face. "Now behave or we're leaving." 

"Noooo," Brendon whined, shuffling in the seat; dropping his head onto Ryan's shoulder. Ryan didn't say anything, letting him rest like that, telling his eyes repeatedly not to shut. 

They were lucky they had the theater to themselves, or they probably would have been kicked out when Ryan yelled, "Brendon!" for the millionth time; giggling filling the air.

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

Ryan’s hands were wrapped tightly around the plastic-covered chains the flexible seat was suspended from; twisting his body lazily side to side and pressing his toes into the wood chips on the ground. Beside him, on the other swing in the school’s playground, Brendon actually swayed back and forth with his eyes fixed on the setting sun. It had been awhile since Ryan had been on a swing, he was more the ‘read under a tree during recess’ kid, and never spent much time on the various parts of a playground. But it was nice being on one again; like he was getting some piece of his life back.

“Do you think Gabe’s okay?” Ryan absently asked, thoughts verbally leaking out. 

“Yep.” Brendon answered bluntly, gliding on the warm breeze. 

“What does he have against Travis?” Ryan moved his eyes from his feet towards his boyfriend for all intentional purposes. Brendon shrugged; hardly convincing. “You know,” Ryan said, eyes following him without much movement since Brendon wasn’t going terribly high. When he got no answer, he tried, “You know _something_ , Brendon.”

“I know that William is with Travis because Gabe treated him like crap yet again.” His voice was far from its usual carefree, happy tone. This was cold, like there was a wall there. “I know you’re leaving in three days, and that I would stop time if I could to stop you.” Ryan bit his lip. “I know the sky is blue and the grass is green. I know a lot of things, Ryan.” 

“Yeah, so do I.” Ryan began rocking himself; not taking his feet from the wooden chips. “But I don’t know why Gabe freaked out when he found out Travis was back. I don’t know why he started yelling at William then told Travis he liked him better when Bill thought he was dead.” Brendon sighed heavily, abruptly stopping himself.

“Why do you want to know so bad?” he asked with stress.

“For the same reasons you were so interested in me and my past.” Ryan responded. Brendon looked at him carefully, staring intensely into his eyes, before exhaling loudly and starting to swing again. Inwardly, Ryan smiled victoriously. 

“Travis moved here about a year after I did; from New York City. After his cousin was shot and killed, his mother wanted to get him somewhere safer. Somewhere less chaotic.” Brendon kept his eyes on the horizon, picking up the same leisurely swinging speed he had before. “Bill, being the loving person he is, quickly befriended Travis like he had me, despite their two year age difference. Travis being older, obviously.” Brendon clarified.

“The thing about Travis is he’s…reserved. Not exactly shy, but keeps to himself a lot. Kind of like Jon.” Ryan nodded. He figured that from how relaxed and at ease Travis was when they met. “He didn’t do too well the first few months here. It’s a big change, you know; NYC to Hawaii. Bill was really his only friend. Sure, he and I got along fine, but not like him and Bill.” Brendon licked his lips.

“William’s my best friend, he’s practically my brother, but him and Travis…it’s hard to define.” Brendon frowned. He eyes didn’t leave the horizon though. It was like they were glued there; like an owl. “Until Travis got used to his new life, Bill was almost always with him. I remember he’d make Travis all these welcome cards and pictures and anything he could think of.” For a moment, Brendon smiled; eyes sparkling in memory. “He just wanted to make Travis comfortable. That’s probably how they got so close.”

“Sure,” Ryan muttered with a nod. He could understand how a bond could form from that. William went out of his way to make Travis lose that outcast feeling; the feeling of not belonging.

“As we all got older, Travis eased into the change. We’d hang out together more.” He shrugged. “But Travis and I never got as close as we both were with Bill or anything. Anytime Travis entered the room, Bill would instantly perk up and just become flooded with happiness. It was mutual too. I could tell by the way Travis looked at Bill that he thought he was the sun.” Brendon regained a small smile.

“In our junior year, about a year after Travis graduated, they started dating. It was clear there was always something there. Bill was so excited when Travis asked and…I never saw him so happy in my years knowing him.” Brendon chewed on his lip for a moment; the smile weakening. “They never fought or anything. They had, essentially, the perfect relationship.

“Right about the end of junior year, they slept together. That’s where things started going downhill.” Ryan repositioned his hands as they started to cramp. “They broke up to keep their friendship from falling apart too. But Bill…I think he regrets that every day. He never really accepted letting Travis go like that. And Travis…” Brendon trailed off, shaking his head. 

With a deep breath, Brendon continued after slowly exhaling. “Come end of senior year, Gabe showed up. Gabe gave Bill all the attention he wanted, Bill had been craving it since the break up, and you know how that one ends.” he muttered the last part. “Travis and Gabe don’t’ get along for many reasons. Travis doesn’t like how Gabe treats William; from the beginning, Gabe’s wanted to be in Bill’s pants. He’s not so subtle about it.” Ryan gave a tiny laugh. He knew that. “While I agree with Travis there, I do know that Gabe and Bill love each other on some level,” Brendon said almost miserably.

“And Gabe hates Travis because Bill still loves Travis. In a way, we all love our first forever.” Ryan nodded again. That he definitely understood. “That Gabe could deal with. It was, regardless of their friendship, their unbreakable bond that makes Gabe resent Travis. I think that’s the main reason Gabe was so adamant that Bill go to Vegas with him. Since Bill had spent all his life here, he was excited to get out.

“Travis begged Bill not to leave though.” It was almost inaudible. Brendon’s eyes now stared at the ground, sadness clouding them. “When Bill left, he broke Travis’ heart. So, in return, Travis broke William’s by disappearing. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going or anything.” Brendon’s eyebrows pulled together, face expressing pain. “So many nights Bill called me in tears, worrying about Travis and repeatedly asking me where he went though I had no clue.” Silence followed, Brendon gradually slowing down. “About a year ago, Travis came back. He’s different now, but the old Travis is still there too.”

“If he’s been back a year, why hasn’t-“

“He didn’t want William to know.” Brendon cut Ryan off. “Usually, I know when Bill’s coming and I warn him.” Ryan could only look at Brendon with confusion. “It took almost three years for Bill to accept the fact that he was gone. Travis didn’t want to ruin Bill’s relationship with Gabe, no matter how much he dislikes Gabe. He only wants Bill to be happy.” Brendon stopped swinging completely. “But he could only hide so long.”

“Would William really give up what he’s got with Gabe for Travis after Travis made Bill think he was pretty much dead this entire time?” Ryan asked, figuring Brendon knew William well enough to answer.

“Trust me,” Brendon dryly laughed, “There’s not much for him to give up.” Their eyes met; Brendon’s mirroring Ryan’s exhaustion from everything the day’s brought them. “We should probably head back home before it gets dark and make sure nothing’s burned down.” He tried to joke, but there wasn’t much humor coming out.

Silently, Ryan nodded, releasing the chains and standing up. Brendon got his shoes from where they landed after he kicked them off. He took Ryan’s hand, it’d become routine when they were heading somewhere together, guiding them back to the house. Ryan was looking forward to starting a new day already because this one had been too much of a reminder of what he temporarily left in Vegas. What he was trying to escape.

♦•♦•♦•♦•♦•♦

The sun had almost completely set by the time they made it to the house; half the sky a deep navy, speckled with stars, and the other half a lighter shade where the dun was disappearing. Their walk had been silent, though nothing like Ryan experienced earlier with Gabe. There wasn’t much to be said, so neither spoke, and that was just fine. Ryan enjoyed the peaceful nothingness while also spending time with Brendon all the same.

As they neared the house, Ryan spotted two figures sitting on the porch steps; Travis and Bill. William was curled into Travis’ side, head resting on his shoulder, with Travis’ arms protectively around him. Brendon let go of Ryan’s hand, walking a few steps ahead. Ryan looked up towards the window he guessed was part of William and Gabe’s room, only to find it as dark as the rest of the house.

“You okay, Bill?” Brendon asked, jogging the last few steps.

“He’s had a long day.” Travis answered when William failed to do so himself. He merely stared out into the distance; eyes unfocused. “I didn’t want to leave him alone,” he said as Brendon squatted down to be level with William.

“Hey;” Brendon half whispered, reaching out and brushing some of William’s long hair aside, stroking his face. “Talk to me,” he nearly cooed, “Tell me what’s wrong.” Without saying a word, William detached himself from Travis and put his arms around Brendon’s neck, pulling him into a squeezing hug. His face pressed into Brendon’s shoulder and a moment later, Ryan could hear muffled crying.

Travis gave William a sad look, rubbing circles on his back as Brendon held him just as tightly. Ryan felt somewhat awkward and out of place, he was nowhere near as close to William as the other two, but he didn’t want to seem rude by interrupting or going somewhere else either. Brendon whispered words of comfort into William’s ear, all of them too quiet for Ryan to hear, but occasionally he saw William nod or shake his head.

Eventually, William pulled back and wiped his eyes, coughing some. “Why don’t you go get something to drink before you throw up?” Brendon calmly suggested, wiping his thumb over William’s cheek to stop an escaped tear. The man nodded, Travis standing and helping him up. 

William wrapped himself around Travis, Ryan barely catching him say, “Don’t leave me,” in a purely desperate tone as he clung to the other man. 

Travis looked taken by the statement, but he quickly whispered, “I’m not going anywhere,” and gave William a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll feel better after some rest.” He kissed William’s forehead tenderly. “I won’t leave you again.” William nodded, hesitantly letting go of Travis. All three watched him go inside the house, lights coming on as he traveled to the kitchen. 

“He’s been like that all day,” Travis said, looking back to Brendon. “Couldn’ get him t’eat ‘r nothin’.”

“He’s upset about a lot of things right now.” Brendon responded. “He’s torn between you and Gabe. He loves you both; you need to learn to get along for his sake.” There was disciplining anger in the man’s tone. 

“I love him too; I always have and I always will.” Travis put his hands in the pockets of his pants. “And I know my place; it’s Gabe that keeps startin’ shit. I may not like Gabe, but I know he’s part of Bill’s life and I accept that. Gabe needs t’learn that _I’m_ part of Bill’s life too.” He gave his own traces of anger.

“Not here and not now.” Brendon shook his head, climbing the stairs. “Go home and get some rest. I’ll take care of him now.” Travis seemed reluctant but nodded, addressing Brendon with a small, unsure smile.

“Good to see you again, Bren,” he said, the two engaging in a brief hug. “You too, Ryan.” Travis slid his hands back into his pockets, smiling down to Ryan. “Tell him t’call if he wants.” Travis told Brendon then descended the steps and headed down the driveway. Brendon inhaled deeply, eyes shutting and hands coming up to his face; exhaling through his fingers.

“It’s going to be a long night…” he muttered to himself. Ryan walked up to where he stood, accidentally startling Brendon when he reached out and touched his arm. “Fuck; Ryan.” His expression became guilty. “I hate to do this but…Bill, I can’t leave him alone right now.” Brendon frowned. “I know he won’t go to sleep for awhile, if at all, and I have to stay-“

“It’s okay; I understand.” Ryan cut him off, faking a sincere look. Honestly, he did understand, he’s been on both ends of the same situation, but that didn’t stop jealous and anger from bubbling. Brendon was supposed to be _his_ for the next few days.

“You can have the bed still,” Brendon said, disappointment in his eyes and voice. His friendship loyalties took priority over his new boyfriend. “It’s more comfortable and I doubt I’m getting him upstairs; not that I’m letting him anywhere near Gabe right now.” Brendon briefly scowled. “If I get him to sleep, I’ll come up.” He changed his expression back to a guilty, sad smile.

“Okay,” Ryan said, Brendon leaning towards him and capturing his lips in a kiss. They almost started making out when there was a crashing noise inside, running the moment and bringing focus back. “Go,” Ryan urged, giving Brendon a small push towards the door. Brendon headed for the kitchen to find out what William broke, leaving Ryan alone on the porch.

Ryan pulled his cellphone from his pocket and called Spencer, listening to it ring a few times before his friend answered. “Aren’t you supposed to be enjoying your shiny new toy right now?” Spencer asked, a little breathlessly.

“He’s busy comforting William who’s breaking down because his ex, who’s also one of his best friends, suddenly reappeared again after five years of no contact, and Gabe freaked out and yelled at him and now I have no clue what’s going on.” Ryan sighed, leaning on the porch railing. “How was your day, honey?”

“Less dramatic.” Spencer answered, sounding strained.

“ _Please_ tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.” Ryan groaned, forcing unwanted images from his mind.

“I can’t help that you always call when I’m enjoying my boyfriend’s hidden talents,” the other said.

“You don’t answer your phone when you’re having sex!” Ryan told him for what seemed like the billionth time. 

“Then don’t call when I’m having it.” Spencer simply replied. “Because we both know you’ll only bitch about me ignoring you later.”

“I’m going to have nightmares now,” Ryan grumbled, trying to ignore the muffled moaning in the background.

“Jon says, ‘hi’,” Spencer said after a few moments of uncomfortable (on Ryan’s end) moaning and soft grunting.

“Go to hell, Spence.” Ryan stood up. “Jon too.”

“You go to hell!” Spencer answered like a child. “I’m getting my daily workout.”

“Sex barely burns any calories.” Ryan huffed.

“It does how we do it,” Spencer merrily replied, making Ryan gag. “You just have to know the right moves.”

“You’re disgusting.” Ryan scowled into the darkness taking over the land.

“I’m flexible.” 

“Goodnight, Spence,” Ryan said before he actually threw up.

“Night, Ry,” Spencer hummed; Ryan receiving one last loud moan before the call completely ended. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of as many non-sex related things that he could, putting his phone back into his pocket and going inside.

Ryan shut and locked the door, stepping from his shoes and heading to the living room. He found Brendon and William on the couch in a similar position that Bill and Travis had been in on the porch. William rested his head on Brendon’s chest, one hand beside his face, with Brendon running his fingers soothingly through his friend’s hair; a blanket around them. Only a table lamp by Brendon was on, the television flashing some cartoon on a very low volume.

Quietly, Ryan headed to them, bending over to kiss Brendon’s cheek, whispering, “Night, Bren.” Brendon turned his head to give Ryan a proper kiss, saying the same thing back to him. “Goodnight, Bill,” he said after, not expecting, nor receiving, a reply.

“See you in the morning,” Brendon said, Ryan nodding then leaving them alone to go upstairs. He walked slowly because he didn’t know where the lights were, using his hands to guide him. When he made it to the bedroom he located the light, looking at the door where Gabe had disappeared behind hours before for a moment. He wondered what Gabe was doing; if he was as upset as his boyfriend.

Frowning, Ryan shut the door softly, making sure the balcony curtains were drawn (even if there was no one around) then stripping down to his boxers. He didn’t like going to bed alone, but he understood. Honestly. Flipping the light off, Ryan went to the bed and climbed onto it, crawling up the mattress and collapsing where Brendon always lay.

His head barely reached the pillow when he was completely out.


	13. Day Twelve

**Day Twelve**

Ryan wasn’t all that surprised to wake up alone the next morning. Disappointed, yeah, he was hoping that Brendon would leave William and come upstairs, but he honestly didn’t expect it was going to happen. Still, when he opened his eyes to discover half the bed just as cold and empty as it was when he went to sleep, Ryan couldn’t help but sigh miserably into the pillow. He wanted to be selfish and have Brendon all to himself though he knew that maybe William needed him a bit more. Maybe.

For probably ten or so minutes Ryan laid there, twisted in the sheets, staring at the beam of warm light that slipped in through the joining points of the curtains over the balcony doors. The house was silent, it was pretty early by Ryan’s guess, and the momentum to leave the bed wasn’t terribly strong. He was comfortable and warm and had little reason to get up and do anything. 

One such reason being the increasing urge to pee. Ryan was able to ignore it for awhile, but it didn’t take long for the pressure on his bladder to become unbearable and force him from his bliss to the bathroom like practically every morning. It was nice that there was a bathroom about ten or so feet from the bed because Ryan was lazy and waited until he absolutely couldn’t hold it any longer.

After he was done, Ryan went to the dresser where his clothes were, yanking the top drawer open. Brendon had given Ryan his own drawer, it was one of the middle ones, but it was too early to think straight and all Ryan wanted was a shirt. He hated exposing his overly thin body. Ryan grabbed the first shirt he saw and slid it on, not caring whose it was, because it fit him just fine. The color was brighter than Ryan would normally wear, namely because it was yellow, but Ryan wasn’t too concerned about that at the moment either.

Ryan opened the bedroom door with every intention of going downstairs to see if Brendon or anyone else was up yet, when he looked to that same closed door where Gabe was hiding. Curiosity, being the bitch it was, took control and, before he knew it, Ryan was tip-toeing across the floor to it. He was curious to see what Gabe was doing, he figured still sleeping, since he hadn’t seen or heard the man since the previous afternoon.

Upon reaching the door, Ryan pressed the side of his head flat against the wood, listening for any sounds within. All he got was silence though, and Ryan quickly found his hand on the doorknob, twisting it with a soft _click_ , and pushing it open just enough to look inside.

The room was dimly lit; the curtain on the window having been left open. A burst of cool air hit Ryan from a fan or air conditioner blowing into the room, and Ryan involuntarily shivered. Sliding halfway inside, Ryan saw Gabe lying diagonally across the large bed on his stomach; fully clothed. He was on top of all the blankets, Ryan guessed he just passed out, with the smell of alcohol filling the air. That wasn’t much of a surprise.

The thing that surprised Ryan was wrapped tightly in Gabe’s arm, pulled firm against his body, was a teddy bear; dressed in what he made out to be a skeleton costume. Ryan wanted to laugh, so he bit his tongue to keep silent—not wanting to wake Gabe. He never imagined Gabe as the loving-stuffed-animals type, to each their own, and found the sight as amusing. The expression on Gabe’s face was sad, pained even, and the amusement on Ryan’s face died.

Perhaps he was thinking about William. And the bear could be a reminder of his cuddly boyfriend.

Or, maybe, Ryan’s just looking into this way too much. Frowning himself, Ryan backed from the room and pulled the door shut again, inhaling clean air. Ryan felt bad for Gabe, worried about him some, but in a way, the older man deserved to feel regret and hurt and other emotional pains. While Ryan didn’t know the whole story, he knew quite a bit. Gabe didn’t need to treat William so harshly for being good friends with Travis—even if the two had a history. He deserved to feel what he made William feel. 

This time, Ryan did go downstairs, bypassing the kitchen and heading straight for the living room. The television had been turned off, the light too, and only the sound of soft snoring filled the large space. Ryan found his boyfriend passed out on the couch; falling half over the edge. Brendon’s left arm dangled to the ground, his face barely on the cushion, and his feet over the arm in what Ryan imagined to be a very uncomfortable angle. A blanket hardly covered him, it too slipping off, exposing some of Brendon’s lower back where his shirt slid up.

William was nowhere in sight. 

A smile and a giggle escaped Ryan, a hand lifting to cover his mouth before he went into full blown laughter. He didn’t want to wake Brendon—especially since that could end badly in several ways. What he wanted was a camera because it was definitely a Kodak moment. Something Ryan would frame and keep forever to look at whenever he needed a pick-me-up. He’d frame and keep Brendon forever if he could too. 

Ryan stood staring, secretly wanting Brendon to fall just to get a good laugh, until a warm breeze tickled his skin and moved his eyes from Brendon to the backdoor that was cracked open a tiny bit. Leaving Brendon to sleep, Ryan left the living room to go to the door. The sun was starting to get brighter, the ocean down below sparkling invitingly and drawing down to it.

Walking the warped path down to Brendon’s private section of beach, Ryan saw a figure sitting close to the water’s edge. As he drew closer, he realized it was William, that made perfect sense, and Ryan walked faster towards him. William had his knees pulled to his chest, chin resting on top, and arms wrapped tightly around them. He stared out into the ocean, waves slipping up and crashing right beneath the tips of his bare toes in a calm, soothing rhythm.

At the end of the semi-paved walkway, Ryan veered into the mix of grass and sand, feet sinking in the moveable ground with grains of sand poking the skin between his toes. He debated calling out to the man, but William looked lost in thought so Ryan decided to just remain quiet and move in strides. Ryan was sure that William knew he was there as he got a few feet away, though he made no acknowledgments to Ryan’s presence. Accepting that William probably just wanted silence, Ryan sat himself beside the other man and mirrored his position, staring out at a sail boat in the distance.

A warm breeze swirled around them, teasing Ryan’s hair and making William’s look like butterflies floating around his face. Ryan watched the little white sail move around for a few minutes before he got bored and moved his focus to the water stretching up to his feet instead. He smiled in amusement when the water fell just shy of touching him because it was a game, and he was winning.

The sun kept getting warmer and higher, making the land brighter and brighter. The rays reflected off the ocean to make it sparkle, looking somewhat like a twisted disco ball. Seagulls squawked and flew overhead, searching for any edible morsel they could scavenge to eat. Ryan watched one of the winged rats circle around, stupidly thinking he had food, only to abandon them after a few minutes to try somewhere else. Another bird came down to the beach and walked around, a safe distance from Ryan, trying to find maybe a hidden scrap the others missed. 

Ryan practically forgot William was there until he finally spoke; all the sights and sounds around him having taken his mind somewhere else. “I understand if you’re mad at me too,” came the quiet, tired voice from Ryan’s left.

Confused, Ryan turned his head to find William still staring into the distance; eyes red and worn. “Huh?” 

“Last night.” Bill’s lips barely moved. “I kept Brendon from you. I understand if you’re mad,” he clarified.

“I’m not mad,” Ryan said simply. “You needed a friend. Brendon’s your best friend.” Ryan frowned.

“I was selfish,” William said back. Silently, Ryan agreed. But then again, he was selfish too. “We didn’t even do anything. Just sat there. He fell asleep around two.” He sighed. “I couldn’t sleep though. No matter how hard I tried,” he mumbled.

“I fell asleep really quick.” Ryan shrugged. “I woke up probably a half hour ago. Bren’s still asleep.”

“If I wasn’t such a fucking mess you would have had Brendon like you were supposed to.” Ryan frowned harder. William’s face was a mix of anger, exhaustion, and pain. “I don’t mean to keep ruining your vacation.”

“You’re not ruining my vacation.” Ryan told him, lost to what he could do to help make William feel better. “I’ve been in shittier situations.” 

“Then a fucked up love battle?” Bill humorlessly laughed. “Leave it to me, though, to make myself the center of it all.” He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his face to his knees. Hesitantly, Ryan reached over and rubbed William’s shoulder gently, hoping it might help. He really didn’t want William to start crying because he hated watching people cry, and he couldn’t just abandon William there because that’d be rude and probably upset him more.

“It’s a really nice day,” Ryan said in a failed attempt to distract the other man. William’s shoulder shook momentarily with dry laughter, his head lifting as he wiped away a few tears to Ryan’s displeasure. Ryan lowered his hand as William recomposed himself, going back to staring into the distance. 

“Hey Ryan; can I ask you a personal question?” William turned his head to look at Ryan with puffy tear-glazed brown eyes. He reminded Ryan of a hungry, lost puppy.

“Sure, I guess.” Ryan shrugged.

“I know it didn’t exactly work out like you had hoped,” he bit his lip momentarily, “but when…when did you know that you wanted to marry Pete?” The question took Ryan completely by surprise and he just stared, wide eyed, only making William’s mood worsen. “Sorry,” he sighed, dropping his shoulders, “I shouldn’t have asked. It’s personal.”

“No—no, it’s okay.” Ryan came back to reality. “I just…wasn’t expecting it, is all,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess I knew when…” Truth was, Ryan never really thought about it. He asked Pete to marry him as a spontaneous decision—a way to keep Pete for himself. However, that wasn’t the only reason. He couldn’t tell William that, though, because that seemed desperate, obsessive, and heartless; none of which William needed right now.

Ryan inhaled deeply. “I guess I knew naturally. We had been dating a few years, living together…” Ryan stared down at the sand around him. “I loved him. Apparently it was just one sided, though, you know?” William nodded, expression thoughtful. “In some way, I’ll always love him,” Ryan mumbled.

“I know what that’s like,” Bill dryly laughed. He turned his head straight towards the horizon again. “I was so, so mad at Travie when he stopped talking to me those few years. I thought he was dead at one point and I felt like a piece of myself died.” He shook his head. “Then yesterday when he showed up at the diner, I…” William sucked his lips in, tears pooling in his eyes. “I felt this warm wave wash over me—like all my worries and pains were momentarily nonexistent.” Ryan smiled; it was a bit cheesy.

“Don’t get me wrong; I was, I am, pissed at him for doing that to me.” Bill brushed his eyes quickly. “But I feel so torn now. I’m sure by now you know that Travie and I dated,” Ryan felt his cheeks warm, “and I’m not saying that I want that again, I love Gabe, but I can’t completely cut Travie out of my life like Gabe wants. Especially since I just got him back.” He exhaled miserably. “They’re the two most important people in my life, beside Bren, and they’re constantly at each other’s throats.” A tear rolled down his cheek slowly. “I can’t stand it,” Bill whispered.

Ryan opened his mouth, but didn’t want anything stupid to come out, and shut it again. Feeling the need to do something, Ryan put his arm around William’s shoulders. Almost instantly, William leaned over against Ryan and laid his head on Ryan’s shoulder, shaking a bit. No doubt from being worked up and so exhausted.

Silence fell over them, Ryan absently rubbing William’s arm while watching boats in the distance. After about ten minutes, William sniffled and shifted around, not leaving Ryan’s semi-embrace. “I feel so pathetic right now.” Ryan frowned. “Stuck in some shitty love triangle. Angle, actually, since not all sides would connect. Hopelessly in love with two men who hate each other, and I can’t give either up.” 

“Have you…thought about who might…you know, be your ‘soul mate’ or whatever?” There were reasons Ryan wasn’t one to offer advice. That was a prime example. “I don’t know much about either, but it seems like Gabe is very…physical…” Ryan tried to speak carefully. He didn’t want to anger William either.

“Gabe…Gabe is complicated, I guess, for lack of better words.” More dry laughter. “Yeah, he is very physical. He loves to drink and party and act like a teenager whenever he possibly can. We fight, we argue, we say things to each other that we don’t really mean. He’s slept around with people he’s met in clubs, and I’ve done the same to him.” Bill trucked some hair back behind his ear.

“But it’s not all bad. I love Gabe, and I know he loves me. When I’m sick or sad, he’s right there beside me to get me anything I need and do whatever he can think of to make me feel better.” A smile came over his softening face. “And he may not seem like it, but he can be really romantic and sweet when he wants to be. One time, he flooded the studio where I work with dozens of red roses and only a small white card reading ‘ _Because You’re Beautiful_ ’ without it being some holiday or anything.” A few more tears ran down William’s face.

“And Travie…” Bill continued. “Some of my best memories are with him. He’s always been someone I’ve looked up to—he was this cute older boy from New York that wore baggy clothes and listened to rap music. He was different; interesting. And he was so quiet, but so incredibly nice once you got to know him.” Ryan listened diligently as William unraveled in his arm. The sun was very warm now, hurting Ryan’s eyes with its brightness.

“Travie may have been my first, but he was everything I imagined. Not once did he ever try to do something to make me uncomfortable or upset. We never argued or even disagreed, for that matter.” Ryan just continued rubbing William’s arm, focusing half on the man’s words, and half on the boats far out soaring by. It wasn’t that he didn’t care about what William was saying, it was more that Ryan wasn’t some Dr. Phil or anything and tended to avoid people’s personal problems. 

“I think a lot of that was what drove me to Gabe. Travie was perfect, but he was _too_ perfect, you know? I craved that ‘normal’ relationship—kind of what I have with Gabe now.” He brushed another escaped tear away. “But most of all, the closer Travie and I got as a couple, the more afraid I got of losing him. I was terrified that something would force us apart and I would lose him as a friend too and I…I couldn’t deal with that. So I ended it before it became a problem.”

“It’ll all work out, Bill,” Ryan mumbled with as much encouragement he could muster. The man really had a valid problem. Ryan could tell by William’s tone that he was incredibly in love with both Travis and Gabe, and felt bad that William was torn by his feelings. 

“Fuck; I’m sorry, Ryan.” William laughed lightly and sat up. “You’re supposed to be having a good time and here I am dumping all my problems on you.” He dug his palms into his eyes, a fake smile forced on his lips.

“I don’t mind,” Ryan half lied. He didn’t want to get tangled in the situation, but he wanted to help make William feel better too. The man was nothing but kind to him, and pretty much everyone else in the world too. He deserve this pain.

“Thanks, but I know you don’t want to listen to my shit.” Another laugh. “I hate how everyone thinks my relationship with Gabe is their business, yet I can’t keep my mouth from running.” 

“You want to know what I think?” The words came out before Ryan could stop them.

“Sure; why not.” Bill chuckled. “Everyone else has offered their opinions.”

“I think you need to go talk to Gabe,” Ryan said. “Sit him down and tell him how you feel. That you do love Travis and you’re going to remain friends with him, but that you love Gabe too and that’s not going to change.” Confidence like this was rare for Ryan. “Then, one of two things will happen. Gabe will accept that and you two will get over this and be just fine, or, the less desired option, Gabe won’t accept that you’re not giving Travis up and you’ll go your separate ways; hopefully still as friends.” 

William looked at Ryan carefully, studying him, a real smile replacing the fake ones. “You’re right.” He nodded. “We leave in two days, right? I have to deal with this.” Bill took a deep breath. “I have to talk to Gabe. I’ve ignored him long enough already, anyway.” He laughed more. 

William stood up, reaching down to offer a hand to Ryan and help him up. Ryan brushed the sand away, straightening his clothes. William did the same and tucked his long hair back out of his face, hugging himself and leading the way back to the house. The path was warm, stinging Ryan’s bare feet, making him walk at a quickened pace.

The wood inside was fortunately a cool relief. Ryan closed the door once they both were inside, eyes adjusting to the light difference. “Thanks, Ryan,” Bill said, placing a friendly kiss on Ryan’s cheek then going for the stairs. Ryan watched him disappear, listening to the door above open then shut. He stood frozen, listening, only moving after a few moments when the coast seemed clear and he didn’t hear any yelling or smashing items.

Ryan went to the living room where he found Brendon still asleep on the couch; the blanket completely off now. Smiling, Ryan went to his boyfriend (can he even call him that?) and patted his arm until Brendon woke, looking up sleepily. “Hey, Ry,” he muttered with a lazy smile.

“Move over,” Ryan said. Brendon yawned and obliged, straightening himself to make room for Ryan to lie alongside him. When Ryan did, Brendon wrapped his arms around Ryan and nuzzled his face into Ryan’s shoulder. 

“You’re warm…” he mumbled. “’n you’re wearin’ m’shirt,” he added with faint traces of laughter.

“Looks better on me,” Ryan joked, hugging Brendon back.

“Mmm,” Brendon hummed, “It does.” 

Somehow, even with the sun filling the open space completely, Ryan managed to drift to sleep; wrapped up on the couch, feeling wanted and protected by Brendon’s embrace. 

=-=-=-=-=

Somehow, regardless of an entire night’s sleep, Ryan managed to stay out until roughly noon; waking alone and absolutely refreshed on the couch. He glanced around sleepily for Brendon, unable to locate the younger man anywhere he could see. Where Brendon disappeared to this time was beyond Ryan, and how he managed to get away without waking Ryan, especially since Ryan was on top of him, was an even bigger mystery. For his sake though, Brendon better not have left the property, or Ryan was going to be pissed.

Pushing up from the couch, Ryan stumbled a bit as he found his balance, digging his palms into his eyes and heading for the kitchen. He still didn’t find Brendon, but sitting on a stool with a laptop was Gabe, redressed in fresh clothes and overall looking more relaxed. A smile crept over Ryan’s lips and he went to a stool beside the older man, sliding onto the seat and grabbing the counter to prevent falling off.

“Morning,” Ryan said in greeting, propping his head up on his elbows with his hands cupping his face.

“Afternoon,” Gabe answered with his own little smile, eyes not leaving the screen. Ryan couldn’t be bothered to invade his privacy and look to see what he was doing. 

“Where’s Bill?” he asked before he realized it.

“Upstairs.” The reply was smooth and laid back. A good sign. “Probably’ll sleep all day.” Ryan hummed.

“What’re you doing for the day?” Ryan tried to keep the conversation going.

Gabe shrugged. “Mess around on this,” he said. “Might go downtown for a bit. Maybe even go bother Suarez.” Another shrug. “You?”

“No idea.” Ryan half frowned. “Have you seen Brendon around?”

“Nope,” Gabe said, but something about his voice and smile was unsettling. “You should probably go get dressed, though.” Gabe shut his laptop, tucking it under his arm and turning towards Ryan. “You never know who’ll show up or what you’ll be dragged into.” His eyes flashed quickly with what Ryan perceived as cynical amusement, smirking and standing. “Later, Ryan,” he said, heading for the front door. 

Frowning, even more unsettled, Ryan got off the stool and went upstairs to get properly dressed just in case. It wasn’t like he was naked or overly exposed; though it was a little embarrassing to be in boxers. The bedroom door was shut so Ryan opened it slowly, looking inside and softly calling, “Brendon?” thinking he might be there. The room was just as empty, though, and Ryan went completely inside; disappointed.

However, a spark of excitement shot through Ryan’s gut when he noticed some clothes folded neatly on the bed with a note card baring his name resting on top. He went to the bed and picked the card up, the inside reading, _wear these_ , in messy-neat handwriting. Ryan got even more confused by the two simple words, setting the small card aside and looking over the pile.

On top was a clean pair of Ryan’s boxers that he quickly exchanged for his current ones; a pair of khaki cargo pants beneath. They weren’t really something Ryan wore a lot, but he figured ‘what the hell’ because Brendon wanted him in them for a reason and they went just past his knees anyway. Last in the pile was a shirt; Ryan removing the one he had on to put on the new red-brown one. 

On the blanket was another card that read, _turn around_.

Doing so, Ryan looked behind him to find Brendon leaning casually in the doorway, dressed in a similar fashion. “I’m glad it all fits,” he said, looking Ryan over. “You’re so skinny that I was wondering…”

“How long have you been there?” Ryan asked, brow knit. 

“Not long,” Brendon answered. “Just long enough to see the good parts.” He grinned.

“Perv.” Ryan tried to be disgusted and offended, but was really fighting off a large smile. “Where were you?” 

“Getting everything ready.”

“For what?” Ryan skeptically asked.

“For me to know,” Brendon pushed off the door’s molding and went to Ryan, “And for you to find out.” 

“What’s with the outfit?”

“Stop asking questions,” Brendon said, slapping Ryan’s hand away as he pulled at the shirt for emphasis. “You’ll understand soon enough.”

“I’m to be some sacrifice, aren’t I?” Ryan joked, a tiny part of him actually fearful. A finger, at most.

“Of course.” Brendon kissed Ryan. “Gotta keep the gods happy for good weather and prime surfing,” he joked as well.

“But I’m not a virgin.” Ryan frowned.

“Virgins are so scarce now that I don’t think it matters anymore,” Brendon said with laughter. “We have to leave no though or we’ll be late,” he said, pulling back from Ryan.

“Late for what?”

“Told you; for me to know,” he suddenly put his arms around Ryan’s waist and lifted him up over his shoulder, “And for you to find out.” Brendon wrapped one arm around the back of Ryan’s knees to hold him. 

“Brendon!” Ryan flailed, grabbing onto the bottom of Brendon’s shirt for support. “Put me down!”

“No,” the man answered, leaving the bedroom and pulling the door shut with his free arm. “Don’t think I will.”

“Brendon!” Ryan continued flailing until he realized where they were heading. “Don’t carry me downstairs!” he firmly stated, clutching Brendon’s shirt tighter. “Brendon!” It was higher than before.

“Stop moving or we’ll fall,” Brendon said, taking hold of the railing and descending the steps. Ryan squeaked lowly in the back of his throat, shutting his eyes and trying to stay as still as possible while Brendon carried him. When they reached the bottom, Brendon laughed, setting Ryan back on the ground. 

“You scare way too easily,” he said, adjusting Ryan’s clothes. Ryan scowled and smacked Brendon’s hands away to do it himself. “I wasn’t going to drop you.”

“You still didn’t have to carry me,” Ryan grumbled with a half-scowl, half-pout. Brendon rolled his eyes and took hold of Ryan’s hand, leading him towards the front door. Half way through the living room, he stopped in front of a closet door, opening it and releasing Ryan’s hand to reach inside and pull out a couple pairs of hiking boots; handing one pair to Ryan.

“These should fit,” he said.

Ryan took the boots and looked at them questioningly. “And I need these…why?”

“Just put them on,” Brendon replied as he tugged his own pair on; tightly lacing them. Ryan obeyed and leaned back against the wall to keep his balance while he pulled the pair handed to him on, Brendon doing the laces for him. “How do they feel?” He looked up at Ryan from where he was kneeled on the ground.

Ryan shrugged. “Fine.”

“Good.” Brendon smiled, standing. “We’re all set then.” He closed the closet door and took Ryan’s hand again before he could open his mouth to protest. Brendon guided them outside where Ryan saw the jeep parked in front of the porch; the back holding a large backpack.

“Where are we going?” Ryan tried again, walking slowly down the steps. Brendon didn’t reply, rounding the vehicle and getting into the driver’s seat. Sighing, Ryan gave up and got into the other side, buckling up and only imagining what Brendon had in mind for them.

As soon as his belt clicked into place, Brendon started the vehicle and shifted into drive, pulling away from the house. Ryan shook his head to move the hair from his face as the wind rushed past them, shifting around in the seat to get comfortable. He didn’t know where they were going or how long it would take to get there, but judging by the large backpack behind him, Ryan didn’t think they’d be back any time soon.

“Already told Spencer we were going on a little trip so don’t worry about calling him.” Brendon told Ryan right as Ryan started thinking about doing just that. “Gabe knows too but left a note for Bill just in case.”

“Therefore I’m the only one still in the dark.”

“Basically.” Brendon smiled. “I think even Alex and Nate know by now.” Ryan really wasn’t that surprised and nodded, slouching down some. “You’re the only one who wasn’t supposed to know so I think it worked out.” 

“Yay,” Ryan sarcastically muttered. He leaned forward to put on some music, crossing his arms after and enjoying the scenery. 

=-=-=-=-=

“You’re going to get us lost again.” Ryan looked at the woods surrounding them. “And if you climb another tree and fall out, no one will be able to find us to help, and you’ll die.”

“You’re a little cynical.” Brendon commented while pulling the backpack from the jeep. Ryan shrugged, indifferent. “And we’re not going to get lost. I know exactly how to get to where we’re going.” He hauled the pack on and started doing up the straps around his body. “For the most part.”

“For the most part,” Ryan repeated in that sarcastic ‘uh huh’ kind of tone. “That means we’ll get lost and eventually die out here, lost in Hawaii. You’ll fall out of a tree and die a slow, painful death, unless you break your neck or I end your misery which we both know won’t happen.” Ryan leaned back against the jeep. “I’ll be sad and sit with your dead body, but after a few days, I’ll probably resort to cannibalism in attempt to stay alive, drinking any rainwater. Our remains will be found after some extended period of time, and some crappy investigation will ensue to figure out exactly how we died. Our friends will be left to bury whatever the cops hand over with at least the peace of mind of knowing what happened when we never returned.”

Brendon stood staring at Ryan, his face a little unbelieving and shocked. Ryan had spouted the entire scenario out in a serious, monotone voice; like it would actually happen. “Come on,” he said eventually, shaking his head. “We’re not going to die out here. But we have about an hour hike ahead of us so we need to get going.”

“What on earth is worth fighting our way through a jungle for an hour?”

Brendon headed for the trees. “You’ll see,” he called back, Ryan leaving the car and jogging a bit to catch up. “Just watch where you’re walking. Don’t want to trip on roots or step in a hole and break something.” Brendon warned, pushing some branches aside to reveal traces of a path—it hadn’t been kept up so nature had been reclaiming the land over the years.

“Wonderful,” Ryan muttered, stepping past Brendon and into the wooded area entirely; twigs snapping beneath his feet. Brendon followed him in, Ryan allowing him to lead the way. Brendon grabbed onto the straps of the backpack and started down the path, humming some tune lightly. Ryan sighed heavily and followed.

It was going to be a very long afternoon.

=-=-=-=-=

“Don’t you have to work today?” Ryan asked as the two moved deeper into the woods.

“I did,” Brendon replied, about a yard ahead. “But I told them I wasn’t coming in.” He glanced back at Ryan with a smile. “I’d rather spend the day with my boyfriend instead of a bunch of random strangers.”

“You know,” Ryan stepped over a large protruding root, “I’m still kind of a stranger. So you’re still spending the day with one.”

“Well that makes me a stranger too.” Brendon stopped to push a low branch out of the way. “And yet, you trust me.” He smirked. Ryan walked past him with a frown, smiling as soon as Brendon was out of his peripheral view. 

“How much longer?” Ryan asked when Brendon took the lead again.

“Awhile,” he said, going back to humming. Ryan groaned and tipped his head back, nearly dragging his feet along.

=-=-=-=-=

“I’m tired of walking,” Ryan whined, a good distance behind Brendon now.

“We’re almost there,” Brendon called back.

“That’s what you said forever ago!” Ryan exhaled loudly.

“Just keep walking.” Brendon ordered. Ryan let out a long frustrated noise, but kept walking regardless.

=-=-=-=-=

In the end, the long walk really was worth it. Ryan was about ready to give up and sit down, they’d been walking for at _least_ an hour and a half, when Brendon pushed some bushes out of the way for Ryan; Ryan stepping into a possible Heaven. 

Facing Ryan was a rather large waterfall dumping water into a pool below. There were flowers and trees and birds and butterflies and Ryan was frozen in spot, staring, for what felt like years. “Told you,” Brendon sing-sang while joining Ryan in the open-enclosed space. “One of Hawaii’s many hidden splendors.” He stood next to Ryan, starting to undo the straps of the backpack.

“Bren…” Ryan barely found his voice. “This…this is…amazing…” he pretty much whispered, taking a few steps forward.

“Mhmm,” Brendon hummed, sliding the backpack off to free his back of the weight and setting it on the ground. Ryan paid no attention to what Brendon started to do and started walking around, taking in all the bright and beautiful sights. The birds were high up in the trees surrounding them all around, but still visible, and for a moment, Ryan tried to see how many different types of birds he could detect; doing the same with the butterflies hovering around the flowers. 

The sound of the waterfall crashing down filled the air, but it was a peaceful noise. Ryan walked closer to the water and looked in; the view so crystal clear that he could see the bottom the entire way up to the meeting point of the waterfall and the pool. A few colorful fish swam lazily around, stopping in one place a few moments then heading in a new direction. There were a few small schools that moved in sync, mesmerizing Ryan as they swam. 

When Ryan turned around, he saw Brendon had laid a blanket out and was setting containers of food out on it as he pulled them from the backpack. Ryan couldn't remember the last time he'd been on a picnic, it had to be a good fifteen years at least, and he got a tiny bit excited as he returned to the man; sitting at the edge of the blanket on his knees. "This is all just...wow..." 

Brendon looked up from what he was doing, lips curved in a sincere smile. "I thought you'd like it," he said, tugging out some soda to top it all off. "And in my defense," he gave one towards Ryan, "Alex cooked everything." Ryan laughed, a true laugh, and set the bottle aside. "So you won't die or anything."

"I doubt you're that bad of a chef." Ryan commented. _You're perfect at everything_ , he thought. 

Brendon scoffed, nodding. "I actually am. I can't even manage a bowl of cereal." Ryan laughed more. "Why do you think I'm such good friends with Nalex? Without them, I'd waste away," he joked. 

"It's their job," Ryan said in Brendon's defense.

"Exactly." Brendon agreed with a determined face. He reached to the side and plucked one of the brightly colored flowers, handing it to Ryan and saying, "I'm really glad you came to Hawaii." Ryan accepted the flower, face tinted with blush, laying it down beside him.

"Yeah," he agreed, receiving a paper plate next, "Me too." 

=-=-=-=-=

“Brendon—what’re you doing?” Ryan asked when Brendon picked him up again. “Put me down!” he demanded as Brendon started towards the water. “I mean it, Brendon!” Brendon blew his hair from his face. “Put me down right now!”

“Okay.” Ryan barely registered the response when Brendon threw Ryan backwards into the water. Ryan hard the large splash before he realized he was submerged beneath the semi-cold water, finding the ground and raising his head above water to breathe. He coughed and rubbed his eyes, pushing his matted bangs aside to see. “You told me to put you down.” Brendon laughed from the bank.

“I,” Ryan coughed some more, pointing at Brendon, “Hate you.” Brendon laughed harder. “I’m all….wet, now!” he gestured to himself.

“I try.” Brendon smirked. He composed himself and brushed his eyes, reaching down and taking hold of the ends of his shirt; lifting it over his head and dropping it to the side. Removing his shoes after, Brendon took a few steps back then ran forward and dove into the pool, water flying at Ryan in a furious spray.

Ryan stumbled backwards, wiping his eyes again. He looked around once his vision was clear to find Brendon, unable to locate him. Confused, Ryan turned around to look behind him when he felt something wrap around his waist, causing Ryan to jump. Brendon popped above the water, holding onto Ryan, grinning. “Don’t,” Ryan put a hand over his heart, “Do that!” 

“You’re too jumpy,” Brendon said, pushing his lips against Ryan’s, water trailing down his face. “And overdressed.” Brendon released Ryan’s waist to find the bottom of the heavy cloth clinging to Ryan’s body, pulling it up over Ryan’s head and tugging it completely off. Ryan felt instantly lighter as Brendon threw the drenched shirt back to the land, though he didn’t like being completely bare-chested either. 

Ryan was pale, thin, and flat. Brendon was tan, muscular, and gorgeous. Thin and pale versus ripped and tan. It wasn’t much of comparison.

“Next,” Brendon said, moving Ryan towards the nearest bank and hauling him from the water to sit him on the edge. He unlaced the boots and yanked them off Ryan’s feet, the socks following, setting them aside so Ryan was left in only the shorts like Brendon. Putting his hands on Ryan’s hips, Brendon pulled Ryan back down, Ryan placing his hands on Brendon’s shoulders for stability as he ended up back in the water.

“Much better.” Brendon smiled as Ryan’s bare feet found the muddy bottom. He held Ryan for a few minutes, the contrast in temperature of Brendon’s body and the water relaxing to Ryan, before Brendon started moving towards the down-pouring water a few yards away.

“Now what’re we doing?” Ryan asked, having to speak over the splashing water that sprayed them in a light mist. 

“They say the waterfall is magical,” Brendon answered, equally as loud. “That you go beneath the fall and make a wish and it will come true.” Ryan tried not to give Brendon a disbelieving look. “But only one wish a year is granted.” 

“How do you now this year’s hasn’t?”

“Not too many people know about this place.” Brendon’s grin grew. “And only someone with a pure wish will get it granted.”

“Pure wish?” Ryan stopped. Any closer and they wouldn’t be able to hear each other at all. Not to mention the water was getting deeper. 

“You know, someone who wishes for wealth or fame is just being greedy and materialistic,” Brendon replied. “Only someone who wishes for something with value and meaning, something they want with all their heart, will get it.”

“You’re weird,” Ryan said, smiling nonetheless. It sounded nice, but Ryan wasn’t five anymore either. There was no such thing as magic. Brendon shrugged, still grinning madly, letting go of Ryan’s hand. 

“Make a wish!”

“I’m not going under that.” Ryan huffed. He’d cross his arms if he wasn’t using them to keep his balance.

“It’s not that bad.” Brendon rolled his eyes playfully. Ryan shook his head regardless. “Come on, Ryan. There has to be something you want with all your heart!” Again Ryan shook his head. Really, Ryan couldn’t think of anything he wanted that badly. Not purely, at least.

“You do it,” Ryan said, “You make a wish.”

“I already have what I want.” The smile was there, but the tone of voice told the truth. “Think of it as getting baptized.” 

“I’m not going under there.” He firmly repeated. Brendon frowned, giving in and closing the distance between them. Now, Ryan should have known better. He should have known better than to let Brendon get that close, especially with that twinkle in his brown eyes, but he didn’t. 

So when Brendon shoved Ryan beneath the water, Ryan barely able to take a breath in time, it was Ryan’s fault.

For a minute Ryan couldn’t move. He was caught up in the motion of the water that was beating down on his bare skin, colors flashing behind his eyes. Brendon grabbed Ryan’s arm a moment later though and pulled him back, holding Ryan up above the water as he coughed it out and practically gasped for breath.

“You okay?” Brendon asked, Ryan clutching onto him for dear life. 

“Why…why would you do that?!” Ryan was considerably angry. His lungs burned. “I told you I didn’t…” he couldn’t finish the sentence as he coughed more, trying not to hack all over Brendon in the process.

“Hey, calm down.” Brendon’s voice was genuine. “You’re fine; I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.” He removed his grip from one of Ryan’s arms to stroke his hair back. “If it was dangerous, I wouldn’t have done it.”

“But I _told_ you ‘no’!” Ryan stressed, coughing a bit more. He tried to pull away from Brendon, shaking from the adrenaline. All he could think about for a minute was Pete. So many times Ryan would tell Pete ‘no’ for one reason or another, but Pete would do it anyway. Ryan wasn’t with Pete anymore. He didn’t want that anymore. 

“Ryan;” Brendon held onto Ryan. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He frowned. Ryan didn’t know if it was water or tears sliding down his cheeks as he fought the urge to look back at Brendon, not the least bit amused. Neither was Brendon anymore. “I wouldn’t-I won’t-let something happen to you, Ryan,” Brendon said wholeheartedly. 

Ryan believed him, but he was still angry. “I told you no…” he almost whispered, giving up trying to get away.

“I know, and I’m sorry.” Brendon pulled Ryan closer. “I shouldn’t have made you do it.” He kissed Ryan’s head then pressed their chests together, holding Ryan close. Ryan felt his body relax some and his heart slow, eyes shutting. “Can you forgive me?” Ryan felt the words rather than hear them.

Silently, Ryan nodded. Brendon wasn’t Pete, he reminded himself. Brendon was better. Brendon actually cared about Ryan and wouldn’t let anything happen to him intentionally. Ryan knew that, and he could forgive Brendon. It wasn’t like Brendon meant for Ryan to get freaked out. It was a little push, a joke, if you will, and Ryan was fine.

Brendon made sure of that.

“I really hate water,” Ryan muttered after a few minutes, gradually getting back to homeostasis. 

Brendon laughed, kissing the top of Ryan’s head, and squeezing him reassuringly as he exhaled, “Then lets get out,” slowly moving towards the bank and helping Ryan back to dry, solid ground. 

=-=-=-=-=

“Answer it already.” Ryan sighed, tired of hearing the constant ring of Brendon’s cellphone. 

“Whoever it is can wait,” Brendon said, leaning down to kiss Ryan some more as he straddled him. Ryan wore the shirt Brendon had taken off earlier and only the boxers, lying on the grass in a beam of warm sunlight that fell into the enclosed space. 

“Just answer it.” Ryan turned his head to the side and pushed at Ryan’s chest until he sat up. Brendon made a frustrated noise and moved to the side, standing then going to the backpack where he had put their phones. He yanked the zipper back and extracted the ringing device, glancing briefly at the screen then back to Ryan. “Well?” Ryan turned onto the side, propping his head on his elbow.

Brendon looked towards the water then drew his arm back, taking a step forward and pelting his phone at the fall. It flipped around in circles, the ring fading out as it slammed into the water and disappeared. “There.” Brendon was smugly proud, brushing his hands together.

Ryan gave him an incredulous look. “That was a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?” 

“It was interrupting our time.”

“You could have turned it off…” Ryan glance at the spot the phone disappeared in.

“I needed a new one anyway.” Brendon shrugged, returning to Ryan. “Now,” Brendon used his foot to push Ryan onto his back, dropping to his knees, “Where were we?” he captured Ryan’s lips in another kiss.

=-=-=-=-=

Ryan sat on the edge of the bank, feet in the water, watching the fish cautiously approach before jetting away. The sun was starting to set behind the trees, giving everything a warm glow; including Brendon. 

The Hawaiian was back in the water, floating around lazily on his back, humming the same tune he had hummed to Ryan a few nights prior. For the most part, Ryan paid no attention to him, but when he wandered into a beam of sunlight, Ryan kicked at the cold water to control himself. The golden light bathing Brendon’s skin…the light making the droplets of water on those amazing abs sparkling like stars…Ryan had to practically beat himself down.

“What’re you going to do when you get back to Vegas?” Brendon casually asked, using his arms to move himself around.

“Go back to work.” Ryan shrugged, staring at his feet. “There’re a few more weeks of summer school. Then the normal term starts again.”

“What grade do you teach?” It was clear to Ryan that Brendon was avoiding the actual fact that Ryan was leaving, and Ryan was thankful.

“During the summer it depends.” Ryan moved his feet, scaring the fish. “But normally, tenth and eleventh.”

“Is it hard?” Brendon looked at Ryan as he drifted by.

“Not really.” Ryan looked back. “Some kids don’t do the work, but overall I’ve never had many problems. I like it.”

“There’re schools here too…” Brendon mumbled, thinking Ryan couldn’t hear. He did, though. 

“What about you?” Ryan leaned back on his arms. “What’s your typical day like?”

“Every day’s different.” Brendon answered. “I work mornings then spend my afternoons either at the diner or on the water. Then one weekend a month I have Mia, which pretty much goes the same each time.”

“Then when Bill’s here…” Brendon laughed.

“I don’t think I’ll be seeing much of Bill anymore.” Brendon’s face looked happy, but beneath the laugh his voice was anything but.

“Why?” Ryan’s eyebrows pulled together in complete confusion. Brendon and William were best friends.

“One, Travis is back. When Bill comes to visit, that’s who he’ll be with.” Brendon stared at the sky. “Two, he wants to fix things with Gabe. Since Gabe doesn’t care much for Hawaii, Bill will give up coming here more than once or twice a year to make Gabe happy.” 

“He wouldn’t-“

“I know him, Ryan.” Brendon cut Ryan off. “Ever since they met, William’s been all about pleasing Gabe. There’re some things he’ll stand up to, but not much.” Ryan frowned hard. He didn’t believe that Bill would give up an almost lifelong friendship for a deranged relationship.

“Why don’t you go visit him?” Ryan suggested after a few minutes silence.

“Hawaii is more my element.” Brendon paused a few feet from Ryan and stood up, turning to face him. “It’s no big deal, Ryan.” He smiled; fake. “I’m used to being alone. I get by just fine.” Brendon shook his hair out then headed for the bank, climbing from the water and heading towards the backpack.

Ryan watched him, studying him, noting how tense and upset Brendon truly was. He still couldn’t believe that William wouldn’t come visit Brendon all the time, but Brendon was right – Ryan didn’t know Bill like Brendon did.

Brendon slipped off the wet shorts, left only in the wet boxers, then sat down in the grass and laid back; arms folded behind his head and staring thoughtfully at the sky. Silently sighing, Ryan went back to staring at the water before him which moved now only with the rush of the fall. He kept still so the fish would approach again, wishing he could reach down and touch them.

Ryan had a wish now, but wasn’t going anywhere near that waterfall. 

=-=-=-=-=

The sky was dark, filled with stars looking down at them. By this point, the waterfall was just an every day kind of noise to Ryan, and he forgot it was even there. He laid on his back on top the blanket they had eaten on earlier, arms folded behind his head, mirroring the position Brendon had held hours before. "That's the north star," Ryan said, pointing towards one of the bright balls.

"No way," Brendon said, disbelieving.

"It totally is!" Ryan scoffed, arm returning to be part of his pillow.

"It can't be!" Brendon continued to object. "That's south. The north star is _north_. Hence it's name." 

"How do you know that's south?" Ryan turned his head towards Brendon, barely able to make out his features in the darkness.

"It's my job to know directions." Brendon replied, Ryan knowing there was an eye roll too. "That's south."

"You don't even know where I pointed." Ryan stuck his tongue out. "And if you're so good with directions, how come we got lost the other day in the woods by your house?"

"That's irrelevant."

"How is it irrelevant?" Ryan started laughing. "If you know directions, we wouldn't have gotten lost. But we did, so maybe you suck at your job." 

"Or maybe," Brendon was suddenly over Ryan, "I just wanted some alone time." He started poking Ryan's stomach, making Ryan laugh harder and try to hit his hands away with breathless protests of, 'stop!' Brendon continued though, purposely tickling Ryan to make him flail and laugh and even start crying from laughing so hard. 

Ryan managed to finally shove Brendon off, curling onto his side and clutching his abdomen, still laughing. Brendon laughed beside him, on his side facing Ryan. It took a few minutes for Ryan to stop, having to regulate his breathing and stop the tears from sliding out. His abdomen hurt, but he didn't much mind, releasing his stomach to dig the heel of his palm into his eyes.

"I'd keep you forever, if I could," Brendon quietly said once the atmosphere was settled again, reaching over to Ryan and pushing his hair back behind his head. "But," he exhaled a large breath, "I can't." The pain in Ryan's stomach turned to nausea. 

Brendon put his arm around Ryan and tugged him closer, molding their bodies together. "At least you're mine for one more day," he mumbled, pressing his face into Ryan's hair.

"Brendon?" Ryan settled his head on Brendon's shoulder, placing one hand over Brendon's heart. 

"Hmm?" Brendon hummed, intertwining their legs. 

"Will you sing me a song?" He felt like a little child, but he really didn't care.

"Like what?" Brendon asked, not denying Ryan's request. 

"Whatever you want." Ryan didn't really care. He just wanted to hear Brendon's voice. 

Brendon thought for a moment, but eventually started something very quietly, Ryan feeling the words more than hearing them. He let his eyes fall shut, focusing solely on the vibrations of Brendon's chest and the warmth of Brendon's body pressed close to his. Somewhere around the words, " _I know the world's a broken bone, but melt your headaches, call it home,_ " Ryan lost the ability to stay awake.


	14. Day Thirteen

**Day Thirteen**

Something continuously pestered Ryan’s subconscious, as he was mentally living in an excellent dream, eventually forcing him awake and back to reality. The fragments of his dream slipped away like smoke before Ryan could grasp them, making what occurred unmemorable. But Ryan knew that he had a good dream, and that’s what made Ryan’s sleep good too. So whatever woke Ryan up was at the top of his ‘hate list’ because it took away that good feeling. 

It took Ryan a few moments to re-orient himself. Feeling came to his body slowly, like his soul was gradually reentering, from his head to his toes. Everything sounded like general noise for a while but then started to clear out; the waterfall swiftly bringing the reminding of Brendon, the previous day and where he was. 

Opening his eyes was a challenge in itself because Ryan really didn’t want to be awake, and opening his eyes would inevitably mean that he was, unfortunately, awake. The same nagging _something_ was there though, eating away at Ryan, so with a frustrated groan, he parted his lids a fraction of an inch. Bright, almost blue, light flooded his pupils. Ryan, groaning again, this time from the sting. 

Moving was a whole different story. 

All of Ryan’s body felt heavy and tight. He was dully cold but not enough to be that uncomfortable. There was some warmth there and as Ryan shifted into it, he realized it was Brendon; the younger man tight against Ryan with his limbs locked around Ryan’s body. Ryan took a deep breath for no real reason, inhaling the pleasant smell of Brendon, smiling into the curve of Brendon’s neck where his face was pressed. Being close to Brendon, having the other man hold him close, _protectively_ , like he owned Ryan, made Ryan temporarily forget the reason he woke to begin with and nearly put him to sleep again. 

Then Ryan heard the noise again, finally recognizing it as his cellphone, and knew sleep, at least at the moment, was not an option. 

His cellphone was in a pocket of the backpack, a considerable distance away. Ryan obviously couldn’t just ignore it because it woke him up and was keeping him awake, and the only other way to shut the damn thing up was to turn it off. Meaning Ryan would have to actually leave his bliss and go turn it off. Meaning Ryan was seriously going to kill whoever was continuously calling him. 

Waiting out one more round of ringing, Ryan gave out a frustrated noise and moved away from Brendon who stayed asleep, but objected to Ryan’s moving by trying to pull him back. Ryan pushed Brendon’s arms away, Brendon eventually releasing Ryan and curling up on himself, still not waking. It took a considerable amount of effort for Ryan to convince himself to get up, using his arms to get himself into a sitting position. 

Ryan dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and rubbed them to adjust to the light around him, guessing it to be sometime between seven and eight. The sun was starting to rise higher to make everything brighter, a few birds calling sweetly to each other. Ryan didn’t have the strength in his legs yet to stand, so he settled for crawling, leaving the blanket and crossing the dew-coated grass towards the backpack to turn his phone off like he should have done the night before. Then again, only Spencer has ever called Ryan this early, and he wouldn’t keep doing so if Ryan didn’t answer. Usually. 

Ryan had some difficulties opening the pocket where his phone was because the zipper was small and his fingers didn’t want to bend enough to hold onto it. But after a few moments Ryan managed, using the little strength he had for just waking up to remove the noisy device that sounded louder in the open air. Ryan fell back onto his butt and flipped the phone open, bringing it to his ear and mumbling, “’lo?” 

“God, finally!” came the frustrated and rather loud voice on the other end. “What the hell have you been doing for the last hour?!” 

“Sleeping?” Ryan held the phone a little ways away from his ear before he went deaf. 

“I was about really to call the police or something!” William continued to yell. “I tried Brendon’s phone but got nowhere. I went through hell trying to get your number and then when all I got was more nothing, I-“ 

“What do you want?” Ryan cut him off with his own annoyed frustration. 

“Where the hell are you?” Bill asked, voice softer but still just as angered. 

“I thought Brendon left you a note?” Ryan answered, looking back to the man curled up asleep on the blanket. ‘ 

“Brendon’s _note_ ,” Ryan imagined William making air quotes, “Only said that you guys were going out and not to expect you back until sometime today.” 

“Okay, well, there’s a lot more left to today.” Ryan yawned, shifting his position as his legs started to fall asleep. “So we’ll be back sometime…later…” 

“Can you just tell me where you are so I know how long it will take for you to get back?” 

“No.” The answer made William sigh heavily. 

“Tell Brendon to hurry back.” 

Ryan couldn’t be bothered that much to care. “Why?” 

“Just tell him, Ryan, or so help me, I’ll-“ Ryan wasn’t in the mood to get threatened and hung up, turning his phone off before William had a chance to call back. He would have to kill Spencer and Jon later for giving his number out. They were the only ones beside Brendon who had it as far as he knew. 

“Bitch,” Ryan muttered at his phone, banishing it to the backpack again and then crawling back to the blanket. The spot he was in earlier was still fairly warm, Ryan mimicked a cat by moving around until he was satisfied enough to lie down; using his arm as a pillow. 

Right as his eyes closed, Ryan was lightly startled by Brendon’s arms, latching onto him and pulling him close. Brendon stretched out his legs to make room for Ryan so they could be pressed together, Ryan opening one eye enough to see Brendon’s were closed. 

Figuring Brendon was still asleep, Ryan went along with it and fit himself to the younger man, about to achieve sleep once more when Brendon mumbled, “Where’d y’go?” Their foreheads were touching as they faced each other in mirror positions. 

“Phone.” Ryan replied after a few moments silence. 

“Who?” 

“Bill.” The conversation was limited to simple words as Brendon was coming from sleep, and Ryan was trying to get there; the two meeting each other somewhere in the middle of semi-consciousness. 

Brendon took a deep breath then slowly exhaled. “Why?” 

“Dunno,” Ryan mumbled, not caring. “Wants us back.” 

“Problem?” Brendon’s grip on Ryan tightened. It was relaxing. 

“Doubt it.” 

“Time?” 

“Eight-ish.” Brendon didn’t ask anything else after that so Ryan stopped keeping himself awake to answer, letting his mind be taken away in the reassuring knowledge that he was secure in Brendon’s arms; warm and sated. 

-~*~-~*~- 

It was roughly noon by the time they actually did make it back to the house. Right away Ryan spotted William sitting on the steps of the porch, foot tapping at an annoyed pace and arms crossed over his chest. Brendon barely got the car parked before the man was striding at a rushed pace towards them, looking ready to kill them both. He probably was. They made no attempt to hurry back like William had instructed Ryan hours before. 

“It’s about time!” Bill practically growled as he neared; his long legs allowing him to cover the distance in seconds. Brendon turned the jeep off and pulled the keys out, undoing his seatbelt and slipping out with Ryan following. “I’ve been waiting for _hours_!” He shot a glare in Ryan’s direction. Ryan’s eyes held boredom; though they were hidden behind the tinted lens of the sunglasses Brendon had bought him. 

“Relax, Bill,” Brendon said as he reached into the jeep for the backpack. “I told you we would be back sometime today.” 

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” William marched right to Brendon and helped him yank the bag out. “You know I wouldn’t have called you if it wasn’t important.” He frowned. 

“He threw it into the waterfall.” Ryan supplied, rounding the car. William’s face went from pissed off to unbelieving, releasing the grip he had on the backpack so all the weight returned to Brendon. 

“ _That’s_ where you were?!” He nearly demanded, staring wide-eyed at Brendon. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Brendon answered, and Ryan noted traces of bitterness in his tone. Something in Ryan’s gut told him he should have kept his mouth shut, and he bit the inside of his lip. “What’s the big rush to get back, anyway?” 

William remained a little shocked, but took hold of the top of the backpack and helped Brendon pull it all the way out. “Go inside,” he said, setting it to the ground. “Ryan and I will take care of this.” Bill’s tone softened. 

“What’d Gabe do?” Brendon asked, eyebrow raised and face concerned. 

“Gabe didn’t do anything.” Bill rolled his eyes. “Just go inside.” 

“Why?” Brendon was skeptical. Ryan was curious. 

“It’s a surprise!” William half-yelled, irritated. “So get your ass in there and see what it is!” He looked ready to rip Brendon’s head off. 

Brendon laughed lightly and shook his head. “I’m just messing with you,” he said, dodging the arm his friend swung at him. Brendon made his way for the porch, looking back and warning, “I’ll skin you alive, if my house is destroyed,” as he climbed the steps. William flipped him off, waiting for Brendon to disappear inside then turning towards Ryan. 

“He seriously took you to the waterfall?” Bill asked, brown eyes huge again. 

“Yes?” Ryan didn’t know if he should be afraid or not. “Is that bad?” 

William scoffed. “Only a handful of people in all of Hawaii know how to find that waterfall.” He cocked a hip out to lean on the jeep, arms crossed. “It’s in the middle of a lot of jungle. Unless you know how exactly how to find it, you’ll only end up lost amongst the trees.” 

“Why don’t they just make a path?” Ryan asked, pushing his sunglasses to the top of his head. 

“Because.” William took a deep breath and let it go slowly. “Legend has it that the waterfall is magic. Like wish-granting magic.” Yeah, Ryan kind of already knew that. “I’m sure you already know that by now, though.” Ryan nodded. “More importantly, the waterfall is believed to house the spirit of a goddess of love. It’s said that if the water is calm and clear, your love is true.” 

Ryan felt nauseous. 

“Whether it’s true or not, no one will ever know,” Bill shrugged, “But like I said, very few people know how to get there. It’s like hidden treasure; those who know how to get there only take people they absolutely trust. No tourists and no one that would exploit it.” Yeah, Ryan felt really nauseous. “Brendon’s only ever taken two people there.” 

“Who?” Ryan asked, his voice almost a whisper. 

“Well, you,” William uncrossed his arms with one extending towards Ryan, “And, a few years ago, he took-“ 

“Shane!” William was cut off by a very loud, very excited squeal from inside the house. Or, maybe it was from the backyard. Ryan couldn’t exactly tell. 

“Shane.” Bill finished, less than amused about the interruption. “His first, and only ever real, boyfriend.” The nausea was overwhelming. No way did Ryan want to deal with an ex on the last day of his Hawaiian vacation. Especially if this whole legend of the waterfall thing was real. That meant that Brendon and Shane were—are—in love. 

“Don’t worry.” William sensed Ryan’s discomfort, laughing some. “Shane’s here on business. He and Brendon are just friends now.” Ryan nodded, absently, but it was hardly reassuring. “Come on.” William pushed off the jeep and bent down towards the backpack, struggling only a little to lift it up and over one shoulder. “It’s too hot out here.” He frowned, making his way towards the door. 

It took Ryan a moment to move, he didn’t want to face Brendon’s first boyfriend; not after the whole William/Travis/Gabe fiasco he’d experienced a mere two days ago. And Ryan still didn’t think that was solved. 

He didn’t want to end up in a similar situation. Especially since he’d only known Brendon for two weeks. There was no doubt in Ryan’s mind that Brendon would cast him aside for someone he’d known God knows how long. Someone Brendon loved first. 

“Coming?” William called from the porch, the backpack now on the ground by the door. Ryan sighed heavily and nodded, body feeling at least ten times heavier as he dragged himself inside. 

-~*~-~*~- 

“Thank you for saving this pathetic sack of air from a very lonely life,” was how Shane greeted Ryan; smiling wide and pulling him into a hug. “I was about ready to hire him an indefinite prostitute.” 

“Not all of us pay for it,” Brendon said, grinning, and slapped Shane playfully on the back of the head. “Let him go before you scare him away.” Shane released Ryan, Ryan migrating towards Brendon without realizing it. 

“Bill’s told me all about you. All bad, I swear.” Shane continued to grin, offering a hand to Ryan. “Shane Valdés.” 

“Ryan.” He politely accepted the hand. “Ryan Ross.” It was frightening to Ryan as he noticed how similar Shane and Brendon were. Not only in hyper attitude and exuberant amounts of energy, but they also looked a bit alike. Though Ryan refrained from thinking about that because then his mind wandered to very inappropriate places. 

The four made their way to the living room, Brendon following Shane close enough to be his shadow as the two went to one couch, leaving Ryan and William alone on the other. “So Ryan,” Shane started as soon as he was sitting down, “Bill tells me you’re from Vegas?” He was close to Brendon, too close for Ryan’s liking, leaning forward with his elbows just above his knees. It took William kicking Ryan’s foot to get him to realize that Shane was looking at him for an answer. 

“Uh…” Ryan had to think about what was even said to him. “Yeah.” His mouth was dry. 

“How do you like Hawaii?” Shane asked, and seriously; Ryan wanted to strangle him because he was tired of being asked that by everyone. Ryan should just wear a sign that answers it for him to spare him the breath. 

“Fine.” He answered with a tiny shrug. 

Shane nodded, still beaming. Brendon was beaming too; looking over to Shane about every five seconds. Yeah. Ryan really wanted to strangle Shane. He was ruining Ryan’s newly built perfect little world. 

“I’ve done some work in Vegas.” Shane informed them. “I had a lot of fun there, but it’s definitely not Hawaii.” He laughed. Brendon stared laughing, and then even William joined in. Ryan forced a smile. 

“What are you doing now?” Brendon asked his friend. It was like Shane was some incredibly famous person, some hero, and Brendon was the hyper fangirl that won a one-on-one session. Ryan dug his fingers into his legs. 

“Top secret, Brenny-bear.” Shane smirked, ruffling Brendon’s hair playfully. Ryan’s jaw clenched at the nickname, and he clawed his legs more at the physical contact. He wanted Shane gone. Now. “But I leave tonight so I can only stay a few more minutes.” Shane frowned, Brendon’s face too falling. 

Maybe there was a God after all. 

“I wish you told me you were coming back.” Brendon pouted. 

“You know how things work.” More laughter. “I often don’t even know until I’m on the plane. And I did try calling, but your phone said it was out of service or something.” Ryan smiled. He was now glad Brendon destroyed his phone. 

“Why do you have to leave so soon?” Brendon continued to whine, inching closer to Shane. Ryan looked away, catching William give him a questioning yet amused look. Ryan frowned at the other man and shifted his eyes towards the clock instead, mentally trying to convince time to move faster. 

Really, Shane wasn’t that bad. It was just taking up Ryan’s time with Brendon, and with less than twenty-four hours left, Ryan wasn’t too happy about that. 

“Stock footage,” Shane answered casually. “We’re doing actual filming in a month or so in Maui, I believe.” Instantly, Brendon lit up. Like a child in a candy store. 

“We definitely need to hang then!” He was practically bouncing. 

“We’ll see.” Shane laughed again. Ryan kind of wanted to rip his vocal chords out. “I’m lucky if I get time to eat most days.” He patted Brendon’s leg. His upper thigh, to be exact. Mentally, Ryan growled. If Shane kept this up, though, it might not stay only in his mind. 

“But when I’m done with this film, I’ll have a week or so free that I’m absolutely spending back here for once.” Shane’s face returned bubbly, further fueling Brendon’s excitement. It was easy to see how the two got along so well. If Ryan didn’t know otherwise, he’d probably have mistaken them for twins. Or family of some sort, at least. 

“You guys thirsty?” William interrupted the conversation, already starting to stand. “Because I am.” 

“A drink would be great,” Shane said, detaching his eyes from Brendon. 

“Sure.” Brendon nodded, sparing a glance for his friend. 

“Okay.” Bill nodded. “Come on, Ryan.” And before Ryan could even question why he was going, he was pulled from the couch and dragged to the kitchen. He was about to protest, but when he heard Shane and Brendon quickly resume their conversation, he decided he didn’t want to be in the living room anymore anyway. 

“You need to chill out,” Bill said with traces of laughter, releasing Ryan once they were in the kitchen. 

“What?” Ryan knew perfectly well what the other man meant, but he played dumb out of habit. It always worked with Pete, because, well, Pete was pretty dumb. He was smart, a lot smarter than anyone ever gave him credit for, but all that intelligence was so rarely used that it was just easier to say Pete was dumb.

“You know,” William replied, moving around the island towards the fridge. “You look ready to claw Shane’s eyes out for looking at Bren.” 

“No.” Ryan scoffed. He had a lot more in mind than that. “I’m just-“ 

“Jealous.” Bill finished for him, extracting some beers from the fridge. Ryan scoffed again, but yeah, that was pretty much it. “Deny it all you want,” he used a hip to push the door shut, “But I know when someone is jealous.” His eyes flicked towards the second floor briefly then back down to Ryan. 

“Fine.” Ryan gave in, leaning against the island. “Maybe I’m a _little_ jealous.” William snorted, setting the bottles down and opening a drawer to find an opener. “It’s my last real day with Brendon and-“ 

“And he hasn’t seen Shane in almost a year.” William cut him off. “Try to go without Spencer for a year, only talking to him for a few minutes a month, if you’re lucky, and tell me you wouldn’t be acting just like Bren is now.” Ryan opened his mouth to argue, but closed it and frowned. 

“I couldn’t,” Ryan muttered miserably in defeat. William hummed, locating the opener and popping the caps off in a one fluid motion; the air release ringing out. 

“You have nothing to be jealous of,” Bill said, offering one of the bottles over. Beer wasn’t really a drink Ryan preferred, but right now it’s all he really wanted. It was a depression kind of drink for him. Like ice cream is for a lot of women. “What Shane and Brendon had ended years ago, and neither is looking for it to come back.” 

“I’m pretty sure Brendon’s five seconds from throwing himself at Shane,” Ryan mumbled, rim of the bottle against his lips and eyes staring distantly out the window. 

“Nah.” Bill disagreed, leaning opposite Ryan. “Shane’s been with the same guy a few years now. Jack, I think his name is.” He drank a bit from his own bottle. “He’s one of the camera guys from what I’ve gathered.” 

“Well that’s great for him, but Brendon’s had me for what; two weeks?” Ryan sighed. “He could easily toss me aside still.” 

“I’m going to smack you over the head with this,” William said, actually rather serious sounding. “Have you not figured out that Brendon really cares about you? I don’t think I’ve seen him as happy as he’s been in the past two weeks since his grandparents were alive.” William snapped his fingers in front of Ryan’s face to force eye contact. 

“You know as well as I that Brendon would keep you forever if he could.” Ryan stared into the brown eyes across from him, finding no doubt in them at all. “He doesn’t want you to get on that plane tomorrow, just like I know you don’t, but life doesn’t work like we want.” 

“Did you get lost out there?” Shane called from the living room. 

William stood straight and grabbed the untouched bottles with one hand, his own beer in the other. “Stop being jealous over nothing and enjoy what little time you have left,” he said before heading towards the living room. 

Sighing, Ryan stood and followed William; Brendon giving him a happy smile at he took his seat on the opposite couch again. Shane began recounting what it was like to film in New Zealand a year or so ago, Ryan actually pretty interested. 

-~*~-~*~- 

True to his word, Shane didn’t stay much longer. And, regardless of how he tried to hide it, Ryan could tell that Brendon was pretty upset about Shane’s departing. Even though he smiled and spoke in the same light, upbeat voice, the softness and sparkle normally in his eyes was barely there. Ryan felt a little bad that they didn’t make it back earlier to give the two more time, but he blames William for that. 

If William had just told Ryan what the rush was in the first place, well, Ryan probably wouldn’t have had them come back at all. The fact that Shane was an ex just naturally put him pretty low on Ryan’s friend list. Ex’s are still competition; threats. 

It took about another hour before they were blessed with Gabe’s presence, the man stumbling down the stairs and into the living room where Ryan, Brendon and William were watching some movie on the television. _Fight Club_ , or something like that. Ryan really didn’t understand what was going on, but it had Brad Pitt and some mentally unbalanced loser who narrated the entire thing. 

Gabe didn’t say a word, either. He just went to where William was spread on the opposite couch and shoved at his shoulder until William sat up enough to let Gabe sit down with William’s head ending up in his lap. The four of them watched the movie, Ryan cursing the commercials because he wanted to know what came next, goddammit, when Gabe broke their silence with, “We should have a party.”

Ryan looked over to him, the slightly older man still fixed completely on the television screen, subconsciously petting William who rolled his eyes at the suggestion. “Your life is a party.” Brendon commented when nothing else was said. 

“We should celebrate our final night in Hawaii!” Gabe began to justify himself. Ryan felt Brendon’s muscles tighten a bit behind him but chose not to say anything because he knew why. And he was tense too. “Get all of our friends together; have some music going.” 

“You just want to get drunk,” William muttered. Gabe ignored him. 

“We could have it down by the water. Get some beach volleyball or crap going.” He continued. 

“No.” Brendon’s answer was simple but firm, exhaling warm air onto the back of Ryan’s neck and pulling him impossibly closer. Ryan was glad he said no. He didn’t want anyone or anything else interfering with the precious limited time he and Brendon had left together. 

“It would be tons of fun…” Gabe tried in a singsong voice. 

“No.” Brendon repeated. Ryan bit back a grin and refocused on the movie, catching Gabe’s pout in the corner of his eye. 

-~*~-~*~- 

Somehow, Gabe ended up getting his party. 

It started with Alex and Nate showing up. They, of course, wouldn’t be told to leave because of their close relationship with Brendon. The two let themselves in, said hello to everyone as they passed, and headed right for the backyard. Ryan sat up to throw a questioning look at the glass door, but Brendon forced him to lie down again, saying, “Don’t worry about it; they do this all the time,” right in his ear. 

Next came Spencer and Jon who, like Nate and Alex, invited themselves in. “Hey.” Spencer greeted Ryan with a smile, sitting on the floor with Jon sitting beside him. “What are we watching?” 

What happened after that all bunched together in Ryan’s mind. Gabe disappeared to get properly dressed then dragged William out back; Spencer and Jon disappearing moments later. Ryan decided to take the opportunity to go take a quick shower, and by the time he was done, the entirety of Brendon’s backyard was filled with people. 

Ryan didn’t recognize a single person in his view. Some were tanned, natives, but the majority looked like they were just visiting the island and happened to hear about a party. They already had red plastic cups, no doubt filled with alcohol, talking and dancing together in whatever space they could make. It seemed just like when Ryan would go to parties back in college; complete and utter chaos. 

“There you are!” Before Ryan could even figure out who was yelling at him over the music, they grabbed his arm and started pulling him through the ocean of bodies. People bumped into Ryan, a few drops of their drinks splashing onto him, the music growing louder the closer to the speakers they got. Ryan felt a little like he was in a mosh pit, only he could move, and didn’t have people landing on top of him. At least, not yet. 

It was when he broke through the crowd to the path leading down to the water that Ryan realized Spencer had a hold of him, guiding him down towards the small section of beach. “Spencer;” Ryan stumbled along behind his friend who already had a drink of his own. “Where are we going?” 

“There,” Spencer said, his cup-clad hand shooting out towards the water; some of the liquid splashing out. Ryan followed his hand to see that the people he did actually recognize were gathered together down below, Travis having showed up as well. Not that William knew he was back, and alive, Ryan figured the man was getting as much time in as he could with William before half of them returned to Vegas. 

Ryan managed to get his arm from Spencer’s grip, his friend well on his way to getting wasted already, and walked at a more stable pace towards the crowd. Gabe already looked ready to strangle Travis if he said one more word to William, trying to hide behind a bottle of what was most likely vodka. Travis was smiling, William was laughing, standing close to Travis, and Gabe was more than slightly angry. 

Brendon accepted Ryan instantly when he approached, throwing an arm around him and pulling him close. Very faint traces of alcohol lingered on the man, he no doubt had had a beer or two already, but it wasn't as sickening as Ryan had experienced before. "There you are!" Brendon merrily greeted Ryan, kissing his cheek as he wrapped his arms around him. "You smell good now," he mumbled, pressing his nose into Ryan's damp hair.

"Thanks?" Ryan really didn't know if that was a compliment just to compliment him, or as if Brendon was accusing him of smelling bad before. Brendon hummed, resting his chin on Ryan's shoulder. Ryan tipped his head a little away from Brendon who puffed little warm breaths onto his neck, watching instead what was going on with the bitter love triangle a few feet away. 

Travis and William seemed to be having the time of their life; still laughing at something Ryan probably couldn't even begin to guess at. When his eyes met Gabe's, the older man offered a small smile, lips being covered quickly by the rim of whatever he was drinking. It was something strong, Ryan could tell that, but he couldn't quite make out what it was. 

"We should go dance!" William suddenly exclaimed, face beaming and hysteric giggles dying away to merely nothing. "Who wants to go dance?!" He looked around to each of them, seeking a nod or some sign of interest. 

"I'll go dance with ya, Bilvy," Travis said after a few moments when no one seemed to jump at the idea. 

Almost immediately Gabe added, "Sure, why not," and took an especially large drink from the bottle before setting it down. William, ecstatic that he had takers, quickly grabbed both men's hands and started up the hill towards the crowd and source of music. 

"That's probably going to end badly..." Jon commented quietly from where he stood off to the side with Spencer; one arm loose around his boyfriend's waist with a beer in the other hand. 

"Yep." Spencer agreed with a small nod. Sadly, Ryan couldn't help but agree as well. 

Putting Travis and Gabe together, when they clearly don't get along, with the man that was the source of their bickering, with alcohol...it wasn't the greatest of mixes. 

"They'll be fine," Brendon said, standing straight and spinning Ryan around to face him. "It's a party. We celebrate, not worry." He smiled mischievously at Ryan, their lips meeting moments later.

"Ewwwww," Spencer whined from off to the side, a few little giggles following. Ryan half-assed flipped his friend off, enjoying his little make out session for a good five seconds before loud yelling suddenly carried down.

"Told you," Jon muttered with a hint of satisfaction. Ryan and Brendon broke apart, both looking up towards the hill only to find their vision blocked by dozens of bodies. "They didn't even last five minutes..." Jon looked vaguely smug, eyes and tone rather uninterested. 

"I'm going to kill them," Brendon said lowly. He moved around Ryan and started up the hill, Ryan watching him with mild confusion before looking over to Spencer who, unlike his boyfriend, seemed rather interested. 

"Come on," he said, looking at Ryan with a certain gleam in his eye that Ryan knew well. 

"Don't get in the middle of it," Jon warned but neither paid him much attention as they headed off after Brendon. The angry voices got louder the closer they got, half the crowd trying not to seem like they were paying attention while the other half full on stared. Ryan lost Spencer amongst the bodies, weaving through people in pursuit of Brendon and, well, the entire situation. 

He reached the root of it all just in time to watch a very pissed off Gabe slap an equally pissed off William hard enough to send him to the ground.

For a moment, it seemed like time had stopped. Everyone was frozen in place, still gripping their cups with eyes wide and jaws dropped. The music continued blasting but no one heard it, listening instead with selective hearing, dying to know what happened next. 

Gabe’s face went from angry to shocked regret immediately after his hand made contact with his boyfriend’s face. On the ground, William stared up with a similar expression; hand on his cheek and eyes glistening with tears. “Bill…” It was like as quiet as a whisper, but it was heard as clear as day. “I…I’m so sor-“ 

“No.” William cut Gabe off, eyes darkening and jaw clenching. He rubbed his cheek and bit his lip, fighting off the evident urge to cry. “Don’t you _dare_ act all innocent and sorry!” He narrowed his eyes. 

“Bill, I’m not acting!” Gabe insisted, tone actually sincere. “I would never intentionally hurt you!” He reached down to help William up, but the man smacked his hand away and scooted back a few feet. “Bill, babe-“ 

“Fuck you,” Bill hissed, cold and hard. “I have put up with a lot of your shit, Gabriel, because I love you, and I thought that you loved me back.” 

“I d-“ 

“But,” William continued, “I _will not_ put up with you physically abusing me!” Everyone was watching the scene with unblinking expressions, not a single noise being made. It was like a live soap opera unfolding before them. 

“William, I never meant to hurt you.” Gabe’s tone got more desperate, Ryan thinking maybe he might start crying. “I just;” he brought his hands up to his head, palms pressing into his forehead and fingers gripping his short curls. “I get so frustrated and so tired of you always caring more about _him_ ,” one hand shot towards Travis, who was standing off to the side yet still close to William, “than you do about us!” 

“And I’m tired of this fucking jealousy thing!” Bill snapped right back. Ryan could see a dark red mark appearing on his face where he was attacked. “I’ve told you time and time again that Travie’s my friend, but you’re the one that keeps trying to make it into something more!” William extended his arm towards Brendon who reached down to help him stand, William dusting himself off and take a few steps back towards Gabe. 

“I love you, Gabriel Saporta, and I always will.” He brought his wrist up to his mouth and used his teeth to undo a bracelet that was tied around it. “But I will not put up with you physically abusing me.” William took Gabe’s hand, the older man like a doll in William’s control, and laid the bracelet in Gabe’s hand; curling Gabe’s fingers around it. 

“I’m done.” 

It those two words that Ryan saw drain all emotion from Gabe’s face and his heart shatter in his eyes. “Bill-“ 

“Goodbye, Gabe,” William whispered, eyes shimmering with tears, lifting Gabe’s fist up and placing a soft kiss on his knuckles, then dropping it back down. “Take care of yourself.” William turned away, the crowd parting like the red sea to let him through as he headed for the water; Ryan just able to see him bringing his hands up to his face before disappearing into the shadows. 

“You always came first,” Travis said flatly to Gabe, shaking his head. “You were just too set on convictin’ him of shit he ain’t doin’ or thinkin’ to see that.” Travis left to follow William. 

Gabe watched them disappear, looking down to his hand after; fingers slowly uncurling to reveal the bracelet. He looked really upset, but mostly lost. There weren’t any tears in his eyes, and no signs of any either, as though the ducts had suddenly dried up. He just seemed lifeless to Ryan, staring at the bracelet. 

“You have five minutes to get your shit and get off my property,” Brendon said a few moments later, startling Ryan. Brendon face was angry but strangely relaxed, and his usually soft eyes were practically on fire. Gabe’s hand closed around the bracelet again as he looked up, eyebrows pulling together. 

“Where am I supposed to go?” he asked. “We leave tomorrow and I have no money.” 

“That’s not my problem.” Brendon replied and really, Ryan was taken back. He didn’t think Brendon could be so scarily harsh. Even considering the situation. “Five minutes, then I’m calling the police.” Brendon too headed off after William, heads following him then snapping back to Gabe. 

Still, no one moved otherwise. 

Gabe took a deep breath then exhaled it all at once, ignoring the eyes fixed on him as he turned and walked quickly towards the house. He yanked the glass back and slammed it behind him, a very clear yell of ‘fuck!’ ringing out from inside. And just like that, time stared up again. Everyone began to move, talking about what just happened for a minute or two before returning to their previous conversation. 

There was laughter, smiles, music, dancing, and drinks. It was as though the whole thing didn’t even happen. 

“Well,” Spencer sighed as he appeared beside Ryan, “This has certainly been an interesting night.” He looked at the house, lifting his drink to his mouth casually. “I’m actually surprised your boyfriend didn’t kill Gabe for touching William.” 

“Not now, Spence,” Ryan huffed with some annoyance. He was still processing what happened, and didn’t feel like dealing with his drunken friend who just kept on drinking. Ryan looked down towards the beach as people disbanded, people avoiding getting too close to the water, Ryan barely able to make out three figures near one of the torches. 

William had two people taking care of him at the moment. He didn’t need Ryan down there crowding him too. 

“I’ll talk to you later,” Ryan absently said, pushing past Spencer and making his way towards the house. While he had never attacked anyone, Ryan knew real well what it felt like to get dumped. Gabe needed someone to talk to too; even if it was mainly Gabe’s fault that things panned out that way. Everyone does really stupid things in their life; things that they regret. But we’re all just human. No one’s perfect. 

The house was quieter and almost empty except people that needed the bathroom, and a few who were making out against the walls. Ryan looked around briefly for Gabe, spotting a dark figure out on the pouch. He walked quickly through the house and out front, closing the door behind him for privacy. 

“Gabe?” He spoke quietly, not wanting to startle the man. 

Gabe was on the steps, elbows on his knees and face in his hands, curled up rather well. “Gabe?” Ryan tried again, lowering himself carefully to the steps to sit beside him. 

“Please.” Gabe was barely audible behind his hands. “I know I deserve it, but please don’t. Not now.” His voice was broken and weak, something that Ryan would never have associated with him. 

“I’m not here to yell at you.” Ryan frowned. “And yeah, you do deserve it, but you’ve gotten enough tonight.” Ryan reached a hand over and lightly touched the man’s shoulder, noticing the bracelet still in his hand. “I know what it’s like to be heartbroken. To be dumped by someone you love.” 

“But I’m sure it wasn’t your fault.” Gabe pulled away from Ryan. “I’ve never hit anyone before, Ryan. And I know I was never the greatest boyfriend, but I _never_ thought I’d do something so awful to him.” 

“I’m sure William-“ 

“ _Don’t_.” Gabe cut Ryan off, lifting his face to look at Ryan. He could barely make out the expression in the moonlight. “I know what I did, Ryan. I would take it all back if I could, but I can’t. I finally managed to completely drive William away and I know he’s never coming back so don’t waste your breath saying William understands or will forgive me or whatever the fuck else because we all know that’s just a bunch of bullshit.” He dropped his head against the porch railing. 

Ryan was silent after that. He didn’t know what to say to Gabe now. He knew the other man was right, that he fucked it up for good, but Ryan still wanted to try and help him feel a bit better about it. That’s what Spencer did for Ryan by forcing him to Hawaii. And while Ryan hated him for it at first, he was glad his stubborn friend made him do it now.   
Ryan felt better than he did in years; mentally, physically, and emotionally. 

“I’m sorry.” Gabe sighed heavily after a couple of minutes. “I know you’re trying to help. And really, you have no idea how much that means.” Ryan could tell there was at least a tiny smile on the man’s face as he spoke. “I know I can seem like a selfish asshole, I am, and it’s my own fault so many people hate me, but it feels nice not to have at least someone not wanting to kill me.” 

“Like I said,” Ryan looked out to the cars, “I’ve been exactly where you’ve been.” He leaned against the other railing. “The last thing you need right now is to have more people yelling at you and making you feel worse.” 

“Thanks.” Gabe sounded a bit more relaxed. 

Silence came over them, the music out back being the only disturbance to the nothingness, but that was fine with Ryan. He knew that sometimes silence was what was needed to feel better. And at least he was there for Gabe should the man want to talk more. They stayed like that until the porch light suddenly snapped on, the door opening and Alex stepping out onto the porch. 

“Bren’s looking for you,” Alex said with a small smile to Ryan. 

“He can wait.” Ryan shrugged, a little upset with Brendon for banishing Gabe away when Gabe needed anything but to be alone. 

Gabe looked at Ryan, sad smile on his lips, subconsciously playing with the bracelet in his hands. “Thanks, Ryan, but don’t let me ruin your relationship too.” Ryan could only frown. “It’s your last night here. Don’t waste it sitting here with me.” 

“I’ll handle this.” Alex commented, Ryan looking back up to him. “Gabe and I go way back. This isn’t the first time he’s gotten himself into a shitty situation.” 

“Since we were kids.” Gabe humorously laughed, staring out into the distance. Ryan frowned harder. It seemed like everyone was connected to each other around here. “Until he moved here to be with his precious Nate, at least.” 

“And I’ve been happy ever since.” Alex answered, starting down the steps between the two. “Come on, before Bren really does call the cops.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. “And before Nate realizes I’m not in the bathroom.” 

Gabe nodded, inhaling deeply and rubbing his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He looked a little hopefully to Ryan. 

“Yeah.” Ryan nodded, watching Gabe stand and tower over him. “Night.” 

“See ya.” Gabe gave a little wave then followed Alex towards one of the many cars. 

Ryan sat there a few moments after the two left, sighing heavily. He was already tired and had a rather strong headache. Part of him wished he was at the hotel, alone in his room, spread out on the bed. The ‘party’ was too much excitement for Ryan’s liking. 

Pulling himself to his feet, Ryan headed back inside the house to go find Brendon. Fortunately, Brendon had just come inside as well, preventing Ryan from having to go into the abyss out back. “There you are,” Brendon said with what sounded like relief upon spotting Ryan. 

“Sorry,” Ryan mumbled, letting Brendon pull him into a hug. “It was all a bit much. I need some peace.” He purposely didn’t tell Brendon he was with Gabe. The man was gone now so Brendon didn’t need to know. 

“I could use some myself,” Brendon said, forehead dropping down to Ryan’s shoulder. Instinctively, Ryan kissed Brendon’s head and leaned his on top of Brendon’s. “Bill’s going crazy, Travis is trying to keep him from drowning himself, and I just want all these people gone.” Brendon whined. 

“William’s trying to drown himself?” Ryan asked with concern. 

“Don’t worry,” Brendon mumbled. “Travis will take care of him.” It felt like suddenly all of Brendon’s weight was on Ryan. Dead weight. “I want to be back in the woods.” Ryan hummed, agreeing. 

“How about your bedroom?” Ryan suggested instead. Brendon hummed, considering, then pulled back from Ryan and took his hand. 

“As long as I have you, I’m happy,” he said, leading Ryan towards the stairs. 

With each step, Ryan felt his chest get heavier. 

-~*~-~*~- 

They had only been alone in the bedroom, curled up on the bed, for about an hour before someone started knocking heavily on the door. At first Brendon chose to ignore them, gripping Ryan tighter and pressing his face into the back of Ryan’s shoulder, but when the knocking continued, he groaned and let go to answer it. “This better be good,” Brendon grumbled, slipping off the bed. 

Ryan sat up and swung his legs over the edge. Brendon pulled the door back and asked, “What?” with annoyance. Travis and William were in the doorway. Travis supporting, pretty much holding, William, as it was. 

“Hi Brenny!” William giggled, words slurring. “What’re you doin’ ‘ere?” 

“I told you to watch him, and you got him piss drunk?” Brendon looked to Travis. 

“I thought a drink ‘r two might help him relax.” Travis defended. “He ended up downin’ a couple bottles.” 

“A couple of bottles of what?” Brendon asked with irritation, leaning to the side to doge William’s hand as the man reached out for his hair. “I can smell the alcohol on him!” 

“S m’new perfume!” William said with happy seriousness, laughing after. “D’you like it, Brenny?” 

“I tried t’stop him, honestly.” Travis gave an apologetic look. “Boy can down it quick, though.” 

“Well get him to lie down.” Brendon sighed. “You know where his room is.” 

“I already tried,” Travis said before Brendon got the door shut. “Won’t go near it.” 

And just like that, William’s face completely flipped and he abandoned Travis to wrap himself around Brendon. “He hit me.” William’s speech cleaned up, speaking into Brendon’s shirt. Ryan could hardly hear him, shifting on the bed. “He’s never hit me.” 

“See?” Travis frowned, leaning against the doorway. “S’been like this for the past hour.” 

“Don’t make me go there.” Bill pleaded with Brendon, wobbling a bit and causing Brendon to stumble. “I’m scared, Brenny.” 

With another heavy sigh, Brendon hugged his friend for a moment then managed to peel him off to hand him back to Travis. “Stay in here tonight,” he said, rubbing his face. “You take the bed, we’ll take the hammock.” Ryan got a little upset at that because Brendon didn’t even ask if Ryan wanted to be booted to the hammock, but just looking at how truly terrified William was kept him silent. The man was now reattached to Travis, face bruising where he was hit. 

“He’s your responsibility, though.” Brendon stepped aside to let the pair in, locking the door behind them. “You can deal with him drunk right now, and you can deal with him hungover tomorrow.” 

“I take it he hasn’t gotten any better with alcohol?” Travis dragged William towards the bed, Ryan standing as Travis pushed the drunken man down to the mattress. 

William started laughing, muttering, “Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy,” as he bounced lightly on the mattress. 

“Nope.” Brendon patted Travis’ shoulder. “He’ll be up most of the night, and he’ll be one hell of a bitch in the morning.” The smirk on Brendon’s face was cynically amusing. 

“Great,” Travis sighed with a frown, the three of them watching William bounce himself on the bed. 

“Have fun.” Brendon smiled, taking Ryan’s hand and tugging him out onto the balcony; pulling the doors shut. 

The music out back got a little louder once they were out in the open air, but it wasn’t as bad as being in the backyard. 

“I doubt we’ll be getting much sleep tonight,” Brendon said with an apologetic tone. “A drunk William is a very talkative, very childish William.” He got onto the hammock; Ryan following once Brendon was settled. “We’ll be lucky if Travis manages to get him to lie down within the next hour,” Brendon said as Ryan settled in between Brendon’s legs, lying back. 

Ryan had a feeling William wouldn’t be the reason they wouldn’t be getting much, if any sleep, though.


	15. Day Fourteen

**Day Fourteen**

Neither Ryan nor Brendon got any sleep that night, even after the party died down in the early hours of the morning as people either left or passed out somewhere downstairs. The two men remained in the hammock on the balcony. Ryan laid back against Brendon and stared blankly into the sky, watching the stars gradually disappear when the sun began to rise up. He was tired, eyes heavy and trying to shut to get sleep, but Ryan easily fought the urge off. He wanted to savor every moment he could.

Brendon’s grip remained secure too. His arms were around Ryan’s waist with their fingers laced, and his legs lined perfectly along Ryan’s as the hammock’s fabric cocooned them. His head was tilted towards Ryan’s as he too stared into the sky, watching night turn into day, with every vanishing star making his chest get tighter. Time was slipping away too fast. Soon he would have to let Ryan go; probably forever.

Knowing that soon he’d have to leave the hammock to pack, that soon he’d have to get on a plane and travel however many miles back to Vegas to pick up the life he left behind, gave Ryan that same dead weight feeling in his chest. Of course he didn’t want to leave Hawaii, to leave Brendon, but he had to. He had an apartment and a job to go back to. He had obligations and responsibilities. He had to think of what to say to his coworkers because clearly he wasn’t married, and he definitely wasn’t away on a honeymoon. 

Ryan was, he decided, on a life journey, instead. Sure, most people’s life journey’s take them to third world countries and exotic locations, but Ryan’s was to Hawaii. His journey led him to Brendon; the man, who in about two weeks, managed to change his life. You don’t have to go far to find the person you’re meant to be with. In time, it’ll happen; your paths will just cross. And when it happens, you can fight and deny it all you want, but deep down you’ll know that only they can fill that void that’s been gnawing away at your heart and soul.

Brendon filled Ryan’s void. Ryan filled Brendon’s.

Sadly, the same barriers held true for Brendon. He couldn’t leave Hawaii for a multitude of reasons. He had the house his grandparents left him, a job, Mia, friends, and so many other things that linked together to make his life. Brendon couldn't just give that all up; and Ryan could never ask him to. Plus, Brendon despised Vegas greatly. He would never be truly happy there, no matter how much he tried to fake it for Ryan’s sake.

Sometimes, no matter how much it’s meant to be, it can’t.

Though he knew it wouldn’t work, Ryan figured if he didn’t think about leaving, it wouldn’t happen. This wasn’t his fantasy world though. Everything didn’t bend to his whims and wants. This was reality, and it was harsh. No matter how hard Ryan tried, he couldn’t stop time from ticking by. He couldn’t stop the sun from rising and he couldn’t stop the plane from going to Vegas. Well, he could, if he really tried, but that would most likely land him in jail. Ryan didn’t have to be on the plane, but at the same time, he did. 

He couldn’t exactly explain it. 

It didn’t take long for Ryan’s stomach to let him know he was hungry. It was another thing that Ryan easily ignored, however, because he had more important thing to focus on than eating. Like Brendon. 

Sure, he could come back to Hawaii, but he had no idea when. He couldn’t just leave whenever he wanted. He would have to request time off and hope he got it. Then there was the whole money situation. Brendon would no doubt pay for Ryan, but it wouldn’t feel right. Ryan didn’t want Brendon to always have to pay for things. Ryan’s budget wasn’t that mobile, but he got by.

Then there was the fact that Brendon might move on. He may love Ryan, as Ryan him, but he had needs too. Needs that everyone experienced at one point or another. The need to be touched and held, the need to feel comforted and wanted, the need to talk endlessly for hours about absolutely nothing just to get it out. All things that Ryan really couldn’t give him from Vegas, except maybe the last one; if Ryan could afford the long-distance time.

He couldn’t ask Brendon to wait for him to be able to return, whenever that may be, and he couldn’t guarantee he’d be able to wait for Brendon either. Ryan loved to think he would, but, again, this was reality, and chances of that happening were slim. What he could guarantee was that he would always love Brendon.

One thing that Ryan knew for sure too was that when he retired, it would definitely be to Hawaii. Even if Brendon moved on.

“It’s getting late,” Brendon said; voice flat and quiet. He made no effort to release Ryan though, and Ryan made no attempt to leave. It was just pointing out the fact that it was indeed getting later. Something they both knew, but avoided anyway. Ryan licked his dry lips and listened to the sounds around him; the birds, the ocean, everything. All sounds that he had grown accustom to. All sounds he wouldn’t hear after today. 

Eventually though, it got to the point where both men knew they couldn't stay out by themselves on the balcony any longer. The day was only getting later, and Ryan still had to pack everything; having put it off to avoid the reality that he was leaving. But there was no more running away from it. Ryan's flight left at about ten thirty, and it was already about eight or so. 

"I have to pee," Brendon mumbled, forcing Ryan to realize the end was there. He sighed miserably and sat up, Brendon releasing his grip on Ryan then helping him off the moving hammock. In turn, Ryan assisted Brendon in getting off, both stretching their muscles after spending hours motionless. 

It was obvious to Ryan that Brendon wasn't himself. He didn't grab Ryan's hand, but rather just headed right for the door and pulled it open. He didn't say a word to Ryan as he disappeared into the house, leaving Ryan alone on the balcony. Ryan understood why Brendon was upset, he felt it too, but he didn't like the fact that Brendon was practically ignoring him now. They didn't have to talk, but some kind of acknowledgment would be nice.

Heavily exhaling, Ryan followed him inside, shutting the door behind him. The bathroom door was shut, naturally, so Ryan decided now was as good a time as any to pack his belongings up. In passing, Ryan saw William and Travis asleep on the bed, still clothed and bedding everywhere. William was using Travis' chest as a pillow, curled up against the man with one hand in front of his face and the other beneath him. Travis had one arm around William's shoulders, he probably had to hold the drunk man down to get him to sleep, with his other hand tangled in William's hair.

The sight made Ryan frown. He had nothing against Travis, and he was barely familiar with the complicated situation, but Ryan believed William and Gabe would have been happy together. That they would have worked out their differences and been just fine if Travis hadn't shown up and resurfaced thoughts and feelings in William that had been laid to rest. Especially seeing how upset Gabe was the previous night. 

Ryan continued on towards the dresser, grabbing his suitcase and opening it. At that moment Brendon came out, glancing at Ryan and face saddening more. They kept eye contact for a few moments before Brendon quietly said, "I'm going to see who's still here."

"Okay.' Ryan frowned; Brendon nodding and walking around him to the door. It felt like a knife was being slowly shoved into Ryan's heart. He almost wanted to throw up as he pulled the first drawer open to locate his clothes and lay them into the suitcase.

In a way, it felt like Pete all over again; that, one way or another, Ryan was being abandoned by someone he loved. Ryan's past two weeks in Hawaii were amazing, but it was suddenly as though it was all just a dream. The trip was soon just to be a bunch of memories any way. Though today was one that Ryan didn't want to remember. 

Packing seemed to take hours; Ryan not realizing the tears as they slid down his cheeks, or the way his hands wouldn't stop shaking. 

**■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□**

By the time Ryan made it downstairs, showered and everything packed upstairs, the house was emptied of the random partiers that had crashed. Only Brendon's close friends remained to help him clean; reorganizing furniture and picking up discarded trash. In the past, Ryan always had the joy of cleaning. Usually alone.

Alex, to no surprise, was making something for them to eat, while Nate worked on filling the dishwasher with dirty dishes. Alex offered a sad smile in greeting to Ryan as he passed, making his way to the living room where he found Spencer and Jon tidying up. "Shouldn't you guys be getting ready to go?" Ryan asked, glancing around momentarily for Brendon.

"We're leaving soon," Jon said, sliding a couch back to its proper position once Spencer had gathered everything from beneath it.

"We packed yesterday." Spencer supplied as he stood with the edge of a large trash bag in his hand. "You all set?" His soft blue eyes locked with Ryan's, silently asking a million questions Ryan couldn't begin to answer.

"My bags are upstairs." Ryan nodded, his mouth dry and stale. "Do you need any help?" he asked, going to help Spencer who stopped him with the start of one of his infamous bitchfaces. 

"We're all set." Jon verbalized his boyfriend's reaction. 

"Brendon's out back." Spencer released the bag to grab Ryan's shoulders and turn him towards the back door. "Go to him." He gave Ryan a little shove. "You've got less than two hours left; don't fuck them up."

Ryan almost couldn't move, thinking that Brendon didn't want him since he had shoved Ryan away earlier. Still, somehow he ended up out back, either on his own or with Spencer's assistance, spotting Brendon down by the beach with a bag of his own, collecting trash. Ryan closed the door and headed down the path, unconcerned that he was barefoot, to offer assistance to Brendon instead.

"Need help?" he called out, reaching the sand. Brendon glanced towards them, then around, shoulders falling in what seemed like defeat.

"Yeah." he sighed out. "Just put it all in here." Brendon lifted the bag an inch or two to emphasize it. Ryan nodded and began picking up the discarded trash, going to Brendon once his hands were full. He dropped it all into the bag, waiting a second or two for some sort of acknowledgement before doing it all over again.

After about six or seven trips, Ryan got frustrated and decided he had had enough of getting ignored. "So this is it, huh?" He stood a few feet from Brendon, arms crossed. "You're just going to ignore me for the next hour and a half? Pretend that the past ten days or whatever never happened?"

Brendon didn't say anything or even look up, reaching for a cup a few inches away.

"I'm just supposed to go back to Vegas and forget every meeting you and kissing you and touching you and everything?! Try to tell myself you're just some dream or fling that doesn't mean a goddamn thing?!" 

"You don't get it!" Brendon suddenly burst, throwing the bag and turning to Ryan with tear-filled eyes. "I don't want you to leave, Ryan! I don't want to lose the best thing that's happened to me!" His hands were gripped into fists, the knuckles whitening. "But there's not a goddamn thing I can do about that, and it sucks!" A tear or two escaped.

Ryan's arms gradually fell down to his sides, speechless.

"I always knew you were too good to be true; from the moment I met you." Brendon's voice quieted dramatically. "I thought by lying to myself, saying that you could be happy here with me, I could make you stay." He released his fists to wipe his eyes. "But everyone I love always leaves me." Brendon whispered the sentence so quietly that Ryan barely caught it. 

Trying not to start crying himself, Ryan closed the distance between them and put his arms around Brendon's shoulders. It took a moment for Brendon to respond, pressing his face into Ryan's shoulder and putting his arms around Ryan's body. "I'd stay here with you forever if I could," he said sadly into Brendon's hair. "But it's not that easy; it never is." 

Warm tears soaked into Ryan's shirt. "We can't change the fact that I have to leave for Vegas soon. But we still have now, Bren." He shut his eyes. "Please don't push me out now. I can't go through another rejection so soon."

Brendon sniffled and pulled back, forcing Ryan to release him. Again he wiped his eyes, reaching around his neck and fumbling for a moment until he pulled his necklace off. "Wherever you go, and whatever you do," Brendon reached forward to wrap the necklace around Ryan, "You'll have my love with you." He clasped it together.

"Brendon..." Ryan almost couldn't breathe, one hand going to his neck. "This...I..."

"My father gave my mother this necklace as a symbol of his love for her." Brendon smiled, taking Ryan's hand and moving it over to the little shell on the front. "Now I'm giving it to you as a symbol of my love for you."

Unable to help himself, tears started down Ryan's cheeks. No one had ever done something so beautiful for him before. No one had loved him so much before. His love with Brendon was that rare, once in a lifetime, true love that will always be there no matter how many years go by. 

"As long as you have this necklace, you'll have my love. And even if you decide not to wear it, I'll still love you." Brendon brought Ryan's hand to his mouth and kissed the back gently. "Always and forever."

"I'm never taking it off." Ryan shook his head, other hand coming to his throat now. "Not for anyone or anything." he swore, determined and absolute. No matter what, that necklace was never coming off. 

"I love you, Ryan," Brendon said. Ryan pulled his hand from Brendon then wrapped his arms around Brendon's neck, crashing their lips together; tears mixing into their kiss. Ryan stayed there until his lungs literally felt ready to collapse if he waited any longer.

He broke it and leaned his forehead against Brendon's, mumbling, "I love you too."

**■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□**

When Alex yelled at them that breakfast was ready, and that they better get their asses inside or so help him God because he spent forever slaving over a hot stove for them, Ryan and Brendon made their way back to the house; hand-in-hand like it was meant to be.

The house was cleaned up now, Spencer and Jon gone by the looks of it, with Travis and William awake and downstairs. William was on one of the stools, face pressing into the counter with his hair splayed everywhere around him. Travis sat beside him, looking rather exhausted, one supporting his head up with the other lazily rubbing William's back. 

Ryan and Brendon sat down, Alex serving food, reminding Ryan how hungry he was. "Let's go, princess." Alex addressed William. "Sit up and eat."

"Fuck you," Bill groaned miserably into the tile. "And don't be so loud."

Nate purposely slammed the dishwasher shut, causing William to groan louder while Nate, and even Alex, fought off a grin. Ryan decided to eat the pancakes and everything in front of him rather than pay much attention to everyone else.

However, William made ignoring them a little hard. "My head, is fucking, killing me." he snapped; face lifted only enough to talk. "I had a fucking shitty night, so fuck off, or I'll castrate you all!"

"You got yourself drunk," Alex responded, taking his own seat. "So the headache is your own fault." William reached blindly around, managing to find a fork, and threw it in Alex's general direction. 

"I thought I told you to deal with him this morning." Brendon addressed Travis who was falling asleep.

"I did," he mumbled. "Got kicked, bitched at, 'n smacked with a pillow. Carried him here." 

"I'm going back to bed." Bill whined, sitting up. Ryan noticed how incredibly tired he looked, eyes red and worn, and wondered just how much sleep the pair actually got. And how much he drank. 

"No you're not." Brendon stuck his arm out to prevent William from moving. "Alex is right; you got yourself drunk. You're not going to bitch everyone out all day." William scowled at him. 

"Our flight is leaving soon," Ryan quietly told William who glared in Ryan's direction now. 

"I'm not going back," he said flatly. "Especially not on the same plane as _him_." 

"You're stayin' here?" Travis woke up more.

"I'm not going back to Gabriel." William crossed his arms.

"Fine." Brendon shrugged. "But you're telling Gabe that you're staying. You owe him that." 

"I don't owe him shit!" Bill snapped, appalled. "He fucking hit me!"

"And I'm not condoning that!" Brendon replied. "But you're not innocent in all of this either." William's eyes widened a little. "All three of you provoked each other to create this mess. You don't want to go back to Vegas? Fine. You know you're always welcome here. But you are at least telling Gabe that you're staying."

"You're supposed to be my friend!" he continued angrily. "I can't believe-" William stopped short, quickly getting to his feet and sliding around the counter to puke into the sink. A few times.

Suddenly, Ryan wasn't so hungry anymore.

When William was done, he ran the water and wiped his mouth, heading back to his seat where Brendon handed him a napkin. "Go upstairs, get cleaned up, and take something for your head. You have until ten to be ready to go." 

Travis got off his seat and went to help William, only to be shoved away. "No," Bill said, wiping his mouth a few times; debating if he was going to start throwing up more. "This is your fault too."

"I just want t'help." Travis frowned.

"I don't want your help, Travis!" Bill got angry again. "Your help split me and Gabe up. So fuck you too! I don't want your help, your advice, or anything to do with you!" He stood, wobbling a bit. "Just leave me alone." 

"Go home, Travis." Brendon calmly responded, taking hold of William before he fell. "Get some sleep; you've got plenty to deal with on your own."

"I'm worried 'bout-"

"Everyone's always worried about me!" William threw his arms out, nearly smacking Brendon and Travis. "Poor, pathetic, useless William needs everyone's worry because he's stupid and irresponsible and-"

"Shut. Up." Brendon cut him off, slight anger in his voice. "No one wants to listen to you bitch and whine." He forced William to look at him. "You're not the only one miserable today. You are hungover, hurting, and overtired. Go upstairs and take a shower and we'll deal with all of this later."

William's eyes flicked to Ryan then back to Brendon, face relaxing some and nodding before making his way to the stairs. 

Once the door upstairs shut, Brendon sighed and began to clean up. "Go home, Travis." He repeated since the man was still there. "You need to stay away from Bill for a few days."

"But-"

"I mean it." Brendon looked at him, eyes hard and warning. "You and Gabe are probably the most important people in his life, and you both just fucked him over. He needs space and time to sort everything out and decide what he wants to do next."

"What'd I do?" Travis' face was a mix of anger and confusion.

"For one, you let him believe you were dead for awhile." Brendon carried the dishes to the sink. Nate slipped from his stool and went to Brendon, telling him he'd clean up, a bit uncomfortable in the situation but wanting to help. "Two," Brendon faced Travis, "These past couple of days have been hell. You know very well just how fragile he really is, and still you let him shatter." 

Alex silently helped Nate, also uncomfortable. "The other day you fought with Gabe," Brendon continued. "You may not have started it, but you helped fuel it. You and I don't like Gabe, but William loves him, and it's our job to make sure we support that as long as William is happy."

Ryan subconsciously started playing with the necklace as he listened.

"When William got upset, you were right there. All day. Yesterday, he was practically hanging all over you. Last night, you were there when he was a mess again." Brendon stared Travis down. "William still loves you, Travis, just like you do him. What did you expect to happen if you let him do whatever he wants around you? He probably doesn't realize it, but he flirts with you; and you let him. _That's_ what angers Gabe."

"He doesn't flirt with me." Travis scoffed. "Gabe doesn't want him to talk to me!"

"And right now, I don't want you to talk to him either." Brendon himself looked worn. "Believe me. You really need to give him space right now before something happens that you'll both regret. When he's ready, he'll come to you. Until then, back off." 

Travis glared at Brendon a few moments. "I hope you're right," he said, shaking his head. "I almost lost him once, and it aint' fuckin' happnenin' again!" He started walking backwards. "You don't know him as well as you think you do, Urie." Travis coldly stated before disappearing; the front door slamming after.

"You need anything else?" Alex asked, everything taken care of and cleaned.

Brendon relaxed a bit and smiled, shaking his head and dropping his arms. "No," he said. "Thanks guys. For everything."

"No problem." Nate grinned. "Now you owe us." Alex slapped his head lightly and Brendon laughed. 

"We're going to head home, then," Alex said, taking Nate by the arm. "See you later?" Brendon nodded.

"Bye," Ryan said, Alex stopping by him.

"It was great having you around." Alex let go of Nate and hugged Ryan. "You helped him more than you'll ever know," he said privately to Ryan; just above a whisper. Ryan hesitantly hugged him back, confused. "Take care." Alex let go of him, still smiling. "We better hear from you too!" He warned, pointing a finger at Ryan.

"I'll try." Ryan gave a semi-forced laugh.

"See you," Nate said, patting Ryan's shoulder. "Don't get into too much trouble in Vegas." He smirked, following Alex.

When they too had gone, Brendon relaxed even more, eyes fixed on Ryan. "One last jam session?" he asked, rounding the island to get back to Ryan. Nodding, Ryan got off the stool and let Brendon take his hand to lead him to the music room at the end of the hall.

**■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□**

Ten came all too quickly.

As it turned out, Spencer and Jon came back about five to ten with the car since it obviously had to be returned; Gabe being with them. His belongings had been packed earlier by William - or, well, William chucked them from the bedroom and eventually shoved them all into the two suitcases after some yelling on Brendon's behalf that he didn't want his house a mess again. Gabe's bags, along with Ryan's, sat waiting on the porch to go. Gabe had probably twice as much stuff, yet it felt lighter to Ryan than his own did. 

Brendon practically dragged William, kicking and screaming (really just whining and bitching), out to the porch where they all gathered to confront Gabe. The moment the two were in the same area the air grew tense; Ryan and Spencer pretending to be uninterested yet watching like hawks to see what would happen. Based on the morning, Ryan half expected William to attack Gabe and claw his eyes out, but the man stood still and miserable on the porch with Gabe mirroring his position a few feet from the car.

"How we all gonna fit?" Gabe broke the awkward silence after a few moments. "There are five seats and six people." He observed.

"Five people." William corrected before anyone else could answer. "I'm staying here."

Gabe scoffed, lifting an eyebrow in doubt. "You realize our plane leaves in about thirty minutes, right?"

"No, _your_ plane leaves in thirty minutes." Bill crossed his arms, staring his ex down. " _I'm_ staying here. In Hawaii." 

Gabe's attitude changed to one of confusion. "What?" His voice was faint; forehead wrinkled. 

"You heard me." Ryan could tell William was struggling to keep his composure. "I'm not going back to Vegas. I'm going to stay here in Hawaii with Brendon." Ryan looked up to the sky, watching birds, but continued listening intently. "Indefinitely." 

"To be with Travis." Gabe huffed.

"Travis," Bill's voice grew angry, "Has nothing to do with this." he bit out. Ryan wanted to smack Gabe for even going there, dropping his gaze to Brendon who looked equally mad about where the conversation was going. "My decision to stay here is because of you, Gabriel." William took a few steps forward. "I have been miserable with you for awhile now. Last night was my final straw. I can put up with a lot, but I will not put up with someone hitting me."

"I've told you it was an accident and that I never meant to hurt you!" Gabe too started getting angry. 

"Accident or not, you did it. How am I supposed to know you won't do it again in the future? That next time it won't just be a slap to the face but something worse?" He walked to the edge of the porch, away from the rest of them. "I can't trust you anymore, Gabe, and I can't have a relationship where I don't have trust." 

"But fuckin' McCoy disappears for years and suddenly reappears and all is fuckin' forgiven!" Gabe pressed on. 

"Will you leave Travis out of this?!" William snapped. "He is just as much as fault as you are in this, and for your information, I'm pissed at him right now too!" He uncrossed his arms to grab a hold of the railing. "But Travis isn't the one I've been dating for the past seven or so years! He isn't the one I've worried about night after night about ending up in a hospital, or god forbid the morgue, getting so drunk he doesn't even remember where he lives!"

Gabe started to look guilty, taking a step back as William moved to the top step. "Travis isn't the one I've spent those years cooking for or cleaning up after or making love with!" Bill's voice was getting heavier. "He isn't the one that take care of me when I was so sick I could barely move! He wasn't the one that would send me roses for no reason other than to say he loves me!" 

William started down the steps until he was right in front of Gabe. "Travis wasn't who I thought I would marry or have a family with or grow old and die with, Gabe!" He pointed to the other man. " _You_ were!" The words were louder than the rest of his speech. "So stop making this about Travis when it's only about me and you!" William gave a slight shove to which the man didn't respond. 

"I gave up everything to be with you, Gabriel, because I thought you were the one. I thought you were the person that I would always be happy with, through thick and thin, and who I could always count on to be there for me in the end." The anger was morphing rapidly into a deep pain. "Yeah, I have Brendon. He's practically my brother. And before he disappeared, I had Travis, who I had a relationship with but in the end was just another close friend." 

He took one more step. "But you were my boyfriend; my lover. And above all, I counted on you. Even when you chose to spend endless hours drinking. Even when you'd fuck some random guy you met that night in the club. Even when I had no idea where you were or if you were okay. No matter what, you _always_ came first, Gabe."

William sniffled, tucking some of his hair aside. "I honestly believed we could have had the perfect life together. I could deal with the drinking and the occasional random fuck, because in the end you always came back to me, and I could even put up with going out all hours of the night to get you from some club or bar because at least I knew you were okay." He half-hugged himself. "But I can't take this jealousy shit any longer. I can't give up a friend, because for whatever reason, you feel threatened about my love for you." Bill looked down. "And I can't take any physical abuse, accident or not, because now I'm afraid of you." 

That last part visibly struck Gabe, making him step back until he hit the car. The look in his eyes was a mix of shock and disgust; a disgust of himself. William admitting that he was afraid of Gabe shocked them all. 

"I love you, _so much_ , Gabe, and I always will," he looked back up at the older man, "But I have to do what's best for me. And right now, staying here in Hawaii, away from you, is what's best for me." His voice was a dead giveaway of how hard it was for him to say that; how emotionally draining the whole thing was on him. 

Gabe stared at him, the sunlight flickering in his eyes as tears waited to be released, chewing on his lip. "Can..." Gabe seemed afraid to talk. "Can you...ever forgive me?" he asked in a chilling whisper that Ryan barely heard from where he played with the railing to look like he wasn't morbidly interested. 

"Maybe," William said with a hopeful tone. "With time." He nodded slowly.

"And will we...ever...you know?" Gabe swallowed hard. 

William didn't say anything; just looked away and shook his head. In turn Gabe took a deep breath and shakily released it, nodding and sucking his lips in. They would never be together like that again. It almost had Ryan crying, really. He was upset for the two men, but also mentally placed him and Brendon and in their shoes.

Would they ever be something again after today?

"Well;" Gabe took another deep breath. "We have to go if we're going to make our flight." He looked past William and up to the other three. "Is my stuff ready or...?" 

"It's right here," Brendon answered quietly. 

"Gabe;" William looked up, voice a bit desperate. "Please don't hate me for this." he nearly begged, stepping closer. "I don't want to completely lose you! We can still be friends!"

"So I can be reminded of how fucking bad I hurt right now?" Gabe looked at him, unbelieving. "To see you or hear your voice and know I can't ever touch you again or hold you when you're sick or sad or kiss you because your lips are the sweetest things I've ever tasted?" He was fighting off tears. "Fuck you." His voice was shaky. 

"Please don't do this." William continued pleading. "I can't completely lose you...You'll find someone else to hold and kiss and you'll be happy with, in time!" He brought his hands to his face, probably to wipe away tears.

Gabe took a step closer this time, getting in William's face, making the younger man tense. "But I will _never_ love them like I love you," he said, cold and hard, "And that's not fair to them." William's shoulders shook a little as he began to lose a battle with the urge to cry. "I hope you're happy and that one day you'll find someone that will give you everything I clearly didn't, because you deserve nothing short of the best. But I can guarantee you this;" He drew back, grabbing the handle of the car door.

"If I _ever_ see you again," Gabe pulled open the door, "It'll be too fucking soon." Before William could answer, Gabe climbed inside and slammed the door shut; making all four on the porch wince at the thunderous sound. William stood still, staring at the tinted windows, barely breathing.

"Bill-" Brendon started, but the man spun around and shot a finger towards him; eyes red and running, very angry. 

"Don't say, a fucking word!" he snapped bitterly. "I _told_ you I didn't want to talk to him because I _knew_ this would happen!" Bill seemed like he was on the edge of a complete breakdown, and it scared Ryan a little. "Now he doesn't ever want to see or talk to me again and I-I just-" He grabbed his head and made a frustrated noise. "Fuck it!" Bill yelled, wiping his eyes then storming off to the side, rounding the house.

Ryan watched him disappear, looking to Brendon after. "Should we...?" he asked, worried about what William might do.

"You can't be late." Brendon quietly responded, shaking his head and avoiding eye contact. "We've wasted enough time here." He grabbed Gabe's bags and carried them down to the open trunk, putting them inside and going to the driver's side.

Ryan grabbed his own bags, Spencer hesitantly following him to the car with Jon, no doubt afraid that the two had to sit in the back with a clearly upset Gabe. Ryan crammed his bags into the little space left then shut the trunk, giving a look to Spencer to just deal with it and get in because Ryan wasn't in the mood to deal with him, going to the passenger side feeling nothing but numbness. 

**■□■□■□■□■□■□■□■□**

The drive to the airport was like watching a gory horror movie with Disney songs playing on top. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and out of place, to say the least. They had no music and no sound other than the tires on the gravel and five different patterns of somewhat heavy, irregular breathing. 

Spencer made Jon sit in the middle next to Gabe, staying close to the door regardless. Gabe was pressed close to the door he sat by, head leaning on the window with a blank expression half hidden behind the hood of the purple hoodie he wore despite the heat. His hands were limp in his lap, and his posture slumped. His eyes were red and haunted, tears running down his cheeks every now again only to get wiped away quickly with a sleeve. 

Up front, Brendon drove with a death grip on the wheel, staring straight ahead with a clenched jaw and hollow expression. Ryan stared out his window, trying to make things out of the clouds, his head spinning and eyes burning. He was exhausted but wide awake; hungry but nauseous. No one had the courage to speak, leaving the trip to drown in the silence. It was a ten minute drive, but it felt like hours; like walking to the chair from death row. 

When they finally arrived, Brendon pulled up to the drop off zone; Gabe getting out before the car was even off. Brendon unbuckled and followed, opening the trunk, and taking everyone's things out. Gabe took his bags himself and went to the building, disappearing inside before the others were even out. Jon grabbed his and Spencer's bags, leaving Ryan to his own.

"Thank you so much," Spencer said, pulling Brendon into a hug. "We had an amazing time." Brendon looked uncomfortable, but hugged Spencer back regardless. "We have to keep in touch, too." 

"Spin;" Jon softly spoke, tone really telling Spencer to let go and leave him be. Spencer lingered a moment longer before actually doing so. "It really was great, Brendon. Thank you for your hospitality and help." Jon smiled that awesome lazy yet genuine smile that meant he was truly sincere. 

"No problem." Brendon gave a small smile of his own. "Take care."

"We'll try." Jon laughed two or three times, adjusting the bags hanging off him and refusing to let Spencer take any. "Come on," he said to his boyfriend, motioning towards the door with his head. Spencer glanced briefly at Ryan then nodded, following Jon inside to leave the two alone by the car.

"So..." Ryan had no clue what to say or do now. 

"I can't go in there," Brendon said. 

"Um...okay?" Ryan was confused.

"Well, I can, but I won't." The man clarified. "I can't..." He bit the corner of his bottom lip. "It may sound stupid, but I can't actually watch you get on that plane. I can't watch you leave, Ryan." Brendon looked away sadly. 

"Oh." It all suddenly made sense. Ryan's gut tightened and his mouth got bone dry all over. But he understood. Say goodbye was one thing; witnessing it was an entirely different matter. "Okay." He licked his lips to no avail. 

"So...I..." Brendon shuffled his stance. "I guess this is...goodbye..."

"I guess so..." After a moments silence, the two grabbed each other in a bone-crushing hug; desperately clinging. Neither was concerned they were in the way because they needed this; this final moment. 

"Please take care of yourself." Brendon whispered to Ryan, hands balled in his shirt.

"You too." Ryan replied with the same ferocity. 

"Don't forget about me." There was a fearful uncertainty in Brendon's voice.

"Never." Ryan confidently vowed. How could he forget Brendon? That would be like forgetting his name or birthday. Brendon was part of him now; part of his life. Even if only for a glimpse.

They stood like that for a few minutes but it felt like seconds before Brendon forced them apart. "You really have to go," he said sadly.

"Probably." Ryan agreed just as miserably.

Brendon engaged him in the best kiss he'd ever experienced, drawing back when they could no longer breathe and tucking some of Ryan's hair aside. "I love you, Ryan Ross."

"I love you too, Brendon Urie," Ryan said, the two sharing one last kiss. Brendon blinked back tears as he picked up Ryan's bags to give them to him, shutting the trunk. "I'll call as soon as we land," Ryan said, stepping onto the sidewalk.

"Swear," Brendon said with a demanding tone.

"I swear." Ryan's lips gave a tiny smile. "Bye." he barely choked the word out, walking backwards.

"Bye;" Brendon pretty much mouthed, waving pathetically. He leaned back against his car, watching Ryan who had to turn around to get inside. Ryan stopped right inside the door to wave to Brendon who again waved with one hand; using the other to frantically wipe at his eyes.

Hearing his flight announced overhead, Ryan was forced to press on through the decent sized airport towards the proper gate. He got in line at the security check, setting his bags on the ground since they grew heavier with each step. Spencer and Jon waited on the other side for him, Spencer beckoning him to hurry, as though Ryan could force the anal-tight security to move faster. 

Ryan turned once more but the doors were too far away, and happy people were lining up behind him, blocking his view. Ryan felt ready to hyperventilate and face forward, hand immediately going to his neck where the necklace rested. As his finger moved over the shell, tears found their way out, unable to let go of the little symbol of love. 

William's words started pestering Ryan. He had never really imagined much of his future because he was always so fixed on the present. But as Ryan thought, he started picturing Brendon taking care of him when he was sick, and sending him roses just because, and staying up to worry if he stayed out too late. He started seeing Brendon there to have a family with and be sad with and to grow old with.

He saw Brendon there to die with him; eyes sparkling and smiling warmly to take all the pain away as Ryan moved on to whatever waited for him after this life.

"Sir?" Ryan crashed back to reality and saw the line in front of him gone; a security guard looking at him questioningly. It was his turn to pass through. His turn to be checked and cleared so he could get on the plane. His turn to go back to Vegas and live a life without everything he just imagined.

Releasing the necklace, Ryan grabbed his bags and shut his eyes, taking a deep breath and doing what he felt was right in his breaking heart.


End file.
